Lumina- Kind of quick updates because I love my reviewers! (Hugs)
Disclaimer- I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. If I did, Winry and Ed would have a serious relationship.
Warning- Another one of these... And this one's for self mutilation. Oooh, pretty sharp objects! Poor, poor Winry!
Chapter 5- Questions, and a Little 'Problem'
For hours into the night, Winry sat in the bathroom of the motel room she and Ed were staying in and sobbed, all the while Ed sat next to her and whispered reassurences of how everything would be okay. He cleaned her up, whiped her face off with a warm, damp washrag and kissed the cuts and bruises. And all the while, Winry simply could not understand how this was the same person who'd just raped her for the second time.
He seemed so nice once he'd calmed down. In fact, he seemed nice most of the time she was around him. What had she done wrong that night to cause him to freak out like that? Had it even been Ed? How could it not have? It looked exactly like him in every way. She was positive.
And so, out of both confusion and hurt, she sat and cried, and Ed hugged her tightly, not allowing her out of his sight. This couldn't have been some form of punishment, though it honestly felt that way. How could she feel comfortable sitting in the same room as him when she was constantly in fear he was about to hit her, then she would break down and he would hit her again, maybe kick her in the stomach some more. That hurt pretty bad.
But the thing that hurt the worst was what Ed had said to her before leaving her there to bleed and cry, drowing in sorrow from the words he'd lain upon her. He'd called her ugly, both on the inside and out. What could this mean? And what was going on in her brain when she thought about the situation? All of the mixed feelings had made it impossible to tell exactly what she thought much less believed was going on in her head. Half of her insisted the real Ed would never do something like this, and thus, it could not be the Edward Elric that she knew, could simply not be the person she had before proclaimed her childhood friend and years afterwards her boyfriend.
The other half told her that this was in fact Ed, and he hated her more than anything else in the world. Everything just collided together and caused a huge mess. What was she to do with half of her brain insisting she still loved him and the other half telling her to drop him? What was she about to do now?
Hours passed, and Ed finally had to leave the fretting girl alone, shutting the door behind him and listening to her heart wretching sobs echo in the bathroom.
---
It had been a while, taken a while for Winry to pick herself up off the bathroom floor where she'd fallen and understand that somehow, someway, she would have to will herself to go talk to Ed about the situation. That may have been the number one thing she didn't want to do, but it had to be done. She wasn't sure she could live with the guilt anymore. But where was the guilty feeling coming from? Wasn't that Ed's job, to feel guilty?
What the hell kind of things was her brain trying to come up with? It was split evenly as far as opinions on the alchemist went, and she had absolutely no idea as to what its alarming conclusion would possibly be, and whether she would follow its guide lines or not. Still, there was the matter that Edward was sitting in the same room as her, not trying to say anything, but trying to acknowledge her presense all the same. And Winry respected him for that.
All at once, it seemed that her brain came to a complete stop, just halted its process entirely, and threw a random thought at the girl.
When he'd been raping her, Edward had called her ugly, treated her like dirt, or maybe that had been because she was face down in the dirt at the time... But, maybe this misjudgement was all her fault. Maybe she made bad decisions, and maybe she threw herself out there, and gave the impression she was easy and would tolerate random guys holding her down and violating her.
And maybe, just maybe, she didn't deserve to live. How many people actually appreciated having a trashy little slut sitting next to them? How many guys could honestly go that long sitting by her without doing something she didn't like? So that's what she was... A trashy little slut giving off the impression she wanted it so bad she would take it from anyone without any second thoughts whatsoever.
Well, if that was the case, how could Ed honestly expect she'd want to be in this world any longer than she possibly had to?
Then the idea finally struck her, the idea of suicide. Surely it had been there all along, unwilling to show itself, reer its ugly head and give the blond as many ways and reasons it possibly could to kill herself. Another idea suddenly filled Winry's head. "Say Ed, do you happen to have a pair of scissors with you?" Ed looked at the girl, suprised. These were the first words she'd said to him since he'd brought her back to the motel.
"Yeah, why?" Her mind imediately came up with a reason. And it was pretty convincing, especially to Ed.
"I'm just going to trim my hair a little is all. Is that okay? Ed nodded and handed her a pair of sharp, shiny looking scissors. Very sharp, come to think of it, and Winry's mind somehow began to overflow with joy.
"You know whatever you do with your hair makes you look absolutely gorgeous." Winry smiled, despite her feelings on what she was about to do. Carefully, she made her way to the bathroom, stepped in, and shut the door behind her. She would have to do this quick, as she didn't want Ed to suspect anything. Maybe it was all too obvious, but she was apparently too caught up in her current thought to care much.
So it was with a little fear that Winry brought the sharp end of the scissors to her wrist, and very slowly, cut across the vein. So maybe she wasn't ready to die yet, but she needed to get some relief from somewhere, and this was it.
Suddenly, Winry felt much better. Could it possibly have been that her conscience was correct in thinking she needed to hurt herself to feel better? Was any of what was going on really her fault to begin with anyway? Well, whatever. She felt like a lot of weight had been lifted off of her now, and, carefully, she grabbed one of the rags the motel had provided, and cleaned herself up. The cut wasn't the deepest in the world, and didn't bleed quite as much as she'd imagined it would.
The scissors would need to be returned to Edward, so she cleaned them up with the same rag, and dried them off. Then she snipped her hair a slight bit shorter than it had been, just not by much, and making sure she had a black sweater on to cover her wrist, she walked out of the bathroom as though nothing had ever happened.
When she handed the object back to Ed, he simply smiled at her and placed them on the table next to them. "I like your hair this way too," He cooed, eyes half closed and apparently trying to draw the blond girl to him. And suprisingly, it was working. Something had taken place, some change of mind that Winry couldn't explain should she ever have to, and now she was feeling pretty lustful. A weird feeling after being raped in the same night.
She practically fell forward onto Ed's lap, and it was right there that she sat, glued to the spot and began to make out with the blond.
All other thoughts, worries, everything was forgotten as they really began to get into what they were doing, so into it that Ed had to pick the girl up and drag her over to the bed to make the position a little less awkward, and allow the two a bit more room to move around. Winry couldn't have cared less. She was far too concerned with fufilling that lust that had suddenly made its way inside of her, and Ed would most likely be her best help.
The night went on as such, and Winry did something she never would have thought possible with him, especially after being raped.
---
It was the next morning that Winry realised what a large mistake she'd made the previous night, probably two times in a row, not that the first one was very preventable. She was paying for the mistake when she stumbled over to the bathroom. Her stomach felt horrible. It couldn't have been something she'd eaten, right? Whether or not that was it, her stomach convulsed, and she threw up.
She was lucky it was still so early, and Ed wasn't awake yet. Winry didn't want him to think she was sick, or he'd take her to the hospitol, cart her around until the problem was solved, because he was just that obsessed.
Maybe a trip to the doctor would have solved everything, but Winry, with a bit of common sense involved, was able to figure out the problem before a doctor was even required. And the idea made a few tears drop from her eyes, because she knew, just knew that this was the only reason she'd be throwing up like this. And oh God, did she think Ed would kill her.
Poor Winry was pregnant.
Lumina- Poor Winry! This story is escalating... Wow we have a lot of chapters to go, so you can all be happy, because it's going to be long! Okay, reviews please!