Disclaimer: if u that stupid to not figure out that I don't own Holes by reading the previous chapters then…
This chapter is kind of long and contains 'interesting' humor.
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She had that dream again…the bad one. The one where she was hurt, where her life unraveled. Her parents where wonderful; who cared that they committed suicide because of her perpetual perfection? But her brother…he was evil.
The dream was a memory, one she could never forget. She was playing in her room, her beautiful room that she decorated all by herself with intricate hand-made porcelain and glass sculptures that would put any artist to shame. So she was 5, again WHO CARES?
Then her brother entered. For a three year old he was demonic. He crept up to her and music from Scream started to play. Mary looked around as his muddy hands soiled her hair! She couldn't scream, couldn't move; she was paralyzed by the blasphemy on her perfection. Her world was spinning, consciousness slowly slipping away as the dirt dripped over her emerald eyes, destroying the spotlessness of her peaches and cream complexion.
"Hey Mary, wanna play?" Her brother asked innocently, but Mary knew it was all an act, all a ploy to ruin her life, to cause her pain and suffering and brake her spirit! Her brother was part of it; he was ruining her life with every drop of dirt.
She hated her brother. He didn't have the perfection she possessed so he was jealous; MARY KNEW IT YES SHE DID! Her parents didn't see, no because she was the adopted child, the adopted child with some messed up background so she was really related to Caveman, Zero and the Warden!
/Well most Mary-Sue's have some kinda really retarded relation to a main character. \\
"W-weave me awone Dan," Mary whispered, shocked but slowly adjusting to the fact that she was dirty.
He pouted innocently. "But I just wanted to show you the pwetty-"
"AAAAHHH!" Mary's scream echoed through the air as she vanquished her foe who dareth maketh her DIRTY-ITH! Dan screamed as a million fists pounded him, ramming his body as punishment for the evil sin of putting dirt on his older sister!
More screams. More dirt. More pain. Mary started thrashing around crying at the horrible memory of when she experienced unsanitary torture! She cried and cried and cried as the memory engulfed her until…
"Whoa chika you pissed in your pants!"
Mary opened her eyes. It was all a dream. She was in Camp something with a dashingly handsome white creature of the sea and the bald egg headed Hispanic sexy guy. BUT she had pissed in her pants.
Mary started blubbering as all the pains of her life overcame her. Then Calamari came up to her and sat on her wet bed. He pouted at her and whispered, "I can fix that."
They started kissing lustfully and blah blah blah (really just count how many Squid make out scenes there are in a Mary-Sue). Suddenly!
"OUCH" Squid jumped up as blood spurted from his mouth. Mary did the same. HE FUCKING BIT HER TONGUE. Okay, so she accidentally ripped his teeth of his gums, but it's not her fault she has excellent dental thingy!
Mary continued to spit out blood all over the tent. Damn, he bites hard. This had never happened to her, never ever with her numerous other boyfriends that all broke her heart so Squiggy or the other dude could show her that not ALL guys were jerks.
IT WAS WRONG. It was all wrong, all wrong. It had never happened before so why now? Why? Why? Mary began to choke on her blood as she spat it out, all the blood and saliva and mucus were resurfacing, gagging her, choking her. She was going to pass out; she was going to…
"RISE AND SHINE HAPPY CAMPERS!" That stupid panda guy yelled.
Mary opened her eyes tentatively. It was still dark throughout the camp. It was all a dream; she convinced herself, all a horrible terrible dream.
"Whoa chika you pissed in your pants!"
Déjà vu.
Mary glanced around, but this time it wasn't that white guy who her eyes first met. It was a BIG FRIKKIN' ASS AFRO. It was that short guy she tripped over earlier. He was staring at her with staring eyes and a stare. Mary stared backed hypnotized until a hand touched her shoulder. She tensed up, turned and saw egghead.
There was something about his baldish egg headedness that made her want to stare, like how Afro Dude was staring at him. She let a smile creep into her lips as he sat on her bed.
"Chika I told you, you pissed in your pants, you okay?"
The smile slipped of her face. He knew. She knew he knew, and HE KNEW.
"And you were moving all aroun' cryin' nightmare lil chika?"
"Don't call me lil," She sniffed. "It always happens when I have a nightmare." She whispered.
"I don't ca-" Magnet stopped in mid sentence and fell to the floor. Behind him stood Squid holding a big stick something. He smiled sheepishly at Mary.
"Yo' didn't see that bog invisible lizard?"
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The whack on the head must've caused Magnet to lose what little brain cells he had. He was talking to rocks, but they talked back. All of them talked, all around him, everywhere, ready to KILL AND SUCK HIS BLOOD BEFORE SHOOTING HIM IN THE NADS! Or so ZigZag thought.
The penguins told him so; the penguins were always right. They told ZigZag everything, like how Caveman would always come back to life and how invisible creatures would attack poor Magneto. Thank the tartar sauce that Squid saved Magnet, but Mary had to interfere. She INTERFERED! It was all her fault, but ZigZag would prevail. The penguins said it. The penguins were always right, everywhere, every time, the penguins…
D Tent went to get there breakfast. As usual it was the same old crap. The "Grillé du Pain" was under cooked. The "Les Oeufs au Saumon" was burnt. The continental Labneh was absolutely horrible, and don't even get me started on the caviar.
They walked behind each other in a straight line waiting to get their horrible, indigestible 'food' substanence. It was a normal morning. It was quiet. The penguins hadn't informed of any importance. Until…
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO," Armpit dropped to his knees crying, wailing, suffering right beside Caveman. "NOOOOOOOO WHERE ARE THE BOLILLOS ARE GONE ALL GONE…GONE!"
It's sad watching a grown fat boy cry, cry for all the Bolillos of camp that were gone, just gone…
X-Ray took control. "Yo' Mr. Sir. Wha happened to does Bolillos man?"
The ugly disfigured guy turned his ugly disfigured head to look at the leader (and pimp) of D Tent. He growled, "Cut backs, you girls get to much to eat. Lou – the Warden thinks you should eat less." He looked around, daring anyone to say something about his woman.
Armpit continued to yell, crying for his mom, his dad, his sister, his Bolillos.
Mary looked up shocked and sorrowful. The poor boy, it was like he lost a part of himself. She ran up to him and gave him a biiiiiiig hug, while holding her breath. "Aw it'll be alright; you'll see."
Magnet stopped talking to rocks. Squid stopped gazing at ZigZag. Their eyes widened. Pause.
Pause.
Pause, then…
"NOOOO THE CROQUEMBOUCHE!"
"MY ESCARGOTS!"
Mary stopped hugging the fat teddy bear-ish thing. She ran with her arms eagle spread towards Magnet and Squid. They ran at her the same way with outstretched arms. They all met in the middle like a scene from some love story!
"It's all right. We'll get through this," she said comfortingly. Tears continued to drop down the boys' faces. "Here put your heads on my shoulders."
So they did; they put their heads on what they could reach.
"I said my shoulders."
"Can't reach," Squid muttered as he hugged her and lay his head on a BIG (like Armpit big) what shall we call them? They're round and most girls have them. Magnet was just smiling like the retard he is (who talks to ROCKS?).
Then there was a lot of yelling. Apparently the others weren't content in watching. Angrily, ZigZag came up, grabbed Squiggly by the collar and dragged him away. So Magnet and Mary were all alone, all alone. But things have to end. A rogue shovel hit the back of his head.
"YO, ANDELE! We got holes to dog!" Someone 'coughSquidcough' yelled as the Hispanic boy fell to the floor, talking to the penguins.
Zero grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the library.
Then Caveman (eating bread and homus) came up to Mary, who was staring at the unconscious boy on the ground. "The first hole is always the hardest." He said kindly, what a loser.
Now we all know that he was a loser because he started choking on homus. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU CHOKE ON HOMUS, REALLY! The corpse (recently alive) fell to the ground. Mary sidestepped him nervously and followed behind Zero.
"What did he say?"
"Who cares, just move before-"
"OH MY GOD! YOU KILLED CAVEMAN! MWAHAHAHAHA!"
Zero sighed, "-that happens." With that, they both ran away towards the library, leaving everyone behind but most importantly KYLE!
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Aidyl: You are weird. I highly respect you oh 'exceptional' one –bow-.
thetwitchnwitchi: The penguins have called for songs; on your behalf I have asked for them to lower the number.
XxMademoisellexX: It's cool that we got a new fan fiction follower. SMILE. Please continue reading.
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