Part 33

When the door didn't open right away, Max thought about turning around, leaving and telling one of the many minions to go tell Liz about the new baby. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. Even if he couldn't put his arms around her and touch her, hold her like he wanted, he still wanted — maybe even needed — to see her; to look into her eyes and assure himself that what he saw earlier was nothing more then a figment of his imagination. Maybe he only saw what he believed to be true not what was actually true. It wasn't as if that hadn't happened before. He reached towards the door once more.

Hearing the second knock, Liz shot up. "What the…" She swung her feet over the side of the bed and tried to shake the fog of sleep from her mind. Looking around the room, she remembered where she was. Antar . . . she was on Antar . . . Maria . . . Maria was having a baby. She had fallen asleep. Shaking her hair out of her face she jumped off the bed and ran to the door.

On the other side of the door Max argued out loud with himself. "It would be better if you just left, Max. It doesn't matter if what you saw is the truth or not, in fact, it is probably better if it was. Liz would probably have an easier time moving on that way."

As she reached for the handle she paused, sensing that Max was the one on the other side of the door. This caused feelings of pain and fear. Not that she was scared of him but, she didn't want to see him — he had made his decision and now they both had to live with it. If she opened that door and looked into his eyes she might see something that she would interpret as love and that would give her hope, hope that he would only crush again.

The only protection she could find from that thinking was anger but now, needing to know what was happening with Maria, she pushed it to the back of her mind. Max would tell her what was going on and leave and that would be that.

Almost convinced that he needed to leave, he took a small step back and turned only to hear the door creak open behind him.

As she opened the door, she saw him starting to walk away. Part of her wanted to let him go, but her concern about Maria and the baby caused her to stop him. "Max?"

He froze when he heard her voice. 'I suppose this is fate's decision,' he thought. Taking a deep breath he ran his hand once more through his hair as he turned towards her.

Disheveled and beautiful, Liz stood before him keeping her eyes level. "Maria? The baby? Are they alright?" She asked with a tinge of coldness.

Max frowned at the tone of her voice but didn't say anything. He nodded his head. "She had a boy less then a half hour ago. They're both fine. She asked for you but, she needs some time so you are supposed to wait for a while before going in to see her."

Still staring at his chest, Liz nodded and forced out a thank you. Wanting to get away from him as soon as she could, she started to shut the door.

Without thought, Max pressed his hand against the door to prevent it from closing. "Liz?" What he wanted to say next was 'Look at me dammit!' but instead he just asked, "Can we talk?"

Trying to be patient, he waited for what seemed to be an eternity for her to answer — to nod her head — something. And hell, she still wouldn't even look into his eyes. He didn't know why that mattered so much to him – this brief encounter had convinced him that what he saw earlier had indeed been the truth – but it did matter. As she stood relatively still, he could see the anger now rising in her face.

Liz took a deep breath. Her first reaction to his question had been to tell him no . . . to insist that he leave. But anger . . . anger that should have been resolved over the years all came to a head at that moment.

Clearing her throat, she finally gave Max what he wanted and looked directly into his eyes. Eyes that had always caused her to swoon, eyes she had always sought for strength, comfort, security and love but at this moment those were all gone and so was the effect. "What do you want to talk about, Max?" Barely pausing, she really didn't give him a chance to answer. "I know, we could talk about how you wouldn't believe me when I told you that Alex was murdered; how you tried to control me and everyone else during the weeks that followed!" Hearing her voice rise she almost reined in her fury but at this point she just didn't give a damn. "How you fucked a murderous bitch!"

"Dammit . . ." Max groaned.

Not about to let him interrupt her rant, Liz cut him off. "Or would you rather talk about something more recent!" Liz stood on her tiptoes and leaned towards him in a confrontational manner. She could see the frustration in his face, the beginning of anger in his eyes. But she wasn't about to back down, not now . . . not anymore. "Let's discuss how you gave up on me when I went missing! How you believed I did the unthinkable! Then how you proceeded to blame ME for everything you did wrong in your pathetic alien life!"

Max tightened his fists, trying hard not to explode. He knew eventually this moment would come, but why now . . . when they were both so exhausted, so emotional? Of course he realized on some level that their mind set was exactly the reason it had come now, but understanding that did not stop the rage that was building.

"If none of those topics appeal to you we could talk about how you have kept everything from me, including my life, under some stupid guise of protecting me! How you have treated me, as well as everyone else, like second-class citizens! Let's talk about how you left Maria and her unborn child on Earth to die! How you spend the last few months pretending to still love me only to take off without a second thought to my feelings, then giving Serena orders to destroy the granolith so you didn't have to deal with the nuisance of me finding you!"

Taking a deep breath, Liz opened her mouth to continue, but Max had heard enough. He was going to have his say.

"So that's it?" He began trying to keep his voice level. "It's not about any of my mistakes. It's all about how I left you!"

Liz started to slam the door in his face, but Max stepped between the door and the frame.

"We are not finished!" He growled.

"The hell we aren't! We are completely finished!" She yelled, trying with all her might to close the door in his face. "I loved you . . . you didn't love me . . . so now it's over."

He tried to stop himself but his thoughts just tumbled out. "You didn't love me first!"

Liz jerked her head back in surprise. "What the hell kind of argument is that?"

"You're the one who pretended to sleep with Kyle . . . you're the one who left first."

"You should have believed in me!"

Max laughed sarcastically. "What . . . like you did! You couldn't believe in me or our love enough to tell me about what was happening! That was YOUR choice and you can't blame anyone but yourself for it!"

Liz let go of the door and pointed at him. "You asked me to do it!"

Feeling the urge to strangle her, Max willed his arms to his side. "I never asked you any such thing! I begged you to tell me the truth! BUT, NO…! Over and over again you just lied to my face!" For her sake, Max took a step back, trying to put a safe distance between them.

Liz shook her head violently. "It was you Max! It was your face, your eyes, YOU! You asked me to do it! So don't tell me I didn't love you. I loved you . . . I loved you enough . . ."

". . . to lie!" He finished. "And now you are mad because . . . why? Because I didn't crawl into a hole and hope that you would someday realize the error of your ways and come back to me to proclaim your undying love!"

"No I wouldn't have wanted that, but you didn't have to give up on love!" She saw the smirk on his face as she said that but she ignored it. "You didn't have to turn away from your family, your friends, your humanity! You didn't have to become a monster!"

Surging with anger, Max grabbed her arms and shook her. "But I did! Everything you are saying is the truth . . . I gave up on you . . . I gave up on love . . . I gave up on humanity! I am everything you hate! I admit it! I am the monster!

"Let go of me!" She screamed as she tried to pull away. Realizing that his grip was too tight, she turned her head from him as she fought back tears of anger and frustration.

"LOOK AT ME!" He yelled as he grabbed her chin and turned her eyes back towards him. "Would you like to see it Liz! Everything! All the sins I've committed! All the pain I've caused! Do you want to relive the horror that you endured! Do you want to see how knowing and loving me has caused you NOTHING but pain!" He moved his hands to the sides of her face, preparing to connect with her . . . to show her once and for all the true face of the monster . . . the monster she was better off without.