Hey! So sorry about leaving you with a cliffhanger like that. I admit, it was awful of me. There's just some unexpected visitors in my house right now and they are slowly driving me insane. I love them really, they are just driving me to my breaking point. Twelve people in one tiny house is never good for one's mental health.

Anyway, so sorry about the lack of individual thank yous with this chapter. I'm just exhausted and have absolutely no time with them all wanting something from me. :( But big hugs to all of you for being so sweet.

Side note to April: So sorry I haven't checked out your fan art yet. I got called away from the computer just after reading your email and currently, my boyfriend is using my lap top while my bitch of a best friend (she's not really a bitch, just when I'm upset with her... lol) is on the only other computer in my house that will allow me to go to my email. I'm looking forward to seeing your artwork when I can though. And I'll give you my honest opinion. I'm sure I'll love it!

To others who have been emailing me: If I haven't emailed you back yet, I am terribly sorry. I just haven't gotten the chance. As soon as I'm able, I will.

Chapter 5:

She didn't say anything for a few minutes. "Haley?" he prompted gently.

A few tears rolled down her face. "Nathan, I don't know what to say."

He smiled anxiously. "Well, I was hoping you would say yes."

She looked at him sadly. "I would love to say yes. I would love it more than anything."

"So, just say it. Please, Haley. You know I'll never be happy if I'm not with you."

She shook her head. "I can't, Nathan. And I'm sorry. I just... it's too much to think about. I mean, I still have doubts and after all that's happened today... I don't know if I can."

He looked away from her. "Haley, don't do this again."

"Don't do what, Nathan!" she sobbed. "Because as far as I can see, this is the best thing for right now! I just need some time to think. And it doesn't mean no. It just means... I need to think."

He stood up quickly. "What's there to think about! I've given up everything for you! Why can't you marry me!"

She stood up and tried to grab his hand. He jerked it away from her. She winced. "I'm sorry, Nathan. Now's just not a good time..."

"Then when will it be a good time, huh? How long do I have to wait, Haley! Another 10 years! How long will it take? Because I've never given you any reason to doubt my love, yet somehow, you do. And it's starting to p iss me off."

"Oh, so I'm p issing you off now!" she screamed. "Well, I'm sorry if I need time to think about this. Nathan, Jack just died and you're gonna come ask me to marry you!"

Nathan looked at her and she knew she'd gone too far. "That shouldn't matter. We agreed he would never come between us again. I should've known that wasn't true. Haley, I've tried to be understanding about this, hell I f uckin made you say goodbye to him before he died because I knew that's what you needed. But I can't do this anymore. If you don't want to marry me, that's fine."

"But..."

"No! I think we both know that us being together has always been your choice. I've always loved you and you know that. Now, you have to decide if this is what you want. Either you want to be with me or it ends now. Because I can't keep playing this game, Haley. I can't keep being there for you and thinking everything's fine and having you suddenly decide to pack up and leave. I can't keep letting you walk away because it kills me every time."

Her voice shook. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying it's up to you now. Either you want to be with me forever or we're through."

Both stood there in complete shock. How had it come to this? Eight hours ago, they'd been perfectly fine. And happy. Now, they were on the verge of breaking up. For good this time. Haley looked down. "I'm sorry, Nathan. I can't give you an answer right now. I can't give you what you're looking for. And if that means that you can't be with me anymore, then maybe it's for the best. I don't want to keep breaking your heart. Because that's what I'm doing. A little at a time."

He couldn't believe this. She was basically telling him it was over. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and never let go. He wanted to tell her he didn't mean it and make things OK between them again. But he couldn't take back what he'd said. So, instead, he slowly turned and walked out the door. Waving halfheartedly at Andrea, he got in his car and backed out of her driveway. He was driving away from the one thing that made his life worth living.

Haley was the only person he'd ever shared everything with. She knew all about his dreams, all about the side of him he couldn't show everyone else. Around her, he always felt like he could be sweet and vulnerable. He never felt that comfortable around anyone else. Now, he had no one to share it with.

I felt for sure last night
At once we said goodbye
No one else will know these lonely dreams
No one else will know that part of me

He knew, in a way, he was being selfish. He had known it wasn't good timing, had known he should've waited. He'd just been so damn tired of waiting for her to realize that she didn't have to always be careful around him. He wasn't going to hurt her. And now he had.

I'm still driving away
And I'm sorry every day
I won't always love these selfish things
I won't always live...
Stop it...

But in his heart, he knew he'd done the right thing. If she couldn't be with him forever, she couldn't be with him at all. He couldn't lose her again like that. And, though he didn't want to make this about him, it would've been unfair to him to continue loving her if she was going to end up leaving again.

No one else would ever know him like she had. He'd never be able to really give himself to anyone else again. She was the only one for him. And if she couldn't see that, then it was time to let her go.

It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you

Why couldn't she see what was right in front of her? She kept waiting for something to happen, for something to show her that this was OK. If everything he'd done for her couldn't, then what could?

You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?

The only thing he had left was the ending. He got to choose how it ended. He looked around him at all the flashing lights of New York, then at the cold, empty seat next to him. He was alone. Some ending this was.

I'm here and now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the ending
The one thing that stays mine

He didn't want to spend his whole life wallowing in self pity. He didn't want to regret everything that happened.

People always said that you can't regret what happened in your life because it got you wherever you ended up. Well, if this was where he would end up, he didn't know how he could not want something different.

Amazing still it seems
I'll be 23
I won't always love what I'll never have
I won't always live in my regrets

It still hadn't really sunk in that she turned him down yet. He was still waiting for it to hit. It seemed almost unreal. Like if he could just open his eyes, he'd find it had all been a dream. They'd still be 13 and Haley's parents would decide not to move.

You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here and now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the ending
The one thing that stays mine

He kept driving, trying to decide if it was real. This couldn't be happening. Not to him. Nathan Scott had a perfect life. It had to be someone else's life he was living. It had to be.

He considered turning back around, going back to her. It would make them both happy. But they couldn't keep doing this dance. Someday, it would break both of them.

You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here and now I'm ready
Holding on tight

He reached the hotel and parked the car. It still didn't seem real.

He walked into the lobby and entered the elevator. It still felt like a dream.

He got to their room and used the key to unlock it. He stepped inside and was met with a dark, empty hotel room. Switching on the light, he reached in his pocket and pulled out the box. Opening it, he saw the ring. It was real.

Sinking on to the couch, he allowed the realization to hit. And he started to cry.

Don't give away the endThe one thing that stays mine...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Back at Andrea's house, Haley was stunned. He'd actually walked out on her. Now, she knew how he'd felt all those times. Leaning back against the sofa, she laid her head on her knees. Strangely, now that he was gone, she couldn't cry. It just seemed surreal.

All these years, she'd been the unsure one. She'd been the insecure one, always ready to run at the slightest sign of trouble.

She'd always been weary of the many things that could go wrong and she knew it had taken its toll on Nathan. She'd just never imagined he'd finally be mad enough to tell her. Hearing him say it only made her feel worse.

He'd asked her to marry him.

It was exactly what she'd always wanted. To marry Nathan Scott. And when he proposed, she guessed she'd been too shocked to say yes. But more than that, she still didn't know if it's what he wanted. How could he after everything she'd done to him? He'd said she was the only thing that would make him happy. How could that be true when all she ever did was hurt him?

Andrea quietly crept back through the front door and into the living room. Haley felt her sit down on the floor beside her. She lifted her head up and Andrea immediately saw the confusion. "What happened?"

Haley looked dazed. "I...I don't know. One minute, he was telling me I was enough for him and then, he...he proposed."

Andrea looked concerned. "Well, did you say no?"

"I said I needed time to think and he just blew up. He started telling me that he'd done so much for me and he didn't get why I couldn't marry him. Oh, Andy, he was so upset. Then, he said it was my decision. Either I wanted to be with him for the rest of our lives or we were over."

"So, what happened?"

"I told him I couldn't give him an answer, that I needed time to think. And then, he just left. It's really over. And I don't know what to do."

Andrea pulled her into a hug. "It'll be OK, Haley. You'll see. It'll all be OK."

Haley hugged her back. "But what if it's not? I just lost the most important thing in my life. And I can't get it back. I'm so stupid."

Andrea looked at her sternly. "Hey, you are not stupid. You've just had some bad things happen to you and it's clouded your vision. But maybe now... you can finally be that person you always talked about. You know, who you used to be, but thought you would never be again. You can leave this all behind and start over again."

Haley shook her head. "I don't think I can do that."

Andrea pouted sympathetically at her. "I'm sorry. Well, you know I'm always here. If you need someone to stay with or someone to vent to or hang out with. Or if you need a shoulder to cry on. It's OK to cry, you know."

Haley nodded, curling into a ball and laying her head on Andrea's lap.

And she finally realized. All this time, Nathan had been the one person she could rely on to always be there no matter what. And now, just like everyone else, he'd finally given up on her. And it hurt. It hurt so much she couldn't breathe. She looked at the coat Nathan had left lying on the floor next to her. And she cried.

So sorry for most likely upsetting a few people. grins sheepishly I swear, the devil made me do it!

No really, it was only for story purposes... I know, depressing chapter... leave me some reviews and I'll update soon...