Back to the Prince's POV
Chapter Twelve: With me
I looked at Farah, she was real, she was here, sitting in front of me...I thought I would be happy, and I am but yet I feel such a pain, because I have to look at her and know that she recalls nothing. I knew I could go through the whole story again, but that meant nothing to her, not really, that was all she thought it was, a story, although I had told it to her nearly twice now, she would never honestly believe it. She just thought she was in a standard princess-kidnap situation, she didn't believe anything about the Fountain of Sight, and now, even I found myself loosing faith.
"Farah, I really did love you in the reality that existed when I released the Sands, I understand that no recollection of this will exist in your mind...but surely some feeling towards me has been left within you?" I said. Farah shook her head.
"If I had recalled something about you and the whole incident of the Sands, then I wouldn't have been so unmannerly towards Shirin when she was trying to bring me to you," said Farah.
"Uh, 'unmannerly toward Shirin'? What exactly do you mean by that?" I asked, Shirin didn't actually look too happy when she had returned. Farah looked at the ground.
"Um...I wasn't exactly in agreement with going with her...we got into a bit of dispute." Murmured Farah. 'Dispute', I knew what that meant.
"Did you try shooting her?" I asked very straightforwardly. Farah looked offended.
"I would never harm anyone unless they brought it on themselves!" she defended looking up with a scornful face.
"Oh, so whenever you shot me I had it coming – charming!" I cried. This didn't effect Farah, she didn't remember ever firing arrows at me, and personally, it was an experience I would happily forget. There was silence for a while. I stood.
"What are you doing?" asked Farah, she watched me as I went over to the two horses and opened up some of the baskets.
"Shirin is probably going to take a while, I might as well get camp set up," I said. She looked back at the ground.
"Oh...I remember that girl, Shirin, from the marketplace, I didn't at first though. She was wearing a hooded cloak, like you," She said. I wasn't paying too much attention to her until she asked me a question. "Why is your cloak ripped so much?
"Because it got caught on some swords I was given by two visionaries. According to them, I'm going to die and one of the things that I had to do was find you and make you remember. Shirin repaired the cloak for me," I explained.
"What is she?" asked Farah's voice behind me.
"What do you mean? She is a Persian," I said.
"I doubt every Persian can summon the dead," murmured Farah, I turned to face her.
"What?" I asked, confused by what she was talking about.
"Before, she was able to summon the dead to fight for her," explained Farah.
"Well that's a new trick. She does a lot of weird stuff. She has the natural ability to change time, teleport and do that thing you just mentioned," I explained and went back to unpacking.
"And you trust her?" asked Farah, I turned round. I was annoyed by everyone's constant lack of understanding of why I trusted Shirin.
"I really do think we have been talking too much, why don't you just be quiet now?" I asked. I had never meant to snap at Farah like that but I felt a need to defend Shirin...sometimes I was worried about my feelings for Shirin, I knew, back in the marketplace I had almost kissed her, I hadn't meant to...I suppose it happened because we had been together so long, but also, it seemed like she was doing everything possible to attract me...no, I can't blame her, it is my fault if I am so gullible. I could see Farah was hurt, I would be too if I was in her situation. I continued to unpack as Farah sat silently. Why was I being like this? For about a month, I had longed to see Farah, and now that I was actually with her, I was arguing with her. I knew it would be frustrating, her not knowing but I didn't realise that it would be this painful, having to listen her deny any knowledge of our love. I couldn't even look at her because I knew it wasn't my Farah, my Farah knew who I was!
I was left at a slight predicament as I finished setting everything up, what was I going to do now, I had nothing to do. So I sat down beside Farah, it was very dark now; her face was lit by the moon causing a glazing effect over her eyes. I sat silently beside her, tracing my fingers along the ground; she suddenly broke the silence.
"I suppose...I have missed out on a lot," she mumbled quietly. I stopped and thought about her words.
"Truthfully, from my view it is better that this is something you have missed out on. I mean, if my desert-boots were on your feet and you were in the situation I am in... well, it is enough to drive any sane man mad," I murmured.
"So, it hurts a lot?" she asked. I nodded and replied.
"Even looking at you hurts never mind hearing your voice." Farah looked up at the glowing, enigmatic crescent that was the moon. I didn't look at her, not that much anyway, only out of the corner of my eye.
"If I received the memories that I had lost, they won't make me the Farah you loved, you do understand that don't you? Yes, I will be aware of what had happened, but that doesn't mean that it happened to me, me, me as in the person that I am now. I still won't have felt those emotions that I had felt during that day because this place that you want to take me to, it won't give me back those emotions, just memories of them," she said to me. So bleak and hopeless. I looked at her.
"And what happens if with the memories your emotions for me return?" I asked.
"Then I will love you, but then you have to ask, what would happen if those emotions do not return?" she said. I stood and walked away a little. I thought about her question, I knew the answer. She would feel like me, every single day.
"Then I have committed a terrible crime by allowing you to have these memories, for they will haunt you every hour of each day. Each day will be like a nightmare as these will memories claw away at your mind like some ravenous bird." I replied. There was silence. I continued to walk but then suddenly stopped as I heard Farah's voice.
"Then let the memories haunt me, I would rather be aware of everything I have done in life and have the hope of finding my love for you again, then just lead a life not knowing," she declared quietly. I knew she was looking at me, but I didn't face her.
"Are you saying that you will come with me then?" I asked, I was feeling optimistic, but I wouldn't allow myself to show this in my voice.
"I am not going so I will end up falling in love again with you, I am going because of my own need to know," Farah said, making sure I clearly understood. A smile was growing on my face, the reason didn't matter, what did was that Farah had agreed to come with me and that meant, if not only for a while, she would be with me and that was all I really wanted. Shirin suddenly teleported in front of me, making me jump slightly with fright, why was this girl always popping up at the most inappropriate of times?
"What are you smiling about? Oh don't bother answering, here's the wood," she said dropping several twigs and large cut-offs of wood, she looked at me, obviously expecting something, she finally gave a sigh and sat on the ground. "Okay, I'LL get Farah, I'LL get the sticks, I'LL make the fire – don't worry, I'm just incredibly tired!" she moaned trying to create a fire by smacking two stones together. Farah stood up and went to stand by Shirin.
"Um Shirin, I wish to apologise hurting you before," murmured. Shirin didn't look terribly impressed.
"Great, more people being nice to me, well, it's better that your not screaming your head off anymore, so you are coming with us, totally free of will?" Shirin asked.
"Well...I am not going with you because of your reason, so technically this is still against my will, but yes, I am coming with you and I will not be putting up anymore conflicts," explained Farah.
"Hm, whatever, just don't slow us down," ordered Shirin coldly. I cold see in Shirin's eyes a dislike for Farah. However, it wasn't a feud that would go that far, she couldn't be against Farah for the whole journey...could she?
The next morning I woke up early with the sound of clattering outside my tent. I pulled on my armour and cloak and went to see what the noise was. Farah was packing things away.
"Namaste," she greeted, a word that meant 'hello' or 'goodbye'. I watched her packing the things away, we had given her own tent, she wasn't really going to run off, not after what she had said before. She had cleaned the pots and pans that we had used last night to cook a meal in. It was a Persian meal and Farah said that I was well and truly a Bawarchis...it seemed a compliment, I didn't actually know what it meant.
"What are you doing?" I said. There was no sight of Shirin; she was probably still sleeping.
"You never really thought about the idea that by now someone would have noticed my disappearance and it is more than likely my father has sent a whole army of people to go and find me and then return me to the safe walls of the palace, did you?" she asked. The thought hadn't actually entered my mind but it was such an obvious thought and I was surprised at myself for not thinking of it.
"You're right, I'll go wake Shirin," I said and walked over to Shirin's tent. However, when I opened it I found Shirin, lying asleep, but tears were rolling down her cheeks and she was crying silently. What was wrong with her? What was she dreaming about?