Chapter Three: In Which Bob Gets Hungry And Eats Chihuahua Stew

The whole Shire was talking about the new Hobbit that had come. On seeing Bob the Hobbit, many of them gasped. After all, there weren't many six feet tall Hobbits with fangs going around.

"I am Bob the Hobbit," Bob said.

"Er... yeah...," Sam said. "Um... nice to meet you."

"I like cheese," Bob said. "Do you like cheese?"

"Uh, sure," Sam said. "Um, I think I hear my wife calling me."

With that, Sam dashed off. What was happening to the Shire? Ever since Mr. Frodo had left, strange people were coming. Not to mention the fact that all of the Orcs had disappeared and there were a lot of mysterious elves with fangs and tall dwarves. And now there was Bob the Hobbit?

It was just freaky.

Bob walked around, whistling. Faithful Ralph followed close behind.

"Arf," Ralph said.

As Bob reached his new home, he stepped inside, bonking his head on the low ceiling.

"Ouch."

Once inside, Bob looked around for something to eat. There was nothing. Not even a piece of cheese! Not even a potato! Not even a taco! What could Bob eat?

"Arf," Ralph said.

That night, Bob had Chihuahua stew for supper.

The next day, Bob invited his new neighbors over for lunch.

"What is this? It's so good!" Merry said, rubbing his little tummy.

"It's CLT sandwiches," Bob said. "Chihuahua, Lettuce, and Tomato."

Merry spat out his sandwich. "Yuck! That's disgusting!"

"Mmm... Chihuahua yummy!" Pippin said, drooling.

"Here! Have some more!" Bob said, pushing more CLT sandwhiches towards Pippin.

Pippin swallowed all of the sandwiches in one gulp, tray and all. "BUUUUUURRRRRP!

But, Bob was still hungry. He had already eaten Ralph and he had no other food in the house. What could he eat?

"Look at that!" Bob said, pointing.

"What?" all of the Hobbits asked, turning around and looking in the direction Bob was pointing at.

In one second, Bob had picked up Merry and eaten him whole. "Yum!"

Confused, all of the Hobbits turned back to Bob and shrugged.

"Hey, where'd Merry go?" Sam asked.

"Uh, must've stepped out," Bob said, a small shoe hanging out of his mouth by it's strings.

"Help me!" a small voice said from Bob's stomach.

"Shush!" Bob said to his tummy.

"I'm still hungry!" Pippin said.

"Look at that!" Bob said.

All of the Hobbits turned, just missing Bob shoving Sam in his mouth. "Mmm... the fat one was extra juicy!"

The Hobbits were starting to get suspicious.

"Where'd Sam go?" some background-character Hobbit said, followed by him breaking out into the song "We Represent the Lollipop Guild."

"Um, I think he went home," Bob said, following it with a huge burp.

"I'm hungry!" Pippin whined.

Pippin was starting to annoy Bob, so he ate him.

All of the Hobbits scream. "Bob ate Pippin! Bob ate Pippin!"

"Cool! I just got eaten!" Pippin exclaimed.

All of the Hobbits fled in terror.

Unfortunately for Bob, Pippin was too stupid to die, so he crawled back out of Bob's mouth.

"Cool! I got stomach acid on me!" Pippin said, cheerfully.

Bob was angry. How dare his lunch crawl back out of his mouth!

Bob chased Pippin (who was wearing a disco suit that resembled something Elvis would wear) out of the house.

"Mwahaha!" Pippin said. "You'll never eat me alive!"

Bob chased the short Elvis impersonator, vowing revenge.