The final count down: dun dun duuuuuun
By hp-lover-4-ever co. written by Lady of the Frozen black flame
Summery: If you want to hear of Dark Wizards of all time breaking down and extreme randomness please read.
Disclaimer: my friend and I do not own HP even if we had a time turner…
hp-lover-4-ever: "LOTFBF have you found that spare time turner of mine yet? 'cause I lost my other one when I tried to take over hp last time."
LOTFBF: "ummm… nup not yet… Wait why am I looking for it, it was your fault last time!"
Hp-lover-4-ever: (shakes her head) "never mind!"
Both: Enjoy our fanfic!
Scene: The Borrow
In the kitchen…
The Weasley's, Hermione and some members of the Order of the Phoenix were sitting in the Kitchen eating dinner when they heard a loud pop! They turned around to see the Dark Lord Voldemort and his gang of death eaters.
Voldemort: Mahahaha! It is time to die Potter! (Turns to find Harry) Where is Potter?
Ginny: Oh, you're a bit early… Harry doesn't come here until…(trails off and checks script) another 5 lines.
Voldemort: Ohhhh!
Bill: And you're not supposed to be here in this scene, the final count down is at the ice cream shop!
Voldemort: The ice cream shop?
Hermione: Yeah, the ice cream shop that's on Druley Lane (a/n from Shrek where muffin man lives)
Ron: I like ice cream…mmmmm ice cream
Mr. Weasley and Harry apparated in this room this moment.
Ginny: Seeeee? How did I know?
Charlie: you read the script!
Ginny: That doesn't mean that anyone else knows! And I thought that we were going to keep that a secret for exchange of me not telling everyone that you sniff past girlfriend's underwear.
Everyone: EEEEEW!
Death eater gang: Too much! Toooooo muuuuuuuch!
Harry: Ohhh kaaaaay? Why are you here? You're not supposed to be here, you're supposed to be at the ice cream shop!
Voldemort: Why does everyone know this but me?
Mr. Weasley: You haven't read the script have you!
Voldemort: No sir… (Looks down at the ground ashamed)
Mr. Weasley: and what have I told about not reading the script?
Voldemort: that I would be sent to my room for 5 minutes and we would talk about my actions.
Gred and feorge: Bad Voldy… Evil Voldy! (brings out an evil looking instrument)
Voldemort: Noooo not the evil thingy anything but the evil thingy!
Authoresses: hey stick to the script people! We didn't make it for nothing!
Everybody: Sorry!
Voldemort: Mahahahaha! It's time to die Potter!
Ginny: (brings out platter with the word Deyjavu on it) Deyjavu anyone!
Voldemort: Well they said stick to the script!
Voldemort creates barrier that surround Harry and himself.
Authoresses: hey you were supposed to duel at the ice cream shop!
Everyone: oh can it!
Authoresses look incredibly cut.
Voldemort: Scared Potter
Harry: You wish.
Authoresses: now everybody one… two… three…
Everyone: Deyjavu anyone!
Voldemort: Am I missing something here?
Death Eaters: Just get on with the script we're tired of keeping a scowl on!
Bellatrix: My cheek muscles are sore!
Voldemort: Okay okay keep your scowls on.
All death eaters groan
Minute of silence…
Voldemort: (breaks silence by..) It's the final count down! (a/n if people don't know this is, it is a song and it is not ours… sorry forgot to mention in disclaimer)
Death Eaters groan
Bellatrix: Did I mention my mouth muscles hurt!
Another moment of silence…
Voldemort: Abra kadabra (meant to say Avada Kedavra)
Silence… everyone looks at him
Voldemort: Bloody He-!
Ron: hey J.k Rowling didn't give me that line for nothing you know! Without that all I would be is a boring sidekick!
Voldemort: oh sorry! (goes into deep thought)
Everybody waits in anticipation…
Voldemort: How about… Crap! (Looks at Ron)
Ron: Fine by me now go back to kicking each other's butts!
Voldemort: Avada Keblaba
Everyone looks at him again…
Voldemort: Don't tell me I didn't do it again!
Everyone nodds head
Voldemort : Crap! (Checks script) ah it's Avada Kedavra, I knew something was up.
Authoresses exchange looks..
Hp-lover-4-ever: well duh!
LOTFBF: Didn't you kills like loads of people with that curse?
Voldemort: well I wrote it at the back of my hand, I mean, it's such a hard curse to pronounce!
Authoresses: well they didn't mention any of that in the books!
Harry: can we please get back to the plot I want to kill this guy once and for all you know!
Voldemort: Avada Keblahverha… NOOOOOO NOT AGAIN!
(Voldemort shrinks into the fetal position sobbing extremely loud)
Authoresses: NOO. It happens every time, why do they have to break down, WHY!
Harry: Are you sure you're the dark lord Voldemort?
Voldemort: Who do you think I am, the Boggy Man?
Mrs. Weasley: Well… If you had a nose job I think you would look exactly like him.
Percy: You know the Boggy Man?
Mrs. Weasley: That's none of your business!
All Weasley children look at her…
Mrs. Weasley: Ummm… look You-know-who is having a mental break down and the authoresses are going nuts!
Authoresses: Hey we're not nuts! And what's this about you and the boggy Man?
Lucius: Is the whole world going crazy!
Draco: Only you dad! And stop embarrassing me! People are looking at me! I have a reputa-
Voldy: NOOOOOOOO! Don't sac me I'm way better than…Teddy!
Authoresses have evil grin on face.
Death Eaters: dun dun duuuuuun!
Everyone looks at Teddy…
Snape: My teddy! Nobody looks at my teddy like that…(caresses bear) don't worry teddy everything will be all right…
Prof. McGonagall: I thought he got over teddy in 5th grade?...
Prof. Lupin: Nah we just hid it from him! (Evil grin spreading across his face)
Everyone: I thought you were supposed to be the good one!
Prof. Lupin: it just shows to the world that everyone has secrets!
Random Death Eater: what happened to Boldy?
Draco: Don't you mean Voldy not Boldy?
Random death eater: But his bold… riiight..?
Voldemort: Do you see the ridicule that I have to put with?
Harry hugs Voldemort
Harry: Don't worry I get all the time with being the so called "the chosen one" thing, how do you think I feel…
Harry and Voldemort hug once more.
Everyone: AWWWW….
Ginny: does that mean they're gay?
Gred and feorge: probably
Hermione: But when have you been right?
Gred: true
Feorge: very true.
Harry: Now let's get back to killing each other.
Voldemort: but I would have to say Avada Kedavra! (Wand pointing to ground where own foot lay) (foots dead)
Authoresses: Yay! He got it right!
Voldy: Ow my foot… I can't feel my foot! (Shakes foot vigorously)
Voldemort: Damn! Oh well!
Harry: Can I kill you now?
Voldemort: Only if you can catch my 'cause I'm Voldemort! Mahahaha! (Runs…hit's barrier surrounding them)
Voldemort: Bloody He-!
Ron: (cough) (cough)! (Tapping foot in progress)
Voldemort: Oh… I mean crap! I've gotta stop doing that especially running into that bloody barrier!
Voldemort disengages barrier and runs off and almost colliding with the Weasley's kitchen door.
Voldemort: Damn! (Runs out with out further delay)
Avery: Oh great! We're dead! (Runs out following his master)
Random Death eater: Does that mean we need a new master?
Lucius: I'll be your master! See I can do the laugh… mahahahaa! (Sounds like opera voice)
Bellatrix: Ahhhhh! No way! (Follows Lord Voldemort outside) I'm coming master there's no way I'm having an opera singer for my master!
Authoresses: (holds out teddy) How about him as your master?
Snape: Teddy I'm sooo pround of you! (Tear coming out of eye)
Death Eaters: Hail the Dark Lord Teddy!
Harry: What about Lord Voldemort?
Authoresses: Well, we were going to sac him anyway!
Harry: But can I still kill him?
Authoresses: (shrug) If you want to!
And so from that moment on Teddy became the most feared wizard of all time.
Hp-lover-4-ever: And He was a bigger hit than Voldemort!
LOTFBF: Amen to that!
(A/n The mistakes of Avada Kedavra curse came from hp-lover-4-ever when she accidentally spoke to fast and tripped over the words (not literally) I hope you liked our fan fic! We are wondering if you want us to make a sequel about Mrs. Weasley and the boggy Man? Tell us your thoughts. PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW FOR US!)