Chapter 3: A Second Opinion
Erik stared incredulously at his Shoulder Demon's outstretched hand.
"My Shoulder Demon? Don't tell me there are more of you flying above my head."
"You do realize that you possess only two shoulders," stated the Shoulder Angel, "Therefore there is no possibility that there are more of us around, unless your name is Quasimodo."
"And you do realize that the only thing preventing me from throwing your smart little arse into that phangirl's eager little hands is the fact that you may know some things that may prove quite useful to me!" Erik shot back. Really, he didn't even know that his so-called "good side" turned out to be so irritating.
"Oh, I believe that I would be more of use to you and your purposes than that annoying Shoulder Angel of yours," purred the Shoulder Demon, pulling Erik's right ear, "After all, Erik, you and I are much more alike. We embrace darkness and night. Listen to me."
Erik thought of the ridiculous situation that he was in. There he was, standing by his half-eaten gingerbread house with a snoring phangirl roped up near the lake, with two miniature Eriks standing on each shoulder, fighting for his approval. He ached for the consolation and refuge of his music. He groaned inwardly, knowing that it would never happen with a sticky chocolate organ.
"Erik," said the Shoulder Demon, with a voice as smooth as silk, "Think about it! This problematic phangirl happens to magically drop into your lair, and what better opportunity to test out your traps! She is your own personal guinea pig!"
"Ignore that silly red boy with the tail," cut in the Shoulder Angel, "Erik, all you have to do is make yourself seem revolting to her and she'll leave of her own accord! There is no need for violence!"
"Use your torture chamber on her!" the Shoulder Demon said gleefully.
The Shoulder Angel glared at him, "Use body odor to repel her!"
"Throw her to the sirens!"
"Dress like a hick!"
"Kick her through the trapdoors!"
"Eat like a pig!"
"Punjab her!"
"Silence!" Erik roared. The two Shoulder Eriks glowered at each other.
Grabbing a little Erik in each hand, Erik held them in front of his face, gritting his teeth, "I refuse to use force on an innocent girl, regardless of how much hell she may put me through. I also refuse to lower myself any further in disgrace. Despite my horrific face, Shoulder Angel, you of all people should know that I keep only the highest standards for my appearance!"
Erik then chuckled wryly at his current state of affairs.
"Who would have thought that I would come to this, that I would be drawn in a battle between my inner demon and inner conscience? Dark against light, evil against good?" He loosened his grip and replaced both little Eriks to their original positions.
"I am at a loss," he stated simply, "I need my house and my organ back, which I cannot get without the harebrained phangirl, who cannot speak a proper sentence without throwing herself onto me!"
"Erik..."
"What is it?" he snapped.
The two miniature Eriks stared vacantly at him and each other. "It wasn't us," replied the Shoulder Angel.
"Erik..."
His trained ears guided his head toward his gingerbread house. "Don't tell me my house is speaking to me."
"Come inside..."
Slowly, Erik picked his way through the crumbs and the half-eaten door with a disgusted expression on his face. Inside, he could see no one save for his furniture. His chocolate, caramel-and-strawberry encrusted furniture.
"Over here," the voice called.
Erik turned around to glance behind him to face a wall hanging. He gingerly pushed aside the fabric to reveal the mirror that he had hidden behind the drape. Instead of his own reflection, a face appeared inside the mirror.
"Hello, Erik," the mirror spoke, "I am your Magic Mirror, and I know exactly how to make PhantomPhanGurl leave and to restore everything as it once was before her appearance."
A/N: As always, I would greatly appreciate reviews on anything (style, content, plot, character...). PhantomPhanGurl will wake up soon, I promise! Thanks for reading!