Chapter Ten: Everything I'm Gonna Miss, I Know I Can't Hide
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, Without A Trace or the FBI. I do however own my imagination, my Muse, my insanity, my fangirliness and my dreams.
A/N:- Sorry about the wait guys! Got back from holiday then got my A Level results and found out I got into the University I wanted so yay! Anyway, can't believe we're at chapter ten already!
Dedicated To:
WithoutATraceFreak, NightMage, SusanWATfan, Little Tussi, Give Love A Break, Jordan, Missusmesser,
Berta101 – Please don't break anything! And please don't be seriously dead – or dead serious!
Spooky Bibi – Personally I hate writing angst! Not too many chapters left but they'll be more fics after this!
Biajones – Don't be down! You will get your happy end I promise.
Tiantian Wang – Thank you. It's good that you can still enjoy the fic even though you don't like the shipping.
Jtsideout389 – Not too long now!
Isabell89 – Sorry! I'm a very sarcastic person which those who know me in real life can testify. Stop crying! Hopefully after this chapter you'll be able to enjoy the rest of your vacation!
Outrageous Band Geek – Maybe not the piano but I can lift my French Horn! Put me through a meat grinder? That's a bit mean. Don't make me reach for my chainsaw. Moving on from all this physical violence ………….
Bdoney – I feel guilty! I thought the slight twist would be intriguing and show Samantha's better side!
Samantha had done nothing all morning except sit at the conference table staring directly at the wall in front of her, sitting on the edge of her seat.
"You alright?" Vivian asked, taking a seat next to her.
Samantha jumped at her voice, having been so caught up in her own thoughts. "Hmm."
"You're wondering if he'll come today aren't you?" Vivian asked.
Samantha nodded and looked down at her hands.
"You know Martin, he'll be there, fighting his corner with the rest of us." Vivian said reassuringly.
Samantha shook her head. "You didn't see him yesterday. I screwed things up for us last time and I've done it again this time."
"You still love him?"
"God yes." Samantha muttered, blinking back her tears and raising her gaze to look out of the window so her colleague couldn't see her wet eyes.
Vivian squeezed Samantha's arm. "He loves you too and he'll come. And even if he doesn't, we're not going to give up on him just yet." she said, leaving Samantha sometime to reflect alone.
Samantha thought about what Vivian had said. Did Martin still love her? His actions up until last week had said as much and she felt that he did. If so, he couldn't just turn those feelings off could he? So he was just prepared to run away from them like she had done ten years ago because he was scared what would happen between them if he stayed on. She couldn't let him do it. Just as she pulled out her cell phone to call him, Danny walked up to her.
"Agent Mackenzie from Washington's arrived." he muttered darkly.
Samantha stood up and exchanged a look with her colleagues. "Okay, let's do this guys." she said leading the way into Jack's office where Jack was watching the Agent lay out the paperwork on the desk in silence.
Agent Mackenzie looked up and glanced at the Agents walking in and seemed surprised that Agent Malone let his Agents just walk through the door during what should have been a private meeting. He bit his lip from saying anything though - he wanted this to go as quickly and as smoothly as possible so he could be back in Washington in time for dinner.
"So what are you here for exactly?" Jack asked, knowing the answer only too well.
Agent Mackenzie seemed blissfully unaware of the hostile atmosphere in the room and happily ignored the unfriendly glares the four Agents were giving him. "I've got some paperwork which you'll need to check and then send to Agent Fitzgerald to get his signature to acknowledge his acceptance of the termination of his contract and then I have a pile of Curriculum Vitae of possible Agents just out from Quantico for you to have a look through to find a replacement.
Samantha cleared her throat. "We won't be needing a replacement." she said coldly.
Agent Mackenzie observed her for a minute and didn't say anything as if waiting to see if Jack would reprimand her and dismiss the other spectators. When this didn't happen, Adam Mackenzie turned on his sickly smile and adopted an airy tone. "I'm afraid that a Missing Person's Unit can't function with only four Agents." he said.
"There's five." Vivian cut in. "Us four and Martin Fitzgerald."
"I'm sorry, I don't understand. I thought that we had established the fact that due to problems with insurance coverage, Agent Fitzgerald will no longer be able to work here and must find a job elsewhere." Mackenzie said, turning to Jack Malone for confirmation.
"No, what we established Agent Mackenzie was that your bosses in Washington no longer wanted Agent Fitzgerald to work here for personal reasons and they sent you here to execute their demands." Jack said stonily.
"But the insurance ………"
"In case you haven't been fully informed of the facts Mackenzie, 'insurance' doesn't really cut it as an excuse." Danny said harshly. "Martin's been working here for months with his arm with no problem, no complaints and no visits from insurance brokers."
"Who's pushing this resignation through Mackenzie?" Samantha demanded. "Is it Victor Fitzgerald?"
Agent Mackenzie didn't say anything but he didn't need to. He could tell she knew just by the look in his eye. He gave a wary glance to the door. When his boss and sent him to New York, he had been told that it would be a quick and easy trip just to sort out the paperwork with no reluctant Agent to handle. He had been looking after the paperwork for dismissed Agents for the FBI for well over ten years now and he'd had to deal with some difficult cases usually where the Agent involved had struggled and fought and had to eventually be led off the premises by Security. But never in his whole career had he been attacked by four Agents cornering him in a very small room and a blonde-haired bitch who looked ready to eat him alive. The Director would be getting a very colourful report on his desk about Jack Malone and his team once he got out of here.
"Look, I'm just here to deal with the paperwork side of things." Mackenzie said trying to reason with them. "Whatever issues you have with this, you'll have to take up with the personnel management department in Washington."
"We were told to take them up with you." Jack stated. Mackenzie looked at him hard but couldn't tell if he was telling the truth or bluffing. "There's no justification is dismissing a perfectly qualified Agent with not a black mark on his record, months after he's awarded the highest award the FBI has for his bravery in rescuing a fellow Agent."
Mackenzie glanced at the blonde Agent and saw from the look that crossed her face that she must have been the fellow Agent. It was slowly being revealed to him the reason why Victor Fitzgerald wanted his son removed from this office. His jaw hardened and resolve set in. No more Mr Nice Guy. "Whilst it's all very touching that you're all queuing up to fight Mr Fitzgerald's battles for him, may I remind you that firstly he has accepted Washington's decision and secondly that if he does have a problem with it he would be here talking about this himself."
Jack exchanged a glance with the others and Samantha's heart lurched. This was it, there was nothing more they could do. They couldn't continue to pursue this any longer without him here. She bit her lip wishing that Martin was with them now, wishing that his heart was in it to fight this and stand up to his father like he had done so many other times before.
"He is." came a voice from the doorway.
Everyone turned to look at him in shock. He didn't look at any of his colleagues though, instead he strode in and fixed his determined gaze on Agent Mackenzie.
Agent Mackenzie was at a loss as to what to do so he did the only thing he could think of. "Agent Fitzgerald, I've heard so much about you." he said, holding out his hand for him to shake.
Martin ignored it. "Mackenzie. Should have known my father would have sent his lapdog." he said.
Mackenzie stared at him hard, deciding whether to go with the angry reproach or the lines he had been rehearsing over and over on the plane over here. He decided on the latter. "Agent Fitzgerald, I understand how you must be feeling given your current situation but you must understand that if the Bureau had any other alternative then you would, of course, still have your job but as it is the law forbids the FBI from employing any Agent which won't be covered by Insurance and unfortunately the insurance policy states that ………………"
"That's bullshit and you know it." Martin said, seething. "Stop reeling off a load of crap that my father told you to say. Shove the insurance and all the policies up your backside because I don't give a shit. This is MY job and I work my ass off here like everyone else. I work for the people of New York, not for a bunch of bigwigs who sit in their fancy offices all day." Martin paused and swallowed hard. "My arm is not a hindrance and there have been no complaints about my conduct so I intend to carry on doing my job as normal. If the big guys in Washington want me out then they're going to have to come and remove me themselves." he stated fuming, his stance defiant and his eyes alight with anger.
No one had ever seen Martin so worked up or so angry before and his infuriated presence in the room was quite intimidating.
Mackenzie saw at once that there was no rationalising him and all arguments would be fruitless. There in front of him stood a young man with an arm wrapped in bandages and dark shadows under his eyes showing a lack of sleep but full of fierce determination and resolve to fight for the job he loved, behind him stood four of his colleagues their expressions showing the same determination and their glares fixed strongly on him, like a pack of wolves chasing an enemy out of their territory. Deep down he admired Agent Fitzgerald and he felt a longing to be part of a team like this where the feeling of comradeship knew no boundaries. He stood up and gathered all the paperwork from the desk and made his way to the door. "I'll be telling the Director about this." he said before turning to go.
"You better be." Martin threatened to the Agent's retreating back.
Once they were alone, Martin turned to face the others. Jack just smiled at him with glowing pride whilst Danny started whooping and started cheers of "Go Fitzy! Go Fitzy!"
"I have to say I'm impressed. Didn't know you had it in you Fitzgerald." Vivian smiled as she retreated to answer her ringing cell phone.
Samantha turned away from the happy group. Her body ached with relief at seeing Martin back but she had no idea what to say to him anymore. She saw Martin, Danny and Jack busy having a laugh with each other and she slipped out of the office to get a breath of fresh air.
Martin laughed at Danny's rendition of his attack on Agent Mackenzie and immediately knew he had done the right thing. This was where he belonged - with the people he had grown close to over the past year, people he trusted and people he should have come to when dealing with his arm by himself became too much. Half listening to Danny, he looked at Jack and they exchanged a look: Jack and the others would be there for him every step of this fight with Washington at whatever cost. He silently smiled his thanks. Having a laugh with Danny made him realise how long it had been since he had actually laughed like that and he began to wonder why he ever thought about leaving in the first place. He saw Samantha turn and walk out the door quietly and he knew he needed to speak with to her. As Danny's tale came to an end, Martin thrust his hands in his pockets and turned to his two companions.
"Thanks for everything you've done for me so far." he said.
Danny grinned. "It's not a problem mate, as long as you promise me to keep positive from now on."
Martin nodded. "I'll try." he smiled before heading out to the balcony.
Samantha heard him coming before she saw him and she involuntarily turned away without realising she was doing it. It didn't escape his notice though and he seemed to take it as a sign to stand at a distance from her.
"Sam, I owe you an apology." he started, taking a deep breath. "I shouldn't have pushed you away when you were only trying to help and I shouldn't have said all those things which I never meant. I wasn't in proper control of my emotions and my head wasn't clear, I wasn't thinking straight but I am now and I'm truly sorry." he paused. "But as you can see I did listen to what you had to say and that's why I'm here now, fighting for my job and trying to make things right between us."
Samantha didn't say anything because she didn't know what to say. She was glad that he had chosen to fight for his job but at the same time she was still hurting inexplicably. She just needed time to process his words.
Martin took a step closer and leant on the railings next to her watching an airplane fly overhead. "I guess I was scared of how things were constantly changing between us. Like you said, one minute everything's fantastic and the next minute it's not ………. I think it's because we don't know what we want from each other."
"I know what I want." Samantha said very quietly.
Martin faced her but she wasn't looking at him. "Sam, I've got a lot of stuff to work through. I need to think of ways about how I'm going to keep my job, I've got Robert's wedding to prepare for and then I've got to concentrate my efforts on finding an alternative medicine or therapy that will help my arm, but most of all I want to work on making things right between us."
Samantha turned to face him, nodding. "Me too."
"So, do you reckon we could start by making our friendship as solid as it used to be? No more secrets, no more pulling away and a lot more talking and laughing." Martin suggested.
"I think I can manage that." Samantha said with a smile.
Martin met her smile with a grin and opened his arms, embracing her. Samantha's arms slid round his neck and held him close, her face pressed against his shirt. "I've missed you." she said softly.
"I've missed you too." he replied.
Samantha had no idea how long they stood there, wrapped up in each other's arms and in their own thoughts but they only pulled away when the door to the balcony opened.
"Erm, Martin. You've got a caller waiting on Line One." Danny said almost apologetically as if he was afraid he had interrupted them at a crucial moment. Martin just smiled though and with a last smile at Samantha they walked back in.
"Fitzgerald." Martin said picking up his phone, praying that it wasn't his father calling from Washington. It wasn't from his father but it was from Washington. "Robert, Hi, yeah …yeah things are much better thanks." Martin felt himself grinning as Samantha walked past him to get to her desk. It was amazing how much better he felt, having bridged the gap that was between them. Samantha returned his smile. "Yeah, yeah, she's here." Martin put his hand over the receiver. "Robert says 'Hi'." he said to Samantha. She nodded her acknowledgement and came and perched herself on the edge of Martin's desk, waiting for him to finish his phone call. "Yeah, yeah, really? Yeah, I'll tell her. I'll speak to you later. Yep, bye."
"You'll tell me what?" Samantha asked, her eyebrows raised.
"I'll tell you that you're invited to come down to Washington a day early and we're all going out to have a drink to celebrate." Martin told her.
"I'm invited to the stag night!"
"No, Robert's not having one."
"I didn't think Robert would be the one to turn down one of them." Samantha laughed.
Martin grinned. "Trust me, I'm the best man remember. It's just going to be a nice civilised round of drinks. Robert and his friends at one bar and Kirsten and her friends at another."
"Okay, count me in." Samantha said as she slid off of his desk to go and answer her phone.
Martin watched her go happily. It would be just like old times.
A/N:- As promised, things are getting better between Martin and Samantha. Next chapter will be coming soonish.