A/N: You asked for a long chapter. Haha, your funeral.

October 1st Wednesday

Weird things are happening. I'm going to have to check into those.

In the meanwhile, Winky gave me a piece of parchment that looks quite promising for amusement. Must fill it out, as there are no Gryffindors around to take points from or Hufflepuffs to make fun of.

Have You Ever:

Lied: It's kind of a requirement in my lifestyle.
Run away: From what? I'm no coward.
Had sex: You're kidding, right? I'm Snape, for Merlin's sake.
Done drugs: Actually, no.
Drunk alcohol: See past journal entries.
Broken a bone: My nose and right arm after a run in with the Whomping Willow.
Failed a class: Again, I'm Snape.
Been in a fist fight: No, but wands can do some quite serious damage.
Dyed your hair: I bleached it once in my 3rd year. I was very misled.
Been in a car accident: No
Been out of the country: At least once a year
Driven illegally: Specify "driven"
Thrown a temper tantrum: Daily
Been suspended: No
Been expelled: No
Given the finger: Only when Dumbledore isn't looking
Rebelled against authority: While working for it, yes
Been in jail: Actually, about 36 hours in Azkaban. Don't want to get into that.
Kissed on the first date: Only kissing?
Overcharged your credit card: They're rather primitive, if you ask me.

Basics:

1. First name: Severus. How appropriate that this one should come after the question of whether I've ever had sex.
2. Middle name: Shannon. Tell anyone and you will die.
3. Last name: Snape
4. Nickname(s): Sevvie (how I loathe it)
5. Gender: Male
6. Age: 38
7. Birthday: November 27th
8. Height: 6'1"
9. Hair color: Black
10. Eye color: A rather nice shade of onyx.
11. Race: Caucasian
12. Do you wear glasses or contacts: No.
13. Do you have braces: HA!
14. Is your hair long or short: Shoulder length
15. Where were you born: Athens
16. Current location: In the bathtub
17. Zodiac sign: I never understood these things
18. How many languages do you know: Three: English, French, and Greek
19. Nationality: Now, British
20. Bad habits: Paranoia, loving too much
21. Piercings you have: Nipple. Oh, come on, don't look so surprised.
22. Piercings you want: None. The first was painful enough.
23. Tattoos you have: 1, if the Dark Mark counts
24. Tattoos you want: No more.
25. Today's date: I thought we already covered this?
26. The time: 7:08pm
27. Ready for a bunch more questions: Good Merlin, hopefully not too many.

Family:

28. Mother's name: Lina
29. Father's name: Sheridan
30. Step-parent's names, if any: None
31. Brother(s)'s name(s): None
32. Sister(s)'s name(s): I'm sensing a pattern
33. Favorite aunt: My parents were also only children
34. Favorite uncle: See above
35. Favorite grandparent: Granny, she always gave me chocolate
36. Worst relative: I think my father pretty much qualifies for that honourable position.
37. Best relative: Oh, can't choose...
38. Do you get along with your parents: Well, seeing as their both dead, I can say we get along flawlessly
39. Does anyone in your family understand you? Do I understand myself?

Pets:

40. Do you have any pets: Unless Winky counts, no.
41. What are their names: Hm…
42. What kind of animals are they: House Elf, I suppose. Though I have a feeling that Miss Granger would skin me alive if I said so.

School:

43. Are you still in school: Oh Merlin, I think I will be until the day I die.
44. Did you drop out: No
45. Current gpa, or last gpa you got: gpa?
46. Favorite grade: Year? Hmm…probably 1st, before I actually met Potter
47. Least favorite grade: 5th
48. Favorite teacher: I'm not going to admit anything. Most of them are still here.
49. Least favorite teacher: Binns. He's dead, he can't hurt me.
50 Favourite subject: Defense Against the Dark Arts. You were expecting Potions, weren't you?
51. Least favorite subject: History of Magic, fell asleep too many times.
52. Do/did you buy lunch or bring it: Neither was ever required.
53. Play any sports on the school's team: I tried out for Quidditch but ran into the goalpost. Wasn't a good year.
54. Do/did you do any extracurricular activities: Potions club (1 member)
56. Favorite dance: I don't dance.
57. Favorite memory: I really don't have very many.
58. Least favorite dance: Oh, but there are so many to choose from!
59. Least favorite memory: I would leave this one blank, but since I've written something that is no longer a possibility
60. Most humiliating moment: When the whole of Hogwarts found out whether I wore boxers or briefs. I can now say that I have now changed that choice.

Favorites:

61. Number: 13
62. Clothing brand: brand? Tailor, maybe?
63. Shoes: I actually prefer to go barefoot
64. Saying: "I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory and even stopper death" -Me
65. Tv shows: I don't want the telly.
66. Sport: Quidditch
67. Vegetable: String beans, no matter how often I'm told that they bear resemblance to my hair.
68. Fruit: Strawberries
69. Movie: I remember rather enjoying "Galaxy Quest".
70. Magazine: The Potion's Master Digest
71. Actors: none
72. Actress: Anyone but Ginny Weasley
73. Candy: Fizzing Whizbees
74. Gum: Don't chew it.
75. Scent: A woman's perfume (perhaps I should stop now)
76. Candy bar: Aerobars, the chocolate of the gods
77. Ice cream flavor: Pistachio and chocolate
78. Color: black
79. Season: Fall, when everything dies
80. Holiday: Something that doesn't involve cheer, but maybe presents
81. Band: Noise?
82. Singer: Again, Noise?
83. Group: None
84. Rapper: Merlin help us all.
85. Type of music: Must I say it again…
86. Thing in your room: My bed
87. Place to be: in my bed
88. Radio station: Wizarding Wireless? It's gone down the hole.
89. Tv channel: Again, I don't watch the telly
90. Junk food: I like to indulge in an occasional pork rhine.
91. Overall food: Chocolate, the darker the better
92. Store: It does not have a name
93. Shoe brand: I thought we already went through this?
94. Fast food: Ew
95. Restaurant: The Three Broomsticks is quite satisfactory
96. Shape: circle
97. Time of day: Night time
98. Country: Canada. I honestly don't know why.
99. State: of what?
100. Boys name: Severus
101. Girls name: Severina
102. Mall: The one at Chester? No, no, not at all.
103. Video game: ?
104. Shampoo: Since when do I like to use shampoo?
105. Board game: Chess
106. Computer game: I do not have a computer
107. Car: I do not need a car
108. Music video: again…
109. Swear word: Bloody. It makes easily amused Americans laugh
110. Word: Death
111. Month: November
112. Cartoon character: …
113. Scary movie: Since when are movies scary?
114. Team: of what?
115. Possession: King Theoden by Saruman. V. entertaining and not at all what truly happened.

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear:

116. Eminem: Yank
117. Dog: Sirius
118. Hot: Hermione (bloody…)
119. Britney spears: I thought we went over this, too?
120. Nsync: what?
121. Real world: Which?
122. Orange: fruit
123. Choice: decision
124. Fk: swear
125. Bisexual: who?
126. Black: That jerk
127. Icq: Excuse me?
128. Insane clown posse: Merlin help us all
129. Linkin park: hat
130. Jack: rubber
131. Rainbow: nostalgia
132. Cherry: shoes
133. Cucumber: long
134. Shark: powerful
135. Lifehouse: Wonk
136. Bats: Dungeon
137. Leather: Ooh…
138. Whip: Again, I must say "ooh…"
139. America: Canada
140. Water: drink
141. Volcano: explode

Hm…someone couldn't count…

Private life:

186. Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend: No
187. Do you have a crush: Maybe
188. Do you love anyone right now: Maybe
189. Have you ever been in love: Maybe

Good Merlin, there are another 200 questions. I think I'll quit while I'm ahead.

October 2nd Tuesday

Draco seems to be acting odd lately, as well as Minerva.

Good lord, I hope it isn't what I think it is.

October 6th Sunday

Number of Times Hair Washed: 1, Number of First Years Terrorized:2, Number of Potion Explosions: 7, Points Taken from Gryiffindor: 5, Toffees Received from Dumbledore: 17

I think I know what's going on…

Well, maybe. The toffees are a clue. But I think the sugar is making me go soft.

Miss Granger, too. Poor girl, her self-esteem is already low enough. She must know that it only adds to her…

Shutting up.

October 10th Thursday

Longbottom showed up in my class today wearing what appeared to be a suit or armor made entirely out of paperclips.

Made a threatening remark or two and when he tried to change them back to normal, they promptly disappeared. A v. big shock to most of the female students.

I think the Hogwarts' males may now have some competition on their hands.

Thanks to: Joshua Glass (Hm, I'll check it out when I have time!), Mr. Krum, Wendynat, Len (Hm, I will fix that), Madame Plot Bunnie, butterfly813, Dues Ex (feel the pain of your complaining :P), stragurl2, Piggie (haha, again, this chapter is the fruit of your suggetion...), Skjeve, Deeble (I looked on the lexicon and it said that it was mostly probable that he's a boy, so I decided to stick with that angle while still wondering on his actual sexuality. I wonder if we'll ever find out?)

Review, please!

(Enters another shameless plug for Medicine Woman here)