All I Want For Christmas – "Epilogue"
He awoke alone hours later in the semi-darkness of the lounge room.
Almost instantly he felt himself shiver.
She was right.
It really was cold around here without the fire.
He rubbed his eyes and yawned.
The clock said five past five.
He must have fallen asleep on the couch.
"Daddy…"
The little shadow on the couch beside him caused him to startle and open his eyes wide.
"Scott!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing up?"
The little shadow didn't flinch.
"I wanted to see if Santa Claus was real."
"Errr…hmmm," he mumbled uncomfortably in his disarrayed 'white beard'. "I see."
"I thought you were him for a minute when I saw you sleeping on the couch. "
The little shadow moved closer seeking the warmth and security of his arms.
"Me? Santa Claus? Naw. I just dressed up like this in case he wanted someone to help him again. Guess I must have fallen asleep before the action huh?"
The little shadow nestled closer to his fur trimmed chest.
"Do you stay up to help Santa Claus with our presents every year, Daddy?"
His arms tightened around the sturdy little body. What to say, without saying anything. How to lie without really lying. How many times had he needed to do that to protect his children from the sadness of their reality in these past nine months?
"Most years I try to stay awake to help him out. Saves time with the delivery... you know."
"Did Mommy stay awake to help Santa Claus too?"
It hurt but he had to force himself to talk about her.
"Yes Scott. Mommy always did."
A curly little head nodded with understanding now comfortable with what he had witnessed from the stairwell last year.
"Daddy …"
"Yes Scott?"
"I wish..."
Instinctively he lowered his head to his little boy.
"I know ... I wish Mommy was here too Scott."
"Daddy ..."
"Hmm?"
"Can I look at what Santa Claus brought us for Christmas?"
"Now you should know better than to ask me that. Grandma will bust her nut if she catches us peeking at the presents."
"I know Daddy but I..."
"Go on."
"It's just that I need to know before the others wake up..."
"Know what?"
"If he's really real."
"Who?"
"Santa Claus, Daddy."
He smiled, rose from the couch and walked towards the Christmas tree with his eldest son in his arms.
"Well I won't tell Grandma if you don't," he whispered.
All he wanted for Christmas was to see his children happy and in the few minutes that followed with his precious eldest son, his only wish for Christmas was granted to him tenfold.
"Looooook Daddy ..." Scott breathed holding out the only thing he wanted for himself.
Tears welled in Jeff Tracy's eyes as he acknowledged the exquisite handwriting of his precious Lucille.
"It's the letter you wanted from Mommy," he said trying his hardest not to let the tears fall. "Looks like Santa Claus came through for you after all huh?".
"Daddy ..."
"I don't think Grandma would mind if I let you open something Santa brought to you from Mommy."
A nine year old child with a face of joy cautiously opened the envelope and went on to savour each and every word of the magical lines.
"She really wrote this Daddy... she did ... look ...see ... she called me pumpkin."
"Yep," he swallowed, remembering how much he used to detest Lucy calling him that. "Mommy really did."
The special letter.
The special clues.
All a little boy wanted for Christmas.
"To start our special journey the pumpkin needs something big ...
He makes a special wish and prayer and remembers there's a twig ...
He walks five paces to the left and that's as far he goes...
He walks ten paces to the back and tweaks his cute little nose.
He turns the way his fingers work and walks diagonally back.
The star is where my pumpkin is and where Santa Claus leaves his sack"
The two little hands rummaged eagerly underneath the Christmas Tree.
A silver package.
A special Christmas star.
And the special gift of giving that had allowed this moment to happen.