"Max... " Terry let out a loud, exasperated sigh and spoke with the snap of irritation. "Will you stop hovering over me?"
"Maybe I could if I didn't know you decided to be muley-headed and leave the hospital three days sooner than your doctor wanted."
He had wanted to leave as soon as he came to his senses in the recovery room. Fortunately he was too weak to do more than complain and fall asleep again. The next day he was stronger and more adament about his desire, repeatedly asking her to help get him out of the place.
Bruce and Barbara had used all of their considerable influence to keep Terry's presence in the hospital secretive. But the longer he stayed the more chance that the news would be leaked to the public. Having to deal with the media would add difficulty to an already strained situation. So Bruce arranged for Terry's release against strong objections from the doctors.
"Doctors." Terry snorted. "What do they know anyway?"
"They knew enough to perform the major surgery it took to keep you from bleeding to death."
"Yeah, well, they did their part. I can do the rest of the healing on my own. By myself Max." He glared up at her. "I don't need you or Bruce standing around waiting for me to fall on my face so you can pick me up again."
"We're watching over you to keep you from falling on your face." She emphasized with a forced grin.
He scowled, stiffness of myraid healing scratches and fading bruises on his face making the expression difficult to achieve. "I'm fine!"
"You forget how well I know you McGinnis." Her voice rose in pitch. "I'll tell you when you get to that point. Now eat!" Maxine turned on her heel and exited the room before she let her anger explode completely. What in the Lord's name was she doing trying to be nice to him? Far from appreciating her efforts he was throwing them back at her with a vengence. He wanted to be left alone, but as much as she wanted to give in to his desire she could not. Intuition told her to remain steadfast because if he ever needed her help, it was now.
Terry refused to speak of what had happened to him. When she or Bruce cautiously broached the subject an intangible wall would build around him and he became stubbornly mute. The clues Bruce had put together had not been enough to come up with a viable theory as to why Terry was taken and by whom. He did not appear concerned about it though. In fact, since the moment the doctor had come from surgery to tell them Terry should make a full recovery Bruce seemed-- at peace. None of Terry's continued closed-mouth attitude or anti-social behaviour appeared to phase him in the least. Maxine found it ironic that she now considered Bruce pleasant company compared to Terry when it had been for so long the opposite.
Still in a huff, Maxine rejoined Bruce in the mansion dining room and took her place beside the immense table. Her portion of the meal she had cooked for all three of them was waiting. Bruce said nothing as she plunked herself down and began forking food into her mouth, chewing and swallowing mechanically, not tasting any of it. Observing her stabbing angrily at salad leaves that evaded fork tines, Bruce asked quietly,
"Are you all right?"
Her fork came down on the plate with a loud chinking sound, her face mirroring frustration. "Why won't he talk about it? Wouldn't it be better if he did? Doesn't sharing the burden make it easier to endure?
I want to help him."
"You are." Bruce replied with soft conviction. "Just by being here is helping him more than you realize. He never did quite accept the fact that you left."
"I let you both down didn't I?"
"Everyone has to follow their own path."
She sighed and nodded. "So what happens now? What else can we do for him?"
"Give him time. It hasn't been that long yet. You have to keep in mind that like any other victim he has to go through a grieving process. He had to go through the same thing when his father was killed. This time it's even more personal."
"I never thought of it that way." Max murmured mulling over Bruce's explanation. "Batman as a victim of crime."
"Even before the moment he lost control of the car he had become the target of calculated abuse. I haven't found a single sign that would indicate he had managed any kind of defense much less an offense. Not a mark on the car or the suit and the pattern of the beating- the placement of the blows on his body were meant for torture."
Maxine shuddered inwardly as her imagination brought to life a vivid picture of someone hitting Terry while he was totally helpless to stop them or protect himself. The revulsion turned with surprising suddeness to a burning rage inside her. The intensity of hatred toward the unknown torturers consumed her for a moment. Never before had she felt such emotion, the power of it filling her. Revenge. Realization that she just might be capable of harming another human being frightened her. The heated flush of emotion caused a physical reaction in her body. She began to perspire and her head spun dizzily as conflicting urges clashed in her mind. Blindly she pushed away from the table. "I need to go for a walk."
Bruce watched her go, heard the door thud shut behind her retreating form. A part of him empathized with her distress. The very thing she had dreaded for so long had become a reality. Distance, gained by rational, mental decision and a span of physical length had not been enough. She had become linked to Terry-- to Batman despite her best efforts to keep her identity seperate from his.
His intitial objection to her involvement in the secret of Batman had, thankfully, proven unfounded. She was capable, smart and truly felt a kinship to Batman's cause and not surprisingly, to Terry himself. Bruce had grown to admire how well she balanced her duties as Batman's resourceful backup with her feelings for the man inside the suit.
Over the years it had become clear to Bruce how strong Max's feelings had developed for Terry. When the dangers came for Batman, Terry could not see the reactions that Max tried to subdue at her post in the cave. He only heard her voice, steady and upbeat, while Bruce had witnessed her undergoing numerous nervous movements that showed the tension she was dealing with.
Batman's intense drive of this past year had compelled Maxine to make a difficult choice. Though she did not complain or confide anything to him and the performance of her duties did not falter, Bruce saw evidence of the long term strain she did not bother hiding from him like she did from Terry.
It was after one harrowing experience Batman underwent that prompted Bruce to voice his concern for her. The incident was finished. Batman was all right and heading home. As soon as Max closed the link with him she buried her face in her hands and began to cry.
From a distance Bruce could see her body shaking with the almost soundless sobs. He went to her, leaned against the computer console for support and placed a tentative gnarled hand on her shoulder. The words came awkwardly, but not as awkward as they would have been thirty years ago.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Keeping her face tilted down Max sniffed, shook her head and dabbed at her wet nose and eyes with the edge of her shirt sleeve. Bruce sympathized.
"I know it's harder being on the outside of the action than in the middle of it. You feel like you have no control at all instead of being the one in control. No one likes to feel helpless."
Maxine lifted dark glistening eyes to him. Anger in her voice, she gestured to the screen.
"He's insane." Her head bobbed wildly up and down then she pointed at Bruce. "You're insane." She pulled a hunk of hair away from her head. "I'm going insane." Her arms lifted to encompass the immensity of the cave, voice rising in pitch. "This whole thing is insanity!" Hands pressed now against her temples, she glared at Bruce who eyed her calmly while she continued to rant. "He's going to get himself killed one of these times and then where will we be? Huh? Can you tell me? And for what?! The people in this city don't give a damn about all that he's done for them. In fact, when they do make a comment it's usually about how he doesn't do enough or what he did was wrong."
"He's not doing this for recognition Max." Bruce stated easily.
"What is he doing it for then? Why is he pushing himself so hard when he's questioning his motivation more and more? Wouldn't it make more sense if he'd slow down, step back or even stop for awhile to see where exactly it is he wants to go?"
"Sensible. That would be your style of handling the situation. But you and I both know that Terry isn't much on contemplating. Especially if it's not something he's feeling guilty about. He'll find the answers in his own way."
Maxine shook her head in disagreement. "No, he's not trying to find answers. He's just waiting for something to happen. There's a big difference."
"Maybe after that 'something' happens he'll have the answer he's looking for."
Her head was shaking in the negative again. "Barbara is right. Admit it Bruce. Terry is obsessed with Batman. He can't separate the two anymore."
Bruce grinned wryly. "I think you're asking that question to the wrong person."
"I guess you're right about that." Max muttered, reaching down beside the chair for her personal bag and digging a tissue out of it to wipe at her reddened eyes.
Bruce shifted his position to ease stiff muscles as he spoke. "I don't think obsessed is the right word. I think he's very intent on examining who he is right now. He's pushing himself to discover the limits of his potential and probably... subconsciously, competing with the Batman he thinks I once was. He's set some kind of mental 'bar' for himself that he thinks he has to leap over before considering himself worthy of the name."
Maxine finished blowing her nose and uttered reproachfully. "Men! Everything is competition or acquisition or accomplishment. Never satisfied to live the moment. Always looking ahead to climb to a new level."
So amused by her statement, Bruce actually smiled and replied tongue-in-cheek. "What about you Max. Are you living in the moment or is there something else you feel you should be doing besides trying to pretend you don't love Terry." He knew his rare attempt at humor failed miserably when Max flashed him an expression of shock that settled quickly into grim acceptance. He saw tears welling in her eyes again.
"I can't do this anymore Bruce. But I'm afraid what it will do to both of you if I leave."
Sighing heavily, Bruce scrubbed a hand across the contours of his chin. His vaunted insight had unwittingly gotten him into trouble without having planned it. Something that seemed to be happening more as he got older. He sighed again. "You won't do either of us any good if you stick around under duress and we have to witness you gradually 'going off the deep end'. Take care of yourself Maxine. That would be best for all of us. It'll be difficult for awhile after you leave, but I'm sure Terry and I can make a successful
adjustment."
That particular episode took place almost two months before Maxine actually left for Amurst.
"Maybe I could if I didn't know you decided to be muley-headed and leave the hospital three days sooner than your doctor wanted."
He had wanted to leave as soon as he came to his senses in the recovery room. Fortunately he was too weak to do more than complain and fall asleep again. The next day he was stronger and more adament about his desire, repeatedly asking her to help get him out of the place.
Bruce and Barbara had used all of their considerable influence to keep Terry's presence in the hospital secretive. But the longer he stayed the more chance that the news would be leaked to the public. Having to deal with the media would add difficulty to an already strained situation. So Bruce arranged for Terry's release against strong objections from the doctors.
"Doctors." Terry snorted. "What do they know anyway?"
"They knew enough to perform the major surgery it took to keep you from bleeding to death."
"Yeah, well, they did their part. I can do the rest of the healing on my own. By myself Max." He glared up at her. "I don't need you or Bruce standing around waiting for me to fall on my face so you can pick me up again."
"We're watching over you to keep you from falling on your face." She emphasized with a forced grin.
He scowled, stiffness of myraid healing scratches and fading bruises on his face making the expression difficult to achieve. "I'm fine!"
"You forget how well I know you McGinnis." Her voice rose in pitch. "I'll tell you when you get to that point. Now eat!" Maxine turned on her heel and exited the room before she let her anger explode completely. What in the Lord's name was she doing trying to be nice to him? Far from appreciating her efforts he was throwing them back at her with a vengence. He wanted to be left alone, but as much as she wanted to give in to his desire she could not. Intuition told her to remain steadfast because if he ever needed her help, it was now.
Terry refused to speak of what had happened to him. When she or Bruce cautiously broached the subject an intangible wall would build around him and he became stubbornly mute. The clues Bruce had put together had not been enough to come up with a viable theory as to why Terry was taken and by whom. He did not appear concerned about it though. In fact, since the moment the doctor had come from surgery to tell them Terry should make a full recovery Bruce seemed-- at peace. None of Terry's continued closed-mouth attitude or anti-social behaviour appeared to phase him in the least. Maxine found it ironic that she now considered Bruce pleasant company compared to Terry when it had been for so long the opposite.
Still in a huff, Maxine rejoined Bruce in the mansion dining room and took her place beside the immense table. Her portion of the meal she had cooked for all three of them was waiting. Bruce said nothing as she plunked herself down and began forking food into her mouth, chewing and swallowing mechanically, not tasting any of it. Observing her stabbing angrily at salad leaves that evaded fork tines, Bruce asked quietly,
"Are you all right?"
Her fork came down on the plate with a loud chinking sound, her face mirroring frustration. "Why won't he talk about it? Wouldn't it be better if he did? Doesn't sharing the burden make it easier to endure?
I want to help him."
"You are." Bruce replied with soft conviction. "Just by being here is helping him more than you realize. He never did quite accept the fact that you left."
"I let you both down didn't I?"
"Everyone has to follow their own path."
She sighed and nodded. "So what happens now? What else can we do for him?"
"Give him time. It hasn't been that long yet. You have to keep in mind that like any other victim he has to go through a grieving process. He had to go through the same thing when his father was killed. This time it's even more personal."
"I never thought of it that way." Max murmured mulling over Bruce's explanation. "Batman as a victim of crime."
"Even before the moment he lost control of the car he had become the target of calculated abuse. I haven't found a single sign that would indicate he had managed any kind of defense much less an offense. Not a mark on the car or the suit and the pattern of the beating- the placement of the blows on his body were meant for torture."
Maxine shuddered inwardly as her imagination brought to life a vivid picture of someone hitting Terry while he was totally helpless to stop them or protect himself. The revulsion turned with surprising suddeness to a burning rage inside her. The intensity of hatred toward the unknown torturers consumed her for a moment. Never before had she felt such emotion, the power of it filling her. Revenge. Realization that she just might be capable of harming another human being frightened her. The heated flush of emotion caused a physical reaction in her body. She began to perspire and her head spun dizzily as conflicting urges clashed in her mind. Blindly she pushed away from the table. "I need to go for a walk."
Bruce watched her go, heard the door thud shut behind her retreating form. A part of him empathized with her distress. The very thing she had dreaded for so long had become a reality. Distance, gained by rational, mental decision and a span of physical length had not been enough. She had become linked to Terry-- to Batman despite her best efforts to keep her identity seperate from his.
His intitial objection to her involvement in the secret of Batman had, thankfully, proven unfounded. She was capable, smart and truly felt a kinship to Batman's cause and not surprisingly, to Terry himself. Bruce had grown to admire how well she balanced her duties as Batman's resourceful backup with her feelings for the man inside the suit.
Over the years it had become clear to Bruce how strong Max's feelings had developed for Terry. When the dangers came for Batman, Terry could not see the reactions that Max tried to subdue at her post in the cave. He only heard her voice, steady and upbeat, while Bruce had witnessed her undergoing numerous nervous movements that showed the tension she was dealing with.
Batman's intense drive of this past year had compelled Maxine to make a difficult choice. Though she did not complain or confide anything to him and the performance of her duties did not falter, Bruce saw evidence of the long term strain she did not bother hiding from him like she did from Terry.
It was after one harrowing experience Batman underwent that prompted Bruce to voice his concern for her. The incident was finished. Batman was all right and heading home. As soon as Max closed the link with him she buried her face in her hands and began to cry.
From a distance Bruce could see her body shaking with the almost soundless sobs. He went to her, leaned against the computer console for support and placed a tentative gnarled hand on her shoulder. The words came awkwardly, but not as awkward as they would have been thirty years ago.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Keeping her face tilted down Max sniffed, shook her head and dabbed at her wet nose and eyes with the edge of her shirt sleeve. Bruce sympathized.
"I know it's harder being on the outside of the action than in the middle of it. You feel like you have no control at all instead of being the one in control. No one likes to feel helpless."
Maxine lifted dark glistening eyes to him. Anger in her voice, she gestured to the screen.
"He's insane." Her head bobbed wildly up and down then she pointed at Bruce. "You're insane." She pulled a hunk of hair away from her head. "I'm going insane." Her arms lifted to encompass the immensity of the cave, voice rising in pitch. "This whole thing is insanity!" Hands pressed now against her temples, she glared at Bruce who eyed her calmly while she continued to rant. "He's going to get himself killed one of these times and then where will we be? Huh? Can you tell me? And for what?! The people in this city don't give a damn about all that he's done for them. In fact, when they do make a comment it's usually about how he doesn't do enough or what he did was wrong."
"He's not doing this for recognition Max." Bruce stated easily.
"What is he doing it for then? Why is he pushing himself so hard when he's questioning his motivation more and more? Wouldn't it make more sense if he'd slow down, step back or even stop for awhile to see where exactly it is he wants to go?"
"Sensible. That would be your style of handling the situation. But you and I both know that Terry isn't much on contemplating. Especially if it's not something he's feeling guilty about. He'll find the answers in his own way."
Maxine shook her head in disagreement. "No, he's not trying to find answers. He's just waiting for something to happen. There's a big difference."
"Maybe after that 'something' happens he'll have the answer he's looking for."
Her head was shaking in the negative again. "Barbara is right. Admit it Bruce. Terry is obsessed with Batman. He can't separate the two anymore."
Bruce grinned wryly. "I think you're asking that question to the wrong person."
"I guess you're right about that." Max muttered, reaching down beside the chair for her personal bag and digging a tissue out of it to wipe at her reddened eyes.
Bruce shifted his position to ease stiff muscles as he spoke. "I don't think obsessed is the right word. I think he's very intent on examining who he is right now. He's pushing himself to discover the limits of his potential and probably... subconsciously, competing with the Batman he thinks I once was. He's set some kind of mental 'bar' for himself that he thinks he has to leap over before considering himself worthy of the name."
Maxine finished blowing her nose and uttered reproachfully. "Men! Everything is competition or acquisition or accomplishment. Never satisfied to live the moment. Always looking ahead to climb to a new level."
So amused by her statement, Bruce actually smiled and replied tongue-in-cheek. "What about you Max. Are you living in the moment or is there something else you feel you should be doing besides trying to pretend you don't love Terry." He knew his rare attempt at humor failed miserably when Max flashed him an expression of shock that settled quickly into grim acceptance. He saw tears welling in her eyes again.
"I can't do this anymore Bruce. But I'm afraid what it will do to both of you if I leave."
Sighing heavily, Bruce scrubbed a hand across the contours of his chin. His vaunted insight had unwittingly gotten him into trouble without having planned it. Something that seemed to be happening more as he got older. He sighed again. "You won't do either of us any good if you stick around under duress and we have to witness you gradually 'going off the deep end'. Take care of yourself Maxine. That would be best for all of us. It'll be difficult for awhile after you leave, but I'm sure Terry and I can make a successful
adjustment."
That particular episode took place almost two months before Maxine actually left for Amurst.