Sins of the Father

Paine and Liss strolled through the main Luca shopping district, carrying bags and chatting. Spending free afternoons together in the city had become something of a tradition with them over the last few months. Paine particularly appreciated Liss as a shopping companion -- there was none of the exclaiming over fripperies that she had to put up with from Rikku and Yuna. Liss simply found what she wanted and bought it. They were headed to their favorite pub for a late lunch when Liss paused in front of a window display that caught her eye.

"Hey Paine, let's go in here," Liss said. "I like the look of these gloves -- my old ones are wearing out."

"Um." Paine double-checked the sign on the storefront. "Well, we can. But you should know that this is Dix's shop."

"Dix?" Liss turned around. "Our grandfather? He's alive?"

Paine snorted. "That crusty old bastard will never die."

"Interesting." Liss rocked back on her heels. "Like with everything else, Mother didn't talk a lot about Dix, but she did tell me a few things. None of them were particularly complementary." She bit her lip thoughtfully. "But I must admit that I'm curious to meet him."

"No time like the present, then." Paine walked to the door and put her fingers on the handle. "If you're ready?"

Liss took a deep breath, then nodded. Paine pulled the door open and stepped through, her cousin following close behind.

No one stood behind the counter, so they started browsing. Liss set down her bags, then picked up the black leather gloves she had been eyeing and pulled one on. "Hmm," she said, looking over her hand with a critical eye, tightening her fingers into a fist, then splaying them.

"They suit you," said a gruff voice. "Perhaps a bit small, though; you have large hands for a girl. I can check my stock for-- oh, Paine. What brings you here?"

The women turned around to see a man in his mid-sixties. He was about the same height as Paine in her heels -- easily several inches shorter than Liss -- with iron gray hair, deep blue eyes, and, if the lines on his face were any indication, a permanent scowl.

"Hello, Grandfather," Paine said. "I'd like to introduce you to your other granddaughter, Lissira."

"Other granddaughter?" His tone incredulous, he pulled on the eyeglasses that hung around his neck and peered at Liss through them. "Hmph. Well, you certainly resemble your mother, despite your height. But I thought you died when she did."

Liss looked at Dix, confused, a small wrinkle appearing between furrowed eyebrows. "My mother's not dead. She lives near the Calm Lands. And I don't particularly look like her, either."

"Yes, what are you-- oh," and Paine understood. "Liss, he thinks you're my sister." She addressed Dix. "No, Grandfather, you're thinking of my younger brother, who died a long time ago. Liss is my cousin."

"Cousin? How is that poss..." Then all the blood drained from his face. "Auron?" he whispered, his eyes boring into Liss's. The young woman nodded silently. "So who is your mother?" His expression hardened. "Of course. It's her, isn't it? That girl. The one who ruined his life."

Liss recoiled as if slapped. "How dare you speak about my mother that way!"

"He had at all within his reach, everything I'd ever wanted for him and more," said Dix harshly. "All he had to do was accept the marriage proposal. He could have had the daughter of the high priest of Bevelle, a Maester's granddaughter! But no, he didn't love her. He loved Arelle, and he was going to throw it all away for her." He fixed an upward glare on Liss. "Well, whatever she told you, I did what I had to do. Someone needed to save him from himself!"

Her voice turned very cold and flat as she responded. "My mother told me very little about you, actually. Mostly that you were not to be trusted. Funny that you think she ruined my father's life; she said the same thing about you once. I don't know what you did, but it doesn't matter. Whatever it was, I don't think I ever need to see you again." She peeled off the glove that was still on her hand and threw it to the floor. Then she turned on her heel and walked out, slamming the door with great force.

"You sure blew that one," said Paine, her tone icy. Dix's face turned gray. He swallowed once but said nothing. Paine gathered up the bags that Liss had forgotten and followed her cousin into the street.

Liss stood out in the open, her hands in tight fists at her sides, her face to the sky. Paine walked up behind her and carefully touched her shoulder. Liss turned, a glint of righteous fury in her eyes. The sight triggered a memory: Paine had seen a very similar pair of gray eyes containing that same furious expression once, long ago, and fragments of an overheard argument floated back to her. "Don't you ever tell me how to live my life." "Fine! Then you can find someone else to pick up the pieces the next time he leaves your heart in shreds! Because I'm not doing it anymore." And another door slammed shut, forever.

"Marriage proposal? High priest's daughter?" Liss shook her head, looking like she wanted to hit something. Her voice rose now, with anger and frustration. "I'm so sick of having all these fiend-damned hints and no real information! All my life, I've respected Mother's wish to leave the past behind, but right now I just want to go demand some answers from her."

Paine crossed her arms and rubbed her elbow as she considered the situation. "What if you wrote her a letter? Maybe it would be easier for her to write it down than to talk about it face to face."

"That's a good idea." Liss let out a puff of air and unclenched her fingers. "Do you mind if we skip going to lunch? I want to get on this right away."

"Of course not." The two women gathered their things and headed back to the Academy.

We were in Macalania for almost four weeks. The Sinspawn would be thrown back, only to be replaced by a fresh wave within a day. I spent most of my time in the temple, which we had set up as a command center, and it chafed, sending men out in the field without taking any risk to myself. But the other captains were adamant, as was Kal, whom I had put in charge of Gray Squadron for the duration of the operation: the death of the commander had been a severe blow to temple defenses and garrison morale, and they would not chance losing their leader again.

Eventually, we broke the final swarm, and we were able to head back to Bevelle. Overall losses were significant, but not as bad as I had feared they might be, and I'd only lost three of Gray Squadron. It was a relief to be out of the battle zone, but I was not looking forward to the skirmish still to come. Best to get it over with, though. When we returned in the morning, I wasted no time in setting up an afternoon meeting with him.

The appointed hour arrived, and I stood before his quarters, steeling myself for the confrontation that awaited inside. I had finally gotten up the courage to raise my hand and was about to rap it against the door when it opened. Maester Brac was there, smiling warmly. "Come in, come in!" he said, taking me by the shoulders and pulling me forward. The door swung closed behind us. Lorayn waited on the sitting room couch, her face glowing, and she started to rise when she saw me. To my great surprise, the Maester kissed me formally on each cheek, then looked down at me, his eyes sparkling with pleasure. "Welcome to the family."

What?

The twinkle faded, and I realized that I must have spoken the word aloud. "Pardon, your grace, but I haven't given you my answer yet."

"But you have," he said, the happiness in his expression transmuting to puzzlement, the gentle pressure of his hands slowly becoming a much firmer grip. "Not officially, of course, but I've known for days now. Your father came with your letter, the one telling him that you intended to accept and asking him to begin making the arrangements. "

I stepped away from the Maester as a ball of ice formed in my gut. His arms fell limply to his sides. Just past his shoulder, I could see Lorayn's bewildered face. "My apologies, your grace," I said slowly. "But I wrote no such letter. In fact, I sent no correspondence of any sort from Macalania; there was never time. Lieutenant Kal can confirm the truth of this if you wish."

"How is this possible? I have your letter right here." The Maester disappeared into his study and reappeared after a few moments with a piece of folded paper. He held it out to me, and I took it. Opening the note, I looked it over, and knew the truth of the situation. The pit of my stomach was still cold, but with growing anger now rather than fear. How could Dix have done this to me? Why had he believed that such an idiotic plan might work? And how had he known?

"This is a forgery." I projected calm with all the effort I could muster as I handed it back. "I did not write this letter; my father did. Our handwriting looks very similar, so I understand how you could mistake his for mine, especially as he was doing his best to mimic it. But if you compare it to something I wrote, the differences should be clear."

"So then..." The Maester looked uncertain. Suddenly he turned to Lorayn. "Leave us," he commanded, his pitch falling several notches lower than his usual medium tone.

"But Grandfather..." she started to say in a shaky voice.

"Go, now!" His body language as much as his words allowed no room for argument. She shot a single pained glance at me, then fled. I felt a quick pang of guilt for stealing away her happiness, but it passed -- better for her to know the truth sooner rather than later, even if she had gotten her hopes up falsely thanks to my father's treachery.

Dix's treachery, not mine, I reminded myself. Perhaps the situation could still be salvaged.

"Why are you here, Auron?" His tone had returned to its normal pitch, but there was a deathly calm to it that worried me a great deal. His eyes were flat; I could not read them, and that concerned me even more. But I had to tell him the truth, now, or the situation would only worsen.

"First, I want to say again how deeply honored I am--"

"Spare me the flattery." He folded his arms across his chest, a lip curling beneath his beard. "Do you accept my offer or not?"

"I am sorry, your grace, but I regret to tell you that I must decline. Nothing would please me more than to serve you as High Commander, but I fear that I cannot accept the hand of your granddaughter. My heart belongs to another, and I have sworn to marry no one else." I bowed deeply, then rose slowly and caught his eyes. They were no longer blank, and my heart plummeted at the sight.

"How dare you refuse?" he thundered. "You owe everything to me. I made you an officer within a year, a captain after just over two, and the youngest man to lead Gray Squadron in centuries, all because I wanted you for this. I gave you everything you wanted: Jass and Kal as your Leads, power, responsibility, my affection and respect. Now I make you the offer that every accomplished warrior monk has desired for years, and you throw it back in my face because you want to marry for love? It is the most preposterous thing I have ever heard. You have a duty to me, Auron, a duty to accept this proposal."

"I swore a vow to her--"

"And you swore a vow to me as well!" He glared down at me. "Or have you forgotten?"

"No, your grace," I said, and bowed my head. "I have never forgotten."

"Well then." He place a long, bony finger beneath my chin and tipped my head up, forcing me to meet his eyes. "It seems that you will have to chose which vow to honor. Do you understand that the consequences of your decision may be quite grave?"

I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry. "Yes, your grace, I realize this. I deeply regret having to disappoint you, but my mind is made up. The decision is final."

He dropped his hand and looked away. "Very well." A minute passed, probably the longest of my life. I stood completely still, bringing all my resources into holding my emotions in check. It was taking a great deal of effort to keep myself from walking out the door and hunting down my father.

When the Maester turned back to me, his anger had subsided. Now he looked sad and disappointed, but resolved. "Auron, you have been a fine officer and have served me well, but this level of insubordination may not go unpunished. By all rights, I ought to excommunicate you. But we cannot afford to lose your fighting skills, especially not now. Therefore, you leave me no choice but to strip you of your rank. You may serve as a warrior monk, but you will no longer be an officer. If you serve well, you may move back up the ranks, but you will never hold a rank higher than captain. This is my judgement before Yevon, and it will stand."

A knot of fury twisted and burned somewhere deep inside as I heard his words. Punishment I understood, but what had I done to deserve losing so much? The promotions I had worked so hard to earn, all hope of ever having a command... Did my dedication and skill count for nothing? The anger I had been saving for Dix suddenly turned against Brac as I removed my coat.

"Don't bother," I said coldly as I tossed the garment to the floor. "I resign my commission and renounce my vows. I am no longer a warrior monk."

The Maester's face registered surprise, then hardened into a mask as he nodded. "So be it, then."

I looked at him for a moment longer. How could I have ever cared for this man, almost to the point of considering him a second father? Then again, given how Dix had turned against me, perhaps it was appropriate. I made a move to leave, then was struck by a horrible thought.

"Is my father still here?" I asked.

"No. He left for Tzeki Village two days ago, to start his preparations. "

Tzeki. Home to Kera, and to Relle. To tell them "the good news."

"Please Yevon no!" I breathed. Every emotion I had been feeling, every bit of anger and disgust and disappointment, transformed into a blind panic. I had to beat him there. If he arrived first, and told Relle... It would destroy her, and then she would kill me. If there was anything left once Kera had finished.

All concern for my career fled, and then so did I.

"Auron, Auron, wait!"

I did not even pause as I strode down the Highbridge. There was no time to waste -- I had to get to Tzeki. In my haste, I had barely even stopped to pick up armor and weapons and to pack some food and water.

Footsteps pounded up behind me. A strong hand grabbed my shoulder and held on. I whirled around, angry at the interruption and ready to knock whoever it was away, but I saw Kal's face and hesitated.

"Maester... he told me... everything," he panted. "Talked to him... convinced him... not to accept your... resignation... please stay... we have to work this out!"

I shook my head and dropped the arm that had been poised to strike. "I have a pressing errand; it is as important as life or death to me. I must be on my way."

"Then go," he said, recovering his breath from the run, "but come back when you're done. I'll do what I can to smooth things over with the Maester. This could be good, actually; maybe he'll be more ready to talk when you return." He held out my captain's coat. "At least take this; it's a long cold walk to Tzeki."

My mind finally cleared enough to realize that he was right about the coat. I looked at him and took a moment to think. Perhaps he was correct about returning, as well. "All right. Thank you," I said as I took the clothing from him. I removed my cloak and sword, shrugged into the coat, then replaced the outer garment and the scabbard.

"I wish it hadn't come to this," Kal said.

"So do I, my friend. So do I." We clasped one another's forearms, and I looked him over. He had changed so much in the years I'd known him, growing from a lanky and energetic boy into a strong young officer who managed to be serious yet still cheerful, and I felt a rush of pride in him. "Thanks, for everything. And don't let this, or anything, stop you; you have a fine career ahead."

"As do you, if I have anything to say about it," he replied. "Safe travel, and good luck."

"Yevon be with you." I dropped my hands, then turned my back on Bevelle. I could feel Kal's eyes boring into me as I walked away.

Two weeks after the confrontation with Dix, Paine was eating dinner in her office when she heard a knock on the doorframe and looked up. "Hello, Maura," she said upon seeing the cadet standing there.

"Captain Paine?" Maura's response was tentative, an uncharacteristic tone for the normally bold young woman, and it caught Paine's attention. "I think Liss needs to see you."

"Is something wrong?" asked Paine, putting down her fork.

Maura shook her head. "She got a letter after class, and she's been in shock ever since. She won't show me, so I don't know what it says. But I'm worried that maybe something happened to her mother."

Paine almost knocked her chair over in her haste to stand. "She's in your quarters?" Maura nodded, and the two women took off in a run.

When they arrived, Maura pushed the door open carefully, and Paine followed. Liss sat on the floor next to her bunk, cross-legged, several sheets of paper in one hand, but she wasn't looking at them. She focused instead on her father's sword, which rested on the ground before her, and she stroked the flat of it, almost tenderly, with the fingers of her other hand.

"Liss?" Paine walked over to the girl and knelt down next to her. "What's wrong?"

"She told me," Liss replied in a choked whisper, not taking her eyes or hand from the blade. "And it's worse than I could have imagined. So much betrayal... no one's hands are clean." She turned her face to Paine, and her eyes were full of tears. "See for yourself."

Paine carefully took the letter, then sat with her back against the bed and began to read.