A/N: I highly doubt I'm sane right now! I am really, really, really hyper and sugar high, and bored! This story is very OOC, warning you now! FUNKYTOWN!

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING, NOTHING I TELL YOU!

The mansion was empty; absolutely no one was there, except for Professor, who was reading his book, he then heard a very scary sound, he opened up his desk, and pulled out a bright pink baby blanket, with ducks, pigs, doggies, and kitties all over it, the professor hugged his blankie lovingly.

That's when the Professor started to think," What am I doing? Reading? And holding my baby-banky boo? Charles you're an old man why do you still have a blanket! Hmm… no one's home, I finally get my well deserved privacy!"

So professor turned on some music really loud, and started dancing with his hands, that's when he had an idea," I think I should throw a party!"

And that's what he did, he threw a party! At first the party was filled with mingling ivy league grads, then Professor started thinking again, "this party is sooo boring! "

So the Prof made a few phone calls , and eventually the mansion was filled with Drinks, Whores, gambling, and a whole lot of things you wouldn't believe.

"Yes! Yes! Who's your Daddy! WHO'S YOUR MAC DADDY! WHO'S THE MOTHER FUCKING P.I.M.P! YOU ARE CHARLES! YES YOU ARE!" Professor shouted as he won a game of poker.

The party was getting wild! The polite ivy grads were TPing the mansion. Everyone was drunk, wasted and high, even (especially) the Professor, who at the moment was getting the name "Muffy" tattooed on his chest . Most of the partiers, we doing "things" in all the bed rooms, very dirty "things." ( and if you think Professor was an exception, you are so wrong!)

In the next few hours of partying, the X-men can back home , completely mystified and dumbfounded.

They all got the party goers out of the main floor, now all they had to do was get rid of all the partiers upstairs.

"HOLY SHIT!" Logan exclaimed when he saw a whole bunch of girls in his room.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" Rogue screamed like a little, prissy, girlie-girl, and covered her eyes.

"GET OUT!" Kitty shouted, she sounded a whole lot like Rogue minus the accent.

But before any "fun" could start Storm "shocked" everyone back to reality. "Where's the Professor?" Storm asked.

"Let's try his room,"Jean shrugged.

So, the nine of them went to the Professor's room. Logan opened the door, then he shut it quick.

"He's not in there." Logan said that as if he's never seen those certain THINGS, even though he has plenty of video tapes and magazines hidden in his room.

"May be I should check," Jamie said, holding a camera, he recently started to pick up photography.

"May be you shouldn't!" Scott grabbed poor Jamie by the collar, "let's try his study."

So they went into professor's study.

"OH!" Kurt couldn't finish his sentence

"MY!" Bobby couldn't finish either

"GAH!" Kitty said in her "Jessica Simpson" voice.

No the Professor or "CX Diddy" wasn't making out or doing very bad things ( though there were some girls getting dressed in the corner, no one really noticed) It was much worse, waaaaay worse!

Professor, Hugh (the play boy guy), and MAGNETO (dun, dun, DUN!) were all playing DDR. Of coarse Professor was using his hands instead of his feet, who knew Professor, used to be a gymnast?

"Ok team this is what we've been working for! ATTACK! "Scott yelled.

The X-men was just about to attack when," X-men Stand Down!" professor yelled, up side down.

"WHAT!" Logan yelled, his veins were popping out, and his face went from red to blue to purple, his face looked like a big bruise. " IS MASTERMIND PLAYING TRICKS WITH YOUR HEAD! HE IS THE ENEMY! CHUCK WE HAVE TO ATTACK!" Logan yelled, he was so stunned and shocked that he passed out.

Professor simply ignored Logan and took a swing of whisky, then he said," Me and Eric are just trying to rekindle out friendship." That's when Professor noticed something.

"Where is it?" professor asked.

"What?" Magneto asked.

"You know damn right!" Professor stopped his DDR, Hugh passed out.

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" Magneto replied.

At this moment, Rogue snuck out the window to meet a certain Cajun, Kitty and Kurt accidentally got a few swings of hard alcohol, stole Scott's car and went to Las Vegas.

Jean took a swing of wine and took Scott and made Scott a man (finally).

Storm started to play DDR

And Jamie, Jamie was making hundred of thousands of dollars ( may be millions) worth of Porn.

"X-MEN ATTACK!" Professor yelled, Magneto looked confused.

Logan snapped out of it and popped back up and said," Now that's what I'm talking about! "

Scott opened the closet door and said," I'm on it!" but then jean pulled him back, "I'm not on it!"

Logan was about to attack, but then he saw a whole bunch of beer and beef jerky, and he suddenly changed his mind.

"After this level!" Storm said in a monotone.

And at that minute the cops came, with a very drunk Kurt and Kitty, and they just went back into the study to play twister.

And the cops were so shocked after seeing all those illegal activities they passed out.

Rogue crashed in through the window on the back of Gambit's car.

"Let us play Twister!" Gambit said.

"Yes! A new level!" Storm said.

"GRRRRRRR! I WANT MY BLANKIE! MAGNET HEAD I KNOW YOU HAVE NOW GIVE IT BACK!" Professor cried.

"Damn! I don't have your blankie! You big cry baby!" Magneto said in a weird British accent.

"Fine!" professor grabbed Magneto's helmet.

"What are you doing Charles?" Magneto yelled in a now German accent.

"I'll do it!"

"NO!"

Professor then put Magneto's helmet on.

"WAHHHHHHHH! NOW IT HAS COOTIES!" Magneto started to bawl like a little baby, and a whole bunch of metal flew around every where, KOing the twisted twister players, who were in the most "sexual" knots ever.

"TIMBER!" Kurt yelled, as they all fell down.

"Eww! What's that smell?" Kitty "slept talked" it was Remy's bare foot with corns all over it. And Remy was "sleep kissing" Kurt's ass, but Remy thought it was Rogue. And Rogue was "sleep singing" a Whitney Houston song. And Kurt started to feel gassy, at let a whole bunch rip (on gambit's face). Gambit snapped out of it, unknotted everyone and drunkly walked over to Logan and started hitting on him as if he was Rogue. Logan started flirting back as if Gambit was that motorcycle that left him speechless that one time (A/N: remember that one episode when Scott was kidnapped by Mystique and Logan said that he saw a motorcycle so pretty that he forgot to speak and someone else bought it?).

"Why did you leave me?" Logan said.

Rogue started to cry, because Gambit left her for Logan ", He lied to me! Everyone lies to me! I'm so miserable!"

Kitty started to barf in the closet, that Scott and Jean were in, that's when Jamie came in and said, "This will make me a rich man!"

Kurt totally passed out and started to cuddle with a teddy bear that magically appeared.

Storm was still playing DDR.

Professor and Magneto were bawling. That's when …

"Oh Charlie!" a strange woman with a Nanny voice called.

"Muffy!" Professor called.

"I washed your Blankie for you, after that one guy barfed on it!" Muffy said.

"BABY BLANKIE BOO!" Professor shouted .

"See I told you! You big baby! Now bow down and apologize to me!" Magneto exclaimed .

"NO! Eric, you're the one who threw up on my blankie in the first place!" Professor said.

"Muffy, are you serious ? do you want to be a fifty year old man who cries for his blankie!" Magneto asked.

"I think it's cute!" Muffy replied.

"I'm going to rule the world and I have an asteroid!" Magneto said.

"Bye Charlie!" Muffy said, and she and Magneto left.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (takes a swing of Beer) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MUFFY!" Professor yelled.

At this point everyone was passed out, completely! Logan and gambit were on top of each other, Scott and Jean were on top of throw up, and kitty was on top of Scott. Only 2 people were awake, Storm who was still playing DDR, and Jamie who was out filming somewhere. The mansion was a huge mess!

"What'd I miss?" Hugh the playboy guy suddenly said out of nowhere.

Well, the cops busted everyone after the got up from passing out, everyone went t o jail. I would say why but um, that cop over there is eyeing me and I don't think I should. But I can tell you that once everyone came back home they all fainted cause they mansion was unbelievable .Professor felt satisfied, he felt young again and he got his blankie back, but he was still broken hearted because he lost Muffy, and he thinks of her every time he looks at his tattoo. Scott got Jean pregnant (say that ten times fast!) and they had octtuplets (that's eight!) Kurt and Kitty doesn't remember what happened, but Kitty developed a fear of bare feet. Gambit and Rogue got married, and Logan stole the motor cycle that was rightfully his, and married it. Jamie made millions, billions even! And is in the Guinness World Records because he's the youngest mutant director. Muffy was really a man, and boy was Magneto angry once he found out (and Muffy or Marty didn't tell him either). And Storm is still playing DDR, and claimed herself "Queen goddess of the Dance." And Hugh got beat up by Professor cause he took credit for the party, he lived but disappeared, no has seen him since.

A/N: I have officially lost it! Please don't kill me!