Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing, neither the manga nor the anime. Japanese people own both. I don't have any Japanese blood, so it's unlikely I'm heir to either gold mine.
This is my first, and probably my only, Hellsing fiction. It is based upon the anime, since that is the only version of the Hellsing universe I am aware with, but in this I assume that the anime Integra knows that Alucard was once Dracula. Well, if she's as smart as she seems to be, she would probably twig if she didn't already read the family records. It's just his name backwards, for crying out loud, is it that difficult?
So who wears the trousers?
Sir Integral Hellsing smoothed down the legs of her trouser suit as she sat back in her black leather bound chair, and gazed coolly at Alucard. Even in the customary shadows that always seemed to cling around him, especially at night, she could see the grin on his face – and a vampire's grin is certainly a sight to remember.
Cocky bastard, she thought, as she lit one of her cigars, tilting her head to keep her long hair out of the way of the flame. She didn't particularly care if he had caught that last thought.
"So, explain to me once again," she ground out, blowing the fragrant smoke through her nose, "just why you couldn't simply shoot the girl in the head and let her die a natural, merciful death?"
Her servant's smile widened even further, beyond the range that made her feel tentatively comfortable and into the much wider range where it made her feel definitely uneasy. "Why, Master, because it would have been…what is the word, now?" He hissed through his sharp teeth for a moment in mock remembrance. He's doing that just to piss me off. "Oh, yes…wrong."
"Don't take that tone with me, servant. It is not as if you are an epitome of virtue, after all." She snapped her lighter shut, with a sharp clink that resounded around the dark room, and examined Alucard over the wire rims of her glasses. "So, the great Alucard has suddenly developed a conscience, however perverted? Miracles will never cease, it seems."
"A conscience? Please, Master, give me some credit if nothing else. I simply felt it was such a waste of an innocent young life, caught up in tragic circumstances."
Integra snorted, as she blew out a smoke ring. Bullshit or what? "Innocent life? As far as I am aware, Alucard, you are appreciative of very little, least of all innocence."
"But you are, Master, however little you show it. Why, then, are you so annoyed at my saving the girl's life, rather than condemning her to an early grave?" His face was now filled with a mock innocence of his own, as if he didn't already know the answer to his question inside her mind.
Time to wipe that sickening expression away.
She leant forward, steepling her fingers and resting her chin on them, in one of her best authoritative poses. "Since your uncanny ability to see inside my head seems to have failed you this time, Alucard, I will tell you the source of my annoyance. I am annoyed because you have not saved the girl's life, but rather condemned her to an eternity of darkness and dependence on blood-"
At once he cut in. "She made the decision for herself, Master. As I have told you before."
"A decision she did not fully understand, and only accepted in the face of death. Do not interrupt me again, servant." She was pleased to see that the self-satisfied smirk on his face was curtailed somewhat by that remark. Taking the cigar out of her mouth, she went on, "Continuing with the former thread of conversation: despite that fact that you are my servant, you neglected to seek my approval for this venture. I authorised you to terminate the priest; I did not authorise you to create a fledgling for yourself in the process. Furthermore, you act in direct defiance of my will, by insisting that she not only be left un-terminated, but actually transferred to our forces!" She sat back again, watching the vampire intently. "Not exactly the behaviour of a loyal, obedient slave, is it, Alucard?"
To his credit, she supposed, he kept cool in the face of her fire, and in the face of being labelled as something he despised above all other things. He only smiled his customary, slightly mad (all right, more than slightly mad) smile. "So much anger, Master – especially in the last of your reasons. Averse to the idea of retaining a vampire in your employment? That sentiment seems a little redundant by now, don't you think?"
"Alucard, you know as well as I do that many members of the Round Table are…not exactly enamoured of our partnership. They claim that to employ a vampire lord as a hit man, when our mission is to hunt down and destroy the creatures of the night altogether, is hypocritical, and even blasphemous. I expect you can imagine the field day they will have if the girl is enlisted. To retain one vampire is unfortunately necessary; to retain two begins to look like carelessness."
"Surely you have never been one to care for what the Round Table thinks, Integra?"
That was certainly true. The youngest and only female in the elite council for several of the knights of England, she had certainly risen above the influence and scorn of her fellow members in the years since she had joined the council, by hook or by crook, and often by her own sacrifices into the bargain. And she had risen above caring what they thought of her as well.
But this was different.
"Normally the answer would be yes, Alucard. But this time, I confess that I share the opinion that they would undoubtedly have, should this little desire of yours come to pass." She stood up sharply, pushing her chair back, to emphasise her point, slamming her hands down on the table. "This girl is a hindrance rather than an asset, and I am not prepared to take the risk of her running rampant and becoming dominated by a lust for blood, just so that you can have another little worshipper!"
"But I made a promise to her that I would save her. She let me shoot her through the chest, because she trusted me."
His words, dropping quietly into the ringing echoes of her outburst, seemed to be far more powerful than her own. The smile was back on his face again.
"You would not have me betray her trust and break my vow, would you, Master?"
There was silence for a moment.
Damn you, Alucard.
The fabric of her trouser legs rustled faintly as she sat down again, taking her time. Slowly, deliberately, she took the cigar out of her mouth, and broke it in two with the fingers of one hand, the fragments sticking to her white glove, wishing it was one of the limbs of her disobedient vampire servant she was breaking instead.
"All right, Alucard," she said, quietly, depositing the remains in the ashtray, "you win…for now. She will – live, to a certain degree, and I will even take her under this roof. Walter will attend to her needs. But," she went on, wishing to wipe that triumphant grin off his face, or at least dilute it, as soon as possible, "in the end, since you made her, she is your responsibility and yours alone. You will make sure that she obeys you in all things, and above all that she feeds regularly; I don't want another bloodbath caused by maddening hunger in this house."
"Naturally." Alucard's smile was reminiscent of the one he had worn all those years ago, when he had ripped Richard's henchmen – and to a lesser extent Richard – apart. She knew he remembered all too well; to a vampire like him it was probably as if it had happened yesterday morning.
"But above all remember with that wonderful memory of yours that I require some return on my investments. In this case, I shall expect her to prove herself to be of some use. And if such is not the case, then I shall be having words on this subject with you, I assure you. I am not prepared to offer free board and lodging for any candidates you may be gathering for a new harem."
The vampire had been nodding complacently at all her requirements, but the last statement appeared to be funny to him, as he chuckled; a deep, macabre sound. He only ever laughed like that when he was amused by something she had said, or by the feeble efforts of a pathetic enemy – and she suspected that there might be a connection between the two causes. "A harem? Believe me, my Master, if I wanted to start a harem, little Miss. Police-girl Seras Victoria would not be my first choice of a concubine."
"Really? I always assumed that you were a sucker for the swooning damsel in distress, if you will pardon the extremely overused pun. A certain young lady in a white nightdress, sleepwalking to a bench in a moonlit cliff-top graveyard, seems to spring to mind for some reason." Integra paused, savouring the extra barb. "A young lady with bright blue eyes and long golden curls, no less."
Alucard growled, his red eyes shadowed, all joviality seemingly gone. "Lucy Westenra was a snack. Admittedly a rather extended snack, but a snack first and foremost. Her blood was satisfying, but I never truly had any intention of making her a vampire, at least at first. It was only when Van Hellsing began to try to protect her – 'try' being the word, of course," he added, grinning at her expression as he spoke so dismissively of her ancestor's efforts, "that I was inspired to make her into my fledging. Though not a complete one; I didn't wish to have an immature little disciple running around after me, while I was trying to achieve my great aim."
"So you turned Lucy simply to spite my forefather, and then left her to her own devices? That was rather cold, even for you."
"Vampire, remember, Integra. It's what I do."
"Well, not any more," she said definitely. "You have changed this Seras Victoria girl, and for better or for worse you are stuck with her now, whether as a disciple or a fledgling, or even a lover, if such takes your sick fancy." She stood up, waving her hand to indicate that the meeting was over. "Enjoy your new responsibility, Alucard."
But her servant did not leave. Instead he remained, the moonlight glinting on his fangs and on the glasses he still held loosely in one hand, his red eyes fixed upon her in a way that made her feel even more uncomfortable than she already was.
"Yes, servant? Was there anything else you wished to discuss? Any other fledglings you neglected to mention?" she snapped, desperately wishing she still had the cigar so that she could bite on it in annoyance.
"Of course not, Master. Judging by your reaction to this one, I wouldn't keep my head for long if any more appeared. It was just that, there was another strand of anger tied in with your thoughts regarding the police-girl – perhaps a hint of jealousy?" His smile would have caused his own immediate downfall, as well as the downfall of many saints. Female ones, at least.
It wasn't hard for her to realise what he was getting at. "Now, wherever could you have gotten that idea, Alucard?" she asked calmly. "Jealous of a girl who has had all hopes of a normal life taken away from her, jealous of a girl who may soon wish that she is dead rather than what she now is? If anything, I should feel sorry for her, rather than envy her." She sat back down again, sinking back into her chair and putting her hands on the arm rests, the very picture of a queen in the middle of her empire, very much confident. "And besides, I do not believe that I fit the criteria of the ranks of the Un-Dead, in case you are getting any ideas. A vampire must be willing to accept the shadow, must passionately want to live, to a degree; and I, unfortunately, fulfil neither category."
"Then again, to become a vampire one must be a virgin, and yet I managed to achieve my present state easily enough despite that."
Integra wrinkled her nose. "Thank you for that pleasant allusion, Alucard. Enchanting though your sexual history may be, however, it holds no fascination for me. Nor do any clumsy hints you might make at my opinion on this subject."
She knew very well what he was implying. Hah! As if she would be jealous of that little police-girl, simply because she had had Alucard's mouth on her. He would think that. Or rather hope for it.
She was perfectly aware of the fact that her servant desired her, had desired her practically since she had hit puberty, perhaps even before that; she would have been an idiot to think otherwise. She also knew that his desire was not the common lust he had for many things – among them battle, weapons, killing and especially blood – but something far deeper and more primal. Not a longing to ravish her, though…well, maybe that in time…but, above all, to turn her.
She had been equal to that, though. Through the years, as she had gradually grown aware of her own femininity and its effect upon her servant, so she had grown to cast it off just as quickly; but not just her skirts and blouses in favour of tailored suits.
If beauty is what attracts and distracts us, then I shall have to remove the distraction. If passion is what turns him on, I shall just have to turn it off.
She did not begrudge the loss of her softer side, her gentler emotions. In some ways, that part of her had died the moment that she had shot Richard through the head in Alucard's dungeon when she was thirteen. In her limited experience of passion and affection, you only ended up getting hurt, one way or another. The last two – really the only two - men she had loved freely and without restraint had been her father and her uncle; and one had died and left her, and the other had betrayed her and in the end had driven her to kill him. In that fleeting instant between breath and breath, when she had rested her weak arms, one of them injured and bleeding, on Alucard's supporting arm which only a minute before had entrapped her, feeling the vampire shudder unconsciously despite himself at her adolescent touch, focusing on her uncle's hated form to put a bullet through him, she had had a revelation as to how life should be lived: not as a child, or as a woman. They were the two worst things to be.
In that instant, in her mind, she had ceased to be either.
Vampires are passionate, she knew. Vampires are lustful. Vampires are wanton. They are corrupt, bloodsucking filth of the night, and if he presumes to think that I will ever willingly become one of them, then he is so very, very wrong.
"Have you anything else to say?"
Her vampire servant put his head on one side, a very mockery of wide eyed innocence. "Would you like to know why I became interested in Mina Harker, Master?"
"Pardon?" Changing the subject, Alucard?She quickly regained control of herself."Why? What does that have to do with this?" Or maybe it has everything to do with it.
Alucard stretched out his long arms, a new, uncharacteristic smile upon his face. It seemed almost – wistful. "Do you remember your ancestor's description of that wonderful woman, 'pearl among women'? How he described her? With a man's brain, and of an intelligent man at that, and a woman's heart?"
"Your point?" Integra asked narrowly, not liking where this was going.
Alucard's face was now shadowed in darkness, but his red eyes and white fangs gleamed out of the shadows, defying all physics. But then, when has physics ever mattered with him? "Let us just say, I prefer my women to be strong as steel, rather than wilting flowers. Flowers can only be crushed, but steel can be forged into a powerful weapon. It makes the conquest and remoulding all the more entertaining, and ultimately satisfying."
"The typical chauvinist pig, then?" she shot back, unable to resist.
His chuckle melted into the darkness, along with his form, leaving only his eyes, glowing like two blood red lamps. "Oh, indeed, Master. So you need not fear of any infatuation I might have with the police girl – when I create myself a companion, I will have made sure she transcends weakness and narrow-mindedness, and forsakes all other passions for a hidden one, that I will feel yet." Even his eyes were fading now, yet one winked at her. "And when the time comes for that passion to be unveiled, she will not fall into my arms, but instead show me her pretty pale throat and lovely body at last, after keeping it hidden from me behind nasty, harsh defences for so long…Master."
Unconsciously Integra's hand went to the cross-shaped pin which held her cravat in place, and which ensured that almost all of her throat and cleavage was hidden from public view by various different shades of silk each day. It was as if she could feel the pulse beneath her skin, even through the silk, the metal of the cross and the fabric of her glove, hammering against her fingers. She felt as if she had been unexpectedly checkmated, and not just in a meaningless game of chess, but for the whole of her life, in everything she had done and everything she had said since he had first come into her life and caused her to throw aside everything she had been, in favour of the creature he had wished her to become.
Alucard…you utter bastard.
But she would be damned if she would let him have the last word. Swiftly taking her hand away from the pin, she said quite calmly, "I wish you good luck in finding and…remoulding that most fortunate of ladies, then, Alucard. But until that blessed day, remember that you are still my servant; that I say who you do and do not seduce…and that I am the one who wears the trousers in this particular relationship."
The very shadows seemed to echo with the vampire's laughter, even as they removed themselves languorously, leaving the room almost as dark as it had been before, but considerably warmer than before. Integra was left staring at nothing, her fingernails digging through her gloves and into the polished surface of the desk. Her hands, however, she was dimly pleased to note, were perfectly steady.
With a sigh, she reached for the box of cigars, and then thought better of it, which was practically a first for her. Instead, to get her mind of her current thoughts – all right, my vampire servant has made it his mission to turn me into his perfect little concubine, and apparently he's made quite a good job of it so far - she conjured up an image of Hellsing's newest, second (and hopefully last) vampire member. She hadn't seen much of her, muffled up in a blanket in Alucard's arms as she had been – strawberry blonde hair, round face, button nose, and the obligatory blood red vampire eyes. She hadn't looked as if she'd be able to take on a vampire bat, let alone a fully fledged freak. Well, only time would tell on that matter.
Knowing Alucard, he'll probably insist that her uniform includes a short skirt. Perverseness doesn't seem to change much over the centuries.
However, she herself could be comforted by the fact that, however Alucard might have taken advantage of the way she had shaped her life since the beginning of his servitude to her, at least she could be certain that he couldn't see anything he wasn't supposed to see – in her own very definite opinion – when or if she bent over.
Though it wouldn't surprise her if he had found other 'methods' to combat that particular problem. He was, after all, very good at what he did, in every respect.
Her trousers rustled as she re-crossed her legs and leant back in her seat; and if Alucard had been present she was sure that he would certainly be quick to point out that her thoroughly masculine legs were folded in a definitely feminine position.
Did anyone get the references to Terry Pratchett and The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold? I know I did; but I was writing the thing so it didn't count.