A:N: ^_^ Well, back to the drawing board! Or writing board, as it were. And, before I forget, Happy Holidays, minna-san! ^_~ Hope everyone had fun. I did—I got an Aragorn doll! (Y'know, those really weird looking ones that you can get at Target.) And I got the boxed set of Lord of the Rings! I lent two of the last ones to my friend who has yet to return them (after two frickin' years—I'm not waiting anymore) and the gods know what happened to my copy of The Two Towers. But it's all muffins, right? ^___^;;; And an update—the PPC is not appearing in this chapter. But perhaps later on. Read on, o faithful reader-onners! @_@ Ja ne!

Disclaimer: Haven't we done this before? No? Oh, okay then. I don't own Lord of the Rings or any characters that you recognize from any previously published books. I am a highschool girl living off of Chinese takeout and Ramen noodles because my mom is tired of having to cook every day. -__-;; All I own is Lee. And the MSC, as much as I deny it. Never! I don't own it! It belongs to uh the voices in my head! Aw crap that doesn't work.

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Chapter 4

The Reappearance of Gimli, son of Gloin

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Legolas beamed at Lee, who looked utterly disgusted. "Pleez Li" he said, "I wanna haf u in bed wit mee" Lee could distinctly hear the misspellings and was concentrating so hard on that alone that she nearly didn't notice what he had actually said.

"Wha—wha—nani?!" she spluttered, shoving him away. "Curse the Mary-Sueness of it all!"

Legolas looked sad. "O Li y wont u sleeep wit mee?"

"Argh!" Lee clutched her ears as if they were about to hop off and run away, screaming. "Stoppit! TI POTS! TI POTS!"*

"What do tea pots have to do with anything, milady Lee?" came a voice distinctly unlike Legolas' or hers. Lee blinked slowly, and the nightmare vanished as Frodo's face came into focus over hers. "You were crying, tea pots! Teapots!' over and over. Are you in distress?"

"No," snapped Lee, who was slightly groggy after being awoken so suddenly. "The only thing that I'm distressed about is that you knocked me out so that I could come on this quest." She narrowed her eyes. "And I thought you were men of honor."

Legolas huffed. "I am certainly no Man," he said snippily. "I am Elfen, and you will do well to remember it!"

Lee winced at the obvious misspelling. "ElVen!" she hissed. "You moronic Elf! What the hell is your problem? You just jump down my throat for every step I take!"

"I would rather—" Boromir began, but stopped when Lee shot him an evil death-glare. Ever since they had headed out—in the morning, which still bothered Lee—and Lee had been conscious, Boromir had made some very lewd remarks and hadn't so much as looked at the Ring. So Lee had been forced to doze off a bit. That was when she had awoken to find that Boromir had slung her over his shoulder and Frodo was asking her about teapots. Which she still didn't understand.

"Frodo, why in the name of Eru were you asking me about teapots?" Lee asked quizzically.

"Well, milady Lee, you were shouting something about teapots in your sleep, and it was quite distressing," Frodo replied, and Lee rolled her eyes at the thought of how teapots could be distressing. Suddenly, she realized what had happened in her dream.

"Oh! Not teapots, Frodo, TI POTS. T-I P-O-T-S. Backwards, it spells, STOP IT'. I learned it from a friend of mine." She pounded on Boromir's back for him to let her down, as she was perfectly fine on her own two legs. He ignored her and instead clutched her tighter. Lee growled. "I was just having a bad dream, that's all."

Frodo's frown deepened. "An ominous dream, milady Lee?"

Lee groaned inwardly at a Hobbit talking like a Man. "No. Just a rather horrendous dream about a certain Elf." She sent an evil death-glare at Legolas' back. "Nothing ominous about it." At least she hoped not. To imply that it was ominous meant that it meant something, and Lee sincerely hoped that it didn't. She hastily changed the subject. "So, uh, Frodo has Boromir made any strange advances on the Ring yet?"

Frodo looked surprised. "Why no, milady Lee. Should he? Borimor is my friend, he'd never try and take the Ring." Lee winced again at the "word" "Borimor". Being one of few bookverse-Boromir fangirls, she took personal offense at it.

"Boromir!" she whispered, keeping the offense in her voice to a minimum. Frodo hadn't done anything to incur her wrath. Legolas was just being a moron, so he deserved it, she concluded. What kind of stuck-up brat does he think he is?

As if in answer to her question, Legolas said over his shoulder, "Many women fall down at my feet. I am the most beautiful of all the Elves in the land. So why is this particular wench impervious to me? Oh, I see. She is not beautiful; therefore she cannot understand the concept of beauty."

Lee blinked. "That made no sense, baka-a-a-a-a!" she yelled. "I can understand the concept of beauty just fine; but you're acting like a jerk, so I owe you no loyalty! Why should I be nice to someone who is such a condescending snot?!"

Silence ensued, as Lee breathed heavily, seething with anger

Suddenly, Lee heard a gruff laugh from beside Boromir. Stopping and opening her eyes wide, she looked around. She couldn't see anyone, yet she could still hear that laugh. In the middle of a chuckle, that same gruff voice said, "It's about time someone put that Elf in his proper place. He truly is a condescending snot', as you say, Lee."

Lee glanced around, eyes wide. Nobody else seemed to have heard the voice—Aragorn was twitching nervously; but then again, he was always doing that lately. Lee still hadn't figured out why, either. She slowly looked at Boromir. Normally, had Boromir been in-character, she would have definitely enjoyed this. But, seeing as he was OOC enough to make her cry, Lee despised the ride and being taken advantage of like this. She tapped him on the shoulder. "Uh, Boromir? Can I walk? I promise not to run away or anything."

He laughed. "Of course, Lee. As long as you do not try and escape and take more time by forcing us to look for you." Lee blinked. He actually sounded rather in-character just then. He set her down, and Lee immediately blinked again a couple of times.

Walking alongside Boromir was Gimli.

Why hadn't she seen him before? It was kind of hard to miss that giant axe. She stared until the Dwarf looked uneasy. "What? Is there something in my beard?"

She hid a grin. "Maa, how is it that only I can see you?"

Gimli shrugged and replied, " Tis the ways of those evil women that drop from the sky. I am made invisible to everyone, and so I am accustomed to making the comments that I please." He snorted. "But how you can see me, I know not. Though you do not seem to be one of them"

Lee nearly collapsed with relief. "Oh thank Eru! You're the only member of the Fellowship that's still in-character!" Though the shrug was rather modern—but Lee didn't expect perfection at this point. All she needed was someone in-character to talk to.

"Well, Boromir does have his moments," Gimli added. "But they are few and far between. And he is usually encouraged back into this out of character' that I hear you speak of." He shifted his axe to his other shoulder. "But are you truly a woman of Gondor, or are you from the sky as well?" He eyed her suspiciously.

Lee gulped. She didn't want to die but she couldn't lie to save her life. Her mom had built it into her to be honest. Of course, that just encouraged her to be blunt and outspoken though apparently that wasn't the "in-thing" at her school. Thinking about her mom made Lee realize how much she wanted to go home. How much she wanted her cozy bed with the weather-worn quilt her grandmother made for her seventh birthday She gulped back tears—nobody ever wanted to see Lee cry—and replied candidly, "I think I am one of the girls who fell from the sky', but I don't want to be here. I just want to go home and read about all of this." She risked a swipe at her eyes to make sure she wasn't starting to cry, although the tickling feeling in her nose wasn't reassuring her in the slightest. "I don't want to mess up Middle-earth anymore than it already has been. I want to see my mom, and my sister, and my dad" Lee sniffed back tears and angrily cursed her tear ducts.

Gimli looked at her with—what? Pity? Sorrow? Compassion? Or did he just think she was being a complete twit? He finally said, "Lee, do not be afraid to cry. Twill not do you any good if you merely hold it inside."

"No," Lee hiccuped. "You don't want to hear me cry."

Gimli smiled at her. "Try me."

And so Lee burst into sobs.

Now, you must understand that when Lee cries, it's not so much "crying" as it is "bawling with loud wails and an outpour of tears". Her crying outbreaks are very rare—very little can actually make her cry, since she has a sardonic outlook on life. After all, the girl has been a real outcast all of her life, thanks to her glasses and all-around nerdy look. When she does cry, she lets it all out.

You have to feel sorry for anyone in a 50-mile radius.

Gimli winced as Lee's wailing sobs reached a crescendo. "Lee, everything will turn out for the best!" he yelled loudly to be heard over her cries. "Just have faith!"

The rest of the Fellowship turned to look at her. "Why, milady Lee, whatever is the matter?" Frodo inquired, his voice getting lost in the din.

"I want to go ho-o-o-o-o-me!" Lee sobbed loudly. "I don't want to be he-e-e-e-e-e-e-re!" She scrunched up her eyes in a desperate attempt to save what little dignity she had left.

No dice.

Legolas stared at Gimli, who was patting her on the back. "Master Dwarf?" he muttered dazedly, passing a hand over his eyes. "What is it that I see?"

Gimli stood up. "Master Elf!" he replied joyously. " Tis good to see you come back to your senses!"

Legolas blinked. " Tis a strange feeling, this as if I have been asleep for many days" Something snapped, and Legolas stood straight. "What is this filthy Dwarf doing here?" he demanded imperiously. "I want it away!"

Lee sprang up, tears gone, glaring at the Elf as she rose. "Yarou!" she snarled. "Yarou no baka!** You really hurt his feelings just then!" She gestured to Gimli, who had a shocked expression of hurt on his face.

"No, Lee," the Dwarf murmured, "do not worry. I should be should be used to it after so long." He slung his axe over his shoulder and trudged forwards. Lee watched him walk away with sadness in her eyes. Now that her crying fit was over, she could clearly see just how hurt he was. Legolas was his best friend, with whom he had traversed much. If all had gone like it was supposed to, they would have sailed the Sea together. They had joked together, laughed together, and—for the gods' sakes—hewn orcs' necks together! They should have been best friends for life! Lee clenched her fists. Mary Sue brought this, she thought, seething with anger. But if I have to stay in Middle-earth, I'll damn well try and fix it!

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(*-My friend actually screams "TI POTS!" when something disturbs her. That's how I learned it. .:rolls her eyes:. Crazy wench.)

(**-"Yarou" means "bastard". Therefore "yarou no baka" translates to "stupid bastard". "Bakayarou" is actually not "stupid bastard", as I thought at first, but instead is a severe form of "idiot". Just so everyone had that straight, because I tend to forget to leave a translation for all the Japanese I use. WARNING: Most of the Japanese words Lee uses are curse words.)