Author's Note: CHA, BITCH. Man, two updates in that many days. Do I win a prize? So, this isn't really a new chapter but I thought it was funny. If you lot get pissed because you wanted a real update, then I advise you to reread the last chapter, because that was my real update for the month.

Ish!Chapter 27: Recap… like how Lost did. Only better. We are Wallyworld, after all. We are always cooler.

Disclaimer: Ownage? Nooooope.

Hmm… I have to say, I am a Little confused at this point in the story. I mean, I know they all went to Wal-Mart and stuff and stuff happened and they were like, "Cool! Stuff!" But who are "they"? Do we really know who "they" are? Do we really know what has happened to "they"? I don't think we do.

…I guess it should be what happened to "them", shouldn't it? Ah, well, I like "they" better.

"Before we continue," said Fred. "I think we should recap."

"Recap?" asked Ginny.

"Yeah, like how Lost does. They do like and hour over what has happened in the season. I think we should do that."

"Tell what has happened since I got into Hogwarts?" asked Harry.

Fred laughed. "Of course not, silly. You really aren't that important anyway. I say we recap everything that has happened since we entered this magic place."

George nodded. "That will be the only way to set up for the discovery of Ron. Is he dead or not? Dun, dun, dun."

"Oh, brilliant plan, blokes," said Ginny.

Everyone (but who is everyone?) agreed with Ginny. Everyone that is, except for… HERMIONE GRANGER! "Uh, bitches, I don't know about this."

"Why not, bitch?" said Ginny.

"Cause… it'd be dull, wouldn't it?"

"Uh… no," said everyone. Ever. But who all is everyone? Cue music.

"Damn music," said Fred. "Look here, you bitch of doubt. I know what is right. And we can do whatever the hell we want and it'll be funny, kay? Kay." He then did the Krum Fist.

"Once upon a time," started storyteller George. "There were six individuals. These six people were just trying to make it in the wizard world. First there was Harry Potter. You've all heard the legend, this is the man, and he was a Little whiny… but still awesome. Next was Ron Weasley, you know him as the sidekick, and that was indeed what he was. Ron could get a Little crazy… but awesome. The third member of the Dream Team is the lovely Hermione Granger. She is just as annoying in real life… but still awesome. Ginny Weasley is next, she was silent and giggling for four years then suddenly she kicked major ass. She can be a Little Ginny… but still awesome. Last but definitely not least is Fred Weasley. He leads us in times of crisis, he can be a Little ruling… but still awesome."

"George," said Harry.

"Yep?"

"Forgetting anyone, mate?"

George counted on his fingers. "Oh, right! Me!"

"Bravo," said Hermione.

"STFU," said George. "Now, as I was saying, six people. Six different lives. Six different paths. One day they all met in a magical place called Wal-Mart."

Insert ripple screen here.

"Umm, so…" said George.

"SEE!" said Hermione. "You are already getting bored of recapping this stupid tale! You put in a fucking ripple screen and this isn't even a sitcom of the 80s or 90s. That proves it!"

Fred/George gave her the pirate eye. "I saw Goody Granger with the devil!" they yelled.

"Fuck you, man," she responded.

"When they got to Wal-Mart," said Ginny, clearly ready to move on with the tale. "A Wal-Mart greeter yelled at them and Ron went to meet Ted Danson."

Everyone clapped.

Harry picked up the story next, "Then Sam Wise Gamgee showed up and a battle went down. Sam's ass got kicked."

Everyone clapped.

"Dancing!" yelled Fred. "Next there was dancing… and John Gillnitz… and bad Disney television shows."

Everyone clapped.

"The classic montage episode came next. The people in the audience rocked out to 182 of Blink as Draco became a hooker and The Six were in a cheesy music video," said George.

Everyone clapped.

Then they all looked at Hermione. It was her turn next. "Fine." She sighed. "Then Avril showed up and Ron whined about how he hated being British," she said in a monotone voice.

"For the next few explanations of the lives of a few youngins we will just yell out one word to cover an entire chapter. Your minds will explode with the aroma," said George, talking slowly and dramatically as if he was a wine label.

"Olsen! Feeny! Random! Fat! Spiderman! Drummer! Asthma! Lamp! HBP!" said Harry in quick succession.

"Thank you, Greens," said Ginny. "This brings us to the Legend of the Half Chap." Cue dramatic pause. "Maybe you remember the half chaps. Maybe you were there the first time those three fateful chapters were posted. But they will always live on, they are the Legend of the Half Chap." Cue dramatic pause. "There was the promise of life changing news, a not author's note, and salt."

"The Legend of the Half Chap promised life changing news," said Fred.

"And there was life changing news. Oh, there was life changing news!" yelled Harry. Hokay, babe, we all know there wasn't really life changing news.

"Right," said Fred. "There was "life changing" news." Fred used the air quotes. "That news told us nothing cool then Ron was Avada Kedavra-ed by a Little boy. Cause he is a deatheater. Yep, he eats the death. Oh, yeah, and that was when we were introduced to the magic of Disclaimer Man."

"I snogged him," said Ginny.

Harry shook his head. "No, you didn't."

"Yeah, I did."

"No! You didn't."

"I think I know who I've snogged!"

"Nuh uhh. I know who you've snogged," said Harry.

Ginny slapped him. "Snog that, ass!" she yelled.

"Why didn't she say arse?" asked Hermione. "She is British."

"No, she isn't," said Fred. Before Hermione could argue Fred continued with the recap, "Aladdin visited us next. Inappropriate yellings of certain inappropriate words came with him, along with Hillary Duff that said she wasn't Hillary Duff."

Hermione started singing, "ROOOON. I LOOOOOOOORVE YOU! I would buy illegal drugs for you! I would bake a sorting hat cake for you! I would drink Windex for you! I would kill a pretty ant for you! I would buy a bracelet for you! I would eat paper towels for you! I would watch Everybody Loves Raymond for you! I would inject Harry with cancer for yoooooooooooouuuuuuuuuu!"

"Yes," said Ginny. "Then Hermione sang, joined the opera, and broke Ron's heart. So the rest of decided to create an eleventh season of Friends, Accio-ed the cast, filmed that mother, and put it on DVD. Then Hermione came back."

"Yaaaaay," said all the kitties in the house.

"Then I became a fairy," said Fred. "And Harry defeated VoldieDragon."

"Ron though about how cool he was and couldn't sleep, Harry told about throwing up on a school bus, Weasleys liked pie on some days, and Harry went crazy and thought he was Fox," said George.

"Next was the chapter that could change all of our lives!" said a very dramatic Harry.

Hermione cried. "It all started on a fateful day when we got bored and couldn't buy a trampoline," said Hermione in between sniffles. "We watched this movie not about drinking and Ron thought it was our lives! Damn no alcohol! Then he killed himself."

"OR DID HE?" yelled Fred.

"Well," said Hermione. "Find out next chappie."

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Annie Note: Yummy. Reviews. They are tasty. By the way, I love you all! You all reviewed so much! Sure, mostly it was that DK person that never really said anything, but still. Heart-Reside-y-person: You are my favorite. Ever. I will indeed continue the story. Fifty chapters, at least, I'm thinking. So that is what I am shooting for. Fifty chapters. Man. Also, I would LOVE to reach 100 reviews. Please?