Okay, I'll keep this note as short as I can because I know you're all annoyed at me for not updating sooner but I have had broadband installed today so this is the first time the internet has been working for me in ages. Okay, now the trials really aren't just full of violence, they'reare more psycological (yes I probably have mispelt that)- I have told you from now so don't start saying you were just expecting dicaptitations and blood (if you want that go read my other fic) . One reviewer was finding it hard to understand the whole Shirin/Dahaka thing so I'll do my best to explain it here, a different version of Shirin was created before time, it is the spirit of this being that is part of the Shirin that we all know. This other version was created by Dahaka and because it still resides within our Shirin and is part of her, it technically makes Dahaka her creator or father, Shirin's physical body isn't connected at all to the Dahaka though. It is hard to make it easier to read parts when Dahaka is talking to Shirin, but just think of it as the Dahaka is a voice in her head- does that help at all? Also, another reader, called Armani (cool name - I think it's Persian) said something about more romance - this fic is nearly finished but they'll be romance in the sequel. Sorry I can't remember your names, anyway, here is the next chapter (you may need to read the last chapter just to remind yourself, yes I know these four chapters are a little weird, I do hope you understand them).

Chapter Twenty-two: Freak

I eased my eyes open to find myself stood alone in a room. The room had an air of familiarity about it, the walls were stone and just off white and there was a large open window, I could see calm but empty lands, the window seemed to overlooking some sort of courtyard but from what I saw outside of it, the land was pretty secluded, yet it was warm - I must have been back in Persia. It was such a plain room, and the bare floorboards didn't help. I looked around and found to my surprise a young girl (from her size I would have said she was about seven, she seemed quite meagre) sitting on a low bed. She was wearing a slight mismatch of clothes, a old black worn skirt that had been darned with a number of white and yellow fabrics, a sleeveless top that like the skirt was black but it was too big for her and hadn't been made very well, she hadn't any shoes but she wore some black finger-less glove and some black strips of fabric had been tied around her skinny arms. She must have had short hair for a grey bandanna was tied tightly around her head, not revealing any hair at all. Her head was in her hands and I could hear her weeping. I knelt down and tried to say some words of comfort, but my words seemed unheard as if I wasn't even there. This whole scene felt so familiar - I was sure I had seen it somewhere before. However, as the girl raised her head and a pair of striking green eyes stared through me, I suddenly realised that I hadn't seen this scene before, I had been in it; I was the girl.

I just blinked as I stared at the dark oval face that was exactly like mine, the features just slightly less developed. Her eyes were glazed and the marks of where the tears had flowed were obvious. I looked at the bandanna and the dark memory came back to me and it began to replay itself in my mind.

I had never meant to steal the young apprentice warrior's chain - I didn't realise it was his father's and that it meant a lot to him. I'd taken it and I'd kept it but when he found out he was so unbelievably angry at me, he screamed at me for ages, saying he would have killed me when I was a baby and that he would make my life a living hell. He really did, I hadn't any official guardian, but a kind chief-warrior, called Behnam, treated me like I was his daughter; at least, he did until the apprentice warrior (he was called Atash) set it up to look like I had stolen a very important ring (it was his engagement ring - I lived in a small secluded temple with a number of warriors all in training, they stayed there for many years and Behnam, though engaged to be wed, was staying at the temple until he had earned the title of a skilled warrior) of Behnam's and ever since then Behnam distanced himself from me and never talked to me again. It was from this point that all the warriors that had always hated me could let it show. However, the torture didn't just stop there. Atash was talking to me, it was the evening and most of the warriors were outside sparing in the coolness the evening brought. The room was a sparing room but it was empty except for the young-child-me and Atash whom was about fifteen. I hadn't a clue how I had gotten in there, I would never go in a room with Atash; he must have seen me passing and asked me to come in. I stood while Atash was holding a torch; he was making sure the flame stayed tame. It felt like I, the older me that is, was stood in the room watching. I remembered everything that was said perfectly.

"Shirin," said Atash calmly, the young child that was I looked up at Atash. "Do you know what a freak is?" he asked. The child shook her head. "Well what would you say a freak is?" asked Atash. The child stayed silent and then shrugged. "Well if you are a little freak of nature, you're abnormal, a mutation of what is normal, remind you of anyone?" asked Atash. I knew what he was saying, but the child didn't and I knew what would eventually happen. The child shook her head. "Well it does remind me of someone, someone who can move to different places without walking or anything, do you know who I'm talking about?" he asked. The child shook her head again. Atash suddenly took a harsher tone and grabbed the child's arm so she couldn't run. "YOU! You are a freak!" he screamed in her face. I knew for a fact that if this was actually happening again then I would take a knife off a wall and kill Atash, but this was just a memory.

"I want to go now," she murmured, the young me. A sly grin appeared on Atash's face, he looked at the young girl, she held the ponytail that was in her hair, as a child I had beautiful long black hair, I treasured it so much; brushing it up ten times a day in hope it would remain sleek and beautiful. Atash knew how much I loved my hair, how I treasured it. His hand moved from the child's arm to her ponytail. I saw the younger version of me trying to pull away but Atash kept a tight hold of her hair. He moved the torch so the flame caught my hair. It was agony watching it happen, seeing me scream as the fire burnt my scalp. Why did Atash have to hate me so much? It wasn't my fault I couldn't help but take things I didn't even particularly want and as for my abnormalities, I'd never asked to be born with them!

I opened my eyes and I found I was still in the bedroom with the young me sitting on the bed. Luckily, Behnam had been returning from a fencing class and he put the fire out, some of my hair hadn't been burnt but the ends and most of the hair was all frizzled. Atash said that I had been messing with the torch and that my hair had got caught in it; I didn't bother to put up any defence, I didn't say anything, even when Behnam asked me, I didn't say anything. For a little while, Behnam was kind to me again. He had to shave my hair so the hair would grow again; he promised it would grow back so it was even more beautiful then before. I knew he probably believed me over Atash, yet there was always the reminder that I had 'stolen' his ring and because of this, our friendship could never be re-built. I remember that from that day I didn't talk to anyone at all. Atash continued to make things worse, he turned the young students at the temple against me, and whenever I would pass, they would begin to chant 'Freak! Freak!'. I looked at the young version of me sitting on the bed. I saw the anger in her eyes, the hatred for Atash. She got up and she opened the door to her room, I knew what I had done and I knew what it was that I was going to see again, yet nevertheless, I followed. She walked through the corridors, receiving glares and stares from those who passed. The young students whispered rumours to their friends. No one seemed to be able to see me, maybe I wasn't here, maybe I was dreaming; it sure felt like a dream, things seemed soundless and vague. She entered a room, there were five junior warriors in the room; they were all facing away from the entrance. One of them was Atash. I saw the eyes of the young me drifting over to were a number of weapons were laid down. She moved and struggled to pick up one of the smaller swords - I had never been a particularly strong child. She moved silently, keeping the sword above the ground so it wouldn't drag. She stood behind Atash; I saw the bitterness that she felt appear on her face. She struck Atash, but only with the flat side of the sword, she knew she couldn't harm him badly with the sword, I remember thinking that I wasn't strong enough to kill him with a sword because I could barely hold it. Atash fell with a cry and the startle spread among the other warriors. The child immediately wrapped her hands around Atash's neck.

"I'll kill you! I hate you! I'll kill you!" she screamed. I remember thinking, that I didn't care how, I just wanted Atash dead, dead for what he had done; life had been hard enough without him adding more pain into it. Suddenly the walls of the world began to drip down into blackness and the figures all faded away until I was alone in this blackness.

"Your life," I heard a voice whisper. It felt like it was right next to me, yet no one was stood by me. "A tragic mystery." The voice was that of a woman and it appeared to flutter around me.

"Who are you?" I questioned. An odd spirit-like creature seemed to form in front of me. The creature wasn't physical; I seemed to be aware that if I stretched out to grab it, my hand would just follow through it and end up back in the black canvas that was this world. The creature was a pure white and its features could be seen but seemed somewhat obscured, and the eyes, the eyes were just black hollows. I had never seen anything like it. "Was it you that showed me that stuff?" I asked after realising that the creature didn't have a name. The creature didn't say anything but words that belonged to its voice seemed to stream into my head.

"Why did you try and murder someone?" the voice asked.

"I…I didn't try and murder him," I muttered in my defence.

"But you tried to kill him, therefore, you tried to murder him," said the voice. It seemed to have a slight edge to it and it sounded very 'judging' but pure nevertheless.

"Why'd you show me that? You know that I hated that part of my life," I asked. It was funny in some way, I said 'you know', as if I really did know for a fact that this being knew everything about me. There was no answer. I stared at the being and then turned round, I began to walk away, hoping to find an exit from this abyss.

"Freak." I suddenly stopped as the word entered my head. I turned round sharply to find the creature right next to me, I backed away a little in surprise.

"What did you just say?" I asked sharply.

"It's a word that makes you go crazy, a word that hits a nerve, you hate being called that," said the voice. I turned around again and began walking. "But when you go into depth about you, Shirin, it is quite the operative word," fluttered the voice. I shut my eyes, trying to block out the words, but as I closed my eyes, I seemed to just fall deeper into the blackness. "You are a coward, you run because it is easier, you are a thief, an outcaste. You never face up to your problems," the voice said. I muttered for the voice to be quiet, maybe because deep inside I actually believed everything it said, or maybe, everything it was saying was true. I shook the thought.

"Who else would you kill? Will you kill those two with you?" asked the voice. I stood still and turned around with a perplexed face.

"What? What sort of stupid question is that? I asked.

"What will you do if you see something after drinking from that fountain that you don't like, and then Farah will have her memories back and she will be happy, while you are left wallowing in your self-pity," the voice said, it wasn't taunting me, or at least it didn't sound like it was yet everything it said still hurt. "You are Dahaka's assassin, killing is what you were born for so why not just do it?" asked the voice. This finally made me snap. I turned to look at the spirit-like creature that, again, was right beside me.

"Who are you to judge me? Yes, you can see right into my past, but you can't see into my mind! Have you ever woken up wishing you hadn't and in the event that you have, were you seven years of age? Have you ever seen a mother and father cradle a child and wish it were you, or have you ever seen that and you can't understand it because you don't know what love is? Have you been made to walk around with shame but you can't understand how you've earned it?" I asked. The being was silent. "Well until you do and you have felt what I felt as a child, then you can go and judge me, but until then you should stay silent. I am not Dahaka's assassin; I am Shirin. I may have been a servant of Dahaka's before this life but I'm not any longer - but I have to know about my other identity! I need to know who I was; I have to get my memories back! None of your words will twist me, I will do what I want to," I ordered. I stood still; even I was slightly surprised by the strength that was in my words. The 'walls' of the shapeless world began to drip down into whiteness, with a slight mystical flash, the ghostly creature changed into a human, or at least, what I guessed was a human. 'It' became a 'she'. She was quite beautiful if not a little strange looking; her eyes seemed a little too far spaced out and long, but other than that she was pretty with long flowing white hair, I had never seen anyone with that type of hair nor had I seen someone who had such a white skin pigment. She wore some sort of white garment that wasn't Persian or Indian. The sleeves were short, barely coming past her biceps, but where her sleeves stopped long white feathers continued. Her white skirt was similar to a sarong and revealed little of her feet that I could barely see. I saw that her eyes were highly decorated and then it suddenly hit me…this was one of the Spirits Farah had talked of. "Okay, next time you wish to do some creepy crap, warn me!" I cried. The Spirit seemed to have a very calm face.

"Shirin, you obviously have the strength to be able to cope with the memories you wish to receive," said the Spirit.

"Wait, yet me just get this right. You basically made me relive a part of my life that consequently got me kicked out of what was my home and made me hated by nearly everyone just so you could see my reaction and see if it would make my mind crack?" I asked.

"I prefer the term 'mentally challenge','" said the Spirit.

"Well, if you're 'all-seeing' then why don't you just see what I do when I get the memories?" I asked.

"Shirin, fate is something that is something that can highly un-final, I can't see everything," the Spirit replied. "This place was created by Dahaka as a place where all memories from any time zone would be stored, this includes your memories that are from outside of the timeline. Now I must still warn you about the fact I am totally unaware of what your actions will be after you have drank from fountain and that I am allowing you to pass only because of my own judgement of you," explained the Spirit slightly cautiously.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, I have absolutely nothing in common with Dahaka even though he created me…and he's technically my mother, father, sister, brother, aunt, uncle and every other family member title. I'm not going to go psycho no matter what I see," I explained.

"Hm. Really." The Spirit said slightly sceptically.

"So, guessing that I'm going to be going back to the Temple some time soon, I have one more question, just out of pure interest, how old are you?" I asked, I felt relieved now that the trial was over, and the fact that I could kid myself that it had been easy. The Spirit was silent for a while as I could see in her eyes that was trying to add up the years,

"Roughly…I'm about three-billion, nine-million, nine-thousand, nine-hundred and ninety-nine-years. I was created after my male-counterpart, whom is exactly four-billion years old," the Spirit replied. I blinked with a blank face.

"Gawd. I hope I look as good as you after that many years," I murmured.

"Actually, technically you are older than I am, not physically as you are only seventeen and a few months physically, but your spirit and soul has existed since…well since Dahaka existed and he has been around for infinity," the Spirit said. I looked at her.

"What? Could you just explain that last bit again?" I asked, but my time here was up. I began to feel faint and soon I passed out.

"Shirin…Shirin are you okay?" I opened my eyes, I saw the Prince's head and Farah's looking over me. My vision focused and I saw their faces were very blank.

"Did you know that at one point…I was bald?" I murmured still feeling dizzy and faint.

"Now I've heard some weird things said when people come to, but that is definitely ranking at number one," I heard Farah say. I sat up slowly, I had collapsed in the centre of the platform, I soon found that the design on stone platform was that of the Spirit I had just seen; however, the picture was in profile and right beside her was another spirit-like creature and above them was a pair of eyes.

"What happened to you? You just passed out," asked Farah. I stood and shrugged.

"I guess I just fainted because I haven't eaten anything recently, that's all," I murmured. I looked over at the frozen ice pool and I saw some rays of light shinning on it from the clear ice above it. "Dawn already? I must have been out for ages," I muttered. I stood up, shaking slightly. I thought it best not to tell the two of what I had seen; I didn't really want them to know that I also wanted to drink from the fountain - if they did know then they could accuse me for only coming here because of my own want and that I didn't care about them at all. I seriously doubted that if they did know that they would say this, but there was always a chance. "Let's not stand around any longer, I don't like this place," I said, folding my arms as the chill started to get to me.

"Likewise, also I just want to get this stupid trial over with," murmured Farah quietly. I knew she was thinking about my well-being, but she was also worrying about the trial and this was obviously something that lingered quite heavily in her mind. We walked up onto the next platform, the design was the same but nothing happened. We were near the Temple, but I knew that as soon as Farah was on the last platform it would be her trial. A knot tied itself inside of me as we approached the last platform; I couldn't understand why I was so worried; in all honestly, I cared very little for Farah and so it wasn't like I was worrying about her. We stepped onto the platform and suddenly Farah gasped and collapsed onto the stone floor. I looked at her but didn't move; the Prince however was immediately kneeling beside her, trying to wake her. She looked fine, she was breathing okay and she just looked like she was asleep. I wondered what she would be made to relive in her trial…