This would be a conversation-drabble type thing...rated for a few 'bad' words and some entirely non-explicit snogging.
Disclaimer: I own these characters not, they being the property of Ms. JK Rowling. I own this setting not, it being the property of both HRM Queen Elizabeth II and Ms. JK Rowling. Frankly, the only thing I own right now is the complete season of Firefly on DVD...mmm...Firefly...
-ignore this bit of type completely. Hey, read the story, not this!-
It was a beautiful, starlit, summer night. The posies were blooming like nobody's business and the honeysuckle left fragrant suckleness in the air. The escorgent winds fluttered softly around the two young lovers who were ensconced on a log in the middle of a clearing. This clearing was located in the forest on the grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and today (well, tonight actually) it was the location of a most romantic scene.
However, this is not, in fact, a romantic story. This is a story about…well, hell, you'll see. Keep reading.
James Potter, captain of the Gryffindor House Quidditch team, and Lily Evans, Head Girl and also a member of Gryffindor House, were the two people currently occupying the aforementioned log in the aforementioned romantic clearing. It was also aforementioned, if you recall, that this was not a romantic story.
Therefore, the story takes you to the edge of the clearing wherein are ensconced three young men, none of whom are lovers (at least not with each other...), two of them being engrossed in spying on the two lovers in the clearing. For the third, and final time, this is not a romantic story so you need pay no further attention to Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans. Unless you're interested in that sort of thing, in which case this story is not for you.
The three young men in the bushes at the edge of the clearing are named Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew (A/N: Honestly, who did you think I was going to say?). Remus, being a rather modest and prudish youth, was studiously ignoring the sights and sounds emanating from the clearing. In fact, he was so studiously avoiding these things that he was studiously reading a book entitled...well, that's not really important. All you really need to know is that it is thick and full of quite tricky complex and compound sentences packed with words the length of a New York subway train. And, no, the book is not in German.
That leaves young Messrs. Sirius and Peter to be spying on the necking turtledoves. With that in mind, here's your story...
Sirius flopped down behind the bush currently designated 'Headquarters' with as much disgusted flair as he could while still being as quiet as possible. He elbowed the boy next to him, who happened to be Peter.
"I can see what's happening."
"What?" Peter was, understandably, confused.
"And they don't have a clue!" lamented Sirius.
"Who?" Peter was taking the immense chance that he was going to be thoroughly confused throughout this dialogue, by sheer dint of the other person speakingbeing Sirius.
"James and Lily, Peter." Remus, who had heretofore been completely absent from the conversation, replied.
Sirius, not paying the least bit of attention to his companions, continued to doggedly (aaahhh...bad pun...) pursue his subject, "They'll fall in love, and here's the bottom line: our trio's down to two."
Peter grimaced, "Oh."
That particular bit of melodrama finally forced Remus to look up from his book in sheer exasperation, "Newsflash Padfoot: James and Lily are ALREADY in love. And for the record, we're a quartet, not a trio."
"The sweet caress of twilight..." Sirius was dreamily whisper singing, completely ignoring his canine compadre.
Remus, who had returned to his book, muttered, "At least it's not full moon..." under his breath.
"...there's magic everywhere!" This accompanied by wild sweeping hand gestures from Sirius.
Peter, taken in by the whole song routine, gasped excitedly.
"Well no shit, Sherlock." Remus grumbled.
"And in all this ro-man-tic atmosphere..." Sirius continued with his whisper warbling. His audience of two simultaneously leaned in avidly (Peter), and pointedly ignored the whole thing entirely (Remus).
"DISASTER'S in the air!"
Peter promptly fainted at this dire pronouncement. His head smacked Remus's leg on the way down, causing the other boy to look up from his book and at the offending body with mild interest. "You killed him."
Sirius, however, was in no mood to be concerned with such trivial matters. Flailing his arms wildly and nearly chopping a limb off the nearby bush he quietly shrieked, "Moony, what're we gonna DO?"
"What're we gonna do about what?" queried Remus, already re-engrossed in his book.
Utterly disgusted with the whole mess, Sirius replied, "Him. Her. Together."
Remus raised an eyebrow, "I could've sworn we spent the better part of two years, incurred the wrath of almost every teacher in the school along with that of many of our fellow students, risked our sanity, not to mention our lives AND paid that crook Mundungus an inordinate amount of money just to get those two together. You can't get cold feet now."
Sirius blinked at him.
Sighing, Remus returned to his reading, "I give up..."
Making the decision lightening quick in his completely unfathomable mind that his best friend was a lost cause and the brains of the outfit wasn't going to be any help, Sirius turned to other pursuits for relief from boredom. At the moment, that consisted of poking Peter with his wand until the still unconscious boy turned purple from head to foot.
-again with the whole ignore type thing-
Um, yeah. Lion King and the Mauraders really, really late at night. Surprisingly enough, this took little to no effort...it kinda sprang from my mendulla oblangata fully formed. Which is enough to create an immense headache, believe you me. Incidentally, you know who I've always kind of pictured Remus as? Wes off Angel...it seems to kind of fit...mild mannered and bookish most of the time, but don't threaten him with a sword...er, well, a wand I suppose. And that accent! Whoo...'scuse me, I have to go mop up the drool now...