Disclaimer: MERRY CHRISTMAS! I DON'T OWN HOLES!

This is my pet monkey Falooga. He is here to customize peace between our distant relatives the French zenobians. We all love the zenobians. They are otherwise known as penguins. Penguins are good.

Falooga: Sanity is precious. Writing stories and scenes like this sort of ruins sanity. Reading as well. You have been warned.

MARY P.O.V.

Oh God, today was so horrible. All that digging made me so tired. I don't know what I'm going to do. Magnet that super hot amazing- I MEAN, that okay looking guy gave me a bunch of shower tokens. I wonder where he got them. Why is the rest of D-Tent screaming about lost tokens? Oh well it's not my problem. I don't worry about nothing and nobody because I can handle everything.

I need a shower. It's so hot. It's so sticky. I can't stand this camp anymore. If it wasn't for those hot guys I don't know what I would do. Are they looking at me? Oh yes I think they are yes, look at them. Oh my boobs are so firm. Those double D cups can do that. I got so mad when that plastic surgeon I had to beat up gave me C CUPS.

OMG C CUPS! What was he crazy? Honestly and after he was found dead in a drain they blame ME. LIKE TOTALLY ME! It's not my fault I was the last person seen with him! If that didn't happen I would never have been sent here. WAAAAAAAAAA POOR ME, how can that happen? All that rotten luck to poor little old me. Years and years on the streets living on my own and- GASP OMG MY NAIL MY POOR POOR POOR NAIL. What am I going to do!

Ok Mary pull yourself together. Just wink, wink at that passing guy. Oops that was a wall. You can grab a hold of yourself. You're amazing. Yes I am I proved that this afternoon.

FLASHBACK

Mr. Sir came to deliver water. Everyone got in a line and Mary was up front behind X-Ray because juvenile delinquents are really gentlemen in disguise. Actually they just wanted to see her bounce.

When it was her turn Mr. Sir asked, "So how'dya like diggin' dem holes girl? This ain't no girls scouts camp."

Mary tilted her head back and let the sun glisten on her blonde ringlets. "Well then why are YOU here and me for that matter."

Everyone gasped in amazement. Mr. Sir stuttered. "Um…um…ya, you don't know nothing about anything you girl scout!"

END FLASHBACK

I need to wash the grimly dirt all of me. There's the bathroom. No one will see me. I'm sure, even though the shower barely comes up to my double D's, no one will notice. I am totally decent. But first, I have to get my shower stuff…YAY!

For some reason no one checked my backpack. I have my Chanel shampoo and Victoria Secret Rose Petal Soap. No one noticed my foot long nail clippers, which aren't even allowed on airplanes, or my 8-inch Swiss Army switchblade, that I stole with my super pick pocketing skills! I think I will impress Magnet with my klepto magnificence. I bet he never met anyone like that!

First shower token in. I wonder who this is for…OMG THE WATER IS SO COLD! Where's the hot water knob.

FOUR MINUTES LATER…

Oh thank God. The water was so cold. Wait, I didn't shower…and I still can't find that damn knob. Oh well, I bet I can totally and completely forget that! Hey, why is that guy staring? Why is he yelling "OMG LOOK AT THE BITCH!" Where's this bitch? I bet it's that Mr. Pendabooby. Oh well, shower time.

Second shower token in. Hmm…this smells like Armpit. Whatever let the nice warm…ehem…water rinse all the dirt away. My Chanel shampoo will make it all better. It is also a conditioner.

12 MINUTES LATER…

Ummm…that feels so good…ummm. Huh? The water stopped, as well as all those whistling noises. Squid is coming. I can hear him yelling. He's saying, "Get outta here! Leave her alone. F OFF!" I wonder who he's talking to. Who cares? Now it's time to finish washing the left side of my hair! YAY! But…only one shower token left…

I THINK I'LL SAVE WATER. I know, I will use milk, camel's milk like that old lady in Egypt, Cleopats-herbra! Now where can I find a camel and who will milk it? Oh my God, my soap fell down. I must bend over to get it.

FFRRRTTT!

I farted! Oh schitzo I farted! There's a rustling sound behind me. I turn around. GASP IT'S SQUID!

"Hey um…it smells like cinnamon buns." He said with a goofy grin on his face.

With my super muscles I punched him out, so he would never see the water glistening over my seductive skin, dripping down my big double D's!

000ooo000ooo000

Grey: I don't know what to say. If you are grossed out you have only yourself to blame. I specifically said this wasn't for the faint of stomach...I sound like a bitch. Merry Christmas thanks for reviewing.

PillowswIne: Yes I do write seriously but is it my fault it got deleted? Merry Christmas thanks for reviewing.

GryzzleChickGC: My opinion of Squid will be made very clear in up coming chapters Merry Christmas thanks for reviewing.

LeMoNsOuR: I feel the sarcasm in your reviews. Were you sarcastic?If you wanna send a flame go ahead. Merry Christmas thanks for reviewing.

EugeleeV: Did you even READ the damn story? Screw You! Merry Christmas thanks for reviewing.

Firecracker101: I DELETED THAT STORY! I MADE ONE SENSIBLE REALLY DAMN LONG STORY ABOUT HARRY POTTER AND I DELETED IT. DO YOU THINK I AM NORMALLY INSANE? DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD I WORKED ON THAT STORY SO IT WASN'T A PIECE OF CRAP? DO YOU? DO YOU? Sorry…Merry Christmas thanks for reviewing.

SunfireEyes: Who are you and how come I never heard from you. No mean to be rude. Merry Christmas thanks for reviewing 3 TIMES...