Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade.
Title: Can't Fight Love
Chapter Title: Time to Grow
Rating: T
Categories: Angst/Romance.
Summary: Ray is in deeply in love with…? But what if she's married? Kai/Mariah/Ray. Who will Mariah choose? YOUR CHOICE!
Feedback: Reviews! YUM! Flames? Ah… toasting marshmallows…
Status: Nearly finished!
Notes: Inspired by Lemar's 'Time to Grow'. It's time.
CAN'T FIGHT LOVE
Kai/Mariah/Ray
Ray is deeply in love with…? But what if she's married? Who will Mariah choose? Your choice!
Flowerperson
© 2005
Chapter 10
Time to Grow
Ray watched her enter the room and his breath caught in his throat. Every time he looked at her she just took his breath away. How did she do that? When did she start doing this to him?
Similar to how we began this story, they were at a party. This celebration was being thrown by the BBA to celebrate the New Year. All those that had helped in BBA overcome BEGA were honorary members and treated like VIP. They were invited to most of the company's galas and anniversaries. Since the sport had been such an influence to them, many of them regularly attended.
Christmas had passed but no snow had fallen so far. There were rumours from the weather forecast that it would snow this evening but they had been no sign of a snowflake and it was approaching ten o'clock.
She was wearing a dazzling rose-coloured dress with a white shawl covering her slender arms. One arm was linked with her husband's and Ray was forced to look away, unable to stand the sight. A burning feeling rose within him as he clenched his fists (glad that he had just given the waiter back his glass). He hoped that by looking away, he would stop seeing that sight but it was plastered onto his brain, taunting him.
She's not yours.
And it's your entire fault.
He urged the voice to shut up as he made a sudden bee-line for the male room. Leaning over the sink, he splashed cold water into his face before staring at his reflection in the mirror.
How pitiful. His amber eyes were devoid of life and spark that they had once possessed when he had been a teenager. His skin was far paler, due to the absence of sleep that he was suffering from. Ray's hair was tied back as it usually was and still had its raven colour (being only in his twenties, he wouldn't expect any greys yet) but lacked the sheen that Mariah had gushed over.
Ray tried to sleep it off. Really he did. But dreams were only full of her. Her silky hair… her soft skin… her warm lips… All his sub-conscious centred on was Mariah. He only thought of her and it was becoming worrying.
It had developed into an obsession – an addiction.
Last night had been the worse. He had witnessed himself (the dream was in a third-person perspective) hurt her and when she escaped to Kai, he had snapped and decided that… if Ray couldn't have her, no one could.
The expression on his face had frightened him – but hers had been the worse. He had woken covered in sweat and had for a moment, thought it was true. He didn't know what he would have done if he hadn't realised that it was only a dream. Only a dream. But as the jealousy surged, he feared that there was the slightest chance that it could become a reality.
No, I'd kill myself before Mariah was harmed.
Was this too dangerous? Was he falling too hard? Was it… unhealthy?
Of course it was unhealthy! He had broken her heart and now was obsessed with her, his thoughts constantly on her. His eyes persistently searching for her. Ray had found himself randomly murmuring her name for no reason. It just naturally flowed from his lips like it was natural. "Mariah," he whispered, loving how it rolled on his tongue.
The water dripped down his face but he did not wipe it off. He had other problems. He had other worries.
He was lonely. This fact was undeniably so. It was unfair – Kai had always been the lonely one and Ray had always been the one with Mariah clinging onto his arm. Now their positions had reversed. Kai had seen Ray's mistakes and he would not make them himself. Oh no, Kai was perfect. Kai never made a mistake.
Shame how they couldn't all be genetically-altered test subjects.
No. It was wrong for him to take it out on Kai. Or was it? He had stolen his Mariah. He knew that deep down, even when Ray rejected her, he loved her very much. Mariah had always been for Ray, and he had always been from her. Salima was just a… fling. True, they had shared some tender moments but nothing compared to what Mariah and Ray had gone through together. The two neko-jin had known each all their lives and developed a strong friendship between them.
Ray had thought that it was unbreakable. It turned out that it wasn't.
Life was so hard now. So hard without her beside him, comforting him, spurring him on, guiding him. He had never meant to do her wrong. Salima had been a fling! A fling! A stupid, time-wasting fling… This 'fling' had ruined the rest of his life, and had changed Mariah's. Was this what Fate had planned? He had thought that his Destiny was with Mariah but no. It wasn't.
Her destiny was with Kai.
Now all had been said and done. He had made his mistakes, these were the consequences. Ray bashed his hand against the basin and the white china cracked slightly, cutting into his hand but he ignored the blood. He ignored the pain. The dark-haired man didn't want this life! He didn't want Salima! He just…
He wanted Mariah.
Maybe she would realise this and return to him. Ah, wishful thinking. She would not return to him when she had a trusting, powerful, rich, caring (well… Ray didn't know if Kai had become caring but maybe Mariah had changed him…?) husband who she could put all her faith in. He would never betray her for some stupid fling.
Ray walked out of the bathroom and towards the exit. He couldn't stand this. He couldn't be in the same room as the man who had stolen the love of his life. His heart (what was left of it) would not be able to manage. On the way, Ray could not stop his eyes searching for her and as he reached the doors, they noticed her talking with Kai and giggling. He paused.
Her eyes met his, and that was when he finally left.
The night was very cold. The suit (managing to be formal and casual all at the same time) he wore did not offer enough warmth to stop the shivers and trembles that passed through his body. Were they from the weather?
Or was it from his heart? Tears cascaded down his face from his golden eyes as he continued to silently sob in the moonlit night. People ignored him as they walked past, too caught up in the festive time to notice the Chinese man's anguish. He didn't mind, he preferred that his tears went un-noticed. Ray did not cry often, and he would hate for a random stranger – or even worse, someone that knew him – to see him suffering from this immense misery and pity him.
He didn't want pity.
He wanted love.
Just like Mariah, all he really craved was a love to warm him when he felt cold. A love to guide him when he felt lost. A love to protect him when he was vulnerable.
Freezing, missing and helpless, the love could have not been needed more.
Where was he supposed to go? What was he supposed to do? He couldn't hide these feelings that were for Mariah, they continued to poke and prod at his defenceless soul. He needed her love and he wished that she could say that she felt the same.
Snow. He wasn't aware of it, too caught up in his thoughts of a certain pink-haired woman.
He had damaged their bond, how did he fix it? How was he supposed to mend this ache that surrounded his heart? How did he get rid of these feeling of loneliness? She was gone with another man – a better man – and he was here, alone. Time to move on, the wind whispered in his ear but he ignored them. He wouldn't… no… couldn't move on without Mariah.
Wiping away his tears furiously, he only wanted her to hold him and kiss him and tell him that Kai would never be able to replace him. Their bond was still intact, and would never be broken or removed. Kai was still Kai. Ray was still Ray. Mariah was still Mariah. And that Mariah had been Ray's.
The bond would be able to reappear. He couldn't go on with this too long, it hurt too much. Soon, he would crumble into a deep depression without her love to keep him safe.
Too late. The mistakes had been made. The consequences had been activated.
"Ray!" a sweet voice called. He turned abruptly and saw her running towards him wearing only her pink dress and white shawl. Goosebumps showed up on her arms and as he looked deep into her amber eyes, he noticed white snowflakes on her delicate lashes. Funny. He hadn't even noticed that the weather forecast had been correct.
"Mariah," he breathed and opened his mouth, ready to say something – anything – that would prove to her that he loved her. And that she still loved him! They were meant to be!
But…
She had looked so happy with Kai, so full of glee and love that he didn't want to tear her away. He knew (although he denied it) that their time was over. He would never be able to control her feelings or be able to bring them back. She no longer returned his love so he had to be strong – be a man – and move on.
It was time to grow.
"What's wrong?" she questioned; her voice as tender and gentle as it had always been.
He smiled sadly before taking off his jacket and putting it around her shoulders. "You shouldn't be out here. You'd catch a cold." She grinned and responded that he shouldn't be out in the cold either and that he would catch a cold. She looked so happy, and her cheeks were red from the bitter weather.
Kai made her happy.
Ray made her cry.
"Ray, about what we talked about, I—" He felt the sudden urge to kiss her, but he knew that he couldn't. What would that do? Only complicate matters further and cause more pain (physical and emotional).
"It's okay, Mariah," he sighed as he took her hand and led her back to where the party was being held, "I know you don't return the feelings and I've decided…" he inhaled sharply, was he really going to do this? "…That I'll live. I'll move on, just like you told me to. I'll find someone again—" Although they'll never be as perfect for me as you, "—and live the rest of my life."
He could make it, as long as she was cheerful. He loved her enough to allow her a lifetime of happiness, even though it wasn't with him. He wouldn't be there, but she would be content. He would learn from his mistakes.
Kai met with them by the entrance and Ray nodded humbly as Mariah handed him back his jacket. Kai glared at him warily before grunting and pulling Mariah back into the hall. Ray sighed – one full of misery and tragedy – but then perked up as he saw Max and Tyson joking around. He walked over to them and joined into the conversation.
His eyes continued to glance to her, but she never looked back.
She had truly moved on.
And so would he…
Eventually.
You can't fight love.
But you can sure as hell ruin your own.
Authoress' Notes
And the winner is (with 71 votes compared to 30)… KAI! ((Balloons and streamers everywhere)) It was sort of obvious when he suddenly overtook Ray but hey! It's been one hell of a ride! ((Tries not to throw up as she gets off the rollercoaster))
Have I managed to convert any Ray/Mariah shippers?
Congratulations on reading through a Kai/Mariah/Ray story! It just shows that alternate pairings, OOC Kais and angst-filled love triangles can be fun! I hope that you continue to read Kai/Mariah since it is such a crazy, whacky, never-gonna-happen pairing!
Poor Ray ((glomps)). Hey, maybe I'll do an alternate ending if enough reviewers request it… ((wink, wink, nudge, nudge))
Alternate ending or no alternate ending?
Here's to 2006! ((Clanking of glasses))
Flowerperson