Disclaimer: again me no owning Holes book. Tell me if you think I'm going crazy.

NO

Not Mary, heaven forbid Mary dies//My arse but hey…\\ The bus crashed into everyone not in tent D but they can be replaced. Everyone except Mr. Sir because he is important…ok…was hit.

Mary was about to break her neck when Armpit appeared out of nowhere! Yes Armpit dematerialized. She bounced of Armpits big, Big, BIG belly and landed in Squid's arms. Her fiery emerald eyes -

/REMEMBER all Mary-Sue eyes have to be described with gemstones\\

- met his plain ones and she felt love after sooooo long (the last time was when

the policeman looked into her eyes a few hours ago).

/All love stories are between Squid and Mary…REMEMBER\\

She tore away from him, and he let her down reluctantly after groping her butt, gently because he's sensitive and all that BS.

"I can't think that," Mary told herself fiercely, in her very smart mind. "I can't feel that way again not after…"

Her thoughts drifted to the stray alley cat she fell in love with. He broke her heart after she found out he died. It was his fault he ran into a car after she chased him. Her delicate feelings and all those things that Mary-Sues think were destroyed. From then on, Mary vowed never to love again!

"Well, you must be Miss Sue." Mr. Sir said emerging from the crowd of masturbating boys, even the dead ones. They came back to life because dying is so un-Mary-Sueish. All Mary-Sues should be immortal…"Please follow me into my office."

Mary was used to the attention. She kept thinking of that 'handsome' boy she landed on. However, scanning the crowd she saw a figure that captured all her attention.

A dark skinned boy with dark hair and dark eyes with a round face (thanks LeMoNsOuR) was the object of said attention. He had an almost baldhead. He looked kinda like a hairy egg. She stared at him and he mouthed, "Hello chika."

For the fucking hell of it, Kelly Clarkson's song, Addicted started to play.

It's like you're a drug
It's like you're a demon I can't face down
It's like I'm stuck
It's like I'm running from you all the time
And I know I let you have all the power
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around
It's like you're a leech
Sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me
And I know I let you have all the power…

Mary started dancing to the ditty in her head, but she tripped…and fell in the mud…and Zero. Zero didn't die because her suffocating boobies were also very soft, and she was so light he wasn't squashed to death…a very…good (?) way to die. Immediately all the boys flocked around her.

"Oh can I help-"

"Are you alright?"

"Did you hurt-"

"Can I carry your…"

Some were nice enough to help her up. Some just tilted their heads and moaned. Other boys simply touched her perfect skin and ran away laughing. She was covered in dirt, and her magnificent blonde hair became dirty!

Mary glared at everyone and didn't say anything because she lived on the streets and could handle anything. She dusted the dirt of her shoulders, and her Mary-Sue powers got rid of all the dirt and grime in a few movements. The previous bird that pooped on her called her friends.

In a formation they let shit fly! She wasn't hit the first two times but the third –

"SCORE!" The camp screamed as the yogurt-milk thing hit her apples. The birds seemed contented and flew away, chirping happily.

"Now, now boys…Boys……SONS OF BITCHES!" Mr. Sir said/screamed (you pick one).

With grace and dignity, only befitting a Mary-Sue, Mary strolled out of the mass of sweaty boy flesh. That is until one of them grabbed her top…LETS KEEP IT 'G' RATED! Magically a long sleeved nun penguin suit appeared covering Mary completely yet showing of her Mary-Sue curves!

All jaws dropped. That sure as hell wasn't supposed to happen. They all started swearing up at the heavens, even Mr. Sir and the counselors. A bolt of lighting hit someone from tent A… he died.

/Who cares, aside from main characters, others are replaceable! \\

"Damn author!" Whoever said that just got hit by lightning too.