HAPPY HALLOWEEN, EVERYONE! Enjoy this bonus chapter -- it's nothing special. I had to do it, though; I just couldn't resist!
Stay safe this Halloween if you're going out. :)
BONUS CHAPTER: Mischief Night
Blue tapped his foot impatiently as he stood at the nearest lamp post, holding his pillow case. He was dressed as a...gerbil.
After what seemed like hours (which in reality, was mere seconds) to the blue Link, another boy finally approached, garbed in a pink popstar outfit, blonde pig-tail wig, and microphone headset. Of course, his shirt was stuffed, too...
"Hey, blue!" said the boy, waving his floral pillow case.
"...God dammit, Red! What the hell have you done to yourself? You look like a fucking girl!" snapped the blue gerbil Link.
Red frowned.
"Yeah, well, you look like a gerbil, Blue!"
"GOD DAMN YOU, WE ARE GONNA KICK EACHOTHER IN THE NUTS 'TILL ONE OF US FALLS!" Blue raised a foot menacingly.
"Ah! Blue, no, please! Not now! We have more important things to do, like trick-or-treating!"
"Dude, don't call it 'trick-or-treating'. That's what the babies call it. Refer to it as 'confection collection'."
"What-EVA! Look, have you seen Green, Vio, Zelda, and the fairy?" Red asked.
"Why the hell is Fairy coming?" Blue groaned.
"Because I invited her, now shush, silly!" Red giggled. Blue slapped him.
Green popped up behind them.
"Hey, guys..." he said weakly. Blue and Red turned to look.
"What the hell, Green? What's with THAT costume?" Blue snorted. Green looked pregnant.
"What's it look like, dumbass? I'm being pregnant for Halloween! Thought right now, I kind of wish I had gone for the pilgrim outfit..." He pointed to his stomach and said, "This thing weighs, like, 30 pounds or somethin'..."
"You didn't have to go out and buy one of those pregnancy pads, Green. You could've just stuffed your shirt or something," said Red.
"Dude, you guys are soooo dressed like queers! Red, you're a popstar, and Green, you're pregnant! Can't you be a little more manly?" Blue said angrily.
"You're a gerbil, that's not manly!" replied Green, rubbing his back tenderly. "Ow...my feet..."
"Hopefully Vio'll be something slightly more masculine..." Blue mumbled to himself.
"Hey, guys." Red, Blue, and Green turned to see Vio dressed as Raggedy-Ann.
"God...dammit..." Blue hissed through clenched teeth.
Glaring at the others, he said, "You guys are gay! Super gay! I am NOT gonna be seen walking around with Britney Spears, Captain Prego, and Raggedy Ann!"
"Yo," said a new voice. There stood Shadow Link, wearing absolutely nothing at all.
"What are YOU supposed to be?" Green asked.
"HEY! You are NOT coming, you asshole! No one invited you!" Blue growled.
"I thought you were dead," stated Red.
"Shadow! Is that you? You're...alive!" Vio gasped.
"Yeah, I'm alive!" Shadow said happily before he and Vio started making out wildly.
"Get a room!" Green said.
"Why the fuck are you naked?" Blue demanded.
Shadow pulled away from Vio and said, "I'm a college student. A streaker."
"That's a lame costume! All you have to do is take your clothes off! You're gonna freeze; this is fall, you know," Green told his dark self.
"Well, I'm not being a fat person for Halloween like YOU are..." Shadow sniffed hottily.
"I'm not fat, I'm pregnant!" Green sobbed, taking out a tub of ice cream and digging into it.
"You DO realize that you are not actually pregnant...right?" Red asked.
"Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Red?" Green replied.
"Whatever... Where's Zelda and the fairy?" Blue asked. As if on cue, Zelda and the fairy appeared, Zelda dressed as a Playboy Bunny, and the fairy merely wearing an eyepatch.
"I'm a pirate, homies," said the fairy.
"Well, can we go?" Zelda asked.
"...Yeah, yes, of course," Green answered quickly, prying his eyes away from Zelda's tits.
"Hold up a second! We are NOT going if HE'S coming with us!" declared Blue, waving an accusing finger at Shadow.
"Blue!" Vio whined, hugging Shadow defensively.
"He's not coming!" Blue replied stubbornly.
"If he's not going, then I'm not going!" Vio announced.
"FINE! GO! You're under the false illusion that people like you, Vio! But no one actually does! So just go make out and stick your fingers up eachother's asses somewhere else!" Blue snorted, sticking his nose up into the air.
"Fine! We will!" yelled Shadow, taking Vio by the hand and dragging him away.
"Queers..." Green muttered under his breath, rubbing his stomach.
Zelda frowned. "Blue, that was mean!" she said.
Red sighed dreamily.
"Shadow and Vio are sooo cute together... I wish Green and I could be like that..." he said softly.
"What?" said the fairy.
"Nothing!" Red squeaked, starting to walk up to the nearest house.
Red could have sworn he saw Green wink at him...
"All of you get Snickers bars if you make sweet love to me! All at the same time!" Tingle cried, dancing around in the doorway of the house the gang was currently visitng.
"Stop it, dammit," said the fairy.
"Come on, make sweet love to me for Snickers!"
"Dude, we are NOT going to make sweet love to you, so just give us the Snickers you promised..." Green growled.
"Ah, I see Mr. Hero is cranky because his property has already been claimed, and his fields have been well planted, I see!" Tingle sang, patting Green's stomach.
"Ok, like...don't touch me," said the green Link darkly.
"Let's make sweet love!" Tingle danced around some more.
"Mother fucker!" Blue cursed, whipping out a gun and shooting Tingle seven hundred times. Then he, Zelda, Green, Red, and the fairy snatched the Snickers and ran.
Shadow and Vio giggled stupidly as they huffed Lysol and tossed eggs at the retirement home.
One of the nurses leaned out of a window, and waving her fist, cried desperately, "Stop, children! Don't you know how you are affecting the lives of the elderly!" She would have said more, had Shadow not thrown a grenade into the home...
"Hahaha...you rock, Shadow. I love you, and I'm sorry for betraying you..." said Vio.
"It's ok. I'm sorry for trying to kill you. I love you so much, Vio..." Shadow replied softly, his eyelids heavy. He placed his hands on Vio's hips and kissed him passionately.
After they broke apart, Vio asked, "Well...what should we do now?"
"Why, beat up the smaller children and eat candy and drink huggies until none of our clothes fit anymore, of course!"
"Ah, good idea. Why didn't I think of that?"
"Whatever, let's go!" Shadow said, grinning and taking Vio's hand and guiding him along.
A little girl dressed up like a bumble bee hopped up in front of them.
"Tee hee! Look at me! I'm a BUMBLEBEE!" she squealed happily. Shadow punched her in the face, and Vio knocked her unconcious with a large rock. They proceeded to snatch her candy-filled pumpkin box, and wolfed down her candy.
The duo made to find their next victim...
"Well, we finally got all the candy we need..." said Red, adjusting his fake tits.
"What do we do with it?" Zelda asked.
"Eat it, bitch," snapped the fairy, hitting Zelda with her trick-or-treat bag.
"Hey! Stop it, you bitch!" Zelda growled, rounding on the fairy.
"HEY! No one is eating their candy! NO ONE eats their candy any more!" Blue announced.
"They don't?" Green questioned in a muffled tone through his mouthful of sweets.
"No! Now stop binging, you're not pregnant, mother fucker!" Blue spat, slapping Green.
Green swallowed and, his eyes watering, whined, "How dare you do that to me while I'm in such a delicate condition!"
Hearing moaning, the group spun around to see Shadow and Vio stumbling towards them, looking quite ill.
"That's what you get for being queer!" Blue told the pair, kicking dirt at them.
"I'M WARNING YOU, BLUE LINK I AM NOT IN THE MOOD..." Shadow bellowed, clutching his stomach.
"What happened to you guys?" Red asked, twirling a strand of his blonde pig-tails.
"We beat the shit out of about 15 kids and ate all of their candy..." Vio choked out.
The fairy rolled her eyes.
"You dudes better hit da bathrooms. When you eat that much, you should always throw it up afterward," she said.
"Isn't that bulimia?" Red asked.
"Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, foo'?" the fairy chirped, turning on Red and pulling out a pistol.
Said Zelda with a sigh, "Lesson learned: when trick-or-treating, avoid midgets with Snickers. Don't eat your candy, and if you do, always throw it up afterward. Always wear clothing -- nudity is not a costume. Happy Halloween!"
Everyone started laughing.
Suddenly, Green said, "Oh, uh...guys? I think my water just broke..."