Mall Adventure

"What the hell is wrong with my dad?" Stephanie asked.

"I thought you'd know by now," Chris said. "Vince McMahon is a sick and twisted man..."

"Hell-bent on torturing me by making me shop with you," she finished.

"Remember what happened the last time we went shopping?" he asked with a wink. "You know, in Publix?"

"Yeah, you put my thong on display," she said, punching him on the arm. "I still haven't forgotten that. I will get my revenge."

"You've been promising revenge forever," he said in an exasperated voice as they reached the upper level of the mall and got off the escalator. "When are you gonna hit me with your best shot?"

"When you least expect it," she said. She looked up and spotted her second favorite store. "Oh Chris, come on!" she exclaimed, grabbing his hand and leading him to the store.

He saw where they were headed. "Oh no," he said, shaking his head. "I refuse to go in there." He stopped walking and stood perfectly still.

"Pleeeease..."

"Stephanie. No."

She had to switch tactics. She pressed herself against him, looking up into his blue eyes. "I'll make it worth your while," she whispered. She kissed him softly and watched his resolve melt away.

"Yeah, ok," he said, knowing that she had him totally whipped.

"Thanks," she said, heading into Victoria's Secret. "And if you're lucky, I'll model some underwear for you..."

He followed her around closely while she checked out different types of underwear. Eventually she started asking his opinion on her choices.

"Too frilly," he said when she held up a frilly pink thong. "Put it back."

"What about this?" she asked, holding up a basic black thong.

"Too plain," he decided. "How about that?"

She picked up the underwear he was pointing at. "Chris, these have no seat," she said incredulously.

"Duh. Easier access for me," he pointed out.

"I'm not getting them," she said, putting them down.

"Stephanie. Please." He looked at her with puppy dog eyes and his bottom lip quivered.

She gave in immediately. "You're lucky you're so sexy, Chris," she said.

"I know," he said, smiling. "You can't resist this body, this boyish yet sexy grin, these intense eyes, my huge-"

"In the dressing room," she ordered, grabbing his hand and practically running there. "Now."

"Wow, you're kind of aggressive," he said when she pushed him roughly against the wall in the dressing room.

"I know," she said, before kissing him hungrily until they were both breathless. She pulled back and caught her breath. "More later, ok?" Then she walked out, leaving him looking lustfully after her.

"Where to now, Princess?" Chris asked a short while later as they walked around on the second floor.

"Your choice," Steph replied, swinging her Victoria's Secret bag back and forth.

"Then it's off to Spencer's," he said, excited. "It's a playground for kinky freaks like me."

"Oh goody!" she said happily. That was her absolute favorite place in the mall. She decided that this...this was where she was going to get payback for the little stunt Chris had pulled in Publix."

They walked into Spencer's. It was dark and crowded as usual. In the back, neon lights flashed off and on. Some fast music played over the speakers. And of course, there were "kinky freaks" all over the place.

"Now you'd look great in this," Chris said, holding up a shirt in front of her. "See what it says?"

"Turn it around," she directed.

He turned the shirt around and read what it said to her aloud. "I need a hedge clipper to cut my bush!" There was a picture of a bush with hedge clippers coming close to it. "Now Princess, if you don't understand what that means..."

"I understand just fine!" she snapped, punching him in the arm just like she had previously done on the escalator. She walked over to the cards and started looking through them, trying to find one for him.

He hung the shirt back on the rack, laughing. "Hey, don't get all offended," he said with a laugh as he approached her. "I never said it applied to you. I just said you'd look great in it."

"Oh, I'm not offended," she said, smiling sweetly at him. "As a matter of fact, I'm so not offended that I've found the perfect card for you. Here." She handed him the card.

To her surprise, he handed her a card as well. "See, I'm thoughtful, too," he said. "Now we'll both open them on the count of three... One..."

"Two..." Her voice trailed off as she wondered what would pop out at her face when she opened the card.

"Three!" they both said together, and opened the cards.

Stephanie wasn't very surprised when she opened her card and a hairy bush popped out at her. "Can't find the hole?" she read aloud.

Chris nearly jumped out of his skin as a huge penis popped out in his face and grazed his lips. Of course it was just a cardboard cutout but still...it was a penis! He wiped his mouth, spat, and coughed as he read what the card said. "Big enough for ya?" He glared at Stephanie as she laughed.

"Wow, Chris, did you like it?" she asked.

"Ha, ha, you're so funny," he said dryly. He put the card back on the rack, still glaring at her. Then he saw something that caught his eye. "Oooh, come over here!" He didn't wait for her to say yes or no. He just grabbed her hand and forced her to follow him.

She followed willingly when she saw where they were headed. It was an underwear display. There were lots of different types of underwear, hilarious underwear, for men and women. She quickly decided that this was how she was going to get her payback and exact her revenge!

"Now when we were in Victoria's Secret, I let you pick out some underwear for me," she said slyly, rubbing his muscular arm. "How about I return the favor?"

He looked at the display before him and wrinkled his nose. "I dunno about that. None of these are really my type," he said. "I wouldn't wear any of these."

She looked at him with pleading puppy dog eyes, the same puppy dog eyes he had used on her earlier in Victoria's Secret. Her bottom lip quivered just as his had once done. He looked at her and knew in his heart that he would never be able to tell her no if she gave him that look.

"Ok, ok," he said. "Go ahead and pick something out for me... But you're paying for it."

"Not a problem," she said. She looked around the rack carefully, checking out every pair of underwear there. Finally, she found a pair that she liked a lot. "Yes!"

"What? You found some? Finally?" he asked. She nodded, hands behind her back, hiding the underwear. "I thought if you didn't find one pair by the end of this hour, I was going to just stand here and go to sleep in the vertical position."

"Vertical position? You mean standing up?" she wondered.

"Yeah, standing up," he said. "That's a convenient position..." he added suggestively. "Against a wall, in a dark place where kinky freaks are free to roam..."

"Let's find the storeroom," she suggested quickly. She clutched the underwear she'd picked out for him in one hand while grabbing his hand with the other.

He followed her willingly, right on her heels. "Damn, Princess, you're mighty horny today," he commented five minutes later as she pushed him against the wall in the storeroom and kissed him just as aggressively as she had kissed him before in the Victoria's Secret dressing room.

"It's you, Chris... You make me this way..." And then she silenced him with a kiss that literally took his breath away...

About an hour later, they were putting their clothes back on when he noticed that he couldn't find his underwear.

"Where's my underwear?" he asked, looking around.

She shrugged. "Gotta be around here somewhere," she said, gesturing around the room. "But there's so much junk... Why don't you just put on the ones I picked out for you?"

"I guess..." He grudgingly slipped on the tight, hot pink boxers that were sure to hug him much too tightly for comfort. On the front, there was a place for him to insert his...private part...and on the back, it said: Frisky! "Where... Why would you pick these?" he asked, struggling to make it fit in the tight little tube.

"To torture you," she answered honestly, knowing that it was much too big to fight in that tube.

Finally, he got the underwear on, then looked around in disbelief. "I can't believe this... Where are my pants?"

"I have no clue," she said again, smiling as he looked around for them. "But I'll tell you what. I'll go buy you a new pair. What size do you wear?"

He told her what size to get him, then started searching around the storeroom for his pants and his underwear...

Stephanie walked out of the storeroom clutching Chris's pants and his underwear under her arm. She wondered why he hadn't noticed her holding them. He'd looked everywhere for them except for right in front of his face! She headed directly over to the cashier and said, "Hey, there's a guy back in your storeroom wearing just his shirt and his underwear. I just thought you should know..."

"Thanks, ma'am. We'll see that he's thrown out immediately," the cashier said.

Stephanie smiled. "Good." Then she quickly left the store, knowing that she only had a few minutes to do what she planned to do...

When she returned five minutes later, Chris was standing outside the store, wearing his shirt, the underwear that she'd picked out for him, and his shoes. And that was it. He looked furious.

"That assclown of a cashier kicked me out!" Chris exclaimed when she approached him. "Like I was going to steal something. I could buy the whole damn store if I wanted to!" He looked at her with a questioning look on his face. "And where are the pants?"

"I don't have them," she said simply. "Maybe we should try to just get out of here while looking as discreet as possible."

"Stephanie. Do you not see what I'm wearing?" he asked impatiently. "I can't walk around in public like this!"

"I see what you're wearing, and I think it's cute," she said. "Now, if you were a real man, you wouldn't think twice about walking through the mall in your underwear. You'd just do it."

"You doubt that I'm a man?" he asked evenly.

"Well..." She knew that would get to him and work his nerves. It would have that effect on any man.

"Come on, let's get outta here."

"Let's walk by the fountain," she said suddenly as they rode the escalator down to the main floor. "I wanna make a wish."

"Why not?" he asked. People were already staring, pointing, and laughing. A stop by the big fountain wouldn't make any difference for him.

They got off the escalator and walked over to the fountain, where a crowd of talking people were gathered, looking up at something. He looked up to the top of the fountain as well... And that's when he noticed something familiar.

"My boxers!" he exclaimed. "And my pants! How the hell did they get on top of the fountain?"

"Must I really answer that?" she asked with a laugh. "Because I have a feeling you already know that I did that."

"B-but why?" he asked, pouting.

"Payback for your Publix stunt. Did you think I'd forget?" she asked sweetly. He looked appalled. "Revenge is so sweet. I'll meet you in the car... I'm sure you want to gather up your belongings."

He watched her walk away laughing and he couldn't help but smile, too. She was evil and he loved...liked...her for it. He had to admit, she had gotten him good. He wasn't going to hate her for playing a trick on him, but he was going to get her back for this. It was embarrassing! He decided to head out to the car behind her, but first he had to climb to the top of the fountain to get his stuff.

"Excuse me, King of the World coming through. Pardon me, excuse me..." He worked his way through the thick crowd of people, then hopped into the icy cold water and waded to the middle where the stone statue stood. He climbed up to the top, then grabbed his shorts and boxers. "Yep, these are mine," he said. He even posed as people pulled out their camera phones and snapped pictures of him. Then he climbed back down.

Once out of the water, he slipped his boxers on over the pink underwear Stephanie had bought him. The pants came next, then the shoes. Then he smiled at the crowd, posed for more pictures, and headed out of the mall, already concocting a new plan to get his revenge on Stephanie...