Sailor Moondrop
Episode 102: A Youma in the Library? The Second Senshi Appears!
"So how do we know when we've found the Flower Princess…?"
Popuri was sitting at a small round dinette table in Barley's home, snacking on rice balls and green tea. "We'll just know," the elder replied. "We would have that flower to go by, but…"
"Yeah, sorry about that," shrugged Popuri. "It just looked so delicious, and… it tasted like purple." The girl shuddered.
"It tasted like purple?" Barley asked.
"Yeah… It was bad. I wish it tasted like red. Red tastes like happy. Purple tastes like sad." Popuri gave a big frown.
"Purple tastes like… look," Barley muttered, obviously irritated. "The sooner we find the Flower Princess and the other Senshi, the better. Sadly, as it is, we have no way to know where to search."
"Why don't we just wait for the enemy to attack and then just follow them wherever they go?" Popuri shrugged. "It seems like the obvious and best solution. See, when you're a superhero like me, these things just come together." Making a contented noise, she leaned back in her chair and placed her feet on the table, her right heel landing in a cup of green tea. "Ah! Ah! Hot! Hot! Barley, you said superheroes couldn't be scalded! Why did you lie?"
"I never said that at all," the old man sighed.
"Stop lying!" Popuri sobbed.
"Anyways, we do have one way to find out if someone is out of the ordinary," Barley admitted. "I have a sensor that detects peculiar energy being emitted from a specific area or person. However, I won't be able to tell whether the energy is good, or evil."
"So, if we find energy, we'll know we've found something, but we won't know what we've found?" Barley nodded. "Then what the heck is the point, exactly? I mean… it seems pretty stupid. You're the worst old person ever."
"I'd remind you that you're drinking my tea and eating my cookies and you're a guest in my home, Popuri," he replied somewhat irately.
"Mhm, well, I'm Sailor Moondrop. If you're not nice to me, I could blast you in the face with like… a moon drop or something. So behave." She triumphantly gulped her tea, which was still steaming, so she burned the back of her throat. "Ow! Barley! It burns! Do something!"
He shook his head.
-
"Chef… I trust that you have something good to tell me?" the Harvest Goddess smiled coquettishly as she looked down on her subordinate.
"Not exactly, but-"
"Why the hell not?" The Goddess pulled out a bowie knife and hurled it at Chef, catching his tunic and pinning him to the ground. "You've got one minute to tell me something that will make me climax in joy, or I'll use your face to scrub my toilet."
"We believe we've found the Flower Princess!" the one-legged red elf blurted, bringing a smile to the lips of his superior.
"Well, that is certainly good news. I might even reconsider killing you based on this turn of events," she said breathily. The deity brought her tented fingers close to her face. "Out with it. Who's the Princess?"
"Well, Your Godliness, we've tracked the strange energy down to five different girls. Having already eliminated the possibility that it's the daft Sailor Bananaface, I've calculated that the next most likely candidate to bear the mantle of the Princess is a young librarian named Mary," the sprite announced, and the Goddess chuckled.
"Am I to assume that this librarian has not yet been informed of her destiny?" The dwarf shook his head rapidly, and the Harvest Goddess took on an expression of utmost seriousness. "This… Mary needs to die before that decrepit old skeleton Barley gets the opportunity to talk to her. I assume you've whipped up a Youma for the occasion?"
"I have, but…" He hesitated to speak, but then went ahead with it. "Your Godliness, not to question Your decisions… but wouldn't it be quicker and far more likely to succeed if you merely killed the girl yourself?"
"Probably," the Goddess replied, "but that would involve getting up and doing things, and I far prefer for success to just fall into my lap through no actual work of my own. Now go plant a Youma in the library or I'll beat you to death with a sock full of quarters."
Chef hobbled away as quickly as one leg could carry him.
-
The little bell on the library door jingled, signifying a new customer. It wasn't an unfamiliar noise to the proprietor of the only such establishment in Mineral Town - Mary looked up at the door to see who was entering. After all, she only had a handful of regulars: her father, Basil, who would occasionally retrieve his own tomes on botany, the Mayor, who often got lost trying to find his way to the supermarket, and Gray.
Mary let out a dreamy sigh.
"Mary, are you alright?" the boy in the blue ball cap asked, peering into the librarian's eyes, which had turned into giant pulsating red hearts. He scratched his head curiously, and the girl quickly shook off her affliction.
"Yes, I'm fine. How may I help you?" she smiled.
"Well, I needed a place to take my shirt off and do stretches, then make out with the nearest female to warm down." Mary's heart skipped a couple of beats. "I was wondering if you could provide me with a map to the inn."
"Oh…" A red blush crawled across her cheeks, and right there, the shy girl resolved herself that today would finally be the day she confessed her unrequited love for the blacksmith's apprentice. "Gray-kun…"
"What is it, Mary?" the young man replied, his eyes glowing with what Mary mistook for like-minded emotions but what was actually complete disinterest.
"I… have something to tell you…" She looked down into the novel she was infamously writing, a graphic lemon starring Gray and a Mary-Sue, only without the Sue. "I… love-" Just as she was about to confess her feelings, she brought her hand up to Gray's face too quickly and poked Gray right in the eye.
"Ouch!" The man rubbed his eye under the ball cap. "What was that for? You love to poke me in the eye? Is that the huge confession?"
"No, no! I'm so sorry! Please forgive me! What I meant to say was that…" She composed herself. "Gray… I…" It was poor coordination that led her to bring down her elbow on just the wrong part of the desk to knock a coffee mug off the desk and straight into Gray's goodie bag.
"Oh, mercy!" He doubled over and fell to the tile floor, much to Mary's consternation. She cursed herself for her clumsiness and rushed to his side.
"Gray! Gray, are you alright?" she near-shrieked. Composing himself, Gray grunted and barely managed to rise to his feet.
"I'm fine now, but I won't be if you don't get to the point soon!" the redhead barked, losing patience fairly quickly. Mary chattered and brought her hands to her mouth.
"I'm so sorry, it's just that-" She brought her hands out to take Gray's shoulders, but only managed to knock him backwards, sending him skidding into a bookshelf. It promptly collapsed and sent volumes A-Am through I-K of an encyclopaedia set crashing onto the boy's head.
"Oh, GOD!" Mary gasped. "Gray! Speak to me!" He grunted that he was alright, and the librarian pulled him up to his feet. "I'm sorry… I'd forgotten we just had the floors waxed. Here, lean on my shoulder." As the pair hobbled back over to the reception desk, the female half finally decided to spit it out. "Gray, I'm madly in love with y-" It was at that exact moment that she could no longer support his weight, sending him stumbling into the wall where the gun hanging there promptly shot him through the chest.
"FUCK!" The apprentice fell to the ground in agony, and Mary ran back to his side. "WHY THE HELL DO YOU KEEP A LOADED GUN ON YOUR WALL?" the victim demanded.
"It… it never gave us any trouble before this! Oh, Gray! Please, don't die." She propped her love interest up against the wall. "I realize now that I have to say this - Gray, I love y-"
A rhinoceros tore through the wall and impaled Gray on its horn.
"Okay, this is just getting ridiculous," Mary hissed, clearly losing her patience. At that point, she decided that maybe some things were better left unsaid, and hid Gray discreetly in the reference section.
-
"Hmm…"
Barley looked down at his patented Flowerbud Kingdom Energometer and noticed a series of rapidly arching lines. "There's some bizarre energy coming from this library…"
He looked up at the innocuous ivy covered building.
-
Mary was reading her erotic novel when she heard the door creak open. "Great timing," Mary muttered to herself as she looked up to see a small figure looking around mischievously. He wore a black trench coat and a top hat, along with a monocle, and a stuffed parrot on his shoulder. To emphasize his disguise, he blew bubbles from a bright orange pipe, obviously made for children. "May I help you?"
"Hello," the elf-like creature said with a tip of his hat. "My name is Sir Chef Cheffington. How do you do?" His voice had a thick British accent; one that was easy to distinguish as fake.
"I'm doing well, thank you for asking," the raven haired girl responded. The stranger's attire sparked her curiosity and Mary couldn't help but ask about it. "Say, you're not in disguise, are you?"
Chef's gaze shuffled from side to side. "No. Why would you think that?" He reached into a pocket and took out a pair of sequined cat eye glasses, which he swiftly moved in front of his face.
"No reason," Mary replied quickly. While Chef seemed harmless, she still had a nagging suspicion that wouldn't go away, so she decided to address it. "I was just wondering… you're not one of those evil Harvest Sprites, are you?"
"M-me?" Chef stuttered, "No, of course not."
"So you're not going to turn one of my books into a youma?" The librarian questioned, to which the sprite shook his head. "All right, you're free to look around. No one ever comes by anyway." Chef nodded sympathetically then retreated to the back of the library.
Mary was about to resume her reading when she heard the door open again. "Oh, who is it now?"
"So Barley, do you think we'll find another one of the Mineral Senshi in here?" Mary heard the loud sugary voice of a familiar pink haired girl. Popuri entered the library with her companion as she continued to talk, oblivious to the fact that Mary could hear every word. The flower girl wore a pink fuku and a pair of daisy earrings. "Maybe the royal nurse is here, or how about the village slut?"
Barley hushed Popuri with a wave of his hand. "It may not be a member of the Mineral Senshi at all, it might just be a youma." He advised her to remain discreet in case they were, in fact, dealing with a youma.
Mary looked at the duo strangely as they huddled in their corner whispering. "Can I help you?"
Popuri took this opportunity to pounce on the librarian. "You're a no good youma!" She grabbed Mary's head and slammed it into the floor. "Well now you're dealing with Sailor Moondrop, so eat dust, youmahead!"
Mary struggled to get Popuri off of her but to no avail. "What are you talking about? I'm not a youma!"
"Oh yeah? I bet that's what they all say!" The pink haired girl had overpowered her opponent and was punching her repeatedly in the face. "Die! Die! Die! Why aren't you dead yet? Oh, I forgot!" Popuri grabbed her wand and beat Mary over the head with it. "Pretty Flower Sunshine Happy Attack!"
Flower petals surrounded the two girls as Popuri continued to carry out her abuse. Popuri snatched the stapler off of Mary's desk and began stapling her hair to floor. "I bet you'll think twice before you deal with me again, wont you, youmabitch?"
Just as Popuri was about finish the unconscious girl off, she heard a rumbling sound. "What's that?" Suddenly, a book flew off the shelf and morphed into a giant monster. Each page became a hand and the book's cover formed a face. "Wait, if that's the youma then…" Popuri looked down at Mary's beaten body and blushed with embarrassment. "Oops, my bad!"
Barley, however, paid no mind to the youma, as he noticed a mark on the waking Mary's forehead.
"…Mary! On your forehead… the sign of Bookmark!"
The librarian touched her head and winced. "No, I'm pretty sure that's just a head wound from Popuri digging her nails into my scalp." Popuri flushed pink and wondered how Mary had recognized her through her disguise, even though she was basically just wearing new earrings and a shorter skirt.
"No, not that. It means you are the chosen Sailor Senshi, Sailor Bookmark!"
"Was she the slut?" Sailor Bananaface asked innocently. Barley gave her a disgusted look.
"Sailor Bookmark was the royal librarian, and it is said that along with super-intelligence, she possessed the ability to throw a book like none other in the Flower Kingdom. Mary, take this henshin wand and transform! Say 'Bookmark Power, Make Up'!"
Mary gave him and odd look and turned to Popuri. "So that thing talks?"
Barley twitched momentarily, then continued. "Popuri, prove it to her! Attack the youma with your powers!"
"Sure thing, Carmen!" Popuri hopped to her feet and raised her hand in the air. "Spongella... ATTACK!"
The youma, which had been patiently waiting as the threesome conversed, quickly readied itself for the blast that never came. Perhaps a cherry blossom or two blew by it as a bewildered Barley cried, "What the fuck is Spongella?"
"It's my best greatest attack ever!" whined Popuri. "And you ruined it! You ruin everything, Carmen, I hate you! I hate your face so hard!" The pinkhaired Senshi started to sob openly, confusing everybody present.
Finally, the youma'd had enough, and with a cry of "CHAPTINA!", it sent a blast of white liquid flying at the group.
"Oh, no! Papercut juice!" Barley yelled, and he quickly pulled the ladies out of harm's way as the froth melted the receptionist's desk. Mary called out in horror.
"My mom will kill me! Well... actually, this monster will probably kill me f-"
She was cut off by what appeared to be a dandelion hurling into her library's freshly waxed marble floor and leaving a thick crack. She began to weep.
"Tuxedo Bandanna!" cried Sailor Bananaface.
"Nothing to fear, ladies!" Tuxedo Bandanna appeared on the ledge of the second floor window. "Good always triumphs over evil and love conquers all." Mary recognized the man as the owner of the Snack Shack, Kai. "Hello Sailor Bookmark," he said, trying desperately to disguise his voice, "It is I, TUXEDO BANDANNA, here to save the day and-"
"Oh, shut up already!" Mary yelled, irritated by his nonsense. "None of this makes any sense, and I refuse to believe any of it!" She angrily threw a book at him, hitting him square in the jaw and knocking him out of the window. She heard him scream as he fell two stories and landed with a giant THUD.
"Oh wow," Barley marvelled, "Mary, clearly you ARE Sailor Bookmark. Only Sailor Bookmark can throw a book with that much accuracy and speed."
As if underscoring his words, Chaptina instantly grabbed a book and nailed Barley square in the forehead, putting him out of commission and leaving a huge crack in the glass of the library's grandfather clock.
Mary clenched her fists and seethed as she saw another piece of her beloved library reduced to rubble. "That tears it."
"BOOKMARK POWER, MAKE UP!"
Perky, upbeat music began pealing from an unknown source as Mary became nothing but a nude series of glowing lights and body lines, dancing around various mathematical equations as a series of green numbers twirled around her body, forming a sailor-fuku, gloves, a tiara, and cute little slingback pumps from Payless. Thus was born Sailor Bookmark.
"Hey! No glasses!" Bookmark smiled. "I can see!" She quickly disarmed the theory by walking straight into a coatrack. Her glasses had just been set down on the endtable until she de-transformed.
Chaptina roared and launched another bout of papercut juice at the girls, who jumped out of the way, Popuri landing clumsily on her ass. Mary raised a thick dictionary high in the air and began to twirl. "BOOKMARK..."
"...BLAST!"
Gray opened his eyes, regaining consciousness. "Huh? What's going on?" He crawled out from behind the bookcase just in time to see Sailor Bookmark nail the youma with a giant dictionary. "Oh wow," he muttered, amazed. "She's wonderful."
"Wow, I didn't think I could do that," Sailor Bookmark said, surprised that her attack had weakened the youma at all. It began to wobble like a drunk and make gurgling sounds.
"She's so strong and brave… and modest too," Gray said, hypnotized by the sight before him. He continued to gawk at her until a book fell and hit his head, knocking him unconscious once again.
Popuri giggled as she pushed Mary out of the way and mimicked a pose she saw on Charles Angels. "Prepare to die, you… evil book thing!" Waving her arms around wildly, Popuri screamed. "Desperate Flower-Eating Candy Attack!"
Dozens of flowers appearing from out of nowhere flew at the youma, slicing its pages and destroying the evil monster. "Yay! Once again the day is saved thanks to Sailor Bananaface!"
Their victory celebration was short-lived. The girls quickly detransformed as they saw Gray coming to.
Mary grabbed her glasses and ran to Gray's unconscious body and kneeled by his side. "Gray," She nudged him softly. "Wake up, Gray. Everything is fine now."
The blacksmith opened his eyes to Mary's smiling face. The view comforted the young boy. "Oh Mary…" he began, breathlessly. "You missed Sailor Bookmark. She was so amazing. She saved me from this evil book monster…"
Mary cocked her eyebrow and grinned. "Well, I'm glad to see you're all right." Patting his head softly, the librarian continued. "Now… there's something I want to ask you." Mary hesitated for a moment, glancing around nervously. After the long and hectic day she'd endured, Mary was finally going to ask him. "Will you go out with me?"
Awkward silence followed Mary's question. Gray pushed himself up and looked Mary in the eye. He sighed. "Mary, if only you'd asked sooner." The redhead frowned. "My heart belongs to another now. Sailor Bookmark is more than my saviour, Mary, she's my soul mate."
Mary stiffened, put off by his comment. "And you know this from one encounter?"
Gray shook his head furiously. "No, it's not like that!" He looked off into the distance dreamily. "We shared a connection. She looked into the depths of my soul and I looked into hers. It was magical." Mary blinked awkwardly, she hadn't realized the impact Sailor Bookmark would have on Gray. "From now on, I will devote my life to her. I will worship her every minute of the day and build a shrine for her. I'll even try to get a lock of her hair."
"Don't you think you're taking this a little far?" Mary asked, concerned.
Gray slammed his fist into the floorboards. "You don't get it, Mary, and why would you? You're just like everyone else! You're going to try to sabotage this, aren't you? You're going to try to stop me from loving her, Mary! Why don't you want me to be happy?" He started sobbing. "You don't understand what we have, it's sacred. But Sailor Bookmark knows. SHE understands."
Mary patted her friend's shoulder. "Calm down a little, okay?"
Gray wiped his tears. "I'm sorry. I just… I love her so much. I want to be with her." Mary felt a twinge of jealousy. She wanted to scream that she was Sailor Bookmark and that he should be worshipping her, but she stopped herself. Gray looked at Mary with a pained expression on his face. "I hope she knows how much I love her."
"She's a lucky girl," Mary said bitterly. She paused briefly before going on. "Gray, what would you say if I told you that I was Sailor Bookmark?"
Gray broke into laughter, slapping his knee. "Oh Mary, you're so funny. You know just what to say to make me feel better. You have glasses, Sailor Bookmark doesn't."
Popuri laughed cluelessly. "Silly Mary!"
Mary sighed, and began to laugh as well so as not to blow her cover. And so we fade out on this scene, as the three youths shared a laugh in a destroyed library with monster excrement all over the walls, and an unconscious senior citizen slowly bleeding to death behind the remains of the reception desk.
Merry Christmas, everybody.
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END
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End Credits: Yes, we know it's August.
QW here, though this was a joint production between AppleGoddess and I. 50/50. So the love gets spread equally. nudge
Mary and Gray join our cast of the insane this chapter, as an obvious Ami and… that dude from the first season Ami dated for two episodes then never saw again. I hated that guy. Gray will hopefully have more longevity, though.
Thanks to y'all for the positive reviews, and get ready for Episode 103: Won Sells Poisoned Apples? Clearly Evil Salesman. Now, you review. shifty eyes
-QW