Alucard mocked Walter for performing menial tasks that were beneath him not just as Hellsing's butler, but as a vampire. "Just create your clothes from shadow, as I do. They exist only to satisfy human mores, anyway."
"If I didn't know that you were a happy newlywed, Alucard, I might have the impression that you were simply amused by the idea of seeing me walking around essentially nude." Walter had allowed himself a small smirking twitch of the lips at his old companion before turning away, schooling his face to its now accustomed impassivity.
What he lacked in expression, Walter found he more than made up for in a newly acerbic turn of thought. That impression is solidified by what Seras told me recently about your sleeping arrangements with the Countess.
He was laughing while he walked away, even if his face didn't show it, knowing that Alucard had heard exactly what he'd thought. He walked a fine line with the elder vampire, insulting him, but it was a game they'd played when Walter was younger and much more brash; they had stopped playing when Walter had matured. It was a sign of his mental state that they were back to playing the game again.
Laundry day was something Walter had always enjoyed. Yes, Hellsing had laundresses and Walter had no reason to ever do his own domestic work, but he had always been a self-sufficient man and preferred to take care of his personal affairs personally.
Sleeve garters had been carefully hand washed and clipped to a hanger to dry. Socks and underwear were tidily folded and waiting in the basket to be put away. His ties were ironed and neatly draped over a tie hanger waiting to be returned to his wardrobe. He had ironed seven identical pairs of black trousers, starched to military crispness seven shirts, both black and white, and immaculately pressed seven waistcoats, all of which hung in neat ranks waiting to be carried to his quarters and returned to their rightful places until they were needed.
It was such a delightfully human thing to be doing. Walter didn't lie to himself about his reasons for enjoying it so much. There were few enough reminders of his humanity; he took what tidbits he could find.
The very proper vampire glanced around before indulging one last human foible, holding a set of warm sheets to his face to enjoy the warmth, softness, and fragrance. It was a singularly nostalgic thing, bringing to mind many other times in his life when he'd stood in the Hellsing laundry room with fresh, hot, clean sheets in his hands.
He finished folding the sheets and added them to the basket to return to his room. It had taken some effort to find someone willing to make sheets of the quality he required that would fit a coffin, but it had been worth every phone call and every pound spent to have that one simple reminder that he'd once been human.
Written for alucardsbane in response to her request for a ficlet involving Walter and fresh bed linen.