Rocking Beds In Bedrock

A/N: Weird, kind of confusing chapter... But read it anyway! LOL!

"Your father is the spawn of Satan," Chris stated matter-of-factly. "He's a devilish assclown. He's a demon in disguise!"

"As if I didn't know that already," Stephanie groaned. "He's always been that way."

"But I have to admit, despite the fact that he's evil, he's quite a genius," he went on. "I mean, how does he always manage to get us in this position?"

"And what position would that be?" she asked innocently.

"You know, these situations where we're always together and alone with the opportunity to do the most unconventional stuff," he answered.

"Oh, that position," she said, biting her lip.

"Speaking of positions, Princess, I still haven't been able to determine which one is your favorite one. On your back, on top, against a wall..." He smirked at her as he counted off all the positions they'd managed to do it in over the past few months.

She glared at him for just an instant as he leaned against the wall near the door they would be entering very soon, but then she smiled sweetly at him. "I love them all, Chris, as long as I'm in them with you."

His mouth dropped. He had not been expecting that!

She smiled and patted him on the cheek. "The King of the World. Mr. Larger Than Life... Speechless?" She laughed. "God can take me now. I've accomplished what no other human being ever has... I made Y2J shut the hell up!"

"I don't think so," he said, quickly recovering from his momentary loss of words. "You know, sometimes I think-"

"Well there my two celebrity endorsers are!" Vince McMahon said, walking up to the two of them. "Are you ready to go in there and make me proud?"

"Do we have a choice?" Stephanie quipped.

"Most definitely not," Vince answered, smiling smugly. "But if you did have a choice, I'm quite positive you'd do this anyway."

"And how do you know that, Junior?" Chris piped up.

"I know things," Vince said mysteriously. He smiled as he began to walk away. "Now make the WWE look good, ok? Or there will be hell to pay." How he could make a threat while smiling was beyond him, but he was glad that he could. It always worked. It was a very effective method of business.

Chris and Stephanie watched Vince walk away with identical looks of admiration on their faces. True, he put them through so much hell, but they had to admire the fact that he could torture them with a smile on his face.

"So, you kids ready?" came a voice from behind them. They both jumped a little, surprised, then turned around to see where the voice came from. It was the owner of the new chain of furniture stores that had recently opened, called Twizted Dezignz. The man's name was Fred Fitzgerald, but for some odd reason, he liked to be called F-Squared.

"What exactly are we doing again?" Stephanie asked.

"Ok, here's the skinny. Twizted Dezignz is unveiling a brand new bedroom theme today," F-Squared said. "Would either of you like to take a guess and tell me what theme you think it might be?"

"Look, Junior, we're not kids, and we don't want to play the guessing game," Chris said. "So why don't you just tell us what we have to do and let us get to it, ok?"

"Touchy, touchy," F-Squared admonished.

"Yes, he is," Stephanie agreed, eyes running over Chris's body. "He's just begging for a little spanking, wouldn't you say?"

"If you say so. But back to the assignment," F-Squared said. "The new bedroom theme we're unveiling is based on the cartoon The Flintstones, and it's called Bedrock."

"Bedrock?" both Chris and Stephanie repeated.

"Bedrock," F-Squared confirmed, smiling and nodding his head. "Ironic, isn't it? Our new slogan for this room is 'Rocking beds in Bedrock' and we think it's a pretty catchy slogan."

"Yeah, for horny guys like him," Stephanie snickered, gesturing at Chris.

"And for filthy, dirty, disgusting, brutal, skanky, bottom-feeding trashbag hooooes like her," Chris scoffed, pointing at Stephanie.

"You take that back!" Stephanie spat. "Or I'll-"

"Or you'll what, Princess?" Chris taunted. "Raise your hand up to slap me while knowing the whole time that I'll catch your hand, pull you close, and kiss your pretty little lips into submission?" He grinned at her. "And then you'll kiss me back and we'll end up in some dark and obscure corner banging each other's brains out."

Stephanie's mouth dropped open as he said all of that. She glanced at F-Squared, blushing profusely, then looked back at Chris with her mouth still agape.

"Open wide, Princess," Chris teased. "Oh, wait, your mouth's already open. Duh me." At this point, she was absolutely speechless, so he decided to take a recently-used page out of her book. "God can take me now. I've accomplished what no other human being ever has... I made the Princess shut the hell up! Or... Wait a minute. I made her open up... No wait, I can always get her to do that..."

"Um... Er, F-Squared, could you finish telling us what we're needed for, please?" Stephanie asked, finally finding her voice. She glared daggers at Chris and he put his hand over his heart and gasped silently, mouthing, "Oh, you've pierced my heart with your daggers of animosity!" She rolled her eyes at him and he smirked.

"Ok, so here's everything in a nutshell. You two will be staying in this room for one whole night. This room is basically a display window of sorts, and one full wall of the room will be a very durable type of glass that will allow people from the general public to witness your interaction together in the Bedrock environment," F-Squared said in a rushed voice. The interaction so far between Chris and Stephanie, in his opinion, had been quite intimate, so he felt uncomfortable and out of place around them. He continued in that same rushed voice. "Video cameras will film all your activity. We want this idea to sell, and with you two in there promoting it, we're positive it'll be another big hit from Twizted Dezignz. Any questions?"

"None. Let's just get this over with," Stephanie said.

"Is that what you say to all your customers?" Chris asked innocently.

"Nope," she replied. "Only you."

"Yeah, I'll bet," he muttered. "But that's not all you say to me, babe."

"Ok then, that's T.M.I... Too much information," F-Squared said. He gestured towards the door they had been standing outside of the whole time, and looked at them. "Go on. Your destiny awaits."

Stephanie cautiously opened the door to Bedrock and stepped inside. Chris followed, one step behind. They both looked around at the place where they would be spending the night together. In short, it was a pretty well-decorated room. It had all the furniture a regular bedroom would have while still managing to resemble the furniture on The Flintstones. The only weird thing that kind of stood out was the mannequin standing near the window. It was a female mannequin, but why was there a mannequin in the room anyway? Chris made a mental note to make use of the mannequin later. After all, he was still plotting his revenge for the little stunt Stephanie had pulled the last time they'd gone shopping at the mall...

"So what do you think?" F-Squared asked.

"Not too shabby," Stephanie commented.

"Yeah, it's pretty nice, considering the fact that it's from the Stone Age," Chris teased. He looked at Stephanie. "I have an idea. How about you be Wilma and I be Fred?"

"I have an even better idea. How about you be Barney Rubble?" she suggested. "You guys are very similar, after all."

"How so? I have muscles and longer hair, and overall I'm just a sexy beast," he pointed out.

She eyed him critically. "True," she said finally. "But you're similar to Barney because, well, you're both the same height." She smiled big at the look on his face. "Burn!" she exclaimed triumphantly.

"I'll just be leaving you two now," F-Squared said, feeling like he was once again caught in one of their intimate moments. He felt like an intruder, an outsider looking in, as did most people when they were around those two. Neither of them noticed when he slipped quietly out of the room, locking them inside together at the process.

"Oh, I'll show you a burn before this night is over, Stephanie," Chris said, saying her full first name. Whenever he did that, he meant business.

"Really, Christopher? A burn?" Stephanie taunted. "You mean you have an STD?"

"Nope. You're gonna get a carpet burn on that perfect little back of yours when I take you on the floor," he said, grinning at her.

"Whatever," she said, rolling her eyes. Lord, the images that gave her in her head!

He looked around and noticed for the first time that F-Squared was no longer in the room. "Well," he said. "I guess it's just me and you..."

"And all those people outside the window," she reminded him. pointing at said window, which currently had curtains drawn over it. "But, of course, those people won't be seeing us for a few more minutes."

"What do you suggest we do to pass the time?" he asked slyly, licking his lips and stepping up close to her.

"I suggest that we..." She angled her head and leaned in closer to him, until her lips were an inch away. "I suggest that we get you out of this hideous outfit you're wearing."

"Hey! My outfit is not hideous," he protested, looking down at himself. "I look hot and you know it."

"Right. You're a hot mess," she agreed, stepping away from him and laughing. She walked over to the wardrobe and opened it. She wasn't very surprised to find some clothes in there that looked just like they came from The Flintstones. "I guess this room was made with Fred and Wilma in mind," she said as she looked through the wardrobe.

"So you should be Wilma and let me be Fred, just like I said the first time," he said, walking over to the wardrobe and standing next to her.

"But Fred and Wilma are married," she said. "We can't be them..."

"We can be husband and wife for one night," he said seriously, looking at her intently. "We can be them."

"Ok. So I'm your wife...for tonight," she said softly, looking shyly at him.

"And I'm your husband," he said, conveniently leaving out the "for tonight" part.

They stared at each other for a few minutes, neither of them moving or talking, until suddenly the door opened. They both turned to look over at the door, and it was F-Squared. "Ok, guys, I suggest that you change your clothes now if you plan on changing them, because the curtains will be opened in approximately five minutes," he said. "And for your information, there's a bathroom over there near the corner and there aren't any video cameras in there. Also, if you need to contact us for any reason, just hit the red button over there." He pointed at a red button on the wall next to the bathroom door.

"Thanks for the info... Now can you leave so my wife and I can get dressed?" Chris asked.

"Your wife?" F-Squared asked, confused. "But I thought-"

"Well you thought wrong, Junior. Now, excuse yourself," Chris said, telling the man in not-so-many words to get out. The man took the hint and left.

"Chris! You're so mean!" Stephanie said, grabbing a white dress from the wardrobe. Wilma Flintstone always wore a white dress and some pearls, so she had decided that she would, too.

"The name is Fred. Fred Flintstone," Chris joked, grabbing his attire for the night from the wardrobe. He eyed his outfit and frowned. "Ok, is this a dress or something?" he asked.

"Just shut up and put it on."

"Is that any way to talk to your husband?"

They looked at each other, and she rolled her eyes. They both stripped quickly and put on their clothes, and then it was time for the curtains to be pulled back.

"So... What position do you want the people to find us in?" he asked.

"None," she answered, sitting gingerly on the edge of the bed. "I mean, we might be pretending to be a married couple, but we're not."

"Tonight we are," he said, getting serious again. "Tonight I'm yours and you're mine...and we're going to be rocking beds in Bedrock, just like their slogan says..."

Before she had the chance to reply, the curtains went back, revealing them to the crowd waiting outside. It was obvious, just by looking at the signs the people were holding, that these were a mixture of wrestling fans and Fozzy fans. They were all yelling their heads off, and Chris and Stephanie were both extremely happy that the window was soundproof. They walked over to the window and waved at the fans, who waved eagerly back.

"So what are we supposed to do now?" Stephanie asked, looking first at the fans outside the window, then at her husband for the night.

"I think we're supposed to kiss now," Chris teased, grinning impishly at her.

"No, really," she said. "We want these people to purchase this furniture. How do we promote it?"

"We christen the bed," he said simply.

"You just wanna get laid," she accused him.

"And what's so wrong with that?" he asked innocently.

"We're being watched and taped, or have you forgotten?" she reminded him.

"So? We were being watched and taped in The Rhyming Cell, too," he countered. "Or have you forgotten?"

"Oh, shut up, Fred," she sighed, sitting back down on the edge of the bed again.

"Fine, Wilma," he said, sitting down on the edge of the bed next to her and sighing, also. "Anything to satisfy my beautiful wife."

They sat on the edge of the bed next to each other, not saying a single word. The room was silent, and the fans stood outside the window watching them, wondering when they were going to start arguing and trading their usual verbal insults. That time never came. They just sat there, not moving, just staring off into space. And then suddenly the silence was just too much.

"Hey, Fred?"

"Hmmm?"

"Go hit that red button."

"What for?"

"Just do it."

"Fine."

Chris stood up and went over to the wall by the bathroom. He hit the red button, and immediately a voice they recognized as F-Squared came on over an intercom they never even knew existed. "Are we having problems?" he asked.

"We would like for you to close the curtains for the night," Stephanie requested. Chris looked at her with raised eyebrows, wondering why she was requesting that they close the curtains for the night. She had certainly not mentioned those intentions to him.

"That wasn't part of the endorsement deal," F-Squared protested.

"Unless you want to get in trouble for showing some very hot action to the public, you better close these curtains and turn off the cameras," Stephanie said calmly, standing up and pulling down the strap to her dress. Chris just looked on in wonder, now forming some semblance of an idea as to what she had planned.

"Fine," F-Squared said, giving in. "But in a couple of hours, we're going to need to reopen those curtains."

"That's fine," Stephanie said. "But for now we need them closed."

The curtains closed right away, and Chris walked over to Stephanie. "Now just what do you think you're doing?" he asked, raising his eyebrow.

"What does it look like?" she asked, taking the dress off and letting it fall to her feet.

"Looks like Wilma's feeling a little horny," he said, grinning at her. "But you know what?" he went on, stepping closer to her.

"What?"

"Fred's feeling kind of horny, too...

In seconds, they were over on the bed. It was always like that for them, always joking and teasing with each other until they both reached their breaking points. It was all in good fun, really...

She looked up at him as he hovered over her in the bed a few short minutes later. "Don't call me Wilma tonight," she whispered. "I'm Stephanie...and I'm yours."

"I'm yours, too," he whispered back, no traces of playfulness in his voice. "And I think you already know I'm not Fred." The atmosphere had changed just like that...

About an hour later after they had finished rocking beds in Bedrock, she drifted off to sleep in his arms. He carefully got up, trying his hardest not to wake her up. He didn't. He tiptoed around the room, gathering up Stephanie's undergarments from where she'd discarded them on the floor in her frenzy to get undressed. Then he headed straight for that mannequin he'd spotted when they'd first entered the room... Yep, the fans were going to see her underwear and there wasn't going to be a thing she could do about it...

He slipped back into bed and got back in the same position he'd been in before, with her wrapped in his arms. Well, this is comfortable, he thought to himself. He took one last look at the sleeping woman beside him, then closed his eyes and attempted to go to sleep...

15 Minutes Later

"Chris." Stephanie shook his arm lightly, trying to wake him up. She had something on her mind. She'd had this on her mind for months, and she had to say something about it before it killed her. "Chris."

"Hmmm?" Chris answered, opening his eyes. He hadn't been sleep; he'd been close but not exactly all the way there. "Something wrong?"

"Nothing, everything's perfect," she said slowly. "I just want to tell you something."

"I was great tonight? Thanks, you were, too," he joked, yawning.

"No, not that. I mean, you were, but not that," she said in a serious voice.

"Ok, you sound really serious... What is it?" he asked curiously.

It was now or never. She had to say it, and if he didn't feel the same way then in the morning when they woke up, she would say it was just the sleep talking... "Chris, I love you."

WHAT? his mind screamed. She LOVED him? She LOVED him! What was he supposed to say? He couldn't just lie to her, and he had to say something, right? So he spoke the truth, surprising even himself. "Steph... I love you, too."

"I know," she whispered, closing her eyes.

He pulled her closer to him and closed his eyes, too.

They both fell asleep...

A/N: Ok, this chapter started off the way that I wanted it to, with the usual insults and whatnot. The ending? Totally not what I had planned, but I figured they had to confess sooner or later. I think I lost my touch for this story. The previous chapters were funnier, I think... Writer's block sucks! Please review, and don't be afraid to tell me how much this chapter sucked!