Hello all. I'm feeling generous today, so I'm updating and I promise more are on their way. :) Hope that makes you happy. And we all know each chapter brings us closer and closer to break up or make up. Anyway, thank you to xPROUDBRUNETTEx for replying. That really made my day. I'm glad you've been reading and loving this story. Don't worry about not replying before. We all get busy. :) Love ya!

So, without further ado, here is the next part.

Chapter 8:

It was a little after midnight. Haley poured herself another glass of wine and continued flipping through channels. She'd tried everything else and it hadn't worked, so she'd decided to try drowning her sorrows in alcohol. She was still fairly sober, only on her second glass, but she was in no rush.

She clicked past an old black and white movie, past a romantic comedy, and finally settled on a slasher movie. It suited her mood.

Her cell phone rang. She checked the caller ID. It was someone she hadn't expected to hear from for awhile. "Hello?" she said softly, not wanting to wake up Luke or Andrea.

"Haley?" she heard his voice say softly. "It's Tim."

She stayed silent for a minute. "Hi, why are you calling? I thought you hated me."

He sighed. "Haley, I will never hate you. I called Nathan and we straightened things out." Still she didn't say anything. He hesitated, then continued. "He told me about you guys."

Haley shut her eyes. "Yeah, I guess you're taking his side."

"I'm not taking anyone's side. I just thought I'd call and say I was sorry to hear it."

"But I don't understand. I thought you'd still be really p issed that we went behind your backs."

"I'm not. I mean, sure it hurt me, but I can't stay mad forever. You guys belong together and I was crazy for thinking I stood a chance."

She felt tears coming to her eyes again. "It's not about you, Tim. You're a great guy and..."

"I know that. Besides, I'm with Michelle now."

She smiled, even though he couldn't see her. "That's great. I'm really happy for you guys. You deserve someone who'll love you like you love them."

He took a second to respond. "So does Nathan."

"Tim..."

"No, Haley, listen. I've seen how much you love him. And I know you're probably dying right now, just like he is. But you're always so... distant. You never let anyone in completely. And it always meant that you couldn't love him like you should've been able to.""

"I still don't think I can."

"But you have to, Haley. Or you're never gonna be happy. I know I'm the one people are always making jokes about, I'm the stupid one. But if there's one thing I know, it's that Nathan is the person you should let in. He always has been. Think about it."

"You're probably right. I just... it's too much to take in right now. Everyone keeps telling me that I don't have to do this alone and that I should try to fix things, but you didn't see the look on Nathan's face. It's really over this time."

"Maybe you're right, Haley. But you'll never know if you don't try."

"I hear you, Tim."

Both were quiet for a few seconds. Then, Haley decided to break it. "So, change of subject. How's your life been?"

"Well, at first, I didn't know if it would get better. But then Michelle..."

An hour later, Haley finally finished talking to Tim and hung up. She looked at the clock. 1:40 AM. She looked at the wine glass in her hand and set it down. She didn't need it anymore.

Haley didn't get much sleep that night, but she woke up feeling more like herself than she had in awhile. Tim was right. She had to either try to fix this or move on. The problem was, she had no idea which to do. She didn't know if she was quite ready to open up her heart to someone again yet. And she didn't know if Nathan was willing to let her anymore.

But before she decided anything, she needed coffee. So, she scribbled a note to Lucas and Andrea and left it on the kitchen counter. Leaving quietly through the front door, she decided to walk. She couldn't remember the last time she'd breathed fresh air for more than five minutes straight.

She inhaled deeply. It felt so good to be out in the open again. It made her feel like she was still a part of the world. Even when she felt like she didn't deserve to be.

She could still remember the Haley James she used to be. And she was still hoping she could return to that one day. Maybe, away from the drama of her relationship with Nathan, she could finally start working on that.

A few minutes later, she found herself in front of Starbucks. Glancing around, she noticed someone sitting on a bench across the street and she froze. It was him. Nathan. He looked so... broken. His face was pale and drawn and he looked exhausted. She wished she had the courage to approach him.

Well, you're just across the street
Looks a mile to my feet
I wanna go to you

After all this time, she was still nervous, still hesitant to be the one to make the first move. She guessed she always would be.

Funny how I'm nervous still
I've always been the easy to kill
I guess I always will

With a couple like her and Nathan, questions often were sparked about how they found their way to each other. Was it fate or just coincidence?

Could it be that everything goes 'round by chance (chance)
Or only one way that it was always meant to be (be)
You kill me, you always know the perfect thing to say (hey hey, hey hey)

She knew no matter which it was, the right thing for her to do was to just walk away. But somehow, she could never bring herself to leave him completely. Physically, they could be miles apart. But her heart was always with him.

I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away

Wherever Haley was, she could always picture Nathan easily. She didn't need a photo to remind her what he looked like. She loved him so much. But that didn't matter. It wasn't enough to make her go to him.

I can picture your face well
From the bar in my hotel
I wish I'd go to you

Every time she picked up the phone to call him, she would slam it back down seconds later. She couldn't bring herself to do it. And all it left her with was loneliness. And the feeling that she would always be this lonely.

I pick up put down the phone
Like your favorite Heatmeiser song goes
It's just like being alone

Across the street, Nathan had seen Haley. Out of the corner of his eye, he'd seen her. He knew she was staring at him. But he refused to acknowledge her.

He didn't want everything they'd been through to not count for anything. He wanted it to mean something now. But it couldn't when she still couldn't own up to her mistakes and deal with the consequences.

Oh God, please don't tell me this has been in vain (vain)
I need answers for what all the waiting after means (means)
You kill me, you've got some nerve, but can't face your mistakes (hey hey, hey hey)

He knew what he had to do, but he couldn't seem to make himself walk away from her.

I know what I should do, but I just can't turn away

He wished she would make this easier on him. He wished she would be the one to walk away from it all. So he could blame it on her. So he didn't have to. But he knew that wasn't fair. They both had so much to regret now and yet still, it didn't seem like it was finished yet.

So go on love
Leave while there's still hope for escape
Gotta take what you can these days
There's so much ahead
So much regret

He watched her now. Watched as she turned and disappeared through the Starbuck's door. It killed him to watch her walk away. He knew she wanted to fix things between them. He knew she wanted to make it better.

I know what you want to say
(Know what you want to say)
I know people can't help feeling differently

Maybe he should've done what he usually did. Maybe he should've been there for her like he always was, told her he loved her and it was OK. But what would it have meant if she just ended up feeling insecure again?

I loved you, and I should have said it
Tell me just what has it ever meant?

He couldn't help what he felt though. He couldn't help that she'd walked out on him too many times. He couldn't help that he was hurting too much to stop it from happening again.

I can't help it baby, this is who I am (am)
Sorry, but I can't just go turn off how I feel (feel)

She'd built him up by making him think they could last so many times. And each time, she'd taken it away. But even after all that, he still couldn't leave her completely.

You kill me, you build me up, but just to watch me break (hey hey, hey hey)
I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away

Inside the coffee shop, Haley had gotten her coffee and was sitting in a window booth, watching Nathan sit and stare at the ground. Why was this so hard?

Then, she saw something that surprised her. Tim walked up and Nathan stood up, slapping hands with him. When had Tim come to New York?

Outside, Nathan saw Tim approaching and smiled, standing to shake his hand and give him a one armed hug. "Hey, man."

"Hey, Nate. Sorry I'm a little late."

"It's OK. Gave me some time to think."

"Let's sit down," Tim suggested, noticing that Nathan looked weak. "So... I talked to Haley."

Nathan looked down at his hands. "Really? What did she say?"

"She thinks she doesn't stand a chance now. She thinks you won't forgive her." Nathan didn't say anything. "Nate, man, she's dying without you."

Nathan's head shot up as he looked at Tim, slightly angry. "What about me! You think this isn't just as hard for me? I mean, Tim, I was always the one who held us together. She just... she could never really give all of herself to anyone. And I thought I could finally get her to do that with me, you know? I guess I was wrong."

Tim sighed. "I hear what you're saying, I just... I know Haley. And she would probably be begging you to take her back right now. She'd probably do her best to let you in. But... you gave up on her man. You were the one person she could count on and you let her down. I know she did a lot to you, but can you imagine how much she's hurting?"

Nathan nodded, looking down again. "I know, but it's so hard. Think of all she put me through. What am I supposed to do if she still can't trust me to love her forever?"

"I guess it's up to her."

"Yeah..."

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Haley threw away her empty coffee cup and watched Nathan and Tim part ways, saying goodbye and setting off in opposite directions. She knew that they'd probably been talking about. Her. And she knew it probably hadn't been a happy conversation. She sighed. When had things gotten so out of control?

It took her twenty minutes to walk back to Andrea's house, but the cool air helped clear her mind and distract her from the problems that consumed her life now. Walking through the front door, she was met with the sight of Andrea sprawled on the couch, watching TV and Lucas carrying his bags out into the foyer. He dropped the last on the floor and ran a hand through his hair. Haley took a few steps toward him. "Leaving so soon?"

He started and finally noticed her presence. "Yeah. I gotta get back to work. And Brooke."

Haley smiled. "Tell her I said hey."

He held out his arms and she fell into them. "We'll both come visit soon."

"Promise?" she whispered.

He nodded as they released each other. "She can't wait to see you. Neither can Peyton or Jake. We all want to get together some time. Maybe when things..."

Haley raised an eyebrow. "Work themselves out with me and Nathan?" He looked at her sheepishly. She sighed. "Luke, I know you want us to fix this and, believe me, I do too. I'm just not sure it's gonna happen. At least not anytime soon."

Luke threw his hands up in surrender. "Fine. I know when to stop." He gave her another hug. Take care of yourself, Hales. You're gonna be OK."

She smiled. "I know. We all will be."

He nodded. "Alright, I'm gonna go. I'll call you soon."

"Bye, Luke."

He waved and gathered all his bags, vanishing through the front door.

Haley walked into the den and fell on the couch next to Andrea. Andrea smiled at her. "Hey, so, my schedule's free for once. What do you want to do today?"

Haley shrugged. "I don't know. Something fun."

Andrea laughed. "I can definitely do fun."

Haley laughed with her. A few seconds later, her cell phone rang. She groaned, pulling it out of her purse. "What is it with people and calling me lately?"

Andrea shrugged as Haley answered her phone, walking out of the den and down the hall into her bedroom. She sank down on her bed and pulled the phone up to her ear. "Hello?"

"Tutorgirl! Hey!"

Haley smiled. "Hi, Brooke. What do you want?"

"OK, Luke's gone, right?"

"Yeah, why?..."

"Cause, he told me not to call you. He was afraid I would interfere."

Haley laughed. "And you didn't listen."

"Do I ever? But that's beside the point. So, I won't ask you how you're doing, you probably hear that about a million times a day and it's a ridiculous question. But I will say, girl, you are making a mistake!"

"OK, I'll take the bait. What mistake would that be Brooke?"

"Duh! Letting Nathan go. I'm sorry, Haley, but you guys don't do so great without each other. I mean there's you and there's Nathan and when you're not together, it just doesn't work. For anyone."

"Well, what can I say? Yes, I am miserable without him. But I can't just take back what I did."

"No... but you have to try and get him back. Now, I could sit here and tell you, you did the right thing and, in the end, it's best for both of you, but I would be lying. Because you are Haley f uckin James and you belong with Nathan Scott. It's just one of those things that's written in stone."

Haley sighed. "I know. But I don't think I can fix it. For once, I've done something that can't be undone. I've hurt him so much, Brooke. And there's no way for me to take it back. It would take a lifetime to make up for it."

"Then spend your whole life making up for it, Haley! It's worth it for you two to be together and you know it. And damn it! I want two of my best friends happy!"

Haley smiled. "Thanks, Brooke. And I know you're trying to help, but..."

"I'm just making you feel bad. Yeah, I can tell. I'll stop now."

Haley laughed. "See, that's why I love you, Brooke. You can take a hint better than anyone I know."

"I know. It's part of my charm."

They continued to talk and catch up for the next hour. Then, they said goodbye and promised to get together soon. Haley felt a little better as she hung up the phone. She was nowhere near fixing her life yet, but she felt ready to start. And for now, that would have to do.

So, these chapters still aren't getting quite as long as I'd hoped they would, but at least they're more frequent now, right? Leave me some reviews (you know you want to) and I swear on my grandmother's brother's cousin's second removed best friend's wife's daughter's grave that I'll update again very soon. :) Please excuse the whackiness. I've consumed massive quantities of chocolate in the last 15 hours. I don't think it's good for my health, but it's always good for the soul, right? At least, that's my reasoning. :) lol.

Hugs and kisses,

Ash