1Harry Pot-Head, the half blooded beaner

By Heather and Breanna

Disclamer- I don't own anything

and the chamber of Kronic

Chapter #1

The crack house of the dursleys…

Harry woke up to his cousin Dudley's feet stomping down the stairs over his den house (The noise sounded worse than an elephant stampead). His cousin was yelling for him to wake up.

" Wake up, wake up, we have to go to the zoo for my birthday." Yelled Dudley.

Harry was thinking to himself, " It sounds as though we have the damn zoo in the house, thinking of Dudley." Harry quickly got dressed, for if he didn't his uncle Vernon would whip out the belt.

When he got out to the kitchen, it was full of all Dudley's stupid little friends. Everyone was sitting at the table eating Dudley's birthday breakfast, but nobody bothered to give him a plate so he just sat down and stared at them shoving food into their faces.

" What the bloddy hell are you staring at boy?" shouted uncle Vernon.

"Your fat ugly face. Why do you even bother asking you old bat?" stated Harry angrily. Harry's aunt Petunia was staring at him with a look of disgust. She was too tarified of Harry to say anything.

12 years earlier, Harry's parents James and Lily Potter, dropped him off on the doorstep because they wanted a baby girl and all the got was a baby boy with an ugly scar on his face, shaped as a mini bong. They thought he was the most ugliest, foulest, disgusting thing they had ever seen. So they had no choice but to leave him on the doorstep of her uncle's, cousin's, sister's, great aunt Petunia. When harry's dad found out that Lily was cheating on him with a guy named Tom Riddle otherwise known as Lord Vodemort, he told her that they had to get rid of him because he might as well be Tom's baby. (He swore that was why harry was so ugly.) He didn't wanna say that his child was so ugly, that he couldn't bare to look at him so he made up that excuse. So now harry is doomed to live with his uncle's, cousin's, great aunt Potunia because no one would take him in, because he smelled like rotten cheese. Nobody ever thought to change his diaper.

" Harry! Harry get up, get up we are leaving." Screamed Dudley. Harry had fallen asleep on the table and was now drooling all over his uncle's, cousin's, great aunt's dinnermatts. Before they left harry quickly went to his den and grabbed some weed, a bong, and a lighter, so that later when he was at the zoo he could smoke it in the monkey cage. The monkeys realy liked his beaner weed for some reason.

When they arrived at the zoo, harry got bored and headed off towardes the monkey cages. The monkey's were very pleased to see him. He imeadeatly pulled out his bong and weed, and started to smoke it with the ugly creatures. Several times he almost got caught. He climbed up the tree that was in their cage so that people passing could not see what he was doing. As he was getting ready to light his bong he slipped and nearly fell out of the tree, but his bong went crashing down to the ground below. At the site of this, people started to gather around and stare. He quickly climed down to aide to his broken friend.

Harry was very sad the rest of the day while he was touring the zoo with Dudley and his friends. When they got to the Duck cages, these were Dudley's favorite animal at the zoo, Dudley leaned close to the glass to get a better look. When all of a sudden the glass that he was leaning on turned into suran wrap. He fell straight through the thin plastic. The ducks all surounded him and then they all turned their heads to harry and to harry's surprise, they started to talk to him. Many were thanking him and others were complaining saying that he needed to get Dudley's fat ass out of their cage. As the duck's were waddaling free they all gave him a final thank you and went on their way, they were free now.

As Dudley was trying to get up and out of the cage his face got caught on the suran wrap and he stared to choke to death. Harry would of helped him but he was high off of his ass, he couldn't even see straight anymore and he secretly thought to himself," You stupid little basterd, I hope that suran wrap kills you." Harry chuckled under his breath.

Harry had been bullied and picked on way to much and he was fed up with it, so he didn't bother running to get help either. He just sat there and watched Dudley's helpless body squirm around. Finaly his body just stoped moving altogether. He knew by Dudley's mangeled looking face that he was dead atlast. Harry liked the feeling of control he got from killing Dudley, he knew it wasn't right, but it felt so good.

Harry's uncle's, cousin's, sister's, great aunt Petunia and her husband Vernon were not shocked at all that Dudley was dead, they seemed relieved and some what happier than usual. So happy that they made Harry walk all the way home so that they could spend some "quality" time together. Harry's mind started to race on what they could possible want "quality" time for.

On his way home he ran into one of friends from school, Ronald. He was a fire croched, freckle faced, some what annoying 2nd year. It was also Harry's 2nd year at Hoe-Bags, School of weed and bongidry.

" Hey dawg whats crack-a-lackin?" asked Ronald when they stopped to talk. " My mom said that you can come over this summer and chill at our crib. But that's only if that Vernon thang will let you."

" Yo whats up? Vernon shouldn't be a problem anymore." Said harry with a satisfied smile on his face. "You should stop by my place later and then we can go chill at your place."

"But what about Ver- ?" started Ronald but then was interupted by Harry.

" Like I said, he wont be a problem anymore. I promise." He explained.

So Harry said his last goodbye's to Ron and left, thinking to himself, " Just think how great its gonna be once I get rid of uncle Vernon and aunt petunia."

When Harry arrived at his uncle's, cousin's, sister's, great aunt Petunia's house he couldn't see, or hear anyone. He looked in the family room, and there was no one there. So he searched through the kitchen, living room, and the laundry room, but there was no one to be seen.

So he went upstairs hoping to get some time alone, when he heard a noise coming from his uncle's room. So he quietly crept over to their door and poked his head in and saw the most revoulting thing ever in his life! His uncle's, cousin's, sister's, great aunt Petunia was in bed, on top of Lord Volemort( who was "supposedly" harry's father) with no clothes on what so ever. Then harry heard a noise from behing him, so he looked around to see that it was none other then his uncle Vernon.

Uncle Vernon looked into the bedroom and an expression of rage fell upon his face. He looked as though he could kill someone. Vernon ran into the room swinging the door open making as much noise as possible, causing aunt Petunia to jump and scream. Lord Voldemort jumped up and gathered his clothes. Then said some last words to aunt Petunia, " well this has been a wonderful evening, but I shall not trespass on your property anymore." And with those last words he Disappeared.

Uncle Vernon was so furious that he grabbed aunt Petunia by the neck and yelled, " who the bloody hell was that? And what was he doing in my house, with my wife?"

" He-was-um-um-um-" stutered aunt Petunia.

"He was who?" roared uncle Vernon.

"He was-" Petunia said, in tears now. "that little prats father!" she stated, pointing a long boney finger at Harry.

Uncle Vernon shot an akward glance twards Harry. "That bloody man was your father, He is as good as dead now. You wait and see"

"Your not laying a hand on my Father!"As Harry said this he got an weird feeling inside, James was his father, he thought that when people said that Lord Voldemort was his father that they were only joking about it.

Harry pushed that thought to the back of his head for the moment, right now he had to worry about the fact that his Uncle Vernon was now choking his aunt so that she couldn't breath. She was sruggling to get free but Vernon is a very strong man and over powered her.

Harry watched as petunia slowly died. Her face turned a purplish color before she hit the ground and harry stared.

Uncle Vernon slowly turned to Harry and said, "You, you little prat! Why was your loser of a father at my house? What did he want from my dear, sweet wife?" he rored now point a stubby finger at potunia.

" I dunno, but it doesn't look like he is getting anything out of her now, seens how she is DEAD!" yelled harry.

" You, I'm gonna kill you, don't say another word!" roared uncle Vernon.

He started acroos the room reaching for Harry and without thinking, he whipped out his wand and mumbled somethng under his breath and a light sprang from his wand and hit uncle Vernon in the chest. Vernon now layed in the middle of the floor whispering something about his mum. Harry, now realizing that he didn't kill him whipped out his Hot pink and black pocketknife and started to stab him in the chest, then the head and then the-place-that–shall-not-be-named.

Harry now extremely satisfied with himself, ran down to his den to pack his belongings, now thinking about his friend that fell from the tree at the zoo, he slowly closed his trunk and ran to the living room with his trunk dragging in one hand and his owl, Hedwig's cage in the other and sat down to await the arrival of his friend Ronald Weasley.

He didn't have to sit their more than 5min. when he heard the famililar knock of his freckle faced friend. "Knock-ity Knock-ity Knock Knock"

He dragged his stuff and raced out the door, he took one last glance at his uncle's bloody mangeled body lying on the floor and shut the door behind him. That was the last time he would ever have to set foot in that crack house again. Number 4, Private Drive looked even dark and gloomier than ever before.

Harry and Ronald started off on their journey to Roz's house. It is only about a five minute walk but Harry had to make a few stops on his way. After walking only a few blocks, Harry stopped and said " Stop" He held out his hand so that Ron couldn't pass, "This is the place where he wants to meet us at"

They walked into the rickedy old shack that was on the street corner. They made themselves comfotable on a couple of dusty, wrotten, old benches. A voice came from behide them "Your late" said the all too familiar voice " Did you follow my orders? Did everthing go as planned?"

"Well- well-" mumbed harry

"Well what?" shouted a very angry Draco Malfoy.

"Um, well their were some minor problems, Vernon cought Petunia in bed with-"

"Did I ask who she sleeps with? I think not, so I suggest that you cut the crap and tell me what the bloody hell happened" said Draco

"My uncle Vernon killed her! I ment to kill her put my uncle got in the way. Honest to god. I would have killed Lord Voldemort, but he disapparated." said Harry

"Okay, fair enough. Since you two are my most faithful Death Eater's, I shall spare your lives. In the future, you better obey me, because Im not going to be as forgiveing. Now is not the time to discuss this matter, we shall go to Ronald's house. You never know who could be listening in on us!"Draco said as he shot a nervous glance at the door.

They continued their walk to Ron's house in silence. They were almost there, when the silence was broken by Draco's voice again. "We shall make one more stop before our arrival."

He motioned for them to stop. They were standing out side of Hermione's house waiting to be welcomed in. Then as they stood there the doors swung open and Hermione was standing there wand in hand with a satisfied smile on her face.

" Did you do as I ordered? Are they dead?" said Draco in a hurried voice.

" Yes they are if you would like to see them before they leave? They are laying in their room on the bed." She stated.

" Yeah, lets see them, then I can speak with all of you." Said Draco quietly.

So the four of them walked into Hermione's house and sat on her couch as she went to the kitchen to get them drinks. A short while later, she arrived in the doorway to the living room holding four Bloody Mary's. She handed one to everyone and then took one for herself. They all sat their waiting for someone to take the first drink from this mistery drink she gave them. Draco was the brave one and took a small sip to find out that it tasted some what good.

"Its made from my mum and dad's blood, I had to drain their bodies, their was blood every were. I didn't know what I was going to do with the blood once it was all drained from their bodies and off of the floors, so I just stored it in my fridge untill you guy's arrived. I thought that you would enjoy it most Draco." She said as she gave Draco a smile.

"Yes, I do enjoy it very much. Thank you for being so considerate, my dear Hermione!" He gave her a very pleaing grin as he said this.

"Ok as for what I needed to talk to you about, (He looked around at three of them sitting there silently waiting for him to speak) we are going to have meetings this year in the room of requierments where I will give all of you a new task each time we meet. And you had better hope that all of you have that task finished by the next time we meet. But for now we are going to go to Ronald's house and finish off the rest of them." He stated. "well lets get going we want to get there before dark that makes it easier for us."

Draco was now thinking back to the night when he too killed his parents. He remembered it so clearly.

"Draco please come in the kitchen for a moment. We need to speak." Called his father impatiently. He was sitting in the kitchen at the dinner table reading the paper when Draco came in. only he was holding something in his hands behind his back. "Draco what do you have behind your back? Please let me see."

"No it's mine." He said with an attitude.

"Please Draco just hand it over and no harm done. You wont be in trouble either." He said calmly. And with those words he whipped out the knife that he had behind his back, and stabbed his father in the chest, the stomache and then in the place-that-shall-not-be-named. As harry had done to his uncle.

"Oh my god Draco what have you done? Have you gone mad?" screamed his mother. "You fuckin little prat get out of my damn house!"

"You stupid woman, this is my house now! You are to be resting in your grave soon! I only have 4 words for you mother, DIE YOU FRICKEN BITCH!" And with that all said and done, Draco grabbed the butcher knife that was in the drawer, that was much bigger than that of which he used on his father, he started stabbing his mother. Over and over and over again, untill her blood was all over the kitchen walls andfloor. He knew that he would never have to deal with his ungreatful parents ever again. They were finaly, as he had long wished, dead.

Just the thought of his parents disgusted him, they walked the remaining blocks in complete silence. When they finaly reached their destinating they had their eyes fixed apon the Burrow, Ron's house.