Warning: Heero-centric, angst, friendship

Author note: Thank you to everyone who has followed these stories throughout the month of December. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas.

December 25th

Live for Tomorrow

When I woke up that morning, I'd thought my biggest problem was that I had to work on Christmas. Not that it was really a problem; but it would have been nice to pretend I was normal.

I coughed, down on my hands and knees in the snow and gingerly touched my face.

Fuck.

When I woke up that morning I'd also had two eyebrows.

Looking up, I continued to cough, watching the two-story house in front of me burn. Inside the Christmas lights around the tree popped and exploded in a shower of sparks and the tree went up in a ball of flame.

I swore and dropped to my stomach, face buried in the snow and tried to avoid the wave of heat and sparks that came rushing out through the broken window.

A few feet a way, lying in the snow and ash was a dog. He was just lying there, whining a little but at least he was alive. I'd gone inside to find that damn dog so he'd better be alive.

It wasn't even my dog. And it certainly wasn't my house. I'd been positioned there for the week; monitoring the taps we'd placed on the phones and in the rooms. The guy that owned the place was under Preventer surveillance, believed to have close contacts with a major drug smuggler we'd been trying to bring in.

The family had gone out that evening to see a ballet. The Nutcracker, which was apparently a family tradition according to a conversation recorded between the wife and a friend on the phone. Which was why I'd known the dog was the only living thing in the house when a black car had driven by, tossing what looked like a Molotov Cocktail through the window.

I hate dogs. They say that time heals all wounds, well I wish it'd hurry up and close mine. Maybe that's why I didn't even think twice about crashing into the burning house and searching all over the place before dragging the damn thing out from under a bed and out into the snow.
If that puppy had grown up, he might have looked a lot like this one. I scowled and crawled over to the thing. It'd stopped making noises and I nudged it.

"Hey. Dog." My voice was raspy and I could barely speak. It didn't move or respond and I shoved it again, willing it to open its eyes and look at me.

"Don't you dare die you flea bitten bastard!"

I choked, coughs racking my body and it felt like my throat was being stripped with a vegetable peeler. Eyes watering, I scooped up a handful of not very clean snow and melted it in my mouth before swallowing it.

Shit, that hurt.

Smoke inhalation, scorched throat, possible second degree burns. You won't win any beauty pageants, Yuy.

Ignoring the pain and running commentary, I took another handful and melted it. Going back to the dog, I lifted its head and opened its mouth as wide as I could, spitting the snow in. I quickly closed it before the water could drip out.

The dog didn't respond and I shook it once more before collapsing onto my back in the snow.

Just fucking great.

What the hell was I doing here? I could be anywhere else; a nameless face in a sea of people, or keeping an eye on Relena during her Christmas address, or even just sitting in my apartment drinking beer and watching television. Hell, I could be breaking into a bank through the computer. Anything was better than this.

Join Preventers they said. Get a chance to save the world, they said.

Been there, done that, had the medal. I think anyway. I threw mine away but I was pretty Duo had rescued it from the trash. He probably had it tucked away somewhere safe.

I'd swore that I would never kill again. I made them promise that if I joined Preventers I wouldn't be assigned field or wet work. What I did was security, hacking and occasionally surveillance.

So much for that promise. I didn't think racing into burning buildings was part of my contract. I winced and scooped some snow to drop on my stinging face. I wondered how much the going rate for a new eye brow was these days.

Lying on my back I stared at the sky and listened to the house burn. I wasn't cold, which was nice, though I could do without all the smoke. The night sky always seemed so much clearer during the winter for some reason. I amused myself by playing connect the dots with the constellations. After a while I could finally hear sirens and snorted. Shitty response time, it'd been at least forty minutes since the bomb was first tossed.

Despite the sirens growing louder and the heat which was getting stronger, I continued to lay in the snow next to the dog. It felt fitting. Maybe I'd just stay here.
Suddenly a figure appeared, blocking my view of the sky. I squinted and looked up to find Trowa standing above me. He held out his hand and I stared at it for a second before reaching up and grabbing it.

Guess I'd have to leave the constellations for another day.

Duo was standing with Wufei shaking his head at me. "You know you've only got one eye brow?"

I coughed, leaning on Trowa and lifted a hand to flip Duo off. He laughed.

Quatre was crouched down by the dog and I tried to get his attention but my voice only croaked. Duo seemed to understand what I wanted though because he glanced over and called out Quatre's name.

Quatre looked up and I pointed toward the dog. His shoulders drooped and he shook his head.

I looked down at the snow and swallowed. Clenching my fists, I tried to yell but only a hollow rasping sound came out.

"Use this." I looked up in time to see Wufei pass his jacket to Quatre who used it to cover the body of the dog. The golden fur disappeared under the Preventer issued jacket and I sagged.

Leaning against Trowa, I coughed, unable to stop, tears pouring down my face. Duo handed me a bottle of water and I managed to get the coughing stopped but not the tears.

I knew what the dog's name had been. Sammy. And Sammy had been in trouble a lot that week for tearing into Christmas presents. He'd liked playing ball in the backyard but sucked at finding it when it got dropped in the snow.

As far as dogs go, he'd been a rather nice one.

My skin felt tight from the heat and the tears were burning my eyes. My nose was running and mucus was making it harder to breath. I stood in the snow, staring at the lump under Wufei's jacket, crying and trying to scream but unable to make a sound.

Arms reached around and pulled me close. I could feel Duo's braid against my shoulder and Wufei's bare arm against my cheek. Trowa held me up on one side and Quatre came around to the other.

They held me close but didn't tell me it was ok. Because it wasn't.

Today it hurt. And it wasn't ok. But maybe some day it would be. Because it wasn't me lying under that jacket in the snow. Somebody had come along and pulled me up. Some day it would be my turn to die, but not yet. Not today.
Today I hadn't been able to save that dog. Today I watched a house burn down. Today I wept and shook with failure.

But you are alive. That's what they told me. You are alive. So don't cry forever. Because tomorrow, well tomorrow will be a chance to try again.