Okay, now I'm not being long-winded in these chapters, but I just want you to learn about the Prince's family, emotions being felt, things like that – I'm sorry these chapters are coming along slowly and I'd like to thank everyone reading this for putting up with that, but death really isn't a subject I like writing about, the next chapters will probably be from Farah's view, though there's a odd little twist in the epilogue :P

Chapter 27: Back home

There was a slightly unearthly feeling in the air, I felt uncomfortable, but I had walked so much now I had forgotten the routes I had taken. The moon was full but it almost seemed a slight abnormal reddish colour, I'd never seen anything like it before.

"Farah?" I jumped; I didn't think anyone would be awake at this time. The voice was a little unusual, it sounded unwell, like the person, who I could identify as a young woman, was suffering from some illness. It came from behind a tent larger than the others, one that was taller and wider so someone could easily hide behind it without being seen. I slowly turned round the corner, I hadn't my bow and arrow, they had actually been taken off me; I had been carrying them into the campsite but before I could even realise anything Atefah had taken them off me. Sat on the ground, was a small figure in a black cloak. She was crawled up and her head was down.

"I'm lost, Farah," she muttered again in her unwell tone. How did she know my name? Maybe she was a member of the camp and it was likely by now word of my presence had spread.

"Well what tent were you in? Was it at the edge of the camp or near the mountains?" I asked trying to help the girl.

"No…not like that…I don't know where to go…" she murmured, she sounded incredibly helpless, I thought for a few moments about who she was, what exactly was her job?

"Who are you? What's your name?" I asked, trying not to sound too intruding. The figure began to shake her head.

"I don't even know that…I don't know who I am…I'm sorry," murmured the girl.

"'Sorry'? What for? I do not know you," I asked, the girl was being confusing, maybe she was confused herself.

"I know you don't know me, how can someone know me if I don't even know myself?" she began to weep. I stared at her and then slowly, I began to realise something.

"Is it you? Shirin? If this is you tell me!" I knew the concept was insane; the dead stay dead, but I couldn't help but believe that this was Shirin.

"Farah?" This time it wasn't from the girl, I turned round swiftly and saw the Prince. I turned round again. The girl wasn't there anymore, there was nothing but shadows. I turned back to the Prince. He wore a baggy, shirt-like garment instead of his armour and I could see by the dazed look in his eyes he had been sleeping.

"Did you see her?" I asked immediately.

"Who?" he asked. That was a 'no' then. I couldn't believe it, I knew she had been sitting there, I knew it was Shirin, but that wasn't logical at all, Shirin was dead and I had seen her die. This could not be my conscious, I felt no guilt - I had never done anything wrong to Shirin.

"She was there! I swear! It was Shirin!" I cried.

"Farah, you're becoming hysterical…you know Shirin is dead," said the Prince, I stared at him but I could understand that he was just being logical; it wasn't as if he wanted Shirin dead. "It was likely some illusion caused in your mind," I began to step away from the shadows and closer to the Prince. The shadows…I had a fear that if I got too close to them, then I'd eventually get caught up in the darkness of it.

"Farah?" asked the Prince, I turned and looked at him, "You do remember? You do have your memories back, don't you?" he asked. I smiled at him and embraced him.

"Yes but you do understand that this is not the right time for us to be thinking of our relationship," I smiled.

"What do you mean?" asked the Prince, still in the embrace.

"I mean to announce it to everyone, we should wait to our families meet in Amber…and once Shirin is buried," I explained. The Prince was silent, for a few moments in our embrace we had forgotten about our grief, but now with the mentioning of Shirin the saddened emotions began to grow inside of him again. I took the Prince's hand and tried to make us forget again.

"I want you to know, that even if I hadn't retrieved my memories, I still would have wished to be your wife. We have gone through so much together, my memories just add to my want to be with you." My words, they were true and it was the Prince that would choose whether to believe them or not, but I could tell by the look in his eyes that he believed me. There was a sudden murmur in the darkness; it made me jump and my heart miss a beat as I thought it was the girl, Shirin, returning…but it was not. It was Atefah, she stood with folded arms, I hadn't even heard her even walk up to us, I didn't like the way she could move so quietly and lurk around without being noticed. Surprisingly she was stood smiling.

"Very touching," she murmured, not in an arrogant, angry or sarcastic way though, which was not something I had been expecting. I let go of the Prince's hand and stepped back, I thought Atefah would eventually get annoyed but no such thing happened.

"You two really do love each other don't you?" she said, "Farah, I will be honest with you, if anyone in my family was against the idea of you and my brother marrying them it was probably me. My father believe alliance to your country is not completely an unwelcome matter, you are rich in a number of resources after all and so, it was unlikely you would not get my father's blessing…but I expected mine to be much hard to earn. I am obviously proven wrong," she smiled; she looked down for a few moments and then back up to us. "I know not of the real reason why you went on this journey and you need not tell me for it does not matter…what matters is the bond that had been built from it. I think it best you return to your tents now, we will begin travelling early tomorrow," Atefah finally concluded. She stood and made sure we went in separate directions, it wasn't like we were planning not to do so anyway.

As I returned to my tent under Atefah's supervision, I began to wonder whether she would ever ask about the real reason why we went on our journey. Before leaving me, she told me to sleep well…I wished I could have, but the image of Shirin continued to plague me…I couldn't understand why though and neither could I understand why I was so fearful of her…I just hoped eventually I would be able to sleep easy.

As the days progressed, the image didn't leave me as I had essentially thought it would. There was magus travelling within the camp, I thought he would be of some help so I went to visit him. He was a young man, which was a surprise for I thought wisdom came with age. His hair was a rich brown and had a certain amount of thickness to it, it was long, touching his shoulders; but I didn't see it out that much, only for a few seconds as I entered the tent. He was stood facing away from me; he was sat and appeared to be in prayer as he quietly chanted. He wore a large and long brown robe which had a hood.

"Uh…excuse me?" I asked trying not to bother him but it was inevitable that I would get his attention. He quickly snapped out of chanting and pulled his hood up and turned to face me. Before even looking at him I could tell he was a young man – his build was not frail, his build in fact, was rather feminine, he had wide hips and a small waist, his face was feminine too, his brown eyes looked sensitive and emotional. He stared at me, his face was a little unclear so I wasn't sure whether he was annoyed at my presence or not.

"I was looking for a magus, I have been having some dreams that I do not understand and I wish them to cease," I explained. The magus gestured for me to sit.

"What happens in your dreams?" he questioned. The tent was in fact rather cramped, full of books and unusual objects that I assumed where ingredients.

"Do you know of the woman that was dead when she brought into the camp?" I asked. The man nodded. "It is her that I see, I see her face, and I have heard her voice before – sometimes I even wonder whether she is dead or not," I explained.

"I see, well, I can confirm she is dead – I have seen her," the magus said.

"And? What does she look like?" I asked; the magus stared at me gently.

"Well…she looks like what can be expected of a dead body," he said, there was a slight pause, and then he added "however…her body hasn't…" I could see him looking for a subtle word, but he failed to find one, "decayed as fast as it is suppose to, in fact, it practically hasn't,"

"Hasn't the body been embalmed yet?" I enquired.

"It is in the process of…it is a little hard when everyday you have to pack up and move," he explained.

"I see…" I murmured; letting him know that I had acknowledged what he had said although I was sure my face was completely blank.

"Anyway, about your nightmares, I can mix up some ingredients that make you fall asleep much faster and will send you into a deep sleep where you will not dream, will that help?" he asked. I nodded. The magus smiled and stood, he moved over to a small area with a number of unusual ingredients and a mortar and pestle. "I will bring the mixture to you later," he said and with that I slowly stood, I couldn't help but feel sleepy, it had been so long since I had last had a good night's sleep, not only was insomnia caused by Shirin but while on the journey I had found it hard to sleep. Just before I left the magus tried to ask me something.

"Princess, you do understand that, when someone dies, it is usually up to the family to make enragements for the body, for instance how they will be buried and…Shirin, the young woman, as my cousin said, does not appear to have any family that we know of…and…since you were the only ones with her…and since my cousin is so rapt with sadness…" I could see what he was trying to ask. The Prince was his cousin; the magus' father was a priest and the brother of the King.

"Did he ask you to ask me?" I asked him.

"No, no, no," the magus immediately said, I stared at him.

"I won't be offended if he has," I said.

"Well…yes, he did but he is practically ill with grief – the last time I saw him was when he was wondering around about a week ago in the night, since then he has remained in his tent and has not emerged unless he really has to, I do worry for his health," the magus explained. I could see he honestly cared for his cousin but personally I didn't believe running away and not excepting his problems would help.

"I will make enragements for Shirin," I started.

"Thank you, princess, I am sure this will take some weight of my cousin's mind," thanked the magus; however I had something to add.

"But I will want the Prince at some time to come and see her body," I added.

"Ah…now I don't think that is such a good idea…" murmured the magus.

"It will help him accept the fact that she is gone – I can do this because I have accepted it…even if before I was unsure I am no longer uncertain," I said. The magus finally gave in.

"Fine – I'll ask my cousin," he finally said. I smiled.

"Thank you for your help," I thanked and then left the tent. I wondered whether my actions had been unfair…but then again, it would not help if the Prince was in constant self-denial and kept on living in the past.

As I walked through the camp, I thought I saw the Prince, but it was his elder brother Arshia, I suppose I was a little disappointed at it being him for it had been a week since I had last seen the Prince. Briefly during the week I had talked to Arshia, and he seemed quite a quiet and helpful man, always with a peaceful smile spread across his face. He was sat on the outskirts of the camp (probably to try and find some peace and quiet no doubt) and he appeared to be writing something. As I got closer, I could see that on the paper he was writing on was a drawing of a person and he was actually giving the drawing a title. I stood over his shoulder, he didn't appear to realise my presence looking at the drawing. It was incredibly skilfully done and I could imagine it had taken him the whole morning to draw it. The lines of ink were incredibly fine, beside him lay strands of a horse's mane's hair and I figured that he must have used them to draw the picture. The picture was that of a woman and I couldn't but help notice how the woman had a likeness to Shirin. She had the same point chin and nose as Shirin and she also had the same skinny build and the woman appeared quite short too. The woman had a gentle smile and eyes like Arshia, these were two aspects I didn't really relate to Shirin, Shirin's eyes were emotional and slightly curious but not exactly gentle, I had seen her smile a few times but when she did smile it was a slightly dark smile. Another difference was the fact that the woman looked nothing like Shirin in the way she dressed. The woman was obviously noble in some way, her clothes were lavish and she wore jewellery – she was a princess. However, there was something about her in her face, a slight look of being uncomfortable, as if she didn't like being of such a high status, she seemed slightly overwhelmed by the jewellery that draped her. I leaned forward to try and get more of a view of her but my body created a shadow over the picture and Arshia suddenly turned to look at me. I expected him to be quite annoyed at me but he greeted me with a smile.

"Farah, how are you?" he asked.

"I'm fine, thank you for asking," I replied, I was still looking at his picture; I tried not to because it seemed slightly rude of me. "Who is she?" I asked. Arshia looked at the picture.

"She's was my wife," he replied, I remembered what the Prince had said; his wife had died last year. I wasn't sure what to say, was I to give him my condolences, or apologise, or maybe comment on how well the picture was drawn or his wife's beauty? "She was called Dara," he added.

"Oh…" I murmured.

"You don't have to be so quiet," he smiled.

"Oh I am not purposely…it's just…well…I heard about her death…" I ended up saying.

"Do not worry…it is something I am not too badly hurt by any more…we all die, it is the way of nature," he murmured, I thought at first slightly cold-hearted…but then when I considered it a little longer it was actually quite a strong thing to be able to say; a part of him obviously missed his wife, it could be seen in his eyes whenever her name was mentioned but he wasn't going to deny the fact she was dead, a part of me wish the Prince could be like this, but then I had to remember that Arshia had had a year and he had experienced death before when he was younger with his mother. I sat down beside him.

"She reminds me of Shirin," I murmured.

"Well I haven't seen the Shirin that you talk of, but I'll take your word for it," he murmured.

"Why…why does she look sad?" I asked slightly hesitantly in case I offended Arshia but he didn't appear so.

"I am not sure, she always looked like that – she never told me if she was upset about anything so I assumed she never was," Arshia replied. I looked at him, I wanted to ask about how she died but that would be probing into his personal life so I decided not to, but it was almost as if Arshia could read my mind.

"We had conquered a small city, I had led the attacks against it and because of this they hated me and they all wanted revenge, Dara wanted to see the city, I told her it wasn't safe and it was just best to stay away…but she got her way and went, they knew she was my wife…and they killed her, for their revenge, they killed her," he explained slowly.

"You don't fight anymore I take it then?" I asked.

"No…violence does not get you anywhere, Farah," he muttered. I could tell the death, or murder to be precise, had hit him hard, it was why he always looked so drained and I guessed his unusual build was down to the fact he had stopped eating. I hadn't noticed the long silence as I had been thinking and I only became aware of it when Arshia pointed it out.

"I'm sorry if I have been boring you – are you looking forward to returning home?" he enquired.

"Yes…and no, I will see my family, and that makes me happy, but I will have to bury a close friend of mine and I cannot be happy about that can I?" I murmured. Arshia smiled and stood.

"I wouldn't worry too much Farah, life is too short as you know to do so," he said and walked off back into the camp. I looked up at the sky…it wouldn't be that long till I was home again…but things wouldn't be the way they use to be, no, too many things had happened for things to just be like they were…

The days passed much faster than I thought they would. As the days past, the Prince eventually got emotionally stronger, and then I began to wonder whether him seeing Shirin would be such a good idea, I had seen her a few times…the first time my knees buckled and I wanted to be sick, it wasn't so much the fact that what I saw was hideous, it was actually the opposite of that that made me fall to my knees. It was the fact that she looked so peaceful, as if she were asleep. If he saw Shirin maybe he would be right back at the beginning again. Then again, I had seen Shirin but my nightmares had not returned, the mixture the Magus made worked very well and I had to use it a lot until I eventually was confident enough to sleep without it. There was a lot of talk about how Shirin was to be buried and a lot of it annoyed both the Prince and I. Many said she should just be buried anywhere and her burial clothes should be made of a cheap cloth; they said these things because she wasn't royalty, to the people who said these things she was no one. We were less then a day away from Amber, and once again, people were grumbling about what arrangements were to be made. I was sat far from the settled camp, this way I wouldn't have to hear the things they said. The Prince eventually joined me.

"They're saying all those things about Shirin, again," he muttered.

"It is all that can be expected, in a way what they say is true," I murmured. He stared at me.

"Are you trying to justify what they say?" he asked.

"No, but they don't know her, and…she isn't royalty is she?" I murmured. I was sat on the ground staring at the sky, it was painted with a thick deep orangey colour; it was peaceful and tranquil.

"I still think she should be buried with the same amount as respect as if she was," the Prince murmured sitting down on the ground beside me. He looked a lot different from when I first met him, then again so did I; both of us had changed a lot whether it be mentally, physically or emotionally.

"Do you want to see her?" I asked him.

"Farah, why would I want to see the dead body of a friend?" he asked slightly harshly.

"She doesn't look like that, and…when you last saw her she was dying in your arms, this way you'll be seeing her in peace," I murmured. I expected another negative remark from the Prince, but none came, he just sat silently, and I could tell he was thinking.

He sat still for quite some time, even after the sun had finally set. His eyes were open, but I couldn't help but think that maybe he had fallen asleep and a part of me actually wanted to nudge him. I had gotten slightly bored of waiting, so I closed my eyes; he wasn't actually taking any notice of me so I didn't expect him to be offended.

"Farah?" I suddenly jumped. He was now standing. "Don't fall asleep," he muttered.

"I wasn't I was just resting my eyes, so…what were you thinking about?" I asked although I knew the answer, I thought it safe to just pretend I had forgotten my question.

"Shirin? Where is she?" he asked. I quickly got to my feet.

"Are you sure about this?" I asked him.

"Well would you like me to sit for another hour and think that over?" he asked. I quickly started moving.

We stood in front of the tent where Shirin's body was kept. They didn't keep candles or anything that would cause heat in there. I held a lamp in my hands, it had gotten dark very quickly and very few people were awake now, only the few guards that were on sentry duty. The Prince didn't say anything, and I could tell he didn't want to appear like he was purposely stalling so he almost immediately pulled the tent's flaps aside. I could see it in his eyes. The same thing I had thought when I had seen her. She didn't look dead at all, she looked asleep; she looked fine. She was wrapped loosely in some white cloth; she was wrapped from the shoulders down so you could not see her hands which had been obviously been very badly cut and scared, nor could you see the many cuts that were across her body. She was low down on the ground, I suppose that was because it was cooler near the ground. The Prince slowly stepped forward and then actually sat so he was right next to her. I suppose he was surprised at how she looked different from when he last saw her. Her face had been bloodied and her hair tangled, but I had washed her face and brushed her hair. It was hard to believe the fact she was dead, she just looked…alive. Like any minute she would sit up and probably ask us why we were staring. I joined the Prince where he was sitting.

"Are you scared?" I asked.

"Why should I be scared of her? She is dead," he replied. I thought about what he said, I felt like asking if he truly believed that, but as I looked at him I saw it was true. "I think they're right…maybe she doesn't need to be dressed in the most expensive clothes," he murmured.

"Why do you say that?" I asked curiously.

"Because why should you decorate something that is already beautiful. Shirin was and will always be beautiful, but that is natural, not something gained through material items," he explained. His words were true but Shirin still deserved to be dressed well.

"Yes, she is naturally beautiful – but she has the beauty of a princess, and that is how she will be buried," I said. He began to nod slowly.

"Yes you're right," he murmured. He then stood and left the tent, I followed him outside.

"Are you feeling okay?" I asked him, he looked slightly plain, as if he wasn't thinking anything, or if he was it wasn't clear what.

"Yes…I feel better. I know Shirin is gone…and I know she'll never come back, I have to face up to that, when we get to Amber, and when Shirin is buried we have to continue with our lives," he said. I understood and agreed with what he said. We wouldn't forget Shirin, if such a thing was possible, but neither would we allow the past to rule our lives, and with that final thought, we separated to return to our tents and got some sleep, tomorrow we would be arriving in Amber, arriving back in my home.