Sorry it's short, but hey -- the manga chapter was short. I want to thank Mariam Dirbashi of Zelda Legends for providing the manga scans and the chapter summaries that were nessecary for writing this chapter, and many others. You rock, Mariam!

Chapter 9 -- Daddy Wants you DEAD, BITCH!

As Shadow Link died and disintegrated, Link's father was freed from the Dark World. The man who spawned Link was mysteriously transported to inside the Palace of Winds.

"Woah. Where am I? And am I...alone?" Link's father looked around.

"Yep. Sure looks like I'm pretty alone at the moment. Sweet. Now I can do THIS..." The general pulled down his pants and prepared to grab his dick when he realized with horror that he was not alone.

"Oh! General! You have been rescued!" exclaimed Princess Zelda, running toward him. She had a weird look in her eye...

"Umm...sir? Why are your pants down?"

"THEY'RE NOT!" Link's dad snapped, pulling them back up.

"Gawd, Zelda! Whatchoo think you're doing, sneaking up on people like that?"

"Well, I apologize deeply, good sir... But do you know what would be really fun?" Zelda asked mischeviously.

The general could think of a number of fun things to do with Zelda, though he was not sure if he should say them aloud, as she was a young princess. He didn't want to be caught doing "fun things" with Zelda. He wasn't ready to go back to jail.

"I know what you're thinking. And this is a different kind of fun," said Zelda.

"Woah...you can read minds?"

"...Maybe..."

"Oh...well...what is this 'fun', Princess Zelda?"

"That 'fun' would be wearing this non-evil helmet. It feels good on your head. And you know what? I'm not really Gufuu disguised as Zelda, and this helmet really won't possess you and make you do bad things. That is why it is so much fun to wear..." Zelda told the general, smiling evilly as she pulled out a metal helmet.

"Um, that sounded a little suspicious... Thanks, uh, ZELDA...but I really don't want to wear that helmet. It totally clashes with my armor," replied Link's dad.

"Awww, come on... It's so much FUN! And it's biodegradable!"

"Since when do I give a damn about the enviorment?"

"DAMMIT! PUT ON THE HELMET!" Zelda said demonically.

"Gaaaah! You're not Princess Zelda!" squealed the general. But it was too late -- Zelda put the helmet on Link's dad's head.

"Mwuahahahaha! I AM Gufuu in disguise! Now, general...I want you to kill your son when he arrives," said Zelda, who was really Gufuu in disguise.

"Yeeeessss... I shall kill my braaaaat..." replied the general, who was possessed by the actually-evil-fun-helmet.

The four Links walked through Hyrule Field, the fairy fluttering behind them. They were heading for the Four Sword Sanctuary so they could be transported to the Palace of Winds, as this chapter skips to when they are all done saving maidens (hey, the manga did it -- so can I).

"Well, we certainly aren't the same as we were at the beginning. We can cooperate now!" Red said happily.

"Yeah, especially since we bought that electrical tape to put over Blue's mouth," said Green.

"Mmmph mmm hmmm mm mmm!" Blue mumbled angrily through the electric tape covering his mouth. His hands were bound behind his back with rope.

"Yeah, things have been really quiet lately because of that..." said Red, his eyes slowly raising to meet Green's. He blushed, and so did Green.

"Uummm...Red? Can I, uh...talk to you alone?" Green asked.

"Sure," said Red, but before they could go off alone, the now-completely-and-utterly-miserable-from-lack-of-Shadow Vio cut in.

Opening up his third can of beer, fifth tub of ice cream and chowing down, the purple Link wailed, "GO ON... GO OFF AND LEAVE ME HERE TO DIE ALONE WHILE YOU TWO GO AND ADMIT YOUR LOVE TO EACHOTHER!"

"Vio, you're not going to die! What the hell is wrong with you?" Green snapped.

Vio pointed his spoon at him threateningly.

"DON'T CONTRADICT ME, GREEN!"

"Vio, what's wrong? You've been like this ever since Shadow died. Is there something you want to talk about?" Red offered kindly.

"NO..." Vio replied through a mouthful of ice cream as he started crying.

"Nah, he's fine..." said the fairy. Green and Red shrugged and walked off to be alone.

Green took a deep breath.

"Listen, Red...I...I've been having, some, uh...feelings..."

Red nodded nervously.

"Me too...and they've all been toward -- "

"You," Green finished.

"Green...I...I think I'm in love with you," Red said.

"I love you too, Red," replied Green, smiling with relief. So then they started making out. Then they started fucking, and it would've gone on for hours, had Vio not found them.

Vio screamed angrily and started throwing rocks and other potentially dangerous objects at them until they broke apart. Ans thus, they all continued on their way.

At last, they reached the sanctuary. The rescued maidens appeared.

"Links, you have rescued us in various scenes that the manga did not show. Now we shall send you to the Palace of Winds," they said. The four Links began to float into the sky.

"Mmmph mmm hmmm mm!" Blue exclaimed.

When they reached the palace, the boys made their way to the main entry door, and tried to open it, only to find that they couldn't...

"Yo! You guys didn't collect all them jewel keys! You only got the one from Valenzuela!" said the fairy.

"Well, as long as we have eachother..." Red said happily, nuzzling Green. But Green's eyes were averted elsewhere.

"What is it, Green?" Red asked. He turned to look where Green was, and the two watched as the figure of an armored man approached. Vio, Blue, and the fairy started to observe, too.

"Who is that...?" Vio whispered after taking another swig of beer.

Finally, the figure was close enough so that they could see his face.

"I-It's dad!" Green exclaimed. He ran up to him.

"Dad!"

But the general attempted to stab his son.

"Dad...?"