THe Steel Cage: Show 2
music plays as it flashes to a Johnny Cage sitting at a desk with his Tuxedo on
Johnny Cage: Good evening, and welcome to The Steel Cage, with me Johnny ummm ummm Rain whats my last name again?
Scorpion: Buttfucker
Cage: Thanks Scorpion, welcome to the Steel Cage with me Johnny Buttfucker
Rain: giggles like a little girl
Cage: Whats so funny Rain?
Rain: Nothing Mr. Buttfucker
Cage: Thats right no body messes with Johnny Buttfucker
Scorpion: Hey man, what the hell was wrong with my paycheck this week?
Cage: What do you mean Scorpion?
Scorpion: What I mean is where the hell is my money?
Cage: Rain where is his money?
Rain: Well acording to this chart chart flashes on screen behind cage All the money was cut and given to you
Cage: Oh yes thats right, the annual Johnny Buttfuck...wait my name isn't buttfucker, see Scorpion this is why you don't get paid, may name is not Johnny Buttfucker.
Scorpion: I think you're forgetting something asswipe
Cage: Remember Scorpion, an elephant never forgets.
Rain:stares blankly at Cage
Scorpion: And are you an elephant?
Cage: Rain am I an elephant?
Rain: Can't you think for yourself?
Cage: Of course not thats why I have you Rain to think for me
Rain: starts crying like mad out of nowhere Im tired of thinking for you why don't I get any respect? What about me? What about Rain? crys even louder
Scorpion: Hard to respect a guy who does nothing but bitch.
Rain: sobbing softer now Well if i got some respect i'd probly do a better job
Cage: Nonsense Rain, you suck now and you always will suck. I cant beileve i have to work with an idiot like you.
Scorpion: Oh the irony
Rain: crying because he was called an idiot it's time to bring out the guest...crys louder
Cage: I'm not bringing a guest until you stop crying.
Scorpion: Yeah shut the fuck up
Cage: Exactly Rain shut the fuck up.
Scorpion: No man I was talking to you , Cage shut the fuck up.
Cage: Rain bring out the guest
Rain: I dont wanna
Cage: Rain we've been through this...
Rain: I wanna hug...
cage walks over and gives Rain a little hug
Scorpion: Ha ha you guys are gay. Fag fag fag fag faggy faggy fag fag starts laughing until he passes out
Cage: Scorpion that is not right, there is nothing wrong with my...dah dah I mean a homosexual lifestyle. I'm not gay.
Rain: Ummmmmm awkard moment Cage, well to make it less awkard here's tonights guest, Kung Lao
Kung Lao walks out with through smoke, dressed like a pimp, but in place of the traditional hat is Kung Lao's hat with a feather sticking out of it
Cage: Welcome Kung Lao old buddy
Kung Lao: 'Sup?
Cage: Uhhh what?
Rain: He said 'sup dumbass
Cage: What the hell are you guys saying?
KungLao: You wan get smacked jack? i sayed 'sup?
Cage: Errr...right...(voice drops to a whisper) I think he maybe crazy folks just bear with us please.
Kung: I ain't crazy ho' im a P-I-M-P
Scorpion: What the hell?
Rain:(cryijng from laughter) he said he's a pimp
Cage: Right most unusual. Kung Lao I've got a question for you..
Kung: A'ight shoot it homeslice
Scorpion: Home slice? What the fuck is a homeslice?
Cage: Scorpion please Kung Lao is obviously just trying out for the video for the song Pretty Fly for a White Guy.
Rain: Or maybe to Malibu's Most Wanted 2: Shaolin Showdown
Kung: Man I be gettin mad love from mah bitches wan see?
Scorpion: Umm yeah lets see what kind of stupid hookers you got paid in the back
Cage: Damn you all I have a question and I'm going to ask it!
Kung: Shut da fuck up cage, bring out mah bitches.
Rain: (crying) Now is that really apropriate? Thats what my dad called me when he played Michael Jackson with me..
the whole show pauses for about an hour
Kung: Well I think it's time fo' urbody to come aboard the hoooooo train
(ex-WWE wrestler The Godfather's music plays as several scantly-clad women come out and start groping Kung Lao's hat)
Cage: Well then this explains alot, Rain could you ask Kung Lao where to get one of those hats?
Rain: (still crying) He touched meee..daddy didn't love me...
Cage: Why don't you go sit in the corner or something?
Rain: (still crying) I already a-a-aaammm...
Cage: Security can you please take Rain to a safe place somewhere, we dont need any more of that story today..or ever..damn thats scary. Anyway Kung Lao, where do you get one of those niffy hats?
Scorpion: Hell it'll take alot more than a hat to get you laid.
Kung: Cain't get one. I gots the only one.
Cage: I see, (voice gets louder) memo to self: kill Kung Lao and steal his hat.
Kung Lao looks pissed, as his hos stare at Cage in disbelief
Cage: Damn Scorpion are you supposed to speak louder into a voice recorder or softer?
Scorpion: Uhh yeah louder just keep doin it that way it'll be fine.
Kung: A'ight thats it. Cage I'm fixin to bust you up mother fucka'.
Cage: Please pleas we have a show to do you can't beat me up yet.
Kung:The hell I can't.
(Kung Lao proceeds to beat the high holy hell out of Cage)
GET OVER HERE!(Scorpon spears Cage and uppercuts him through the roof)
Scorpion: Well with that assclow gone, I'll now be your host on ehhh... Untitled Scorpion Talk Show
offscreen voice: We're almost out of time
Scorpion: What the fuck I only get 5 minutes?
offscreenvoice: Actually we gotta send it to Kitana so you get like no time Scorpion.
Scorpion: Awww Jesus tap-dancing Christ
Kung: I'd be pimp slappin that punk bitch, try to dis you homie
Scorpion: Tonights pole is concerns Kung Lao, it's not "Is Kung Lao a poser?" as the answer would've been to one sided instead we're asking "Do you dig Kung Lao for his hat?" Kitana, take it away..useless talentless bitch...
Kitana: Alright I am here in the streets of lovely Edina and I am talking to the people here to see if the dig Kung's hat woooo! Alright ma'am over here, do you dig Kung Lao for his hat?
Old lady: Well I'd do Kung in a second as long as he keeps that hat on..
Young Girl(age 14-17): Oh yeah Kung is fuckin hot, only without the hat he's ugly as fuck
Tall Thin Man in a small pink shirt: Oh yeeeessss I absolutely love Kung Lao's hat,
Kitana: Wow these people here love Kung Laos hat, lets go see whats up on the other side of this lake woooo!
Middle Aged Hooker: Kung Lao? Whats he payin?
Little Girl(age 5-8): Kungy has cooties ewwww...
Kitana: Well there you have it, alot of people today said they would do kung lao!woooo! and one person thinks he has cooties! WOOOO!
Scorpion: Perky little bitch isn't she? Well that's it from Untitled Scorpion Talkshow tune in next week for
Cage falls back through the ceiling
Cage: Dammit this is not Untitled Scorpion Talkshow, this is The Steel Cage, and I'm not done interveiwing Kung Lao yet.
offscreen voice: Shows over man Kung Lao left to get more ho's
Cage: Well then the shows over, thanks for watching the Steel Cage.
Scorpion: I'm starting a petion for Untitled Scorpion talkshow, sign dammit sign
Cage: No no ignore that ignore that ignore tha(CAge is cut off)
after the show a commercial airs
Scorpion stands against a plane white background
Scorpion: Hi, you may no me as Scorpion, from the talk show The Steel Cage: with Johnny Cage. But Johnny Cage is an idiot, and an assclown if you enjoy Scorpion and would like to see the new show Untitled Scorpion Talkshow instead please sign below, because the world does not need one more assclown on late night TV.