UPDATE: Well, well, well…look who's back from the grave. Or do you even remember me? Trust me, I won't hold it against you if you don't. It really has been that long. I don't even know what to say to you guys. This chapter was an experiment if anything. I hadn't even looked at this story in so many months that it almost seems like someone else's now. I had to reintroduce myself to everything so I don't feel that this came out right at all. You know how some people say certain things are like riding a bike? You never forget no matter what? Well apparently for me at least, writing isn't one of those things. I stopped so long I think I forgot how. So all below this paragraph is coldchik getting off her tricycle and back onto her dusty mountain bike and trying to ride BMX like she used to. Ain't happening…at least not all at once anyway. I've got to learn this all over again so go easy.
Dear Gram,

I don't know how trustworthy the mail service is in this area, but I really hope this letter finds its way to you eventually. I know it's been so long since I've written to any of you and I apologize a thousand times over if you've been worrying about me. It's just that so many terrible things have happened since the last time I wrote. I'm scared now. I really am. I wish I could see you in person to tell you all we've been going through. If the satellite phones were good enough in this town to contact Hawk Canyon, you can guarantee I would be calling you in a heartbeat instead of scribbling words you may never even read. I'd give anything just to hear one of your voices. To have someone to cry to, someone to tell everything.

I'm all alone right now. I have been for a little over a month now. I'm living out of a hotel room in a small town in the South Cornelia region. I get by mainly from the tips I make from working as a waitress down at the local diner, but I don't know how much longer I can keep on like this. It's just that everything's changed so much. I can't be independent like the old days, I care too much about everyone else now. Meryl and Mr.Vash are gone. I worry about them every day, but they didn't really have a choice whether to stay here or not. I'm sure I'd be with them to help with whatever they're facing now, but I knew I could never leave Nicholas. I'm sitting next to his hospital bed as I write this. I've never seen anyone hurt so bad, gram. He's been unconscious for weeks now. We ran into more of the mercenaries that work for Vash's brother in the last town and Nick was nearly killed trying to defend us. All I can do is just keep waiting and praying for him to come back to us. I've never felt this terrified, gram. Not since I lost papa and the others. I know yall didn't really like Nick that one time you met him, mainly because he reminded yall so much of Papa, but I swear there's so much more to him than you think. He doesn't deserve to suffer this way. He turned on his own group in order to protect us. All he wanted was to make things right. He wanted to wash his hands once and for all from all the mistakes he's made in his life. He really is a good man, grandma. And I know my mother probably said all these same things to you at one point, and I'm sure that frightens you. But we can't help who we fall in love with. I still think her and papa were right to try. What happened wasn't their fault. I chose to love Nicholas. I accepted these dangers a long time ago. I realize that now. Even the possibility that this would be happening to us now. I accepted all of it because I love him. But I'm still me, and I can't help but be hurt and afraid. Please write back soon. I need to hear from you.

Love always,

Milly

It seemed so wrong. Everything was wrong. Like somewhere along the way reality had left them all together. Or maybe they had willfully stepped away from it in order to survive. Abandoned it in order to remain sane. They were like ghosts drifting idly from day to day. Town to town. Disconnected from the world around them. Not being able to become more than a passing face to anyone they may meet along the way. Friends they had had, quickly fading into the past as some undefined final confrontation continuously loomed closer in their futures. Never knowing when the demons watching them would present themselves. It was a hellish way to live. But he'd walked the planet in this fashion for more than a century hadn't he? And he'd done it alone. Only a month or so and she was already feeling the growing emotional strain. Even by his side, she was afraid. But of course he hadn't wanted her here. Any day she expected to wake and find herself deserted. The dumbest thing was that she completely understood his logic this time. They both knew Legato would use her against Vash at the first opportunity. Yet, still she refused to go. She feared for both of them, but she just wouldn't leave him. And for some reason, he had yet to force her to. They argued about it nearly every day. Even screamed at each other sometimes, but still he'd hold her close every night seeming to thank the stars for her. Sometimes he'd even cry against her and she'd comfort him, but some nights…more so lately, it was the other way around.

"Ready to move on?"

She sighed a little, looking away from the darkening sunset and grabbing her suitcase up by its handle. "Been packed for half an hour, you're the slow one."

Vash stopped for a moment, standing behind her on the old porch.

Her shoulders sank slightly as she straightened up in a silent 'what?'

He put his arm around her after another slight pause, and kissed her softly on the cheek. They were both miserable. Her fronts didn't fool him anymore. All that had stopped a long time ago. They were like open books to each other now. But he didn't know how to fix this. She didn't want to be sent away and some selfish part of him didn't want her to go either. But she didn't need to be here. He knew that. Somewhat randomly, the thought occurred to him that Wolfwood had been stronger. When he'd left that time, he'd all but told Milly he didn't love her just to make her stay. Just to protect her. Vash had willfully separated from the girls plenty of times, but that was before he'd been in love. Before he'd needed her this bad.

She blinked, feeling him hug her tighter. "Hmm?"

Vash focused his eyes on the sunset, while speaking softly. "You don't have to feel obligated to keep on with this, Meryl."

Her eyes narrowed and she gave a bit of a huff, signifying that they'd already beaten this subject to death. "Vash…"

He wasn't dissuaded. "I know…but please. Please don't forget. I rather you be safe. I rather you go back to Milly sometime soon."

The short girl glanced to the ground at the mention of the name. Now that was a whole different kind of pain. She still felt she'd somehow betrayed her best friend by leaving her alone to watch Wolfwood waste away in the hospital of that nowhere town. There wasn't a day that went by where she didn't think of them. And she knew the same was true of Vash. They really were some kind of odd little family. The near death of Wolfwood had hurt them greatly. Hopefully he was still hanging on. She prayed he was. Sometimes she still had nightmares of following Milly to the bloodied altar that day. Even though the four of them had been in life threatening situations time and time again over the years, that was the one and only time where one of them had actually crossed the threshold. It showed they really could die in this sadistic game Knives had placed them in. Any of them. Vash had every right to fear for her the same way she feared for him. "I might. But let's just keep on for now, alright?"

Vash was astounded at the sudden softness of her voice and the agreement that she'd at least start considering it. "Really?"

Meryl smirked, turning her head to glance up at him. "You act as if I'm some sort of stubborn thomas or something! I can be reasoned with on occasion. You're the pigheaded one, remember?"

The typhoon smiled, walking with her down the porch steps. "Is that so?"

A FEW DAYS LATER

She sat solemnly on the metallic barstool with an untouched glass of ceylon tea and a salmon sandwich in front of her. The woman had her elbows resting on the cold bar, with her forehead leaned down against one of her palms. Her headache was even worse today. She'd even thrown up this morning. This stress was ripping her apart. She'd never been sick in her entire life, but if he didn't wake up soon she was going to need her own hospital bed. Milly closed her eyes, trying to regain herself. A strange hand grasped gently to her shoulder.

"You okay, hun?"

The tall girl smiled slightly at that old word before turning to look. "Yeah, Mrs.Lana…I'll go right back to work after my break. Just exhausted I guess. Sorry if I'm depressing the customers."

The red-head blinked then gave a sudden hearty laugh, patting the younger woman on the back. "Oh heck, what do these bumpkins know? You're a girl in a short, button-up pink dress…that's all they notice!"

The men at the nearest booth all began laughing. "Hey, we resent that! And don't forget the sexy white apron!"

Milly smiled, shaking her head. In a small town like this, just about everyone came to get a bite to eat at the diner at one time or another. By being a waitress here she felt she pretty much knew the whole town on a first name basis by now. They'd all been very kind to her. Maybe a handful or so had been somewhat suspicious that the 'town fainting' incident had almost perfectly coincided with the time her other two friends had been here, but it's not like anyone could really prove she had had anything to do with it. Most just chose to ignore it all together as just some sort of freak happening.

The red-head took a seat next to Milly, still chuckling a little as she waved the men to return to their own conversation. "Yeah, yeah guys whatever you say."

Milly straightened up a little as her boss joined her. She must not have been convincing enough. "I really am okay Mrs.Lana."

Her eyes softened at the tall girl. "Mill, we've been over this. Just plain Lana is fine. The Mrs. makes me feel old, you know? I mean I know late thirties ain't no spring chicken like yourself, but I like Lana better just the same."

She nodded with another hint of a smile, thinking of the odd look Nick had always given her whenever she threw a Mr. onto his name when they were first getting to know each other. "Yeah, I know…I'm sorry. It's just a habit of mine. I'll try to remember."

Lana shook her head a little. "You sure are a quirky little thing. But really Mill, you haven't been looking well these past few days. You really think it's just because you're boyfriend?"

Milly blushed slightly. Nick still seemed too tough to her to ever be called anyone's 'boyfriend'…even hers. It was still odd when anyone ever put it that way. "Well they say people can worry themselves sick right? So I guess that's what's happening to me."

"Well I don't mean to be rude, but honey you look more than tired. Is that really all that's been going on?"

She knew her boss was just being concerned, but Milly didn't see where this was really serious enough to fret over. It was stress. It would either pass or Milly would learn to live with it. That was all. She lowered her voice now speaking only to Lana as she lifted up her neglected tea glass. "I did throw up a little this morning, but I'd been crying all night you know-"

Her eyebrow visibly cocked up as if Milly had just said something incriminating. Lana jumped on it, speaking quickly but keeping her voice low. "Have you been doing that a lot lately? Feeling nauseous in the morning I mean?"

Now it was Milly's turn to give her an odd look as the tone of the conversation suddenly changed. "Um I guess…I mean I never feel that great lately, but like I said I've been worrying about him and-"

Lana cut her off again. "What about headaches? Have you been getting a lot of those?"

Milly blinked, getting the serious feeling that she was out of the loop on this one. "Well yeah…Lana am I missing something here?"

She suddenly looked quite serious. "Maybe. One more question though. This one's kind of personal, do you mind?"

The tall girl seemed curious and confused all at the same time. "Nuh uh."

"Have you missed your period, dear?"

Only Lana's quick reflex of grabbing the now beet-red farm girl by the arm, kept Milly from plummeting completely off the bar stool and enduring an assuredly rough landing on the tile below as the patrons stared on in unison.

2 HOURS LATER

She was still in shock. Still felt like she might faint if she stood up too fast. Because there was no way. There was just no way. It's true, she should have noticed when it didn't come. But she hadn't noticed. How could she when the only thing she thought of was him? And now she felt like someone had just pulled the world out from under her…again. She'd cried when the blood test came back positive. And then she'd felt guilty for crying and cried even harder. She was still sniffling as she buried her face against her arms on the side of his bed. A month pregnant and she hadn't even known. She hadn't known what they'd made that night. Their last night together before fate ripped him away from her. She was carrying Nicholas's child. That's what that blood test had said. It was beautiful and terrifying all at the same time. She didn't know how to be a mother. She didn't know anything of this. But she could do her best. And if he was with her, she wouldn't be scared at all. He just had to make it through this. The thought of Nicholas dying without ever knowing of what they had created together, sent a new wave of sobs through her and Milly forced herself back up to look at him. The oxygen mask was gone now, he didn't need it anymore. Even though he still couldn't wake, he somehow breathed perfectly on his own. Like eternal sleep. He just looked like he was asleep. She traced her fingers gently through his hair and down his face as more tears fell. "Nicholas…please. Please, you've got to come back. There's someone who's going to want to meet you..." She blinked more tears away as she forced a weak smile. "They're going to need you Nick…we're both going to need you. You have to come back…you just have to."

THAT NIGHT

The dying fire reflected off his tired eyes while he continued to think what might lie ahead. He'd like to at least have some idea what kind of trap he was leading them into before they got there. Not that he even knew what their final destination was. Just the vague instruction of 'head eastward'. Surely whatever they had planned would happen where there were lots of people. Some town because Legato would want pawns, and Knives would want slaughter. Vash was certain Knives wouldn't be there though. No, he and his brother had long been due for a one on one fight. But where did Legato figure into it? Damn, they were just stumbling blind into hell weren't they?

She'd had enough. He was really going to have to break this sulking habit sooner or later. Mainly because it was so damned annoying, and secondly because the sleeping bag was just too cold without him. "You're gonna hurt yourself you know."

"Hmm?" He glanced over his shoulder as she kneeled behind him.

She grinned smugly, wrapping her arms around his neck as he eyed her suspiciously. "What? You're thinking too hard. You should relax."

Something bad was about to happen, he began to panic as his brain frantically tried to replay the day's events thinking of anything he might have done to offend her. "Meryl, why do you have that look in your eyes, Meryl? If it's about me eating the last-AH!" He gasped as she jerked all of her weight suddenly backwards, pulling him down on top of her. He quickly turned over, looking down at her in fake shock and hurt even though all he was really feeling was relief…that and a touch of excitement. "What the heck are you trying to do, squash yourself? I'm not THAT bad of company am I?" He produced a pouty lip when she hesitated to answer.

The insurance girl rolled her eyes, looping her arms around his neck again. "It's a pretty night isn't it? You might notice it if you stopped burning your retinas in the fire for more than two seconds."

He paused, glancing over his shoulder and up at the moons overhead. He watched a shooting star scratch the heavens before turning his gaze back to her. His voice got serious again as he smiled. "Yeah you're right as always but I think I like this view even better."

She smirked slightly. Still a corny romantic. But that's just the way she loved him. "We should be going to sleep soon shouldn't we? It's pretty late."

Vash cocked an eyebrow looking a little confused. Had he gotten the wrong idea?

Meryl cocked an eyebrow right back, giving him a 'well, what's it going to be?' sort of look.

He seemed to glance around for a moment then suddenly got up, helping her up by the wrist and leading her back away from the fire. He let go and she watched curiously as he unzipped the sleeping bag completely, basically turning it into a comforter. He spread it out with the rough side still to the sand and the soft side facing skyward. Vash glanced briefly down at the set up he had created and then to Meryl for approval.

She smiled almost shyly, then cast a few glances across the open desert as if to verify their solitude. Vash was getting more brazen all the time. This was definitely new. "Alright, but if we hear even one car engine…"

He grinned as she pulled him down by the collar.