Disclaimer: We do not own Gundam Wing and/or it's franchise. We didn't make any profit writing this story.

Warning: Wufei-ness, cliches, and much tongue in cheek

Author note: Co-written by TheSlyArbitrator and me. (Ok, so he wrote most of it). This is a two day Christmas Special and we hope you enjoy it.

December 6th

Tis the Season...

He spent the rest of the day helping Sally. At one point, the lid slipped off the blender causing whipped cream and strawberries to explode everywhere. Mostly on him. He stared at the mess in disgust. It took almost an hour to clean up and by the end his shirt could have blended with Relena's limo.

A low whistle startled him on his way back upstairs to get a new shirt. "Don't tell me you're getting lazy." Sally teased. "Are those rolls I see?"

Flabbergasted Wufei blinked and looked down to his stomach to see if she spoke the truth. "I don't have any rolls!"

Sally laughed, "I was only joking. Chang Wufei would never let something like a fat roll sneak up on him."

Wufei scowled, sensing she was making fun of him and stalked up the stairs.

It was the house next door that they were investigating. Sally said she'd gotten a lead that indicated the owner might have been part of the group that planned the assassination. What they needed though was more information. Later that night Wufei gathered his equipment, idly noting that it was Christmas Eve. Lights were on in the house next door and cars had been pulling up all evening. Judging it to be as good of at time as any, he informed Sally that he was going into the house to investigate.

"Well, be careful. There's more activity going on than I'm comfortable with." She called after him.

Wufei nodded and then set off, running quickly and sticking to the low brick wall that surrounded the property. After examining the house, he realized he'd have to try one of the upstairs windows. Thankfully Sally had included a grappling gun with her field equipment. He fired upwards and the spear plunged into the brick high above his head.

Once he got to the top, he yanked the wire from the brick and reeled it back into the gun. Grabbing the ledge, he dropped, easily swinging over to the window. Wufei crouched down low as he landed, blowing quietly on his stinging fingers. The temperature was dropping. Examining the window, he noticed that all of them had a security device installed. He remembered Duo showing him this latest version, extremely excited by the complexity of it. Wufei didn't have the time or patience to try and dismantle them.

Climbing back up to the roof, Wufei looked around at his options. Seeing no other way in, he grimaced. "I'm going to demand a raise for this." He mumbled, glaring down into the dark narrow chimney.

His breath blew out in puffs of white as he lowered a rope into the hole. Snowflakes started to drift down and he brushed them off his shoulder, glaring briefly at the sky. Apparently Sally wasn't the only one getting into the season. The climate controllers were having a go as well. Ho bloody ho. Shaking his head one last time he sighed and started to lower himself down. Ash and soot fell on him and in his hair as he slid down.

"Damn person didn't clean their chimney for Santa?"

More soot and ash fell on him as he got further in. "Now I know there's no such thing as St. Nick." He grouched. "No way in hell an old fat geezer like that would fit through one of these things."

Realizing talking was only getting soot in his mouth, he clamped it shut but continued his rant, focusing on that rather than how narrow the chimney was and how smoke-like he was not.

Squirming, he tried to draw his shoulder blades in as much as possible to make the decent smoother. I can just see it. Law enforcement called up on Christmas morning. Some John Doe is lodged in the chimney. Death by asphyxiation. Though obesity not ruled out.

Employing an impressive vocabulary of swear words, he finally reached the bottom and landed on his butt. He quickly jumped up again though, cracking his head on the bricks. The bottom of the fireplace was banked with still warm coals.

"Who the hell uses a fireplace these days?" Wufei snarled quietly as he clutched his head and hopped about the room swatting at his smouldering rear. "Fireplaces. On a colony. You should have to put up a warning sign or something."

Still scowling he pulled his ponytail out and shook the soot out, trying to keep it as close to the fireplace as possible. The room was dark and stuffy and paintings hung on the walls. The mantle above the chimney had a small family crest. Wufei couldn't tell what the design was other than some sort of flying bird. Giving it one final curious glance, he quietly walked over to the one door in the room. Judging from the sounds coming from the crack under the door, there was a party in full swing on the other side. Carefully he tried the handle.

It was locked. Surprised, he glanced around the room and decided he'd ended up in someone's study. Spotting a heating duct on the wall, he walked over to examine it. He just might fit through there, it was a good thing he'd burned more of Sally's cookies than eaten.

Quickly unscrewing the duct cover, he dragged a chair over and crawled in. He grimaced and wiped a cobweb off his face. He was spending far too much time in dark, dirty and narrow places lately. Sliding inch by inch, he reached the room beyond and peeked through the small vents.

He'd been right about the Christmas party. A huge decorated tree stood in the corner while tinsel and mistletoe hung around the room. A group of people stood laughing holding glasses and a Santa Claus sat in a large green chair.

Oddly enough, he thought he recognized some of those people. Narrowing his eyes, he looked closer and growled under his breath. What the hell?

Suddenly, everything that had been bothering him since the beginning of this case clicked into place. Une's strange comments on the phone, Sally's odd behavior . . .

"So this is how it is, I should've known." Wufei glared, looking at the all to familiar faces below him.

Suddenly the grid over the duct made a groaning noise and he looked at it concerned. Trying to crawl backward to relieve the pressure, he felt the entire shaft shake. With a screech and thud, the heating duct tore free from its anchor and the cover flew off. Wufei had time to gasp before sliding down and spilling out into the air.

Heero looked up when he heard something that sound like metal ripping. He watched, startled, as Wufei came tumbling down from the ceiling and landed heavily on Santa's lap.

The Santa appeared rather shocked as he stared down at Wufei but then burst out laughing. "And what do you want for Christmas, little boy?"

Still chuckling, Santa's beard slid crooked and Wufei realized he was looking into eyes that belonged unmistakably to Duo Maxwell. Everyone in the room had become silent when he came crashing down and they stared for the length of several heartbeats. Soon though, the room was filled with laughter.

Between gasps, Duo managed,"You're supposed to ask for a present man, not try to jump Santa's bones."

Wufei growled and dropped his arms from where they clutched Duo around the shoulders struggling to free himself from the confines of the chair "Maxwell . . . I'm going to kill you. Slowly." Lunging for Duo's neck, he barely missed when the other man shot out of the chair, spilling Wufei onto the floor. Throwing a laughing comment about naughty boys and bags of coal, Duo tore up the stairs. Recovering quickly Wufei dashed after him, ignoring the laughter of the others in the room.

Later, Wufei rejoined the party to good-humored jests about his previous miraculous appearance. He hunted down Sally and found her talking to the Commander.

"Merry Christmas, Wufei."

He scowled and gestured to the room at large. "What is all this?"

Both women smiled but it was Sally who answered. "You always become so cranky and foul mouthed around this time of year. If we didn't know better, we'd think you hated the season or something. Everyone decided you needed to cheer up so we planned a party."

He folded his arms. "And the case we were working on?"

Une looked guilty and Sally grinned. "It was just a cover. Though we were expecting you to come in from the door, not the . . . " She trailed off when Wufei narrowed his eyes at her.

"It was locked." He ground out.

They looked puzzled. "I thought Duo was taking care of that."

He scowled but then looked around at everyone. They were all chatting and laughing; obviously having a good time. He sighed but then smiled a little wickedly. "Oh never mind. After all, Christmas comes but once a year."

Several hours later someone thought to ask about where their 'Santa' had gone. Wufei smirked. "Maybe he had a little too much of the Christmas spirit?"

Eventually the party wound down and everyone drifted home. A clock ticked over the hour. From upstairs came muffled bangs.

Twas the night before Christmas . . .

"Wufei?"

And all through the house . . .

"Let me out of this closet!"

Not a creature was stirring . . .

"Damn it."

Not even a mouse.

"Wufei!"

...fin...