A/N: This chapter and the last were really hard to write. Especially 16; I had brought Auron to the Maester's door, and I knew what had to happen next (his story is catching up to canon, after all), but I had to force myself to actually type the words. We all know that the poor guy has a rough time ahead, but watching it happen while playing the game is very different from actively causing his suffering myself...

For Love

The next day dawned sunny and warm, perfect for the festival held every year to kick off the blitz season. Everyone was off duty for the occasion as well as for tomorrow's tournament. Liss didn't particularly feel like celebrating, but Maura dragged her out of the room anyway. "You've never seen Luca at tournament time, and you've just got to. And you don't want to miss Captain Paine's party, do you?" After much cajoling, Liss eventually agreed to check it out. As they headed to the Luca stairway, they ran into some friends: Sam, a tall redheaded boy from Kilika, and a petite Al Bhed named Kenna. Maura and Sam walked ahead, chatting about blitz and trading good-natured insults -- Maura had left the Goers to join the Defense Force but remained loyal to her former teammates, while Sam's father had played for the Beasts and still served as their coach. Liss hung back, and Kenna fell into step beside her.

"You're quiet," the Al Bhed girl commented after they had walked in silence for a few minutes. "Everything okay?"

"I suppose." Liss tugged on her small braid. "I got this letter from home-- my mother is fine," she said hastily as an expression of concern entered Kenna's spiraled green eyes. "It's not bad news, just some ugly details of my family history that I never knew before, and I'm not sure what to think about the whole thing."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not really." She'd had enough of that last night with Maura and Paine.

Kenna smiled. "In that case, we'll just have to distract you. There's lots to do in Luca today, so you're bound to find something that'll take your mind off it. C'mon." She took the taller girl's hand and started pulling her forward. Liss laughed despite herself, and they raced past Maura and Sam, running down the stairs and into town.

Later that evening, all of the new recruits gathered behind Paine and Baralai's house for their annual party. Many of their friends were there, too -- Tidus and Yuna with Jecha in tow; Rikku and Buddy, who had dragged Brother away from his work in New Home for the occasion; Gippal, Nhadala, and their two children; Wakka and his five-year-old son; and many other friends and comrades from their years with the Crusaders, the Gullwings, New Yevon, and the Defense Force. Even General Lucil dropped in briefly, taking a moment to introduce herself to each cadet.

Naturally, everyone who hadn't already done so wanted to meet Liss. They shared their memories of her father, if they had any, and then proclaimed their honor at the chance to know her. She was uncomfortable with this dynamic under the best of circumstances, and today she found the whole song and dance particularly exhausting. Before long, she escaped to gather up a plate of food, then settled on the ground, leaning against a tree. She took a bite and sighed with satisfaction -- Baralai had produced an excellent spread. As she ate, she took in the scene around her, mostly observing interactions of the many couples in attendance. Some of her fellow Defense Force recruits had already started making tentative moves towards hooking up, but she was more interested in watching the adults, especially those who had been married for years. Her parents had never had a chance at that sort of relationship, and she found herself wondering how people made it work. In particular, her gaze kept returning to Tidus and Yuna. Their romance was the stuff of legend, and yet here they were, calmly chatting with friends, exchanging brief, tender glances, and keeping their daughter out of trouble, just like any ordinary couple. Lost in thought, she was startled briefly when her host dropped down beside her.

"Enjoying yourself?" he asked.

She smiled at him. "Yes, thanks, Baralai. The food is great."

He nodded in satisfaction. "Most years, I have more time to prepare, but it took me forever to get away from Bevelle. I just got home early this morning, and I had to get myself immediately into the kitchen. So I'm glad it all came together. So what are you up to?"

"Just thinking," she replied.

"I imagine so," Baralai said, his voice sympathetic. "Paine told me about that letter from your mother." He followed Liss's eyes to the couple she had been observing. "Love isn't always like that, you know."

"Like what?"

"A grand, all-consuming passion," he said, "the kind that inspires songs and poems and epics. More often than not, it ends up either exploding or burning out, taking the lovers with it either way." He shook his head. "Tidus and Yuna got lucky."

Liss cast her gaze down to the ground. "And my parents didn't." A lump formed in her throat. "Sure, they loved each other, but I don't see that it ever brought them much happiness."

"Maybe, maybe not." Baralai cast her a sympathetic look. "Only one person, now, who can say for sure."

They sat in silence for a few more minutes, watching the young married couple. Paine walked up to Tidus, talking and smiling, then took Jecha from Yuna's arms and twirled her in the air. The small girl squealed with delight.

Liss glanced at Baralai. "What about you?" she asked. "How did you and Paine make the transition?"

"Hmm? Oh, no, it was never like that with us. We'd been friends for a long time, and eventually we just decided we wanted more." He leaned back, bracing himself on one arm. "Besides, she already had her grand passion, a long time ago."

Liss sat up straighter. "Really?" Paine had never said anything about this to her, but then she supposed that wasn't a surprise. In so many ways, she and her cousin were still just getting to know one another. "So it didn't work out?"

"You could say that." He stared into the distance, his mind clearly far away. "But that's her story to tell you, when she's ready."

"And you?" Liss knew that she shouldn't ask, but the question popped out of her mouth before she could stop it. "What happened to the great love of your life?"

He glanced at Liss, then plucked a blade of grass from the earth and twisted it around his fingers. Looking at his wife, he smiled slightly. "She married me."

Liss followed his gaze. Paine was sitting now, deep in conversation with Yuna and Rikku. She saw Baralai watching her, and smiled warmly at him.

"I see." Tentatively, Liss touched Baralai's shoulder. "Does it bother you?"

He lurched a little, as if pulling himself out of deep thoughts. "What, that Paine loved someone else before? No, not really. We all have pasts. She wouldn't be the woman I love without hers. She loves me now; I can't ask for more than that."

Liss nodded, and they fell quiet again, each lost in their private musings.

I marched. It had already been evening when I left, and sleep would have been impossible anyway, so I continued on through that night and the next. I would have preferred not to stop for food, either, but I knew that I couldn't keep up such a difficult pace without at least a little rest, so I took short breaks to eat and drink, fortifying myself for more hours of walking, and for the confrontation that I knew was coming. I drew on reserves I didn't even know I had, and the trip to Tzeki took me just over a day and a half. But I did not see Dix on the way, and I worried. I could only hope to have beaten him if he had stopped in Guadosalam.

It was mid-morning when I arrived. As I leapt off the shoopuf, unwilling to wait for the machina to carry me down, my only thought was to find Relle. Then a familiar figure walked toward me from the pavilion, and I was gripped by an overwhelming tide of disappointment. I was too late.

"Son!" Dix called out. He held out an arm to me; clearly, he had not picked up on my mood, which was becoming angrier by the second. "Why didn't you tell me the news? I was on business in Bevelle, and I had to find out from tavern gossip."

Tavern gossip? Had Kinoc talked? I filed this tidbit away for later -- there was no way to deal with that information now. "I didn't tell you because I didn't trust you!" I shouted as I pushed him away. "And you deserved that mistrust, more than I could ever have guessed. How could you do such a thing?"

His expression soured. "Because you wouldn't do it for yourself. So you turned the Maester down? Why?"

"You know why. Arelle--"

He drew himself up to his full height and glared, his lips narrowing nearly into invisibility, scorn in his eyes. "Arelle. I always knew that girl would ruin you. Marrying for love? What good does that do anyone? I married for love, and all it got me was a piddling business in the middle of nowhere and left a widower at 25 with two brats to raise alone. I was trying to save you from a dead-end life like mine, like your sister's. And I thought you understood your obligations."

"So you thought I'd just go along with your lie to the Maester?" I shook my head, disgusted. "You don't know me at all, Father, and you never have. Your plan had no chance of success. Zero. All you managed to do was destroy any hope I had of salvaging my career." I started to go.

"Don't you walk away from me, young man!" he snapped. "I'm not finished with you yet!"

I stopped, then slowly turned back to him. "But I am finished with you." Able to contain my rage at him no longer, I slammed my fist into his jaw, knocking him to the ground. He fell with a cry that was as much surprise as pain, but I had no more time to waste on him. I had to get to Relle.

Within minutes, I stood before her cottage. I had spoken to no one, as the village was largely empty -- the fishing trip had left for the day, and it was a cold morning, too chilly for children to play outside or for people to tend to outdoor chores. I took off my helm, then removed my sword and leaned it against the wall. As impatient as I'd been to get here, now I hesitated. I had no idea what kind of reception to expect, but I suspected it would not be pleasant. But I knew that I had to face her, now. I couldn't stand the idea that she might be sitting in there, believing the lie. I rapped on the door, and hearing no response, slowly pulled it open.

The front room was largely dark, only a single lamp burning on the table. A figure sat there, arms crossed on the table surface, a head resting on them. Relle looked up as I walked in, and I saw that her eyes were red and her skin a blotchy pink, presumably from weeping. My heart ached at the sight of her obvious misery. A sphere rested between her hands. Her expression turned from one of bereft suffering to a mask of murderous rage. She stood suddenly, picked up the sphere, and flung it at me. I barely had time to duck as it smashed into the doorframe, hitting where my shoulder had been. It cracked with the impact and fell to the ground in several pieces. I looked down at the fragments and swallowed, hard. There was no way to know for sure now what had been recorded on that sphere, but I had a good guess.

"No other will ever be your wife," she said, her voice flat and cold. I shuddered inwardly -- Relle used that tone rarely, but when she did it meant trouble.

I looked back at her and held up my hands. "It's not true, Relle. I can explain--"

"Please do." She folded her arms across her chest. "What's not true? Were you not offered the high priest's daughter in marriage?"

"The offer was made," I admitted, "but I refused it. Dix lied to you, and he lied to the Maester. I'm not marrying Lorayn. I never even considered it." A white lie, but a necessary one, and close enough to the truth. I took a tentative step in her direction, but the look on her face kept me from taking another. "But I am sorry that you had to go through all this."

She remained immobile. "Sorry isn't going to be good enough this time, Auron."

"Then what would be good enough?" I asked, trying to keep frustration out of my voice. "Turning down the chance to be High Commander and resigning my commission? Because I did that, too." I took a deep breath and stepped away. None of this was her fault; taking my anger at Dix and Brac out on her would not do at all. But it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep control of my temper.

Her eyes narrowed slightly. "You are serious?"

I nodded, then told her briefly about my confrontation with the Maester. She was silent for a long moment, in apparent contemplation. The moment stretched into minutes, but she made no move toward me, or away, and she would not meet my eyes.

Finally I cleared my throat. "You're upset," I said, "and I don't blame you. Maybe I should just leave you alone for a little while." I took yet another step backwards and reached for the door handle.

Her head snapped up, and she crossed the room in a few steps, her fingers closing on my arm. "No!" Her voice broke with desperation and despair, finally betraying the depth of her feelings. "Don't you dare leave me again!" She grabbed my coat lapel with her other hand and yanked hard, bringing our faces together and capturing my mouth with hers.

My response was immediate: I returned the kiss, years of longing taking over as I clasped her shoulders, then ran my hands firmly down her back.

"I claim you!" she said, her lips moving against mine as she spoke, unfastening my cloak with deft fingers. I felt it slide from my shoulders to the floor as her hands moved to the buttons of my coat. "You will love only me, there will never be anyone besides me!"

"Never," I responded, pulling back just enough to look in her eyes, needing to show her the truth of my words. I brushed her tear-stained cheek with my fingers and stroked her mussed hair. "Never, I swear it! I love you, always you. Always, always, always--"

She kissed me again, hard and punishing and possessive, a hand gripping the back of my neck, her passion born as much from anger as from desire. Still, I was unable not to respond -- her touch was intoxicating, and I was already drunk on it, as incapacitated as I would have been by a full bottle of sake. This is a bad idea, said a stern voice in the back of my head. Probably so, but I was past caring. The barriers of control I had built so carefully were smashed beyond repair. She was pulling me to the floor, and I tumbled down with her, the point of no return left far behind me.

It was some time before I had another conscious thought.

Slowly, I returned to myself. I may have fallen asleep briefly -- not unexpected, given that I hadn't slept for going on three days. I was lying on my side, half dressed. Somehow we had managed to get my coat and armor off in the heat of the moment, but I still wore my boots. Relle rested on her back next to me, hands laced behind her head, and stared at the ceiling, motionless. I scooted closer and laid my head on a crooked arm, nuzzling her hair with my nose and forehead, breathing in her scent and luxuriating in the freedom to finally touch her again. She did not respond, so I raised myself up on an elbow and bent to kiss her.

She turned her head away, then rolled over and sat up.

"Relle?" I asked softly. "What is it?"

She looked at the floor. "I think you should go."

"But you just asked me to stay." I lifted my body into a sitting position and rested a hand on her knee.

Flinching from my touch, she stood and straightened her skirts, then turned from me. "I changed my mind."

Now I was bewildered. "But why?" I stood up and started to dress, pulling on my pants, then reaching for my breastplate.

Relle took a deep breath. "Because I'm still so angry at you that I can't see straight. Maybe that's not fair, but it's how I feel."

"But it's not my fault!" I clenched my jaw to keep from shouting. It wasn't hers, either. Why did I need to keep reminding myself of that?

"Oh please! Don't pretend you're blameless in this!" She rested her hands on her hips and cocked her head. "You were the one trying to have it all, the one who let the Maester believe that you might marry his granddaughter when you never had any intention of doing so. Tell me truly: when he made the offer, did you refuse him right away, or did you pretend you needed to think about it in order to stall?"

I froze, caught by the truth of her words. Of course she was right; I had played a part in this disaster, and I was avoiding responsibility by focusing on Dix's treachery. Maybe he had taken cruel advantage of an opportunity, but I had created the opportunity in the first place. She saw the understanding on my face and nodded grimly. "I thought so."

"Please," I whispered. "Please. Let me try and make this right again."

"No!" Her voice rose, and cracked with more anguish than I'd ever heard in a single syllable. She lowered her head again. "The last time I saw you, I asked you to stay, and you refused. Now I am asking you to leave. Will you refuse me again? It's your choice, but be warned: I don't know that I'll be inclined to give you a third opportunity to deny me."

I knew, then, that I had lost. All feeling drained away, leaving only emptiness, almost a physical ache in my gut. "I will do as you ask," I murmured. I walked slowly to the door, gathering up my coat and cloak from where they lay on the floor. "Goodbye," I said as I reached for the handle.

"Auron?"

I paused, and turned around, trying not to hope that she would call me over. Her beauty was undiminished, even in this terrible moment, and my breath caught in my throat.

"This isn't... it probably won't be forever," she said, tear-filled eyes meeting mine. "I can't live without you, you know that. I just need some time."

"How much time?" I asked, barely able to choke the words out.

She shook her head, a single drop falling down her cheek. "I don't know. A while."

I nodded silently, then pushed my way out through the door and into the bitter cold.