7:00pm
No classes for two weeks! Yesssssssssssssss!
9:00pm
Just received owl from Narcissa. Seems things are not going very well with Lucius. Somewhat concerned.
Well, not really.
She wants to meet me in Hogsmeade tomorrow afternoon.
Will have to fit that in somewhere between getting drunk and passing out on my bedroom floor.
~December 21st~ Saturday
Alcohol Units: 9 (v.g.), No. of times tried to console old friend: 27, No. of times successful in consoling: 0
Spent entirety of day in Hogsmeade with Narcissa Malfoy, trying to cheer her up and failing miserably.
Lucius is distant blahblahblah. Lucius is a bastard blahblahblah. Lucius doesn't love me anymore blahblahblah. Narcissa has always been a friend of mine, but I couldn't really care less about Lucius. It's about time she figured him out, really. Decided to not tell her about McGonagall in case she decided to take everything out on me in the middle of the Three Broomsticks.
"I'm so bloody miserable," she sniffed into her fourth Butterbeer. "Draco has turned into a ruddy lapdog for a Gryffindor and Lucius is acting all distant and saying that he doesn't need me." She wiped a frail hand across her brow.
I sneered at her, refusing to lose my snarky façade. "Since when is Draco a lapdog for a Gryffindor?"
She really would be an attractive woman if she wasn't so high-strung. Or distantly related to Sirius Black. Or Lucius's wife. Or Draco's mother. Actually, no, no, she's not really that attractive. Must have been a trick of the light.
"Since he started stalking that bloody Granger girl. You know, the mudblood."
I inwardly cringed. Merlin, what is it with Hermione? She's not incredibly good-looking, but she seems to have every Slytherin crawling around on their hands and knees.
I suppose I'll go into that later.
Anyway.
"Oh," I said, feigning mild surprise. "Yes. But you should be pleased to know that he is on the top ten list of the hottest boys at Hogwarts."
She looked up from the mug and sniffled. "Really?"
I scowled. "Yes."
"What number?" she bleated.
"Fourth," I muttered.
"Oh Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerlin," she sobbed, resting her forehead against the rim of the mug. "Please tell me he's at least behind some other handsome Slytherin."
"Erm, no, actually." It was suddenly getting very hot in there. And Madam Rosmerta was giving us weird looks. "Mostly Gryffindors."
Didn't help much.
"Please, Severus," she pleaded, grasping onto my sleeve. Rather annoyed with the grasping dealy, actually. "Please let me get hammered. Then take me home. I'd rather not remember what you just said."
Did as she wished and took her back to Malfoy Manor, then let the new house elf (a young whippersnapper that somewhat looked like Professor Flickwit. Of course, I've come to realize that all house elves seem to resemble him in some way) drag her up to her room and put her to bed. She seemed rather happy and forgetful when I stopped by later to make sure that she was still breathing.
"All right, Severus?" she croaked from the bathroom.
"All right," I replied, gazing idly at a portrait of Draco, riding a pony at the grand age of sixteen, that hung proudly over the mantle.
She came out, dressed in a pink dressing gown with her blond hair in disarray. Her eyes were bloodshot, and I was suddenly reminded of my little adventures in the bathroom earlier this month. Suddenly wonder whether house elves are working an internal terrorist network.
"My dear Lu…Severus," she lurched over, still quite tipsy. "Draco's one, right?"
"Excuse me?"
"He's one, right?"
Humour her, I must. "Yes. He's one."
She smiled vaguely. "Good. Snog me."
"Uh…" I backed away as she stumbled forward.
"Snog me."
"No," I said resolutely, suddenly proud of myself.
"I said snog me, you bloody, arrogant, self-obsessed…"
Sudden thought that she might have thought that I was husband. Not good.
"Um, got to go, good luck."
With that, was gone. Wonder if house elves can inflict mental damage as well as physical. Must warn her against the danger of seemingly harmless Muggle hairdryers lying in the bottom of a filled bathtub.
~December 23rd~ Monday
8:00pm
Christmas eve tomorrow. For some odd reason am terribly lonely. Must be because there are no Gryffindors to take points from. Big letdown. Even Potter is not here to torture.
Since when did everyone get lives?
Got another owl from Narcissa saying that everyone was home for Christmas and that Lucius kept threatening their son with the Rack. She didn't understand, as Draco was number one and all.
Dumbledore decided to try to get me in the Christmas spirit by charming mistletoe to hang over my head everywhere I went. Of course, didn't notice this until wee hours of the morning when I had already been rampaged by several second years and Madam Hooch. 'Tis the season for spiked eggnog, fortunately.
Dumbledore gave me Christmas present early. It's a Muggle twelve-step program to end drinking problems. Not v. funny. Not v. funny at all.
9:00pm
Suddenly in incredibly happy mood. Do not know why. I also have a rather strong urge for a cigarette, which is unexplainable since I do not smoke and find the habit rather disgusting. Perhaps it is Dumbledore's plan to get me off alcohol?
10. Mistletoe
9. Christmas carols. Music is bad enough as it is, but everyone singing it, a majority of those with voices worse than I thought possible, are singing them everywhere.
8. I'm lonely.
7. I probably had some traumatic childhood experience that makes me hate Christmas. That seems to be the widespread belief, anyway.
6. Crackers. I usually get something stupid like a fruit hat or a toy. Psh.
5. The house elves seem more eccentric than usual. Last year at the time I found a stuffed bear with a bow around its neck tucked in my bed, with the name "Cuddly" embroidered on its chest. Gave it Hagrid. He's probably feeding it well.
4. Yule Ball. Must I say more?
3. The contagious Christmas cheer. Sometimes I find myself going into my rooms smiling. Not normal, it must stop.
2. Potter usually stays, and there's really nothing I can do to get him in trouble.
1. Dumbledore. Just…Dumbledore.
Hmm, just a question to everyone, has anyone visited a Hogshead pub? I think I drove past one or two in London, and it was incredibly interesting (unfortunately, I didn't get to go in).
Please review!