September 14th Sunday

Points Taken from Gryffindor: 29.26

In an odd mood today. That also seems to have floated through most of Slytherin, as Mr Zabini seems to have come around to speaking of himself in third person and referring to himself as a "she". Must be due to some gender confusion on other party's terms. I can think of no other explanation.

Draco has been frequenting the broom closet outside of the Head Girl's dormitories. Must find out what he is up to. Filch probably won't be too happy.

September 24th Wednesday

3:00pm

Ugh. Just…ugh. The nerve of these Gryffindors, taking it upon themselves to get up in the middle of a rather fascinating and vital lecture (by yours truly), walking across the room, and asking for a date. Not to mention it was Ron Weasley, and the person whom he asked for a date was Hermione Granger. It's enough to make a grown Potion's Master cry. Or wither up and die.

I don't know what I was thinking by only taking away ten points. It should have been at least a thousand. And maybe about seventy-two years of detention with Filch to Mr Weasley. Too bad that Filch probably won't last that long.

Must find healthy alternative to concentrate on. Maybe I should take up crossword puzzles.

3:15pm

GAH! Crosswords are a horrible, wicked invention. It's rather comforting to know that I'll probably still be in my prime long after the mutated children of these Muggle Pop Idols are suing their parents for money laundering.

September 26th Friday

Number of Times Hair Washed: -3 (It's possible, do not doubt me), Number of First Years Terrorized: 13, Number of Potion Explosions: 1, Points Taken from Gryiffindor: 0

Managed to worm my way out of chaperoning Hogsmeade weekend. Take that Minerva.

Now I can stay in my dungeon and brood sexily.

September 28th Sunday

Winky supplied me with a very interesting flyer today that I found tucked away in my bathroom. It was a tally sheet polling how "fit" some of the schoolboys are. She said she found it in the girls' toilets and thought that since it was "misbehaving by Hogwarts' standards" I might want it. Almost threw it away at first, but decided to give it a look over.

Must inform Draco that he's lagging behind. No Slytherin of mine will fall below fifth.

September 30th Tuesday

Lucius Malfoy was kind enough to pay me a visit this morning before my first class. He waited outside my door and almost slammed into me as I began to make my way for breakfast in the great hall.

"What are you doing here?" I kindly greeted him.

He really is an ugly man.

"I wanted to talk to you. That's all."

I grunted uninterestedly. "That's nice."

"I felt like doing something interesting," he said as I continued to walk down the hall.

"Really."

"Yes, do you know any particularly attractive women?"

"Not including students?" I asked. I couldn't help it, it just popped out.

He pursed his lips and glared at me. "You are joking, right? What are you, some sort of pedophile?"

Crap. "Of course not."

"Good, anyway…" He blabbed on for quite a bit of time while I failed to pay attention.

"Well, Lucius," I said as we reached the hall and he had ended his uninteresting, long-winded spiel. "I have breakfast now. And could you do something about Draco's popularity? It's severely waning at the moment, his rank does not satisfy me."

It is nice to receive a withering glance from a Death Eater. Especially when Lucius thinks that batting one's eyelashes is intimidating.

Thanks to: Skjeve (ya, I find that humor really cheers me up. If I'm reading an ansty/heavily romantic fic, I find that my mind is stuck there and it's a bit difficult to enjoy real life), Deeble, Madame Plot Bunnie (subtleties are my specialty. Look for more, this story's filled with them), SenshiofTerrah, death by caring, Mr. Norris, Kyra Invictus Black, Feverfew (yup, sappy love is blah, especially when it comes to Snape), Dues Ex (Hermione forgives you :)), Loah, tomzgurl77, Secret Agent Smut Girl, Melwasul, Mr. Krum, Aredhel Tasartir, winterspirit (I'm glad I can make someone's day better!)

Coming up: More Top Tens, odd obsessions, and maybe even a SURVEY!

Please press the little button.

Oh, and a not so silent plea: Please read my story "The Medicine Woman", it's not humor but at least I think it's worth reading. It feels a bit ignored.