Well, normally I post chappies in pairs, but I've been busy as of late, and I'm adding just the one, OK?

Chapter 5-re: superpowers?

Strong Bad, walking into his office, glanced at his clock that conspicuously appeared spontaneously. "Well, it's that time of week again!" he mused. The Mexican-esque wrestler sat down at his desk and opened his laptop. "I met a girl. Her name was…EMAIL!" He typed strongbademail.exe quickly and viewed his weekly email.

Just chilling, Muscular Bad,

I was just wondering, does anybody in Free Country have any superpowers?

Just chilling,
Awesome Joe

Strong Bad, finding no apparent grammatical errors, was forced to read the email exactly the way it was written. He had to resort to a fairly lame insult at the end.

"Well, Dorkular Joe," he retorted weakly, "luckily for you I have a file on this very thing." He pressed "ENTER" and typed superherofiles.exe. The list was as follows.

It had a pixelated picture of each citizen of Free Country, USA on the left, and some information on the right. For example, next to Homestar's picture it read:

HOMESTAR RUNNER

CRANBERRY DRIVE, FREE COUNTRY, USA

RESIDENT ATHLETE

"Well, here goes!" Strong Bad exclaimed, not typing. He scrolled his cursor over to Homestar's picture and clicked on it. It read:

NAME: Homestar Runner

CODENAME: H0M3$tr

ADDRESS: 602, Cranberry Drive

Free Country, USA, 67670

(121) 555-5551

SUPERPOWER:
Telekinesis

At this point, Strong Bad shouted "What the crap?" There was a link at the end, saying "Click for further info". He eagerly clicked.

It showed Homestar picking up a TV, grunting. It took Strong Bad a few seconds to get this. "Oh! And I always thought he had invisible arms!" He hit "ENTER" and the Poopsmith appeared on screen.

NAME: The Poopsmith

CODENAME: p00p3r$

ADDRESS: Dung Pile, Kingly Way

Free Country, USA, 67670

(121)111-1234

SUPERPOWER:
Ability to Not Smell

At the end, there was a line reading "You better not need any further info." And, thankfully, Strong Bad didn't. He was perfectly fine with his current information. "Uh, okay then. I'm just going to move on before I throw up." He pressed "ENTER" again, and the King of Town appeared.

NAME: The King of Town

CODENAME:
K1n6L33

ADDRESS:
KOT Castle, Kingly Way

Free Country, USA, 67670

(121)111-1234

SUPERPOWER:
Mind Control

This was a stumper. "Uh..." He clicked the link at the end. It showed the King of Town talking to the Poopsmith, who looked very rebellious. A jet of red light shot out of the King's head, and into the Poopsmith. The latter snapped to a military salute, and the screen froze. "Oh!" Strong Bad exclaimed. "That explains how he got the freakin' guy to shovel crap all day!" He pressed "ENTER" again and a different person appeared onscreen.

NAME:
Strong Mad

CODENAME:
$tr0n6 Md

ADDRESS:
Upstairs Bedroom, Strong Badia

Free Country, USA, 67670

(121)666-6666

SUPERPOWER:
Super Strength

Strong Bad didn't look remotely surprised. "Well, that's expected," he mused. "Now who's next?" He hit "ENTER" again and...of all people, Strong Bad came up! He jumped. "No way!"

NAME:
Strong Vermillion Bad

CODENAME:
$tr0n6 8d

ADDRESS:
Computer Room, Strong Badia

Free Country, USA, 67670

(121)666-6666

SUPERPOWER:
Cap Remover

He laughed. "Ah yes, the classic. Time to break this baby out!" He pulled out a Cold One, and the diamond on his head began glowing. The cap popped off, and he raised the bottle to his square mouth. "Ahh. Nothing beats a frothy Cold One. Well, that's it. I will now stop answering emails. Not really."

Easter Eggs:
None. Sorry.

Well, fun, fun, fun! Oh, and for more fun, you can put the next email in your reviews. 1st one I get I'm using, and the next, and the next, and so on, and so forth.