Disclaimer: PetFly owns 'em, I don't.
Notes:
This challenge was brought to you by yours truly after Jo Ann uttered
the sentence, "It's like having whipped cream on your privates
when they let the puppies in," in the Sentinel Angst Onelist
chatroom (she says she heard it on the radio, but who knows?). I
remarked that it sounded like a Sandburg-ism, and wondered what would
happen if our favorite observer uttered that gem in the Bullpen.
Chat Challenge: Puppies
by Kittie
Newly graduated Detective Blair Sandburg struggled into the Major Crimes bullpen, weighted down by what felt like several pounds of donuts. A cheer went up around the room, and the most junior member of Major Crimes suddenly found himself surrounded by a pack of very hungry detectives.
"Didja bring the Boston Creme?"
"...Plain glazed?"
"...Chocolate-covered?"
"...Powdered sugar and jelly?"
The excited demands buffeted him from all sides, making it impossible for him to distinguish who was saying what. Even the traitorous Sentinel had gotten into the act, and was busily rifling through the boxes still in his guide's hands, looking for a stash of buttermilk donuts.
Sandburg managed to fight his way to his desk, where he dumped the boxes unceremoniously and dove out of the way. He could only watch in fascinated, disgusted horror as the boxes were ripped apart and emptied of contents in mere seconds.
Finally, the sated officers left the scene of the crime, leaving only a few shreds of cardboard and several crumbs as evidence of their gluttony. Sandburg shook his head slowly, blinking owlishly at the destruction.
"I saved you a plain donut, Chief," came Jim's voice behind him, only slightly apologetic.
Sandburg took the offering numbly, still staring at his decimated desk. "It's like having whipped cream on your privates when they let the puppies in," he remarked to himself, and suddenly the bullpen went silent, every head turning to face him in obvious confusion.
"What!" Jim asked, as Megan mouthed the odd metaphor under her breath, obviously trying to decifer what exactly it meant.
Sandburg shook himself again, finally breaking out of his stupor. "Nothing." He went to his desk and began to task of clean-up. "But somebody else has got to do donut duty next time," he grumbled. "I'm out of Redi-Whip."
Everyone decided it wasn't worth trying to figure out and just chalked it up to another trip in the Sandburg Zone.
Puppies, indeed.
End