Title: Not Such a Miracle
Author: Eralk Fang
Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Rating: PG.
Summary: Isis reacts to news of a baby that couldn't have been born.
Notes: Christmas gift for Jun because she had a huge hand in making the kids. Avi demanded to see it and Jun wanted it up on for the reactions. I'm a nice person. Teh end.
Warnings that didn't fit in the summary: (big inside joke) (supposed mpreg) (setomalik setootogi noncon!pegasusseto) (scary offspring). Oh dear.

A MONTH LATER
"Isis, can you get that?"

"Sure."

Rishid was cooking; Isis was flipping through the latest issue of National Geographic. It featured an article on Egyptian jewelry- she planned to scan a few pictures for Malik. She reached over and picked up the phone.

"Hello, Ishtar residence."

"Isis! It's me!" It was Malik, sounding very happy. If Malik was happy, something very shiny or very expensive was in his possession, either legally or not, or somebody he hated just died.

Malik also hadn't been home in the past ten or so months. He was in Domino, Japan, of all places to be.

"Hey, Malik." Isis said. Rishid looked over from the kitchen. Isis smiled and nodded at him.

Suddenly, Isis became aware of a noise on the other end that wasn't Malik or his jewelry. It was a soft sound.

It was the gurgling of a baby.

Malik seemed to cover the mouthpiece for a second, but Isis could vaguely hear him making baby-talk. Isis looked up at Rishid, who'd gone back to making pasta.

"Malik?"

"Yeah?"

"Is that a baby?"

Malik laughed a little. "Yeah, it is."

"Whose is it?"

"Mine." The baby on the other end gurgled and Malik made a cooing sound at it.

Isis let out a particularly strong curse in Egyptian and managed to hang onto the phone. Rishid looked over at her worried; she waved a hand at him.

"Okay. I'm an aunt now. I knew this would happen someday. Okay." Isis took a deep breath. "Who is the mother?"

"I don't know."

"Malik, I can understand a woman not knowing paternity, but I think you would notice if your girlfri-"

Isis stopped. Malik didn't... like girls...

"Malik, who is the other parent?"

"Seto Kaiba. I'll have him paying child support until the kid's eighteen!" Malik cooed at the baby on the other end.

Isis took this in for a moment. "Malik, that's physically impossible."

"We woke up in a science lab that night, if that helps."

"No, it doesn't help. How did two males have a baby together?"

"Magic, Isis. Magic."

A MONTH EARLIER
"Well, I don't remember the last eighteen hours whatsoever. Do you?"

"No."

"Mr. Kaiba?"

"No."

"Alright, then!"

The doctor was entirely too cheerful about the fact that three well-educated people- okay, two well-educated people- couldn't remember what happened for over half a day.

Malik didn't even remember why or how they got into the hospital. In fact, the last thing he remembered was sitting on a couch in the Kaiba mansion, berating Kai-Seto. Seto. Malik could call him Seto now.

Malik grinned, and Seto inched another few inches away from him.

"Well, let's see... there's a baby here and it looks like you two."

Oh. There was a bassinet! Amazing!

"Sir, that's impossible. We're two men. How would that happen?"

Malik patted Seto's arm. "Magic, Seto. Magic."

"I don't believe in all that hocus pocus stuff." Seto glared. Malik cozied up to him some more- pissing off Seto was fun.

"Well I do, and there's a baby here, and I don't see you offering up any explanations." Malik, his arms still wrapped around Seto's arm, dragged him the few feet to the bassinet.

There was a baby in it, as there often are in bassinets. It could have been newborn, but could also be a couple days after birth, all red and everything, and swaddled in white blanket. For some reason, Malik wasn't entirely repulsed. Underneath all the redness was a darker skin color- from Malik, obviously. The sparse hair on its scalp was dark, and its eyes were closed.

It was a boy.

"So... who wants to hold the baby first?" The doctor asked.

"I do. Gimme." Malik unwound his arms from Seto's arm and held them out. He had absolutely no experience with babies, but he'd watched enough Lifetime movies with his sister to know how to handle them.

The doctor picked up the baby carefully and handed up to Malik.

Malik peered down at the squished face, and he felt Seto looking over his shoulder. "Wow."

"People have babies everyday, Malik, it's raising them properly that's the miracle." Seto said.

"Well, about the odds, huh? We can raise this thing, right? The odds aren't against us... are they?" Malik asked.

Before Seto could answer, the tiny little squished mouth moved. Malik and Seto leaned in closer.

The baby made a sound not unlike "universal domination."

Seto and Malik looked at each other, varying expressions of horror and underlying delight on their faces.

"Oh, he's just like me!" Malik almost giggled, hugging the baby closer. "I wonder what he'll get from you, your charm?"

"I hate it when you get sarcastic."

"Only because I do it better then you."

"Only because you can never reach the heights of my wit."

"Well- oh Ra! What are we doing!" Malik suddenly said.

"We're bickering. That's how we flirt, I believe."

"This baby needs to grow up in a loving and stable enviroment!" Malik declared, running a finger along the baby's cheek.

"A stable environment with you in it?"

"Yes! A loving and stable environment so it doesn't have the kind of childhoods we did." Malik glared.

"Great."

"Mr. Kaiba, would you like to take the child home now?"

"Yes."

"well, we'll need a birth ceritifcate..."

"I can take care of that myself. Thank you."

Seto put his arm around Malik's waist and gently, for a change, led him out of the building.

It was confusing, since Seto had never been there in his life.

"Seto, what are we going to name it?" Malik held the baby protectively against his chest.

"Casey."

"Casey. After what?"

"My company. Initials for Kaiba Corperation."

"Real brilliant."

"I don't see you coming up with anything."

Malik fell into silence and thought. "Casey-Ra."

"Casey-Ra."

"Yes. He's actually the only person probably in this town that can trace his lineage back to the time of the Pharoahs."

"Alright. Whatever."

Malik rolled his eyes and peered around the next corner. Wonderful! It was the exit. Or entrance. It was a way out.

They strolled out into the sunlight, both pointedly ignoring an elderly woman who double-taked at them.

Malik looked around. "Seto, how did we get here?"

"I don't remember." Seto scanned the parking lot for any of his cars, or even Malik's motorcycle, although he'd sworn never to ride the thing.

"Did we walk here?"

"No. You'd be complaining."

Malik sighed. "Well, the only other way is..."

"...up."

They both turned around and looked up at the top of the building. One shiny blue wing caught the light enough to hurt Malik's eyes.

"How the hell are we supposed to get a baby out of here in your stupid jet?"

A MONTH LATER
"How did you get the baby out?"

"I can't tell you. It's some top secret thing, blah blah blah." Malik breathed loudly into the phone.

Isis had considerably calmed down some. "You named it Casey-Ra?"

"Yes. And he's a pretty little baby, aren't you honey?" Malik's sentence dropped off into baby talk. Isis wondered if he thought like that.

"Well... um... when do we get to see the baby?"

"Oh, maybe in a few months. Seto's all paranoid about somebody snatching his baby and Mokuba's still getting over it."

There was a distinct pause. If Malik hadn't been so wrapped up in the baby, he might have noticed how awkward it was.

"Oh, I have to get going. Bye, Isis!"

The phone clicked off and Isis automatically put the phone back in its cradle. She looked up at Rishid, who was just finished making dinner. He was very concerned.

"What's this about Malik and a baby?"

"Rishid, I think you're going to want to sit down..."