September 7th Sunday

Number of Times Hair Washed: 4 (had to succumb to party preparations), Number of First Years Terrorized: 0 (deprived of the opportunity), Number of Potion Explosions: 0, Alcoholic Mixtures Drank: 3.5

Ah, it finally seems that the House Elves have perfected the subtle science and exact art of martini making. I'm rather proud of them. Though I would never admit that to anyone but myself. Between a dark glass of wine and a few rather well made martinis, I actually found myself enjoying the party.

But I admit that it is rather sad that I must resort to alcohol to have fun. Very sad, indeed.

Miss Granger was there, as per usual, looking lost and wandering about the punch bowl with an air of slight desperation.

To my horror, Madam Hooch had grabbed my arm to dance to some racket playing in the hall, and when I looked back, Miss Granger was gone.

I will have to check back later and see if she is all right. Um…it is…my responsibility to make sure no dark forces snatch the young ones.

Yes, that's right.

September 8th Monday

Number of Times Hair Washed: .5 (didn't condition), Number of First Years Terrorized: 3 (I could have done better), Number of Potion Explosions: 1 (better than usual), Points Taken from Gryiffindor: 17 (felt like using odd numbers today. So much fun to see Neville Longbottom stare at me in confusion when I take 5.6 points from Gryffindor)

Found myself giving a week's worth of detention to Mr Weasley for nothing more than looking at Miss Granger once during class. I am regaining my touch. Next time, it will be a month.

On a more disgusting note, Mr Potter seems to be nauseatingly happy, matching the warm glow that radiated through 6th year Potions via Ginny Weasley. Am afraid that something odd and unnatural happened last night.

Must slip some anti-shagging potion into the school's water supply. Then everything will be right with the world.

Well, the student's water supply, at least. I don't think Albus would be very happy with me, otherwise.

September 9th Tuesday

9:09am

Sent lengthy letter to the Wizengamot requesting an immediate reservation of Order of Merlin: First class. Well, that's one resolution out of the way. Will probably be here by noon.

7:05pm

Damn. Will probably be here tomorrow.

September 10th Wednesday

Noon

I give up. There is no point to my life.

6:45pm

Wait, maybe there is, now. After an uneasy Ginny Weasley's request for a contraception potion, I seem to have fulfilled my purpose:

To told her to get the hell out of my classroom and stop shagging Potter.

If that doesn't deserve OoM, First Class, nothing does.

7:15pm

Though, on second thought, maybe I should have just given it to her. I don't want any mini-Potters running around Hogwarts. Not to mention a Potter-Weasley hybrid would just be too much to bear.

7:17pm

No…no, I still think I made the right choice. A Snape shall never doubt himself.

September 11th Thursday

Number of Times Hair Washed: 1, Number of First Years Terrorized: 9 (gaggle of them were gathering near my door before class. Looked like they wanted my autograph or something), Number of Potion Explosions: 3, Points Taken from Gryffindor: 20

There seems to be an extreme group case of underage alcoholism in Hogwarts.

Though, I would like to be able to contribute the growing stupidity rate to something other than lack of intelligence.

Sad that alcohol has to have such a bad reputation. I've even noticed that Miss Granger seems to be falling under its spell. Either that or the Time Turner she used is starting to have some odd effects on her sanity.

She seems incredibly preoccupied, especially with Mr. Weasley. I've noticed that there have been some rather odd and disturbing doodles on her homework, but I hope they're not what I think they are….

Thanks to: Alex T., Joshua Glass, butterfly813, sirius lover, Linwe Saralonde (Yup, I did base this on Bridget Jones's Diary, though that's more in Hermione's Diary than this one. I probably will make a sequel to Hermione's, if not both, when I read the actual sequel to Bridget), Summner (I'm glad I can keep him IC, it's hard!), Melwasul (cannon means true to the books, or, practically, in the actual books), DRACO'sGiRl, Stacey (there will be more top tens soon!), Madame Plot Bunnie, Loah, Piggie, Dues Ex (you should feel special :)), YSM, and Meriadoc / Celithrathien!

Please press that button and make a poor lonely girl's day.