Interlude: Death

Blair had been confused at first, when he'd realized what had happened. He was dead, but he wasn't. He had expected a tunnel with a bright light at the end of it, or at least a continuation of the jungle vision he'd had, where he was the wolf, and Jim's panther had tried to save him. But instead he was here, wandering around Cascade without a body.

He'd tried looking in a mirror, but found he didn't have a reflection. He'd tried slipping into a meditative state where he could see himself, but that didn't work, either, since one had to have a body in order to have an out-of-body experience. In the end, he'd decided it really didn't matter what he looked like, since no one could see him, anyway.

He stayed in Cascade. He watched the spirit who had taken over his body, and marveled at how well it was able to imitate him. No wonder none of his friends noticed a difference.

The spirit spoke to him all the time, though rarely out loud, since it knew it was living with a Sentinel. Rather, he could hear the thoughts it directed toward him and, judging from the way it conversed with him, it could hear his responses. At first, he had worried that it would cause harm to his friends, but it assured him that it was only there to observe. As time went on, it expressed its frustration with the way Blair was treated by Jim, Simon and many of the members of the Cascade PD. It seemed to take Simon's gruff nature and Jim's inability to say exactly what he meant much too personally. Blair had always known that they cared for and appreciated him, but the spirit refused to accept that knowledge. It wanted to hear them say the words, and when that didn't happen, it just got angrier and angrier.

After Sweet Roy was killed, it had lost its temper, yelling at both men in the captain's office. Simon had taken it aside and reaffirmed its worth, which seemed to mollify it for the time being, but its satisfaction was short-lived. The anger never dissipated. Blair could only watch, dismayed, as it became more and more unstable.

Despite the slow buildup and the obvious warning signs, the final blowup shocked him. He had never imagined the power it had at its fingertips. And to think that some of that power was his own! He had noticed long before that he didn't have any emotions while in this state, but he did remember what it had been like. Based on his recollections, he imagined he should feel quite sorry for his friends, especially Jim, who looked awfully shell-shocked by the revelations. He hovered protectively over the Sentinel, pleading with the spirit to have mercy. It must have heard and understood, because its rage diminished somewhat and it offered a deal.

Blair decided that it was a fair bargain, all-in-all. He hadn't really considered going back to his old life. He'd made the decision to move on, way back when he'd first died, and it was only his healthy body that was keeping him here. Maybe, if it turned out that Jim really needed him, he'd go back. Otherwise, he could let things lie. The spirit wasn't really causing any harm... It was pretty nice, actually, for a demon.

It smiled when it heard that thought, and told him with a small amount of wonder that Blair himself had initiated that change. Before its association with him, it might have simply gone on a killing spree, had it found itself in this situation. It assured him that it would refrain from any acts of cruelty while it inhabited this world and his body, and with that promise fortifying him, Blair stayed in Cascade while the spirit took his body and settled in San Francisco.

The "Blair Appreciation Campaign," as Henri Brown called it, began immediately after everyone got over their shock. It turned out that no one remembered what had happened except for the people who had been trapped inside the room. As a matter of fact, according to the rest of the world, no time had passed at all. For them, it was as if the incident had never occurred, but Blair knew that for Jim and the other members of Major Crimes, it would remain forever etched in their memory.

He watched, amazed, as each of his friends expressed their feelings in different ways.

Simon didn't verbalize anything, but worked through action instead. First, so that there would be no trouble over Blair's absence, he told the university officials and the Chief of Police that Blair had been called away for a family emergency. He then requested a meeting with the mayor, the commissioner, and the chief to have him hired permanently as a part-time consultant to the department. He cited Blair's experience and intelligence, as well as the Major Crimes Department's fabulous arrest record since his arrival, as evidence that his presence was beneficial to everyone. He continued to push until the motion was approved

Megan Connor started a journal and addressed each entry to Blair. Among her everyday observations and frustrations, she told him how much she missed him, and how she had always admired him for his intelligence, his kindness and his tenacity. Each tear-stain on the pages of the book was for him.

Henri Brown and Brian Rafe just talked--mostly to each other. On stakeouts and in the office, they told "funny Blair stories" and spoke with awe about his intellect and other talents. Brown started a contest and an office pool to find the person with the craziest anecdote. He won, but everyone agreed that it had been a fair race.

Joel Taggart prayed for him regularly. He also spoke to him sometimes, wondering when he was "coming home," and asking him to forgive them all for the way they had treated him. Blair told Joel there was nothing to forgive, even though he knew the older man couldn't hear him.

Finally, there was Jim. Blair stayed with him the most; he just couldn't seem to keep away. Jim's greatest tribute was in what he didn't do. He didn't eat, he didn't sleep, he didn't speak unless spoken to. Predictably, he lost his heightened senses, and his case record started to slide. His friends saw this and attempted to help, but there was really only one person who could.

Blair watched all of this, somewhat awed by their actions. After just under two months had gone by, he made his decision.