If you'd asked me before if I ever felt guilt, I would have told you not just no, but hell no. No guilt over the executions of heretics and blasphemers. No guilt over killing creatures that looked human but weren't. No guilt.

And what changed? The world didn't. Well, yes, the world changed in some superficial and temporary ways, but the world really is the same wicked place now that it was before. The church didn't. It was the same institution it had been for far longer than I've been alive. The truly rotten parts are all at the top and are just replaced with more rot. The more things change…we all know the rest.

So what had to have changed was me. I can tell you the exact moment it happened. I have always known that Alexander's writ comes from God. That it is his faith and the purity of his absolute belief in God that gives him the gifts he has. When I saw him betray Maxwell and the Church to aid the Hellsing woman and his writ was with him, I knew that God was with him and not Enrico, and not the pope who ordered it to begin with. I knew that what God wanted was what my conscience wanted, too.

So, I followed her, too. I fought beside Integral Hellsing and Alexander Anderson and even Dracula himself and I did it knowing that what I was doing was right.

I feel no guilt for doing that. I feel guilt for not having opened my eyes sooner.