Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
Hazardous Sanity Chapter Seven: The Wake
I never could have seen this far,
I never could have seen this coming,
It's like my world's falling apart,
Why is everything so hard? -Perfect World, Simple Plan
Ginny couldn't believe it. She wouldn't believe it. Her brother, her George, her flesh and blood was dead! She never got to say good bye, that she loved him, how sorry she was for everything.
But that wasn't the only thing bothering her. A nagging little voice in her head was telling her that she had something to do with it. Her dream could not possibly be just coincidence, could it? But it made no sense! Yet, it came true.
George had come with presents for her and he did die that horrid death. But Ginny would know if she killed someone, wouldn't she?
The red head grasped her head in frustration, tears spilling over her cheeks in torrents. She started sobbing loudly. Her brother died! How could he have died on her birthday? Why did he leave her all alone? Who would have done this to her? What loyal Gryffindor could have done this to her? WHY?
Ginevra looked up. A mirror on the other side of the room reflected her face. Or at least she thought it was her face. She screamed and fell off of her bed in horror.
A girl, a very pretty girl with gray eyes and black hair was looking back at her.
"WHO ARE YOU?" Ginny screamed, trying not to sound frightened.
But when she forced herself to look back at the mirror, her own face looked back. Not anyone else's. Not the same girl in her dream, the one who killed George.
Ginny stumbled over to the dresser, rubbing and feeling her face. Nothing was different. Nothing at all.
"It was in my head... all in my head..." she mumbled, trying to regain her composure.
It had been a week since her brother died and the funeral was today. Ron and her had to go take the train, where their parents would pick them up. Hermione and Harry were allowed to go, too, but she hadn't spoken to anyone in a while so she was not sure if they were going or not. The thing that bothered Ginny the most was how Fred might be taking the death.
The twins barely left the other's side their whole lives, and it would be hard to imagine Fred without George. Yet, Ginny was thankful that she at least did not lose both of them.
"Ginny...Are you okay?" A sweet, tentative voice asked.
Ginevra looked up to see Hermione standing awkwardly in the doorway. She tried to make a sound, but none came. Ginny only wished Hermione would come up to her, hug her, comfort her, anything but look sympathetic.
As if hearing the red head's thoughts, Hermione strode over and gave her a suffocating hug. Ginny wrapped her arms around the other girl, her heart beating rapidly. Her hair smelled of cinnamon, delicious cinnamon. Ginny inhaled it greedily and resisted the urge to lick her best friend's neck.
Hermione backed up a bit and gazed at Ginny's face. Her eyes were glazed over and she soon filled space the two of them again. But it wasn't for a hug. Ginny watched with belated breath as Hermione came closer, her lips pink and moist, until she saw every precious detail of her love's face.
That was when Ginny finally tasted Hermione's lips.
They tasted like chocolate. Or at least just as sweet and good.
Dark bouncing curls stuck to Ginny's wet cheeks, but she didn't mind, and the kissing was sloppy, unfamiliar. Yet, it was all perfect. She wished it would last forever and never end.
But it did end. Hermione leaned back and stuttered apologies before rushing off. It felt like Ginevra's heart was torn out, the way she left so quickly, like it was all a mistake. But she couldn't help running her fingers over her lips, cherishing the sweet taste of the other girl's mouth.
Her day just got better. Even if it was by a small portion.
Suddenly Ron's voice called from the common room. It was time to go. Hermione and Harry were waiting with him, both wearing formal black robes. Harry did not look much different. He was still pale, his eyes glowing a frighteningly shade of green with dark circles around them. Ginny knew what was wrong with him, he was wallowing in guilt again. Even after she went to the headmaster, nothing changed. He still acted the same.
Her thoughts followed her all through the train ride.
Hermione was staring at her. Even though she lingered at Ron's side her eyes never left Ginevra. All Ginny wanted to do was sink into Hermione's brown eyes and kiss her until everything else disappeared. They both shared embarrassed glances, but both knew what the other wanted. They wanted this all to end. They just wanted to be happy again.
But maybe the best way to be happy was to stick together.
Even if it wasn't, it was somethingGinny did not want to let go of.
Ever.
The funeral was something Ginny wished to forget with all her might. Fred, whose eyes were red and puffy, stood next to the casket. Next to George. His best friend, his brother, his business partner. His twin. George looked so calm and peaceful. Ginny wished she could just touch his face and he would wake up, as if nothing ever happened.
She did not know how long she stood there. It could have been seconds, minutes, or even hours... but soon Ginny couldn't hold in the violent sobs that racked her body. She fell to the carpeted floor in a small heap, crying and trying to rip the red hair out of her head.
Two warm, comforting arms wrapped around her body for the second time that day. But it was not Hermione. It was Fred. Tears were streaming down his face as well. Ginny stopped crying in a bit of wonder. She had never seen Fred cry.
He hugged her close to his familiar body and Ginny hugged back. They rocked back and forth in an attempt to regain control in themselves; clutching the other's body in a sort of life support.
Ginny planted kisses all over Fred's face, a strong bond of love formed between them in that moment, and Ginny felt she could suddenly tell him anything. However, all she could say was "Sorry!" over and over again. Fred pulled her into a tighter embrace and kissed her forehead.
"It wasn't your fault... Don't ever think it was your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault but Voldemort's. Nobody could connect him to the death, but I know it was, Gin, I know it was..." Fred murmured into her hair.
Ginny gulped in some air but only to cry some more. She pulled their faces together again and their tears mixed in a sad kind of affection as their cheeks rubbed together.
Soon, Molly joined the crying group, then Arthur, then the rest of the family. Harry and Hermione stood in an awkward corner, Harry's eyes betraying a sadness and guilt equivalent to any of the Weasley's. Hermione saw this and gathered Harry into a sisterly hug. The other guests looked away, intruders on the family's grief.
Ginny couldn't take any of this sadness anymore. She tore out of the group hug and rushed to the bathroom. She didn't notice Fred right behind her. As the bathroom door closed, she fell to the floor again and crawled toward the sink. Then she hoisted herself up by holding onto the edges of the sink.
In the mirror was not her face. It was the girl's face again. She winked and gave Ginny a superior smirk. Ginny let out a cry of horror and smashed the reflection with her fist. Shards of glass flew out in different directions. Then she noticed her hand. Her sliced hand was dripping giant maroon colored drops of blood. They trailed down her arm slowly and Ginny watched it in fascination.
I killed George, she thought. I know I did. I have to stop myself before I kill anyone else. There's only one way.
She took the glass out of her skin and steadied her hand so she could make a clean cut across her wrist. Then she pulled her hand back and tried to plunge the shard into her flesh. But it wouldn't move. Someone was holding her arm.
Ginny tilted her head back and thought for a moment that it was George. But no, it was Fred. The door was opened, but he soon released her arm to go close and lock it. Then he kneeled next to her, and plied the glass out of her hand before tossing it to the floor.
Fred took out his wand and repaired the mirror.
He gave Ginny a knowing look, then helped her mop up the bloody mess on her hand. They shared another hug. This time neither cried. It was silent, the air full of mourning. Ginevra looked into Fred's eyes and they stayed like that for quite awhile. Then, for some reason unknown to her, she kissed him.
And surprisingly, he kissed back.
This kiss wasn't the same as the one with Hermione. That one was sweet, slow, soothing. This kiss was desperate and needed. It was a kiss to escape Hell. it was forbidden and felt simply good, which was what both wanted. But it wasn't enough. They needed more.
A kiss was too simple to make people forget.
Fred pushed Ginny onto the floor and she let him. In fact, she entwined her legs around his waist. Her black robes were gathered around her hips. So her pink panties were revealed and just a bit of skin. Just enough to see her bellybutton.
She pulled Fred into such a fierce kiss after that, that their lips bled with the intensity. Instead of pausing, they licked up the blood, reveling in anything other than reality. Locks of red hair were pulled out of his head as Ginny grasped him in an attempt to forget, to never let go.
Fred's hands traveled up his sister's tummy, pulling her bra cups aside and squeezing her breasts harshly. Ginny moaned and arched her back, rubbing their crotches together and ripping off Fred's robes. He did the same and she never thought something so wrong and painful could feel so good.
He moved inside her and she cried out, tears spilling out past her eyelashes. Fred cried, too. They knew this was wrong, but they couldn't stop. After this everything would change. Yet, they needed this for their sanity. For a short trip down ignorance's saccharine roads.
A/N 6/18/05: Just edited this chapter. And yes, yes I Know. I know it's like "WTF? INCEST!" But you can't say I didn't warn you. I mean, I put the warnings in the summary, which should be the first thing you read. I said it had suicide, incest, slash and gore, so don't you dare complain. Now, as I say a lot, reviews feed my muse and my muse makes me update faster.