Hehe. I'm back! With a Parody this time! I just had this stuck in my head for the longest time and had to get it out! Naruto….Cinderella style! With romance, humor…and all that other crap.
A Naruto fairy tale: Cinderella style!
Once upon a time, in a place…I guess a different kind of Konoha since the author finds that good enough and is too lazy to make up another one, lived a girl with short pink hair. Anyway, pressing on, this young girl now at the age of nineteen was orphaned at the age of nine, her Mother dying at a young age and her Father, though tender and caring he was, felt that a mother's presence was necessary for the good upbringing of what was to become a young lady of class and elegance. As you can see, the man was delusional. Kind, yet delusional.
It so happened that later on in the future her Father had met a beautiful, (though usually drunk) women of high-class named Tsunade. The two married almost instantly, making up the five person family, consisting of Sakura, her un-named father, his new wife Tsunade, and her two daughters, Ino and Hinata. One big happy family, almost as if the whole damned thing was planned out that way.
All seemed well in the household, if not a little odd, of course this had nothing to due with the occasional missing bottles of Sake disappearing and the family's money some how disappearing from the bank. That a side, everything was going well for the 'happy' family. Their happiness however came to a halt one day when Sakura's father, the un-named one, was found missing after a hunting trip, how the fact that numerous kunai's were found at the scene involves him hunting…we shall never know.
The newcomers to the family could hardly mourn, since they barely knew the guy. But Sakura cried rivers. The days carried on, slowly and dully, until Tsunade's real nature began show, which consisted of her drinking and uncontrollable gambling. Slowly the three started turning Sakura into their slave, and since she was only at the young age of nine could not fight them off.
And so my hopefully soon to review readers, unfolds our story, in the basement of a dojo/house where Sakura sits on an old futon and pleasantly plots revenge. How can Sakura go against the laws of virtue, wholesome disneyness and plot revenge? Do the laws of physics apply in this story? All shall reveal itself in due course.
Sakura woke up rubbing her eyes tiredly. She had barely gotten any sleep last night, trying to plot plans and murders against those three. Which was impossible since she would have to kill all three of those assholes, which leaves her the only one to pin the crime on. Damn, she just couldn't catch a break.
'Wow' she thought. 'I'm really turning into one cold-hearted bitch.'
'With good reason too damnit! Ten years stuck in this hell hole, of course we deserve revenge!' cried her inner self
And for once Sakura actually agreed with her inner self.
Suddenly a scream yelled through the Dojo/house…thingy. Damn those intercoms, they were working brilliantly as usual.
"SAAAKUURAA! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE AND MAKE ME MY BREAKFAST! AND WHERE ARE MY FEATHERS? I NEED MY FEATHERS!"
"Now dear a well behaved woman does not shout, but if you must DON'T BLOODY SHOUT IT IN MY EAR!" Tsunade yelled then calmed herself down, acting as if nothing happened. Hinata sat quietly across the table…not speaking…like usual. The girl hardly spoke at all, she was I guess you could say the nice one out of the bunch. She frequently thought, unknown by the others, about how the hell she had possibly ended up in this messed up family.
"Now Sakura why isn't my breakfast made yet!" Tsunade asked angrily. While Sakura murmured incoherent words under her breath while finally taking a long deep breath to calm herself and finally answered the woman that she was making it.
"S-she s-seems tired from b-being up so l-late." Hinata murmured shyly from across the table. Tsunade and Ino stopped bickering and turned their attention to Hinata.
"It speaks…" Ino whispered. "Now Ino what have I told you about putting your sister down? Now what did you say dear?" Tsunade asked again.
"…" Hinata sighed silently, damn people never listened anyway.
"I'd take your money back Mom." Ino said dryly, her sister almost never talked, not that she gave a rats-ass about it.
As if it was destiny…or just normal, the doorbell rung. "WHERE'S MY SAKE? AND SAKURA GET THAT DAMN DOOR! MOVE PEOPLE!"
Sakura came back upstairs from where she had gone down in basement grumbling, cursing and looking very miserable indeed. Her hair was wild and tangled and she was covered with feathers of every color. She had been looking for Ino's feathers obviously.
As she made her way to the front door, she shouted well enough to be heard: "Damn the feathers, damn Ino, damn Hinata even though she hasn't done anything yet and damn you! AND DAMN WHOEVER YOU ARE AT THE DOOR! Miserable $&… (Muttering incoherent obscenities)."
She grabbed the door handle and jerked it open; if you looked closely you could almost see fire in her eyes. The fire not leaving her eyes she glared angrily at the delivery man, who seemed to have unusually thick eyes brows and freaky looking eyes, almost making Sakura want to gag. "Ah such a beautiful youthful flower! No matter how feathery she may look!" The messenger said eyeing the pink haired crazed girl with heart shaped eyes, freaking her out even more. "What the hell do you want?" She said angrily. The delivery man simply looked into her eyes, shuddered, and then handed her the envelope, then broke out into a run fearing for his life.
"Ah such beautiful fire in her youthful eyes! No matter how scary they are!" He said to himself dreamily running off to who knows where.
Sakura snorted and closed the door; it did feel good to scare some people at least. She didn't know what it was or actually care when someone came up from behind her and snatch the letter away.
"Oh Mother it's a letter from King Kakashi!" Ino squealed in delight…almost as if she were a pig…hm…
"Well what does it say? Open it!" Tsunade urged her pig crazed daughter.
"There's going to be a ball tonight in the Prince's honor!" Ino squealed again.
"Which prince?" Tsunade asked urgently. There were two princes' that belonged to the kingdom.
"Oh what does it matter Mother?"
"It matters greatly." She whispered. Causing Sakura to slowly inch away from her.
"I have foreseen this. The ball is simply a device in which the king is hoping to arrange a marriage for one of his sons. He is inviting all the eligible maidens in the kingdom with the hope that his son will find a suitable match so that the necessary heirs will be produced. I have been unable to determine which son will be the potential groom however I have heard whispers that Prince Itachi is not participating in the wedding of the two, thus leading to the conclusion that the Prince in question is Prince Sasuke."
"Wow." Sakura said simply, she didn't think she had ever heard Hinata speak that much at once before. "She's good."
Little did everyone know, Hinata just looked through the other letter that was unseen by the rest still inside the envelope and used her Byakugan to see through it. Sneaky indeed.
"Shut up you twerp." Tsunade snapped at Sakura then turned her attention to Hinata. "Hinata dear, if you had foreseen this why hadn't you told us sooner?"
"…" Damn, she hadn't thought this through.
A vein popped on Tsunade's head, but just decided to go on. "Nevermind. What does the rest of the letter say Ino?"
Ino visibly snapped out of a reverie that had contained some passing thoughts about just what it would be like to bump Hinata off for good. Ino was sure that her sister was the source of her family's sketchiness. Yes, that's right. The voices have spoken. Hinata's the problem.
"Oh yes, the letter. Well it basically says what Hinata just said, that there will be a ball held for Prince Sasuke since he has been gone for so long. And that every maiden is ordered to attend the ball. And that it will be being held tonigh—wait that impossible it can't be being held---OH DEAR GOD IT IS! I HAVE ONLY FIVE HOURS TO GET READY! SAKURA GET MY FINEST KIMONO READY!"
Sakura cringed. Sewing. Preparing meant mending and sewing and other such ailments for her poor finger since she couldn't sew to save her life. "Prepare it your damn self! Hold on…did you just say that every maiden is ordered to attend?"
"Why you little---"
"Sakura do as your sister says before I chain you to a tree for some animal's next meal." Tsunade commanded.
"But—"
"SILENCE! You finish your chores then we can discuss about you coming to the ball with us…well not with us, you can linger off in a dark alley or something. Off you go!"
"Bitch….$&#..." Sakura muttered as she sulked off to 'accidentally' burn Ino's kimono, or at least 'accidentally' sew some toilet paper onto it. Despite her anger, though, she was hurt. She wanted to go to the ball too. "I have rights, damnt! It's in the bloody letter and I could take you to court for this! But who'd listen..." She sighed. The least she could do, as she decided, was make it seem like she had done some chores so that maybe the old bat would consider letting her go. She'd just go and…lay around or something…then clean a little.
Meanwhile Tsunade was having some heart to heart time with her daughters.
"YOU WILL NOT FAIL ME YOU LITTLE INGRATES! THIS IS AN OPPURTUNITY OF A LIFETIME! If you succeed---"
"Mother could you please hurry this up I have to get ready." Ino said impatiently.
Tsunade really needed a drink right now…or maybe just some good old fashioned gambling…either one would do.
"Hinata if you can pull off winning I will get you…" Tsunade thought for a moment…what hell did Hinata like? "Anything you want!" She continued.
Hinata lightened up a little after hearing this. Yes! She could finally get out of this so called family!
"And Ino, if you can pull it off…Mother will be very pleased with you."
-Silence-
"That's all I get? A mother's going to be pleased?" Ino said angrily
"You'll be princess you dumbass."
"Oh yeah, I forgot about that! Ha ha! Sasuke-kun will be mine! EEEEE!" She ran to her room….once again squealing as a pig.
Tsunade rubbed her temple. 'Screw the ball, where's my damn drink?'
And thus begins the adventure of Sakurella…hm…that name sounds stupid. Next chapter has some Sasuke action in it!