Chapter Four: A Picture Framed With All The Thoughts You Know You Hold Inside
Disclaimer: As much as I would like to own Eric Close, the F.B.I and Without A Trace, alas I only have the licence to dream. The plot is mine, my own, my preciousssssssssssss.
A/N:- I apologise in advance for this chapter. I have developed a condition called Muzzy's Marty Superhero Complex ………………. you'll see……
Dedicated to:
Spooky Bibi (I've never listened to any Bryan Adams in my life so if I did it's just a coincidence so I apologise to him and you!), Raspberry Muffin, EquestrianBabe, Sammy (Heya! You may have to wait a bit for the warm fuzzies …..), Rach5. TerribleFish (It's cool that you can read this even if you don't like the shipping.), Jtsideout389, NightMage, Missusmesser, Give Love A Break.
The next few weeks rolled past and Samantha and Martin hardly spoke to each other. Samantha was still continuing with her campaign to deny that any feelings she had for him were real and it hurt Martin to even look at her. Jack had tactically avoided pairing them up under the pretence of Martin needing to be with a more senior Agent i.e. him or Vivian. He had been suitably impressed by Martin's work so far – he was tactical, insightful and worked with a thirst to prove himself. After some outstanding work on the Calon case a few days ago, he had even gained Danny's seal of approval and Jack had seen them head off for a night on the town together. Samantha on the other hand, had retreated further into her shell than Jack had even thought possible. She had flatly refused to go out for a drink with the rest of them on Friday nights and she avoided eating in the FBI canteen at lunchtime.
"Samantha, Danny, what did you get out of Cassie Roberts' school teachers?" Jack asked as the team gathered round the whiteboard to report back.
"She's a model student, top grades, her college application all sorted out." Samantha started.
"But her English teacher had noticed she seemed a little distracted in class recently." Danny continued. "Her friends said that ever since her mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer, she had seemed depressed but when they tried to talk to her about it, she insisted that she was coping."
"Boyfriend?"
"She broke up with Richard Hemmings last month before the news about her Mom came through."
"Her parents said that she seemed fine as well. Cassie and her Mom had been spending a lot of time together since the diagnosis and Mrs Roberts hadn't noticed anything wrong. They thought she was taking the news remarkably well." Vivian explained.
"So, what are you thinking?" Jack mused.
Vivian shrugged. "It's sounds a lot like suicide to me." she sighed. "Her break-up could have hit her badly, then the news about her Mom, who knows what else goes through a seventeen year-old girl's head these days ……."
"Okay." Danny said reading a piece of paper handed to him. "Her car's just been sighted on the Freeway heading toward Phili."
"She has a horse in a stable out there." Martin said. "There's a lot of woodland, barns ….."
"Martin, I want you to head out there. Samantha, she might feel more inclined to talk to you, go with him. Okay?" Jack instructed. There was a slight hesitation before Samantha and Martin nodded. "I want you to keep your radio on in the car. Viv, Danny and I will be following you as soon as I finish things up at this end."
Samantha and Martin headed their way down to the car park in silence. She didn't want this to become unprofessional and she didn't even bother to argue when Martin automatically got into the driver's seat.
As they sped along the Freeway at the maximum speed, Martin couldn't bear to pass up the opportunity of questioning Samantha, now that she was trapped in a car with no escape. "All I want to know is what did I do wrong?" Martin said breaking the silence.
Samantha closed her eyes and hit her head on the headrest. "Martin, please don't start."
"What? Was it that bad that I don't even deserve an explanation?" Martin said, irritably.
"It was ten years ago, why do we have to bring up the past?"
"Because I've spent every minute of the last ten years trying to understand what happened." Martin said bitterly, keeping his eyes on the road.
"You did nothing wrong." Samantha sighed.
"Then what? Why?" Martin pushed, he could feel himself getting worked up which was unusual for him.
"Martin, don't-"
"Do you have any idea how I felt? Do you know what it was like?"
"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean for things to turn out like they did-"
"And yet I still don't get an explanation! All I want-"
"Guys …." came a voice through the radio.
"Dammit." Martin swore, hitting the wheel of the car – he had forgotten that the radio was on.
"Guys do you reckon you could forget about the last ten years for the next ten minutes so you might actually have a crack at saving this girl's life?" Jack bluntly into his radio.
"Sorry." Martin and Samantha muttered shamefully.
"Gees, those two have serious issues with each other." Vivian said from the back of the car in which she, Danny and Jack were travelling.
"Something big must have happened to create so much tension between them ten years later." Danny exclaimed. "You sure it was wise sending them in there together?"
"Yeah, let them sweat it out." Jack muttered.
Martin fixed his eyes on the road ahead. They were out of town now, in the country, and he knew the stables were off the next turning. The silence in the car was stifling and he loosened the knot on his tie and took a deep breath, focussing on thoughts of Cassie Roberts and not on the person sitting next to him. He turned off of the road onto a sandy dirt track leading to the farm and put his foot down hard on the gas.
The place seemed deserted except for a few horses out in the paddock and a Toyota Jeep.
"It's her car." Samantha said, comparing the registration she had on the photo in her lap with the one on the car ahead. "Why the hell did she drive all the way out here to do this?"
Martin stopped the car and they climbed out. "Maybe she wanted to go out with a bang." He muttered, looking at the ground where a few matchsticks were scattered.
They exchanged a worried glance. "There's footsteps leading to the barn, come on." he exclaimed. They ran over, pulling on their F.B.I jackets as they went.
"Jack, we're going in." he said into his radio.
Samantha put her ear against the panelling but there was silence. Martin got out his gun and she followed suit. The adrenaline was running through her and her blood was pumping as it always did during the climax of a case. She only hoped that they weren't too late.
"One ….. Two …Three …" Martin mouthed and they both kicked down the door and rushed into the barn, guns raised and on guard.
The first thing Samantha noticed as they ran in was the hay everywhere then she felt like she was about to throw up as the pungent smell of lighter fluid filled her lungs. She bent over and gagged impulsively.
Martin kept a hand on Samantha's back to steady her as he examined the room over the barrel of his gun, trying not to let the fumes go to his head. Hay soaked in lighter fluid covered every inch of the ground. Empty bottles of the flammable liquid lay stashed in the corner along with what looked like cans of paint stripper. Five large bundles of hay lay stacked up against the side wall and there, standing opposite them, monitoring their every move was Cassie Roberts.
She was watching them guardedly, her eyes red from crying. At her feet were an open photo album, a teddy bear and some personal effects. In her hand she gripped a box of matches tightly. If she set fire to the place, they would have less than 30 seconds to get out unhurt.
"Cassie, we're F.B.I." Samantha said. Martin lowered his gun. "We just want to help you."
"You can't help me." the girl said quietly. "It's too late for that."
Samantha put away her gun and took a couple steps closer.
"Come any nearer and I'll light it before either of you can run." Cassie threatened.
"You don't want to do this Cassie, not really. I know at the moment you think that you've got nothing worth living for, but trust me there's still so much left for you to do." Samantha continued.
"My Mom's dying from an incurable disease, my Dad completely breaks down and cries when he thinks my Mom and I can't see him, I know my friends and teachers talk about me when I'm not there 'Look there's poor Cassie, first Richard dumped her and now she's going to lose her Mom……..'" Cassie said bitterly. "I'm fed up with putting on a brave face, acting like I'm coping with everything when I'm not."
"I know how you're feeling." Samantha said quietly. "I've been where you are now. I know that you don't want to end things, not really. You just want an escape, get away from it be, be somewhere else where you don't have to deal with the things you're going through now."
"You don't know how I feel."
"I do. Please. Let's just get out of here and then we can talk about it." Samantha said pleadingly.
Cassie looked like she was hesitating but then her eyes were filled with an even stronger look of resolve. She lit the match. "You're not going to be able to talk me out of doing this. Get out now before I drop it." she said seriously.
"Cassie, please." Samantha said.
Samantha glanced at Martin. They knew that in a suicide case, if their lives were in danger, they had to get themselves out of there and forget about the victim – there was nothing they could do.
Martin met her glance, she was looking at him pleadingly. She didn't want to give up on this girl. She had been this girl.
Martin edged forwards, he looked at the match - thankfully it was one of those special BBQ ones and was longer than normal ones. He had a minute to do some quick talking and to persuade her Cassie not to drop it. He felt like he was being taken back ten years – he could visualise Samantha standing there now with the pills in her hand and the look of fierce determination on her face.
"Cassie, please, think about all the people who care about you. Think about your Mom, think about how this is eating her up. If you do this, she'll blame herself, blame herself for the rest of her life. What about your father? How do you think he's feeling? He needs you to be there with him through this difficult time. And your friends – they want to help. They only talk about you behind your back because you won't let them talk to you." Martin said.
Something in Cassie's face changed. Martin held his hands out and took a couple of steps nearer. He could feel Samantha's eyes on the back of his head. "Cassie, blow out that match and come to me. I'm not going to hurt you. I want to help. You have to trust me. You have to trust me that things are going to get better for you." he continued quietly. The flame was moving dangerously close to the end of the match.
Cassie locked gazes with Martin and he could tell he had broken through to her. "Okay." she said quietly but then she screamed in pain as the flame hit her hand and she dropped the match instinctively.
The hay caught alight immediately and the whole place started to go up in flames. Martin thought quickly. "Samantha." he shouted. "Get out of here!" He then dodged the flames and made his way over to Cassie. Everything was blazing. The whole floor now resembled a pit of fire. They had to get out of there. He grabbed Cassie's arm and dragged her all the way through the flames and out of the barn door just as the bundles of hay caught alight and the walls started to burn.
Martin breathed in the cool air. Next to him, Cassie knelt on the ground. She looked traumatised and her face was covered in soot but she didn't seem hurt too badly. Paramedics, which Jack had called, came rushing towards him and Cassie. He could see one of them calling the fire brigade. Police cars were pulling up and people came running out of nearby farmhouses. Jack and the rest of the team would be here soon.
Suddenly there was an almighty crash behind and the roof of the barn started to cave in.
"Come on, let's get you well away from there." an ambulance man said, bringing them an oxygen mask each.
"Where's Samantha?" Martin asked, as soon as he got his breath back.
"Who?" the man asked. "You two are the only ones who came out of there."
Martin whirled round. She was nowhere to be seen. As the realisation hit him, his eyes narrowed, he focussed on the burning barn. Everything else had gone blurry, it seemed like his eyesight was failing him as a hundred and one things rushed through his mind. He didn't even stop to think. He knew it was madness. If he went back in there, the chances of coming back out alive was next to nothing. But it didn't seem to bother him. Samantha was all that mattered. Samantha was all that ever mattered.
Martin started running back towards the barn at full pelt. He could feel the ambulance man try to grab hold of his jacket to stop him but he pushed him off. Everyone was shouting at him to stop but his legs kept moving. As he got closer, the heat of the fire hit him. He took his last breath of clean air and walked into the flames.
The last thing Samantha remembered clearly was the relief she felt as she saw that Martin had managed to talk Cassie out of suicide and then a scream and she soon found herself engulfed in flames. She could hear Martin shouting something at her but her brain wasn't registering what he was saying. She knew she should run but the flames were rising up all around her and she panicked. She couldn't think clearly. She backed up into the corner, the flames lapping around her feet. She wanted to shout for help but her mouth was all dry and she could hardly breathe, she sank to the floor. The heat was killing her, she was sweating everywhere, all her strength was evaporated. All she could see was orange. Something was burning. It was the sleeve of her jacket. Suddenly something was falling towards her, she felt dizzy. "Trust me." she muttered incoherently. And then black.
The heat was unbearable and he couldn't breathe. He felt his jacket catch fire and his hair singeing. Everything was burning. The black smoke prevented him from seeing anything. His shoes were melting - he could smell the burning leather. He felt like he was walking on hot coals. The black fumes were filling his head. He knew it wouldn't be long until he passed out from the lack of oxygen. He stumbled over to where he had last seen Samantha. He bent down on his knees and started to crawl. He actually was on fire now, his jacket, his trousers, his skin. The reek of plastic told him that his radio was burning too. Funnily enough he couldn't feel the pain - just a numbing feeling all over. His mind was slipping. He wanted to just roll over and give up. Something was telling him to move on though. He moved a few paces and could just make out a panel of the corrugated iron from the roof. It had smothered the flames in the area out and Martin reached out to move it, forgetting that it was metal. He couldn't describe the pain. His sense of touch seemed to die then. Samantha was lying on her front underneath. She was not moving. He couldn't tell if he was too late or not. The flames, the fire, the burning, the heat, didn't seem to matter anymore. He flung Samantha over his shoulder, staggered to his feet shakily and made his way towards the open air as fast as he could.
Martin was dimly aware of the release of cold air on his face. Figures were running towards them. He stumbled a few paces away from the barn until his legs gave way completely. He laid Samantha on the ground. She started coughing and her eyes opened and looked at Martin. Martin leant over and smothered the flames which were still alight on her clothes. He didn't have the energy anymore. He threw himself on the ground and rolled around to put out the fire which he was still engulfed in. He couldn't see anything. He could hardly breathe. He felt like he was floating in midair for a minute. Then the adrenaline ran out and his brain registered the serious pain he was in. Martin let out a scream of agony. With his last bit of energy he reached for his gun. He felt like his whole body was still on fire, he was burning, burning. He wanted to end it. His hand made for the barrel but his pistol was red-hot and his brain physically wouldn't let him touch it again. He gasped for air but it was like his lungs wouldn't let any in. Then darkness.
Jack sped across the field. "Oh God." Vivian exclaimed, seeing the burning barn ahead. The three Agents got out of the car and ran forwards, pushing the shocked civilians out of the way. Jack saw a doctor tending to Cassie. Where was Martin and Samantha?
Suddenly a horrific scream pierced the air. The three of them whirled round and saw two figures laying on the ground near the barn. Paramedics were rushing towards them. Samantha he recognised but he could only assume the other one was Martin. Where the large yellow letters of 'F.B.I' were once written on his jacket there was now a gaping hole. He was completely black from head to toe and if it wasn't for his screams of agony, Jack would actually think he was dead.
Danny walked closer. He couldn't believe the state his two friends were in. He was in shock, they all were. Jack looked like he had been stunned. He saw Vivian take one look at Martin and then run to a bush to vomit. He felt sick to the stomach as well and couldn't hold back the tears that fell down his face.
…………………………………………………………….
Samantha opened her eyes tentatively and closed them again as the glare of the hospital lights burned into the back of her eyes.
She heard someone mutter "She's awake." And she tried to say something only to realise that the oxygen mask over her mouth prevented her from saying anything at all. She saw Vivian hover near her bedside and moved the headrest on the bed so that she was up in a sitting position, revealing the two other previously unseen figures in the room. She used her left hand to take off the mask, noticing that she had a needle coming out of her wrist. She squirmed uncomfortably. She went to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear only to find her right arm completely wrapped in bandages.
"Hey, how are you feeling?" Vivian asked, sitting back down.
"Like I've been run over by a tractor." She sighed.
"You are extremely lucky." Jack said. "Stuck at the heart of a burning building for more than three minutes, the doctors expected you to have burns over 90 of your body. One minute more in there and your lungs couldn't have taken it."
Suddenly it dawned. Burning building. Barn. Cassie Roberts. "So, how long do I have until I work again?" she asked. Something was nagging at the back of her mind.
Danny chuckled. "Mind always on your work."
"Well, you have burns all the way up your arm and the bandages won't be able to come off for a few days, your back will be sore for many weeks and you have minor burns on your legs, but seeing as your breathing is almost already back to normal, you can be discharged tomorrow and back to work in a week." Jack answered.
"There's a whole pile of paperwork waiting." Laughed Vivian.
Samantha forced a smile. That thing, nagging, it was on the tip of her tongue.
"You seem ……… distracted." Danny said.
Then it hit. "Martin. How's Martin?" she spurted out worriedly. The other three exchanged anxious looks. "I want to know." She urged.
"He's in intensive care." Jack said quietly. "We haven't been allowed to see him yet."
"But he's going to be fine, right?" Samantha asked.
Vivian hesitated. "He's in a bad way."
Samantha closed her eyes. Martin, his face covered in soot, leaning over her. The intensity in his face. "Bad. How bad?"
"I don't think-"
"Tell me." Samantha said forcefully.
Jack swallowed. The doctors had said that it was best to keep the news from her for as long as possible in case the guilt-trauma sets in, but he knew Samantha and he knew that she wouldn't rest until she knew the truth. "He has severe burns on both legs, major burns on his right arm, second-degree burns on his side and back, minor burns on his neck …….. and his left arm ……………. They thought they might have to amputate it …."
"Oh my God." Samantha said, shocked.
"They don't but Martin had to undergo some major operation on it …….. it'll be many months before he'll be able to take the bandage off. He has lost all sense of touch in that hand as well……. He's having difficulty breathing on his own right now ……" he took a deep breath. "But Martin will pull through. I'm sure of it."
"He shouldn't have come back for me." Samantha said softly.
"If he didn't go back then, without a doubt, you would not be here." Danny told her.
Samantha looked at him, her eyes all watery. "I know." She said softly. Then she looked away. There was an uncomfortable silence only interrupted by a knock on the door. Samantha felt her insides tighten up. She braced herself for the onslaught.
"Victor, Hi." Jack said, standing up and shaking hands with the Deputy Director General. "How is he?"
Victor Fitzgerald had the same grim look on his face that he usually wore around the office and home when something wasn't going his way. In fact for most people, that was the only look they had ever seen him wear. "They won't let me go in and see him yet." He paused and fixed his eyes on Samantha accusingly. "He's not stable enough."
"He'll be fine." Vivian assured him.
Victor dismissed her comments and took a few steps closer to the bed. "Agent Spade." He said, his voice cold and removed. "It appears that Martin's your very own guardian angel."
Samantha met his gaze challengingly. She didn't need him piling on the guilt right now. "You don't think I was worth the risk, do you?" she said steadily. She felt like she was back in their house, being introduced to him for the first time. Back then, she had been too preoccupied with thoughts of her father to let it bother her, but she wasn't blind to the way Victor Fitzgerald looked at her. She would never be good enough for Martin.
Victor looked at her silently. Five years ago when he had been reading through the end of year reports and had seen who had been appointed as a new member for the New York Missing Persons Unit, his eyes had narrowed. Martin had never told either him or his wife what had happened between him and Samantha but he knew she had just left and broken his heart. The fact that she was good at her job and gained exemplary reviews only increased his dislike. He knew she was not good news from the start but the most annoying thing was that he had let himself be talked round by Martin and Beth. He gave this girl a chance for Martin's sake. And then she turned out to be the scum he had predicted. He would never forget the way Martin was for months after the Prom. He was like a whole different person, eaten up with frustration and grief. Now when he had finally got his life back together she was sitting here with only a few scratches whilst his own son – his pride and joy – was teetering on the edge of life and death because of her. Again. He knew she knew what he thought of her. They had never met in the ten years in between but now that Martin was working in New York, he guessed they were going to come face to face more often. The weak, troubled girl had grown into an ultra-confident, brilliantly minded woman. Again, he never fully understood how, all of a sudden, Martin and her had started dating back in high school, but he got the impression that Martin had helped her change her life around. And got nothing in return.
Victor shrugged. "Still I guess it saves the Bureau money from having to train another Agent to replace you." He said matter-of-factly.
Danny stood up, angry at having Samantha spoken to in such a way.
"Victor, that was uncalled for." Jack said gravely. Victor Fitzgerald. One of the big guns but he wasn't afraid of him. He knew what they were all like in Washington. The way they looked down at everyone around them. He had expected Martin to be just like his father but he had been refreshingly different.
Victor looked at him icily and glanced at Vivian and Danny. "Agent Malone. Whilst it's very touching that you're all so concerned for Miss Spade, I think your time could be better used back at the office writing up reports, don't you?" he said before walking out of the room.
Samantha breathed out a sigh of relief as he left. "I can't believe how rude he was to you Samantha!" Danny exclaimed.
"I think he's just a bit shocked that he nearly lost his only son and he just had to take out his frustration on someone." Vivian said diplomatically.
"As Deputy Director General that doesn't give him any excuse to speak to any Agent like that – practically telling her that she didn't deserve to be alive whilst his son was suffering." Jack said.
Samantha sighed. "Agent Fitzgerald and I don't exactly get on."
Danny leaned forward. "Are we ever going to find out your and Martin's little back-story?" he asked curiously. "You seemed ready to throttle each other in the car earlier."
"Yeah, I practically bite his head off for bringing up something he has every right to want to talk about and then he goes and saves my life. I'm not feeling too good about that right now."
"Sorry." Danny said.
Samantha shrugged. "You guys should get back. I'll be fine." She said.
"If you're sure-" Jack said, standing up.
"Sure. I'm a little tired and feel like a sleep now anyway." She yawned.
Vivian, Danny and Jack nodded and said their goodbyes. Samantha put her oxygen mask back on and closed her eyes, trying to convince herself that Martin was going to be alright.
A/N:- Is he going to be alright? I was going to give you a cliffhanger ending and finish this chapter outside the burning barn but I thought that would be too evil since you may have to wait a bit before the next update. I have exams all the way through June which unfortunately have to take priority but I might be able to update once more beforehand. We'll see. Anyway, hope you enjoyed.