The longing was so obvious in your heart. The way he had slowly slid his hand into your own, carefully clasping the other onto your hip… That familiar feeling of his outer coat against your fingertips, the familiarity of his angled form and soft smell overwhelmed you…

Slowly, as the music began and the two of you started to slowly float across the ballroom floor, nostalgia of those lovely moments shared resurfaced….

You are my angel

And I believe you where sent from above

Showing me guidance with unconditional love

And I know that it's true…

Oh, and how true it is. He was your comfort, your guide during the fear filled times. Unlike Dumbledore, he would always be frank, always be truthful. He did not plant seeds of hope, unlike the other teachers. His harshness seemed to frighten away any with the courage to approach him… his blackness, the sense of unending night that reigned supreme within him… But what he did give you was determination to go on, and the stone cold will to survive.

And aren't those things the true beginnings of hope?

You are my best friend

I can't believe that you came into my life

Giving me strength and I feel so safe in your arms

I will come to no harm…

How good it feels to have him hold you again, even if it is at such a distance!

You remember how he held you when you cried over the deaths of people whom you had known well, - when you had feared for those who where still amongst the living.

…When you had begun to mourn those whom you wished you had known better, people whom you had seen and spoken to for years, people who where gone now, forever…

This man, this cold, stubborn man… He was your heart. When he was there, there was a peace inside you. You knew he would not let you go down. Risking a glance to his face, you had seen it… You had seen it in his eyes…

Every time you go away, I will follow you

When you're running scared

And you hide away

I'm right beside you

I am there…

He stiffens ever so slightly. You can feel his muscles tightening beneath your hand. Carefully, your own touch softens as thought to massage feeling into his frozen self. You look forlornly at his many buttons while you rest your head on his shoulder, saddened the scornful look that may be on his face…

You would follow him into the ends of the earth, to the beginning of time and back, if he asked you to. You remember the night, after the final battle, where he laid in the hospital room, broken and bleeding. You remember him asking why he was not dead, how you could have let him live. You remember taking his hand, so that it would be cupping your face. You remember pausing, sadness and hope sweeping over you.

You can still remember what you told him:

'Because I could not last here withought you.'

You remember his face. He knew all that you meant, today and tomorrow. How this meant forever. You remember. You lift your heard from his shoulder; and look into his eyes…

He remembers too.

I have never been touched like this by another…

Or moved or kissed or loved by my lover…

Like you love me

A soft smile comes to your face, as you gaze up at him.

All these feelings, all these memories, all of these thoughts, come streaming back into you, into your mind. You two sitting together at the lake, his eyes when he would see you in the dinning halls, his words to you when you where most alone, and did not need to fear unwelcome company. His eyes seem so uncertain, but so determined, while his face still holds his disdainful look…

You are my angel

And I thank God that you came into my life

You are the one thing I see when I close my eyes…

He turns his face away from you, looking away from your eyes.

…In the dark of the night

For months, that has been true. Even more so now, now that you had thought it all to be over. You remember the things that came with being with him… how you had to hide away, how you constantly had to find covers for your lack of sleep, for the many nights you had spent talking…. Oh, with him, you where never challenged to dumb things down, you never had to fear the lack of understanding. With him, you could be you, to the fullest, most brilliant extent you could…

Every time you go away, I will follow you

When you're running scared and you hide away

I'm right beside you

I am there…

You carefully reach your head up to his ear. During the dance, you have somehow come closer and closer to each other, until there is almost no space between the two of you. His stillness is something you had almost forgotten, but now it seems almost as though nothing had ever changed, nothing had ever turned you from each other.

Your lips are just an inch from his ear. Your voice drops; this is for his ears alone. You can feel his heart, feel his breath. It seems to beat quicker then before. The closeness brings an explosion of joy to your heart asyou whisper:

"I am there…"

I have never been touched like this by another…

Or moved or kissed or loved by my lover…

Like you love me

Like you love me…

Its true. You have felt feelings before, but this, this was different, it would always be different. Suddenly, you realize you're shaking. This is so right, so pure, what you have together.

But being with him, touching him, just hearing his heartbeat in your ears, ringing, ringing… you may never feel this again. How can this be? How will you survive this?

Being with him like this… it makes you think of the times you had to say goodbye, a final goodbye, to those whom you'd loved, to those who where forever gone. But somehow this, this single goodbye, was harder.

You where both still alive. You would soon be free. At the stroke of midnight tomorrow, you would find your freedom.

You are so close now. So close.

So why does he chose to hold you two apart?

You take me down, and bring me back again

You take me down and bring me back again

Take me down…

You can take this sudden ache no longer.

You stop dancing

He freezes. His cool face makes your heart break.

You step away from him.

Why? Why does he look at you so? How dare he appear to show regret, if he is the one, the only one, keeping the two of you apart…

You're still shaking. You look down at your feet.

When you look up, he's still there, paused, waiting. Perhaps for a word, a declaration, an explanation…

How dare he look at you so. How dare you feel this, when he can just stand there like a gargoyle, withought movement, withought thought, withought the world shattering pain that has found you again and again these past nights.

How can he be before you and not feel all that has rushed through your veins!

What great power keeps him entombed, keeps everyone unaware of the forces of ice and fire that have threatened to consume you? What has caused this place to pause out of time, out of change, and still allow no other to know the truths of your voice, of your heart?

And still, despite it all, there it is. The movement of thought, of soul fleeing across his face. Some small piece of life that you had found in him, the things of which he was that had made you see him through new eyes. The light. The dark.

The love.

This is it. The end of all. The end of what you ever where.

The moment remains frozen. No one else seems to have noticed the two of you, your closeness, the feelings passing across your faces. No one.

You're fighting the tears. These may very well be the last words you share.

You still stare unblinking, memorizing his features - his hair lying across his face, the angled cheekbones, his long crooked nose, his thin pale lips… His eyes…

You take a shuddering breath:

"Now you know."

You look into his eyes, telling him with your heart all that you meant with your words. You can barely see straight for all of the memories flying through your mind.

Does he appear paler then before?

The tears. They are stronger then you now. You must leave this place, he cannot see you cry. You must leave him, and let him go…

Things blur. All seems fuzzy, as though all around you, people where only figures with masks. There are no others, there is no tomorrow, there is only now, and yesterday, and every moment before that you had spent in his company.

You turn away, your eyes still wishing to behold him until the very last moment

And then he is gone. You will see him no more.

To be continued…