Arelle

A team of four cadets and their captain exited the Thunder Plains and found their way into Macalania Woods. Liss walked in the front with Repparu, who as the chief gunner kept an eye out for distant threats. Sam, the group's only mage, held the most protected spot in the middle, along with Paine, who played the part of escorted guest while observing the trainees' fighting, leadership, and decision-making abilities. Maura, the most versatile of the group, brought up the rear and watched everyone's back.

When Liss first named a team of Repparu, Maura, and Sam, Paine had reminded her about not merely inviting her friends along, but Liss had defended her decisions. "Repparu is easily the best shot in the class," she'd said, "and the same is even more true of Sam and his magical abilities. And Maura is excellent with both the sword and the gun, her skills in both areas very different from mine. She can get the quick enemies and I can take the tougher ones. Besides, doesn't it make sense for me to choose the people I know best? We're already familiar with each other's strengths and weaknesses, which is a great advantage for becoming a cohesive team." Paine had to agree with every assessment, and so she let Liss's choices stand. They had been on the road for a week, and so far had answered every attack with great success -- mostly fiends, although a very unhappy pair of bandits had been left tied up against a tree near the north bank of the Moonflow. The group displayed perfect balance as well as the knack for teamwork that Liss had been hoping for, and Paine was pleased with their progress.

"Okay, hold up," Liss called out as the group approached a fork in the road. She stepped onto a small rise to look around, then nodded. "Let's camp here." She turned to Paine. "If that's all right with you, Captain?"

Paine shrugged. "It's your decision, not mine. You're in charge on this trip."

"You're our honored guest, Captain," Maura said with a grin. "Shouldn't you be comfortable with any campsite we choose?"

Paine laughed. "Fair enough. All right, yes, I approve. You can stop here for the night."

Repparu took a seat on the edge of the trail, taking first watch while Sam and Maura started setting up the tent. The day had been unusually warm for mid-winter, but the night would likely be bitter cold, too cold to sleep rough. Paine stood to the side and watched the two cadets quickly raise the structure as Liss walked up beside her.

"You've done well," Paine told her cousin. "You picked a good team, and they're working well with you, and together."

"Thanks," said Liss absently, her eyes focused on some spot farther down the trail.

"Hey." Paine poked Liss gently in the arm. "You okay?"

"Sure, I'm fine," she responded, not moving. "Just thinking about tomorrow."

Paine looked up into Liss's face and saw concern there. "You nervous?"

Liss slowly nodded. "A little. A lot has happened since I left home, you know? I've learned so much, about both my parents and even myself. Do you think that will change things between Mother and me?"

"I'm sure it will," Paine replied. "But for the better. It's always good to have things out in the open."

The younger girl turned to Paine. "Promise?"

Paine chuckled softly. "Well, I can't promise. But it seems likely. All right?" Liss smiled and nodded. "All right. Let's get a fire started."

The battle with Seymour was long and exhausting. He had discovered some way to negate Yuna's ability to call her aeons, so we'd needed to rely on blades and spells. Eventually, we wore him down and defeated him, but everyone was wounded, tired, and dejected. The brave faces the others had worn before battle were replaced by quiet brooding as they reflected on the truths they had learned about their faith. They had all been prepared to die to defend Spira, and as thanks Yevon had declared them all traitors. We would need a full night's rest before Yuna could move on. So I'd directed the party to a clearing and a spring that I knew on the outskirts of Macalania Woods -- it would be a good place to heal and regroup.

But then I headed in another direction, taking my leave of the group on the pretext of needing to check out our status with Bevelle. That errand had been short, though, and so I could put off my true purpose no longer. Slowly, I approached a small farmhouse nestled amongst the trees, the sunset fading behind them. Arelle's home.

I became more nervous with every step. Would Relle even want to see me? From her point of view, I had deserted her for a decade. She would certainly be within her rights to shut the door in my face. But I had to make this visit. I would feel too much of a coward if I came this close without seeing her.

As I approached the cottage, I noticed a girl with long dark hair playing in the yard. She was holding a stick as if it were a sword, fencing with the sunflowers. Then she looked up and, seeing me approach, froze.

I stopped, not wanting to scare her. "Hello," I said, projecting as much calm as I could muster. I stood my sword against a tree, then unlatched my high collar and pulled it over my head. I felt rather naked without them, but perhaps it would put the child at ease if I looked less like a fighting machine.

"Hi," she said, cautiously.

"Is your mother home?" I asked as I slowly walked closer. Because it was obvious to me that this could only be Relle's daughter -- the eyes were the same clear gray, intelligent and warm, and there was something familiar about her face. My heart sank a little -- had Arelle remarried? Rickard hadn't mentioned a husband, but the existence of a child hadn't come up, either. Well, I could hardly blame her if so, not after ten years.

She hesitated for a moment, as if deciding whether to trust me. "Yes," she finally said, "but she's working. Why?"

"I'm an old friend. I was in the area and thought I'd drop by to say hello." I had reached the gate by this time and, opening it, walked up to her.

She looked up at me, doubt on her face. "You're tall."

I knelt down to bring myself closer to her height, as I had always done for Yuna and Paine when they were small. "There," I said. "Not so tall now, am I?"

She smiled, suddenly more relaxed. "No. Now I'm taller than you!" I nodded agreement -- she was going to be a very tall woman, even more so than her mother. "I'm Liss."

"Nice to meet you," I said. "My name is Auron." There was no obvious reaction from Liss, and my heart dropped even farther. Had Arelle forgotten me entirely? Only one way to find out, and I'd come too far to back out now. "Since we've been introduced, may I go in the house and pay my respects?"

She nodded. "Yeah. You're okay."

I stood up. "Thank you, Liss."

"Really," she said, "my name's Lissira. But my friends call me Liss."

"Then I am honored to be your friend," I said, inclining my head in a bow, then moved through the yard to the cottage. I had almost reached the front door when a thought struck me, and I turned back to the girl, who had gone back to her sunflowers. "If I may ask, Liss, how old are you?"

"I'm nine," she replied, not pausing in her attack.

"Thank you," I said, making some quick mental calculations. Then I shook my head, hard. I needed to see Relle first. I reached up to knock on the door, but it swung fully open at my first touch. I took a deep breath and stepped into the house, closing the door behind me.

There she was, her back to me, standing over a basin of steaming water, a dish in her hand. Her hair, piled on top of her head, had faded slightly, from the copper color I remembered to a softer tone, almost gold. Her curves were softer, too; no longer the body of a twenty-four-year-old girl, but of a woman in her thirties who had given birth to a child. She hummed as she worked -- at least one thing hadn't changed. I hated to interrupt the peaceful moment, but eventually I felt too much like a stalker just watching her in silence. I had to speak.

"Relle."

She froze, then straightened up and turned around, eyes wide. She didn't drop the bowl she was holding, but it was a near thing. I saw her hands tighten on it, knuckles turning almost white.

"Auron?" she said, faintly. "I... I didn't hear you come in."

"I was going to knock," I said, "but the door opened on its own. I hope I didn't scare you."

"It's all right," she replied, looking down at the dish, but clearly it wasn't. "How did you find me?"

"Rickard told me that you were here."

"Oh." She paused. "So you know about Tzeki, then."

"Yes. And Kera, and Xan."

I dropped my head for a moment, then raised it again. Her eyes were still locked on the bowl in her hands. "What brings you here?" she asked.

"Does a man need a reason to come see his wife?" It was a weak response, and we both knew it. "You look well." The triteness of that was even worse, but I spoke nothing less than truth -- she was as lovely as the last time I'd seen her. More so, in that I'd left a girl and returned to a woman. All her features had softened and matured. She was radiant. Only the sadness in her eyes marred her beauty.

She only nodded, looking up now, her focus on something in the distance over my shoulder.

"Kinoc is dead," I said abruptly.

An eyebrow just barely quirked. "Did you kill him?"

"No." I glanced at the ceiling as I considered the improbability of what I was going to say next. "I avenged him."

Another nod, then silence.

"I met Liss." I paused, wondering if I should ask. But I couldn't contain the question. "Is she..."

Her response was barely a whisper. "Yes. Lissira is your daughter."

Even though I was half-expecting it, the answer still hit me with enormous force. "My daughter," I breathed, almost dizzy with the rush of emotions. "She... I'm a father? How... "

She looked straight at me then, her expression incredulous. "'How?' The last time I saw you. I'd expect you to remember that visit pretty vividly. I know I do."

I was still at a loss for words. "You... Relle... why didn't you... tell..." My voice trailed off as I realized the utter idiocy of this question. Of course she hadn't told me -- how could she have?

The look became a glare, her eyes flashing with anger. "Tell you? How could I have possibly told you? I didn't know where you were. You think I didn't look? You think I didn't visit the Farplane every day for weeks to see if you'd turn up there? No one knew whether you'd even survived the Final Summoning. I once heard a rumor that you'd been seen near Bevelle afterwards, but no one could tell me what happened to you after that. How dare you come here and ask me that, when you disappeared on me for ten years? Ten years, Auron! I thought you were dead!"

I looked at the floor, half in shame at my stupidity, half to hold back a hideously inappropriate laugh. I'd fancied I could avoid this particular subject, but clearly there was no way around it. How best to tell her? Finally, I returned my gaze to her face and, controlling my voice very carefully, said, "You weren't wrong."

Then the bowl did fall, slipping from her hands as they went slack. It crashed down to the stone floor and shattered into a thousand pieces. "No," she whispered, the blood draining from her face. She took a step back, resting a hand on the table beside her for balance. "No... oh please Yevon no." She shook her head violently, the anger in her eyes turning to anguish. "What... how?"

"After the Final Summoning, I returned to Zanarkand and confronted... someone we had met. She struck me down. I made it as far as the Calm Lands, but it was too late -- I died there. There was no one to send me, and I had made a promise to Jecht, that I would find and watch over his son. My promise bound me to this world. I could have come back to you instead, but it would have been a false life, a lie." I sighed and looked at my feet again, then back up to Relle. "I couldn't do that to you. But I see now that it was a mistake not to come earlier. I'm sorry I left you wondering."

"Why are you here?" she asked, her voice breaking.

I looked straight into her eyes. "Because I had to see you one more time. To tell you that I still love you. That I have always loved you. I couldn't leave this world without letting you know."

A hand flew up to cover her mouth, and her face began to quiver as her eyes filled with tears, her control clearly beginning to crack. In three strides, I was across the room, pottery shards crunching beneath my feet. My arms came around her, and I held her tightly. She cried without making a sound, shaking so violently that I could barely keep her standing. I rocked her gently, burying my face in her hair and whispering her name, trying to bring us comfort that we both knew could never come.

Eventually, her sobs subsided. She placed her head and hands on my chest, then leaned back to look at me. "I can't believe... why am I able to touch you?"

"I can be solid or insubstantial as I choose," I said.

She nodded. Then she reached up and gently traced the scar on my forehead. "Your eye... and you look so much older."

"I lost the eye in the fight that killed me. As for the other, I don't know why my hair went gray so fast. It may be because I'm unsent -- it's taken a lot of effort to keep going, these last ten years. But perhaps not. Dix was graying by the time he was my age, after all."

"I remember." Relle smiled a little, running her fingers along the streak coming from my right temple. "I like it. Makes you look distinguished."

I smiled back. "Liar. But thank you. You, on the other hand, are more beautiful than you ever were."

She blushed slightly. "Now who's the liar." She paused. "What's it like..." she started to ask, then broke off, shaking her head. "No, I take it back. I don't think I want to know."

"It would be difficult to explain anyway," I said. "If we talked all night, I might be able to make you understand, but I haven't much time. My party will be missing me soon, and I don't want to have to tell them why I was gone. But before I leave, what can you tell me about Lissira?"

The tiny smile touched her features again. "If only we had all night. She'd take that long to explain, too. She's a wonderful girl, Auron. Strong, smart, loving. You'd be proud of her."

"What did you tell her about me?" I asked.

She looked away. "Not much. I said that her father was killed by Sin before she was born -- I figured it was likely true, or close enough. I don't... I could never really bear to talk about you. I think she senses that, so she doesn't ask many questions." She sighed. "I'm glad you came, even if only for a moment. I'm glad you know about Liss. But, oh Auron, I miss you so much." I looked into her eyes and saw the grief and longing there. Her feelings mirrored my own.

I laid my hand on her face. "I miss you too." I leaned forward, touching my forehead to hers, and found that I couldn't resist kissing her. I had meant it to be quick, but the moment my lips touched hers, a hand came up behind my head and pressed me closer. She hadn't said that she loved me, but she didn't need to. I stroked her cheek with my thumb. She tangled her fingers in my hair.

Then it was over. She stepped back and looked away. "I'm never going to see you again, am I." It was not a question.

"I am sorry," I said, through a growing lump in my throat. "I'm tired, Relle, so very tired. When my mission is over..." But I found myself wondering. Could I stay to see my child become a woman? Get back all the years Relle and I had lost? Maybe I didn't need Yuna to send me in the end. Maybe I could...

No. I quashed the thought before it could take root and become a real temptation. Spira had been ruled by death for too long. It was time to return this world to the living. Once this was over, I would rest.

She raised up her hand and shook her head. "You don't need to say it. I understand."

I nodded. "I promise you, the mission is important. I'm on a pilgrimage with Braska's daughter and Jecht's son. I think I've found a way to stop Sin -- for good. Imagine it, Relle. Our daughter, growing up in a world free from Sin!"

Her head snapped up, eyes shining with amazement at the thought, as well as with unshed tears. "The end of Sin… really? Oh, how wonderful! How…"

"I can't tell you. I wish I could. There is so much I wish I could…" I broke off, choked by ten years of regrets, of words unsaid.

She started to take a step toward me, then stopped. "It's all right. Whatever you're planning, I'm sure it's the right thing. I believe in you, Auron. I always have."

I bowed my head. "Thank you. I promise that I will not leave you wondering again. If I fail, I'll come back to let you know."

"And if you succeed?" she asked, her voice trembling slightly.

I paused. "You will know. I swear it. And now I must go. Goodbye, Relle."

"Goodbye." She returned to her washing, and I understood -- she didn't want to watch me leave again. I turned around and went the door.

Night had fallen, but Lissira was still playing in the garden. She ran up to me as I walked to the gate. My daughter; I could still barely believe it. "Are you leaving now?" she asked.

"I am. It was very nice meeting you." A thousand bittersweet emotions flooded my heart. I looked at her face carefully, and suddenly realized why she had seemed so familiar. She had Relle's eyes, but otherwise she looked just like Kera as a little girl. My throat closed again, and I resisted the urge to lift her up in my arms, to hug her close to me and never let go. Instead, I merely tousled her hair -- it was thick and slightly coarse, much like my own -- touching my child for the first and last time. "Be a good girl, and take care of your mother."

She nodded seriously. "I will."

I nodded back. "Goodbye then." I opened the gate and walked through. As it swung closed behind me, I heard Liss's answering shout. "Bye! Come back soon." I looked back over my shoulder to see her waving at me. I waved back, but I could not bring myself to speak.

I gathered my armor and weapon and headed back to camp, my spirit simultaneously heavy and light. My joy in the knowledge that Relle still loved me and that she was raising our child warred with a crushing sorrow that I would never see either of them again, and I grieved for the family I had lost, that I had never really had. After a few minutes of walking, I looked back to make sure the farm was out of sight and earshot. Finding that it was, I leaned up against a tree, and quietly fell apart.

Over seven years later, Paine stood by that same tree, brooding. Liss had lead her team successfully through the woods, and her spirits had become ever more buoyant as she approached her childhood home. But now Paine was uneasy. It had been nearly twenty years since she'd parted from Arelle, under unpleasant circumstances, and she didn't know what kind of reception to expect.

Baralai came up behind her. He had met up with them that afternoon, near the path that lead to Bevelle. "Everything okay?" he asked.

Paine turned. "Hmm? Oh, sure. Just thinking."

He gently prodded her in the back. "Hey. Relax. I'm sure she'll be happy to see you."

"Okay." She took a fortifying breath of chilly air and continued on the path.

Soon, the small house and garden came into sight. Liss was already poised to knock on the door, Maura waiting next to her, the boys at the bottom of the stairs. "C'mon, hurry up," she called out.

"Coming, coming," Baralai replied.

The two of them reached the gate, then joined the cadets at the threshold. Liss knocked, then pushed the door open. "Mother? We're here!"

Paine's first impression was of a stranger, a soft woman with red-gold hair, shot through with white, hugging Liss fiercely. Then past and present merged, and she recognized Arelle. Rounder, and the hair had faded, but she had the same warm gray eyes and friendly face.

"There's someone here who wants to see you," Liss was saying, but Arelle had already noticed Paine over her daughter's shoulder. She released Liss and walked over to Paine, her hands held out.

"Oh. Oh my dear, you are the image of your father," she whispered as she took Paine's hands.

"Hi, Auntie Relle," said Paine softly.

Arelle smiled, her whole face glowing. "Paine. My darling girl. Do you know how long it's been since anyone has called me that?"

Paine let go of her aunt's hands and embraced her. "It's so good to see you!" They hugged for a long moment. Then Arelle stepped back and looked her up and down.

"My goodness, I can barely believe it's you. I don't even know if I would have recognized you if it weren't for your resemblance to Xan. I remember you always had his eyes, but your face, your hair, your frame..." She shook her head in disbelief. "It's incredible. "

Paine found herself pleased to hear all this -- she had loved her father dearly, and being told she resembled him by someone who had known him so well warmed her heart. "Thanks," she said. "Auntie Relle, may I introduce you to someone?" She stepped aside and indicated Baralai, who was hanging back in the doorway. "This is my husband, Baralai."

He took the tiniest step forward and took Arelle's hand, making his best courtly bow. "Milady Arelle, I am pleased to make your acquaintance."

She smiled broadly, placing her other hand atop the handshake. "Please, no need to be so formal. Call me Relle. After all, if you're married to Paine, then you're family as far as I'm concerned."

He raised himself from the bow. "Thank you," he said, smiling. "I'm honored."

"Come in, come in!" Arelle ushered her guests inside amidst a flurry of introductions, then walked over to the door and closed it, the group settling to become acquainted, and reacquainted.