SO MUCH BETTER THAN STUDYING: Don't you guys agree? I've been so busy. Juggling school and a social life turns out to actually be quite a chore. Not to mention trying to keep this thing afloat. I loved the reviews the last chapter got. Especially the long ones. Those are always fun to read. And it was sad, but unfortunately things can't just instantly return to sunshine(angst alert). To ninalee-chan, yeah the perfection quote was just something I made up. I love when Vash gets all randomly philosophical and goes back to idiot mode like two seconds later. And kudos to puffin, you are very perceptive but Milly isn't expecting. Putting her arm over her stomach was just meant to symbolize her body in general. That that's what Nick had taken. So here's another chapterus(I like to make up words) and thank you all times infinity for the reviews. 300plus!

P.S. Guns 'N' Roses records do exist on Gunsmoke apparently.

The suns had long set by the time Meryl and Vash finally began their walk back towards the run down house outside the city. They'd buried Zazie in the town cemetery, in a simple pine coffin. One the undertaker had donated since neither of them had had the money to pay for even that. His resting place was now marked with a plain wooden cross. Sad irony to anyone who actually understood the circumstances of his death. But that'd been the best Vash and Meryl could do for him. A pauper's grave for a boy whose real name they didn't even know.

Meryl crossed her arms as they walked, stating the obvious only to break the silence. "It's cold tonight..."

"Yeah."

They both fell quiet again as the clouds moved slowly across the moons, bringing the outlaw and insurance girl in and out of strange patterns of shadow. The only sound for the rest of their walk was that of the wind as it howled across the sands.

Milly sat quietly on the edge of the porch, watching the figures in the distance approach in their own good time. She knew they couldn't see her yet. Maybe they wouldn't expect her here at all. She wiped self-consciously at her eyes, wondering if they were still very red. She'd worn her throat raw by sniffling and her face still seemed to ache. How long had she been sitting here, in this exact spot? Ever since he'd left her here. That'd been this morning, and now she'd been watching the moons rise for at least a few hours. Even the desert sounded lonely tonight. She dug her boots into the sand, lying back onto the dirty porch. The building creaked and moaned in the wind as she closed her eyes. She wondered if houses could cry. This one had obviously been abandoned for sometime before the children found it. And surely they would all live in town now. The house would be alone again. Milly brought her hands up over her face, trying to will her headache away. She figured she must look so pathetic right now. She didn't even have any tears left to cry. Amazing that she'd once been a completely independent individual. She'd lived five years without a friend in the world...roaming wherever instinct took her. Looking for Victor and enjoying the journey. She hadn't needed anyone then. She was her own company and it suited her just fine. But now everything had changed. She'd met him...and now she didn't even want to sit back up. She just wanted to lie here until she stopped breathing. Just lie here and think of the man that smelled like cigarettes and gunpowder, and what she could have done to make him stay.

"Milly?"

She removed her hands from her face, looking sideways at the short girl who was just stepping onto the rickety old porch. Milly forced herself not to sound the way she felt. "Hey..."

Meryl felt her heart wrench all over again at the look in her friend's eyes. She didn't have to ask. One look at her and she already knew he was gone. Meryl felt the anger that'd been absent all this time, finally beginning to form as she stared at her heartbroken partner. How could anyone be so cold? Milly had to have caught up with him...and Meryl knew her so well. She knew Milly would have cried. Cried and pleaded for him not to leave. And yet he was gone. He'd finally shown his true colors.

Vash sat quietly on the porch steps while Meryl climbed up them and walked over to sit beside the other insurance girl. He glared out at the black horizon, but kept his dark thoughts to himself.

Milly closed her eyes, speaking quietly. "Did all the children find somewhere to stay?"

Meryl crossed her arms over her knees and laid her head on them. Sure Milly didn't want to discuss him or the boy. Why would she? "Yeah."

"That's good." After another long period of silence, she spoke up again. "Are we sleeping here tonight?"

The short girl lifted her head to glance at the Typhoon's back. She didn't want to stay either, but it was up to him.

Would a little distance really make the girls feel better? Miles to ease pained memories? If only his wounds worked that way. He forced himself up, looking back at them. "Get your things then."

3 HOURS LATER

He fought back a yawn, leaning his side against the car door. He had no choice but to become completely withdrawn into himself. There was no outside stimulation, save the droning of the engine and the eternal darkness beyond the headlights. All he could do was keep thinking to remain awake. Not that he wanted to sleep. He knew the nightmares would be there to greet him. Only nightmares came from days like this. The others were already asleep. Meryl in the front with him and Milly stretched out across the backseat. He frowned to no one, slouching back. The side of his face still held a dull pain from the priest's fist. He'd known Wolfwood wouldn't be there when they got back. But he'd been surprised Milly was. For someone that'd fallen in with them so naturally, Nick had cut his ties much too easily. In one morning he'd broken Milly's heart, killed Vash's trust, and confirmed Meryl's worst suspicions. And now none of them wanted to talk or think about why there were only three people in this car when they all knew there should be four. There was only one place to go now...time to quit stalling. Time to stop hiding. They were going to Caracas.

2 WEEKS LATER

"Sempai, can I have some more of your typing paper?"

Meryl cocked an eyebrow, handing another piece over her shoulder. "Jeez, how long a letter are you writing?"

She actually smiled a little. "You don't understand, they're separate. One for Grandpa, one for Grandma, and one for Jeremy..."

The short girl went back to her typing. "Sounds like a lot of work."

Milly gave a sly glance. "You should talk."

"Hey, I keep bread on the table! Well...water in the canteen or whatever."

"Uh huh."

"What do you write to them about?"

"Everything." Milly paused, her smile fading. "Well, maybe not everything..."

Both girls looked up as the Stampede walked into the room and fell onto the bed without so much as a word. Milly decided that was her cue to head back to her own room and took her papers, standing up.

Meryl blinked. "What? Where are you going?"

"It's already past sunset. I'll finish writing these in the morning." She glanced back before closing the door behind her. "Night guys."

Vash answered her while Meryl looked a bit reluctant. "Night Milly."

400 MILES EAST

The bartender wiped off another beer mug as he kept a wary eye on the newcomer. A guy he'd never seen before. And after ten years of running this joint, this proprietor knew trouble when he saw it. It was sitting on a barstool with a lit cigarette in one hand, its third bottle of whiskey in the other, and a shot glass on the bar in front of it. One it'd already filled and emptied countless times as it was.

He inhaled a long drag on the ever shortening cigarette, took it back out his mouth, and quickly downed yet another shot. The man's hair hung over his eyes as he breathed, letting that burning feeling sink in a little before repeating the process.

By now the drifter in the black suit was starting to earn some looks. Either he was the toughest guy the men had ever seen or a suicidal idiot on his way to alcohol poisoning. The female employees were more impressed by the way he downed those shots rather than how many it was. His shirt was so low cut, you couldn't help but notice his chest muscles heaving every time he stopped for a quick breath. When he leaned back to chug another, you just knew there were other muscles at work under that old suit. Such an enticing specimen couldn't be left alone...not for long anyway.

Nick let the glass rest on the bar a minute while he went back to the cigarette. The bottle was almost empty again and still he felt like shit. How long had he been here? He put his elbows on the bar, glaring at the empty glass. He knew exactly what he was trying to do, and how much of an asshole idea it was. The old jukebox in the corner seemed in tune with his state of mind as it belted out yet another whining verse.

Mama put my guns in the ground

I can't shoot them anymore

That cold black cloud is comin' down

Feels like I'm knockin' on heaven's door

Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door...

He gave a sickening smile, hanging his head, and taunting himself in his mind. Finally bitten off more than you could chew, aye Nicky? Damned drunk...you know they're going to kill you when you get there. You'll never see her again. You slept with her and left her cold. Just like all the others. Idiot to think you could ever change, even for her.

"What's the occasion?"

Wolfwood glanced at the young woman who'd just taken a seat on the barstool beside him. It was only instinct to size her up. Looked about 21, blonde hair and green eyes. Skinny yet curvy. He looked back at his glass, refilling it. "I fucked up." Not the choice of words he'd ever use around Milly or Meryl, but of course he wasn't around them, was he?

She smiled, looking him over. "Well you know there are more ways to ease pain, rather than just drowning yourself in this stuff..."

Nick gave a half-hearted smirk. A few years ago and she would have had herself a deal in a heartbeat, but now just the thought made him sick. "Babe, I only work all night for one woman and you ain't her."

The girl glared without getting up. "Yeh, then where the hell is this princess of yours now?"

Wolfwood sighed, finishing off the last of the whiskey and standing up because he didn't have the cash to pay for any more. "I let her go. Turns out she was never mine to have in the first place." He tossed his used up cigarette in the ashtray and lit up another one. "Guess I'm just a slow learner."

They all watched as the stranger nonchalantly lifted up his crucifix, threw some bills on the bar, and walked out the saloon doors like he'd never been there at all. A few seconds later, an engine roared to life from outside and the wandering soul once again disappeared into the unforgiving desert night.

Meryl sighed taking her hands from typewriter. This is why she didn't want Milly to leave. She'd rather her partner's fake smiles any day compared to this unbearable silence with Vash. They'd all withdrawn into themselves so much since that day. She just couldn't stand it. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

Vash rolled over, pressing his face into one of the pillows. They hadn't had real beds in days. "What's to say? We're leaving again in the morning."

Her eyes narrowed as she glared at her desk. "You've had us on the move nonstop for two whole weeks and you won't even tell us where we're going. Dammit Vash, do you even know?"

He looked at the short girl's back as he considered whether to tell the truth or not. If he told her the town. She'd want to know why. She'd want to know everything.

Meryl realized her eyes were beginning to water. If that's the way he wanted it. He could have it. Be alone and keep his damn secrets. She clenched her fists tightly against her skirt as the first tear fell. "Get out."

Vash lifted his head, not believing the words.

She just couldn't take it. All this stress, everything that had happened. Him intentionally hiding things from her was just the last it took to finally break her down. She stared at her lap as her voice began to tremble. "I said get out!"

He stood up slowly off the bed. "Meryl..."

She cringed. "Don't...don't you dare say my name that way when you know I'm right! You don't trust anyone Vash! How can I love you when you won't even tell me the truth?"

He looked down at the floor, listening to her cry. A miserable sound. It ate away at him, but still he couldn't tell her the words she wanted to hear. "I'm sorry, Mer-" The empty coffee mug shattered on the wall next to him before he could finish. Vash watched silently as she stood up, grabbing her suitcase and throwing her things in it.

Meryl wiped some of the tears away, but didn't lose the hostile tone. "Forget it. I'm expecting too much from a guy like you. Why should you need to tell me anything? It's unfair for me to kick you out for being yourself isn't it?" She opened the door, forcing a smile. "I'm going stay with Milly. I guess I'll see you in the morning Mr.Stampede."

The sound of that door closing had to be one of worst things he'd ever heard, but he remained where he stood. He should have run after her. Grabbed hold of her and told her everything, but he didn't. The Typhoon sank down to sit on the dirty wooden floor as the woman he loved made her way crying down the hall. This is how it happened. How it always happened. And it was all his fault.